The Shield, Season Three

Operator:
Hello, you've reached the Police Department's main switchboard. Please listen carefully to the following options. To be connected to a supervisor, because one of our jackbooted thugs mistreated you, and you want his goddamn badge, press one.

Ronnie:
Cop I know sent it to me.

Operator:
If you committed a crime you think you can bullshit your way out of, press two. [Cops laugh]

Ronnie:
It's great, isn't it?

Vic:
If you shut up and let us listen.

Operator:
If you're shirtless and threatening your girlfriend with a knife, and don't want one of our officers interfering with "true love," press three.

Danny:
Priceless.

Operator:
To report an act of inter-racial profiling, put down your crack pipe and press four. [group laughs] If you can't locate one of your seven unsupervised, fatherless children, press five.