Blackadder

[Trying to find a bride for the Prince]

Blackadder:
Of the 262 princesses in Europe, 165 are over 80 - they're out; 47 are under 10 - they're out; and 39 are mad.

Baldrick:
They sound ideal!

Blackadder:
They would be, if they hadn't all got married last week in Munich to the same horse. Which leaves us with two.

Baldrick:
And what about them?

Blackadder:
Well, there's Grand Duchess Sophia of Turin. We'll never get her to marry him.

Baldrick:
Why not?

Blackadder:
Because she's met him.

Baldrick:
Which leaves...?

Blackadder:
Caroline of Brunswick as the only available princess in Europe.

Baldrick:
And what's wrong with her? [Blackadder stands up]

Blackadder:
[shouting very loud and very fast] GET MORE COFFEE! IT'S HORRID, CHANGE IT! TAKE ME ROUGHLY FROM BEHIND! NO, NOT LIKE THAT, LIKE THIS! TROUSERS OFF, TACKLE OUT! WALK THE DOG! WHERE ARE MY PRESENTS?!

Baldrick:
[flustered] ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! Which one'd you want me to do first!?

Blackadder:
No, that's what Caroline's like! She's famous for having the worst personality in Germany...and as you can imagine, that's up against some pretty stiff competition!