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Two and a Half Men, Season 1

Two and a Half Men (2003-present) is a TV series original centered around a hip single bachelor whose lifestyle is interrupted when his newly separated brother and his son move in. more »

[at the supermarket]

Charlie:
I can't do this anymore, Alan. I quit.

Alan:
You can't quit poverty, Charlie.

Charlie:
I want the good stuff! I want cheese that isn't air-dropped into Third World countries! I want ouchless toilet paper! I want vodka that doesn't look like Fred Flintstone would drink it! I want my life back.

Alan:
Fine. Then swallow your pride, call Mom, and ask her to lend you some money.

Charlie [opening the bottle of generic vodka]:
Yabba-dabba-doo.

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