Blackadder

Blackadder:
Thank you George, but if you don't mind, I'd rather have my tongue beaten wafer-thin by a steak tenderizer and then stapled to the floor with a croquet hoop.

[Blackadder has just sent Baldrick to clean out the latrines, and when he returns, a massive cheer is heard outside']

Baldrick:
Sir, it's all over the trenches!

Blackadder:
Well, mop it up then!

Baldrick:
No sir, the news! The Russian Revolution has started! The masses have risen up and shot all their nobs!

George:
Well, hurrah!

Blackadder:
Oh no, the bloody Russians have pulled out of the war!

George:
Well, we soon saw them off, didn't we?! Miserable, slant-eyed sausage eating swine!

Blackadder:
The Russians are on our side, George.

George:
[surprised] Are they?

Blackadder:
And they've abandoned the Eastern Front.

Baldrick:
And they've overthrown Nicholas II who used to be bizarre!

Blackadder:
Who used to be the tsar. The point is that now that the Russians have made peace with the Kaiser, at this very moment a quarter of a million Germans are leaving the Russian Front and coming here with the express purpose of using my nipples for target practice!