The Venture Bros., Season 4

Col. Gathers:
It's downright reasonable. I could pole-dance better than half those women. Good lord, son, there should be a mandatory retirement age for strippers.

Brock:
Did you see I got cornered by Robin last night? I almost had to chew off my own arm to get away.

Col. Gathers:
Ohh, that poor woman has the saddest tits. Damn depressing.

Brock:
Right? Yeah, they're like The Notebook sad.

Col. Gathers:
Her tits are like "coming home from school and finding out that your old man ran over your cat" sad.

Brock:
Mournful. She has mournful tits. They're like two suicide notes stuffed in a glitter bra.

Col. Gathers:
Those things are like a little kid with progeria cracking all his ribs trying to catch a Nerf ball-just sad. Damn it, she has gloomy tits!

Brock:
It's like she put a dollar's worth of change into some old socks and then taped them to her chest.

Col. Gathers:
I want to build two little caskets and give her tits a tasteful, dignified funeral.