Two and a Half Men, Season 1

Alan:
OK, I put the groceries away, I folded the laundry, I put Jake to bed....

Charlie:
The guilt thing doesn't work on me, Alan.

Alan:
Yeah, well it's all I got. I gotta go.

Charlie:
Where are you going?

Alan:
Take out the garbage.

Charlie:
Today wasn't garbage day.

Alan:
No, not here, at Judith's.

Charlie:
At Judith's? Alan, your wife threw you out.

Alan:
Well that doesn't mean she doesn't need me anymore.

Charlie:
It kinda does. So, how do you lift those garbage cans without a spine?

Alan:
...The-they're on wheels.