Blackadder

Blackadder (1983, 1986-89, 1999) is a television show which originally aired on BBC One written by Richard Curtis, Ben Elton, and Rowan Atkinson. It traces members of the Blackadder dynasty and their associates through different periods of history. more »

Nurse Mary:
Well, sir, I'm only a humble nurse, but I did at one point think it might be Captain Darling.

Melchett:
Well, bugger me with a fishfork! Old Darling, a Jerry Morse-tapper?! What on Earth made you suspect him?

Nurse Mary:
Well, he pooh-poohed the captain here and said that he'd never find the spy.

Melchett:
[seriously] Is this true, Blackadder? Did Captain Darling pooh-pooh you?

Blackadder:
Well, perhaps a little.

Melchett:
Well then, damn it all, how much more evidence do you need? The pooh-poohing alone is a court-martial offence!

Blackadder:
I can assure you, sir, that the pooh-poohing was purely circumstantial.

Melchett:
Well, I hope so, Blackadder. You know, if there's one thing I've learned from being in the army, it's never ignore a pooh-pooh! I knew a major: got pooh-poohed; made the mistake of ignoring the pooh-pooh -- he pooh-poohed it! Fatal error, because it turned out all along that the soldier who pooh-poohed him had been pooh-poohing a lot of other officers, who pooh-poohed their pooh-poohs! In the end, we had to disband the regiment! Morale totally destroyed... by pooh-pooh!

[Blackadder and Nurse Mary both look extremely bored; Mary has begun reading an 'Ideas' magazine. During the next line, she looks around nervously and puts the paper down, sitting on it]

Blackadder:
Yes, I think we might be drifting slightly from the point here, sir, which is that, unfortunately, and to my lasting regret, Captain Darling is not the spy.

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