Blackadder

[Blackadder and Baldrick enter the room]

Blackadder:
All right, where is the malingering git?

George:
Hello, Cap, pip-pip Balders, here I lie.

Baldrick:
Nice to see the lieutenant looking so well, sir?

Blackadder:
Course he's looking well, there's nothing wrong with him.

[George laughs]

George:
Didn't I tell you the Captain was a super cove?

Nurse Mary:
Yes you did. Well Captain, you are indeed fortunate to have a loyal friend like darling George.

Blackadder:
I think you might be under a slight misapprehension here, Nurse. I lost closer friends than the darling Georgie the last time I was deloused. Now if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than exchange pleasantries with a wet blanket. Would you get out? [Mary gawps at him in astonishment] We've got some important military business.

Nurse Mary:
Well, ten minutes only, then. [She exits]

Blackadder:
Right, pork-face, where's the grub?

George:
Sorry?

Blackadder:
Come on, the moment that collection of inbred mutants you call your relatives heard you were sick, they'll have sent you a hamper the size of Westminster Abbey!

George:
[outraged] My family is not inbred!

Blackadder:
Come on, somewhere outside Saffron Walden, there's an uncle who's seven feet tall with no chin and an Adam's apple that looks like he's trying to swallow a ballcock!

George:
I have not got any uncles like that! And anyway, he lives in Walton-on-the-Naze!