Sherlock, Series 2

[Sherlock has just insulted Mrs. Hudson; she's run off in tears]

John Watson:
Go after her and apologise.

Sherlock Holmes:
Apologise? Oh John, I envy you so much.

John Watson:
You envy me?

Sherlock Holmes:
Your mind; it's so placid, straight-forward, barely used. Mine's like an engine, racing out of control; a rocket tearing itself to pieces, trapped on the launchpad... I need a case!

John Watson:
You just solved one! By harpooning a dead pig, apparently!

Sherlock Holmes:
Oh, that was this morning. When's the next one?

John Watson:
Nothing on the website? [Sherlock stands and hands John a laptop showing a message on "the Science of Deduction" website]

Sherlock Holmes:
"Dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes, I can't find Bluebell anywhere. Please, please, please can you help?"

John Watson:
Bluebell?

Sherlock Holmes:
A rabbit, John!

John Watson:
Oh.

Sherlock Holmes:
Ah but there's more; before Bluebell disappeared it turned luminous like a fairy according to little Kirsty, then the next morning Bluebell was gone! Hutch still locked, no sign of a forced entry. [gasps] What am I saying? This is brilliant. Phone Lestrade, tell him there's an escaped rabbit.

John Watson:
You serious?

Sherlock Holmes:
It's this or Cluedo.

John Watson:
Ah, no. We are never playing that again.

Sherlock Holmes:
Why not?

John Watson:
Because it's not actually possible for the victim to have done it, Sherlock, that's why!

Sherlock Holmes:
It was the only possible solution!

John Watson:
It's not in the rules!

Sherlock Holmes:
Well then the rules are wrong! [Doorbell rings]

John Watson:
Single ring.

Sherlock Holmes:
Maximum pressure, just under a half-second.

Both:
Client!