The Venture Bros., Season 4

Pete White:
I have a check here for $50,000 for whoever helps me rescue Billy from vampires.

Brock:
We're not mercenaries, White. We handle the guys that nobody else wants to deal with.

Pete White:
Well, that's perfect, because nobody else wants to deal with me.

Brock:
Yeah, you're not getting it. Hunter, why don't you explain what we do here at SPHINX.

Shore Leave:
SPHINX!

Col. Gathers:
It works like this-if someone points a gun at you, you call the police. If a bunch of guys are pointing guns at you, you call SWAT. If they're in spandex and pointing a super laser at you, you call OSI. And if they're dressed regular and pointing a super laser at your daughter, that's when you call SPHINX.

Shore Leave:
SPHINX!

Col. Gathers:
So explain to me why we'd give a squirt about your roomie being abducted by vampires.

Pete White:
We're talking about Billy here! You guys owe him. You did the...you know.

Col. Gathers:
Spit it out, White! This is SPHINX!

Shore Leave:
SPHINX.

Col. Gathers:
We have no secrets here. When men live and work together, it's imperative that there are no secrets. I miss my breasts! Inside of me, there's a woman screaming to be heard.

Mile High:
I hit a dog with my car last week, but told the owner I found him like that.

Brock:
I once jerked off twelve times in one day just to see if I could.

SPHINX Agent:
I had an erotic dream about Henry Rollins last night, and I'm straight as an arrow.

Shore Leave:
Remember that smell I told you was the garbage? That was my ass. I had chicken tandoori for lunch.