Top Gear, Series 12

Jeremy:
[Croakily] Can I just say...

Richard:
Ooh, it speaks! Or sort of squeaks.

[Jeremy tries to speak but has trouble]

Richard:
Ooh, that's just a noise. Are you deflating?

[Jeremy pulls out a bottle and sprays it in his mouth]

Richard:
What's that? [Reading from the bottle] Synthetic saliva?

Jeremy:
It means I just have a few minutes of speaking.

Richard:
Oh, so you like - you need more saliva? Well ladies and gentlemen I have no doubt we can oblige with that! How do you know it's synthetic and it isn't just some bloke... [Imitates spitting into a bottle] Bottle it!

Jeremy:
You can shut up for a kick off as well.

James:
What?

Richard:
What noise is that you're making?

Jeremy:
[Pointing to May] Have you seen his eye? He's got the biggest eye infection I've ever seen. At least I don't look like a mutant.

Richard:
Has it come to this?! I'm working with these two. This isn't a television program anymore; it's a colony!

Jeremy:
I tell you what, instead of hurling abuse at each other, why [coughs] - excuse me - why don't we do the news?