The Vicar of Dibley, Season 2

Geraldine:
I think we have a caller on line one. Hello, caller.

David:
Vicar, is that you?

Geraldine:
It is indeed. Is that David Horton, local councilor, chairman of the parish?

David:
You know bloody well who it is. I'm ringing up about this interview tomorrow.

Geraldine:
David, I feel I should warn you, we are actually live on--

David:
I'm cancelling. I'm sorry. I don't want that moron Alice asking me damn fool questions.

Geraldine:
David.

David:
And it's no good telling me you'll get someone else, because frankly they're all zombies. Frank, Newitt, Jim - I've got sheep who do a more probing interview. Have to cancel--talk to you later.

Geraldine:
Uh, David. Just before you go, just between you and me, how are your hemorrhoids?

David:
Well... They're terrible if you must know.

Geraldine:
Aw. Really painful? Very embarrassing? Bit like a bunch of grapes hanging out your bottom?

David:
... Yes, well it is actually. My lavatory hasn't know what's hit it in the last few weeks.

Geraldine:
Aw. Aw. Well thank you, David "Hemorrhoid" Horton for sharing that with us live on the Dibley Radio call in. Anything else you'd like to add?

David:
[silence] ... [fake German accent] And this is Rory Bremner now using my real voice. I bet I had you all fooled, eh? Hahaha.

Owen:
Zombies? He's got nerve.

Jim:
No, no, no, that's right. I'm not going to watch his show anymore.

Frank:
Nor me.

Owen:
Bloody Bremner.