The Venture Bros., Season 1

Dr. Venture:
Did you lift anything heavy?

Dean:
(in extreme pain) I told you, it's not a hernia.

Dr. Venture:
Were you roughhousing with your brother?

Dean:
Nooo.

Dr. Venture:
(suddenly, in horror) Oh dear god... You two haven't been... experimenting with inappropriate touching-

Dean:
No! Gross!

Dr. Venture:
I know you've been seeing a lot of that little tramp who lives next door. Lord knows what kind of diseases that hussy carries.

Dean:
(groans, still in acute testicular pain) It's getting worse!

Dr. Venture:
Dean, I don't want you hanging around with Triana Orpheus any more. I don't approve of the way she dresses! Girls like that are usually on the dope. (gasps) Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum?! You can tell me! - I'm hip!

Dean:
Daa-ad!! Why are you doing this?! I don't know what I did!! Suddenly it just felt like someone kicked me in the rocks, and- and they never took their foot away!

Dr. Venture:
Alright Dean, you're going to have to pull down your pants. I have to palpate the region.

Dean:
Please dad! Please, please, please don't feel me up!

Dr. Venture:
I'm going to palpate, Dean. This isn't any fun for me either. Do you want me to get H.E.L.P.eR. to do it? Is that better for you? A doddering old robot with cold, steel claws. Is that what you want?

Dean:
Ahhhuh!!I want a doctor!!