Victorious, Season 3

Mr. Dickers:
Well, well. It's 7:06 here in Los Angeles. That means that in Australia, it's yesterday! (pause) Or tomorrow.

Robbie:
Y'know, in Australia, when you flush the toilet, the water swirls backwards.

Mr. Dickers:
Put a sock in it, Afro! You clowns are gonna sit in here all day and think about why you're in detention! (Jade leans back and spits her gum in the air; Rex leans back and catches it in his mouth) Now, cellphones! Let's have 'em.

Beck:
Why?

Mr. Dickers:
Because in detention, there are no phone calls!

Beck:
What about texting?

Mr. Dickers:
NO.

Andre:
E-mail?

Mr. Dickers:
NO!!!

Tori:
Can we play Grumpy Gerbils?

Cat:
I love Grumpy Gerbils!

Robbie:
I can't get past Level 23.

Mr. Dickers:
ZIP IT, corn pie!

Jade:
Can we have corn pie?

Mr. Dickers:
SHUT UP! (brief pause) PHONES!!! (the gang all put their phones in the box) Now...i'm gonna put your box of phones right here! (puts them on top of the bookshelf. Tori then raises her hand) What, "princess"?

Tori:
I was just wondering what the plan is for lunch.

Mr. Dickers:
Well if you pre-turds get hungry, there's a big plate of tuna right here! (points to it)

Robbie:
Um, technically, sir, if perishable foods aren't kept at either below 34 degrees or above 140 degrees-

Mr. Dickers:
Pipe down, side salad! Eat the tuna or starve! I could care less!

Andre:
I think you mean you couldn't care less.

Mr. Dickers:
What's that?

Beck:
You said you could care less.

Tori:
Which implies that you do care, at least a little bit.

Mr. Dickers:
I don't.

Beck:
Well, then you should have said, you couldn't care less.

Robbie:
But you did not.

Cat:
Hey, what about the guy who first landed on the moon? He said "One small step for man." I would've just said "Oh, my god, I'm on the moon!" (Beck smiles)

Mr. Dickers:
Alright, not another word!

Jade:
Word.

Mr. Dickers:
That's it, West, you just bought yourself another Saturday detention.

Jade:
Did I get a good deal on it?

Mr. Dickers:
You just bought yourself another one! (Cat yelps and buries her head in her hood)

Jade:
Okay, look, i'm sorry, I apologize.

Mr. Dickers:
That's three! THREE Saturdays!

Tori:
But she was apologizing!

Mr. Dickers:
Okay, Vega, now you got one!

Tori:
Why?

Mr. Dickers:
Boom! Another one!

Tori:
I don't want another one!

Mr. Dickers:
That's three! You want to to try for four?

Tori:
I really don't!

Mr. Dickers:
That's four! You want five?

Jade:
YES!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Dickers:
Okay, Vega, you just got five!

Tori:
What?!

Cat:
(silently) Tori, stop!

Tori:
Stop what? Jade said yes!

Rex:
I guess he's afraid to give one to Robbie. (Robbie covers Rex's mouth as Mr. Dickers comes to him)

Mr. Dickers:
Oh, yeah? I got one for you, too, Fudge Sack! Anybody else? Huh? Anybody? (no one speaks) You mess with the cow...you get the udders! (Dickers leaves the library as the door closes)

Tori:
FORGET YOU!!!