Stargate SG-1, Season 9

Lt. Colonel Mitchell:
I have no intention of taking anyone on. I'm just going to pose as a buyer.

Dr. Jackson:
You?

Lt. Colonel Mitchell:
Well, no offense, Jackson, but you do not strike me as the drug dealer type. In fact, you're not even close.

Dr. Jackson:
[in disbelief] I think I'm as close as you are!

Lt. Colonel Carter:
[to Mitchell] Come on! You're miles away.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell:
Teal'c, which one of us is closer?

Teal'c:
I believe the three of you to be equidistant.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell:
[gesturing toward Carter] Oh, please! Mary Poppins is not even in the running.

Lt. Colonel Carter:
Hey!

Worrel:
Oh its far worse for you, I no longer have any reason to keep you alive.

Dr. Jackson:
No, wait! I-I-I can think of a reason.

Lt. Colonel Carter:
[after an awkward pause, looks to Jackson] We're more valuable alive.

Dr. Jackson:
ah. Yes! We're more valuable alive. Good one.

Lt. Colonel Carter:
[silently] Yeah.

Worrel:
[sarcastically] So, you were done slaying system lords and decided to move on to more pressing agricultural concerns?

Lt. Colonel Mitchell:
That's exactly it. Corn patrol.

Walter:
How did you plant the beacon on Nerus?

Landry:
It was a piece of cake.

[Nerus arrives on Ba'al's mothership]

Nerus:
How nice! You came to greet me in person! Oh! Oh! I have this fabulous innovation I want you to... It's-it's called a cupcake. Oh, it's so good-

Ba'al:
Why have you returned?

Nerus:
My old friend, you wound me deeply.

Ba'al:
I'm capable of wounding you much more deeply.

Ba'al:
If you wish to return to my court, Nerus, you will have to prove yourself.

Nerus:
How?

Ba'al:
Find me planets suitable for my new empire. I am ready to begin anew.

Nerus:
Well, first I must recover from my...

[three of Ba'al's clones walk by]

Nerus:
...harrowing... ordeal...

Ba'al:
It would be wise not to defy me, Nerus. Things have changed considerably since you left.