That '70s Show, Season 8

[At a veterans' reunion, Red is flustered that Leo is actually a World War II veteran despite his hippie appearance]

Red:
I can't believe Leo is a veteran. I don't know whether to like him a little more or like myself a little less.

Bob:
Red, this was supposed to be your special night. We should be the ones over there getting free drinks.

Red:
"We"?

Bob:
I spent all my money on this costume.

Red:
[walks up to Leo] So Leo, what exactly did you do in the war? I mean, just besides drive a supply truck.

Veteran:
Just drive a supply truck?! Leo, did you tell them what you did?

Leo:
Nah. It's embarrassing.

Veteran:
You gotta tell 'm!

Leo:
All right. I peed on Jane Fonda.

Veteran:
Leo here drove his truck right into a German tank formation and rescued an entire platoon.

Bob:
Really?!

Veteran:
Didn't you get a medal for that?

Leo:
Yeah. I forget what it was called, but it was shaped like a purple heart.

Red:
Damn Leo. I'm impressed [shakes Leo's hand] From one veteran to another, I'd like to buy you a drink.

Leo:
Actually, I like to buy you a drink.

Bob:
I'll take a drink.

Red:
Sorry. This round is for men who fought for Uncle Sam, not spent the war hiding in their Uncle Sam's house.

Leo:
Hey man, even if he didn't see action, he still deserves a drink.

Red:
All right, fine.

Leo:
Bartender, one Shirley Temple!