Top Gear, Series 13

[During the discussion on the new Jaguar XJ]

James:
Come on! Nobody gives a pig's arse about all that diesel stuff. (Crowd Laughs) It's the new XJ; the important question is "Is it a proper Jag?"

Jeremy:
Now what you mean is "Is this car slightly caddish?" Is that what you actually mean?

James:
(nods) Yes.

Jeremy:
Is the person who drives it a bit... um, what's the word? Im not quite sure how to sum it up, but it's the sort of person who would go away for a weekend with his wife to a hotel, to some romantic place, and spends the entire night... flirting outrageusly with the waitress. And it's okay because he's got a "Jaaaaag."

(Everyone laughs)

Richard:
That's the Jag driver; he'd get away with anything! (Changes tone) I'm terribly sorry, I ran over your dog. (Whimpers) ...in my "Jaaaaag."

(Crowd laughs)

James:
Is it fair to say? Do you think that no "Jaaaaag" driver is ever entirely trustworthy, but it's in a really nice likeable way?

Jeremy:
Yes! If you would go to a prison, forget the sort of "stabbists", and you know the stranglers. The ones who are in there for a bit of Tax Dodging...

(Richard Laughs)

James:
Yeah.

Jeremy:
I bet eighty percent have got "Jaaaaags." (Crowd laughs) You know what I mean now?

(Turns to someone in the audience)

Jeremy:
You got a Jag? Who here's got a Jag? (Stands up then points at someone who responded) You got a Jag? Look at him!

(Audience laughs)

Richard:
Yup, he's a Jag driver.

Jeremy:
He goes away with a sort of girl for a weekend, and then goes... "Awfully sorry..."

Richard:
... bit of an issue with the wallet.

Jeremy:
"Would you mind awfully settling this while I go warm up the "Jaaaaag?"