The Vampire Diaries, Season 5

Damon:
It's like driving past a car crash except you want to look away.

Bonnie:
What are you doing here?

Damon:
I tutor some kids in calculus. You know, I like giving back, be a good role model. Kidding! I'm here to kidnap your boyfriend.

Jeremy:
You're not funny. Let's get out of here.

Damon:
You're not going anywhere, buddy.

Bonnie:
Let go of him.

Damon:
Or what? You'll glare at me to death? You don't have your little magic wand to back you up anymore, Bon-Bon.

Jeremy:
Hey!

Damon:
Ooh!

Jeremy:
Hey. Leave her alone.

Damon:
Relax. I'm here for you, not her, you idiot. Keep up. Anyway, I have this hit list, and I can't find my last target so basically, I need a witch.

Bonnie:
Ok. Well, you just said it. I can't do magic anymore, so go away.

Damon:
Grams ran occult studies. I'm sure we could throw a rock and hit a witch around here. So listen: take this. This is Wes' blood. My buddy Enzo kept this as a souvenir. Now this should jump-start a locator spell. Tick-tock.

Jeremy:
Are you deaf? She is not helping you. You're not gonna hurt me. Elena would--

Damon:
Elena would what? Hurt me? Dump me? Been there, done that! Wrote the country song.

Bonnie:
Kill you. She would kill you.

Damon:
Cool... and then me and all her doppelgängers could start a baseball team on the Other Side.