MythBusters, 2005

[On experimenting with different mixtures of gunpowder.]

Adam:
In this line of questioning, the only way to know without... being educated is to just keep on trying different formulations. And at a certain point we have to stop and just, you know, blow [censored] up.

[Adam has failed at several attempts to create effective rockets.]

Adam:
I think we need to get professional help... then maybe find some rocket experts.

[Adam joins Jamie as he's making new rocket fuel.]

Adam:
You makin' pudding?

Adam:
80 pounds of gunpowder, 22 idiots, 1 crash-test dummy... priceless.

[Just after the first rocket chair launch.]

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Just like Xuan Hu, Buster's vanished, but he's no astronaut. In fact...he's toast.

Adam:
His a** is on fire!

Adam:
And here I thought the Elevator of Death was the most damage he's ever withstood. He is burnt to a crisp!

Adam:
[in a Chinese accent] I going to teach you a lesson.

Adam:
I'm staring at a Chinese-dressed crash test dummy on a throne strapped to 70 pounds of gunpowder. [laughs] I just had another one of those Mythbuster moments.

Adam:
Buster was taken to another world in a puff of smoke.

Jamie:
Kind of makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, don't it?

Adam:
If you mean it makes me feel like I feel about the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, yeah, that kind of warm and fuzzy, cause it's a FANTASY!

Jamie:
I'm not sure what it's gonna do, but it looks cool.

Adam:
Nonetheless, we were able to do it with a reasonable number of tests, and I'd say it's busted, busted, busted! and I don't wanna get any e-mails about it!

[Adam recoils as an electrical device shorts out.]

Adam:
That might have been, I dunno, a bad noise. I'm releasing the mysterious blue smoke here. The problem is once you release the mysterious blue smoke, electronics don't work anymore.

[The MythBusters are about to subject a ballistics gel bust of Adam to a custom-made razor-sharp ceiling fan.]

Adam:
As long as you're going to do it with me, let's make sure everyone knows who it is.

[Adam then puts his glasses onto the bust.]

Adam:
You'll have to tell me how it turns out 'cause I can't see a damned thing.

Kari:
[Points to the bust.] Judging by the Coke bottles on this thing, he can't see a thing either

Kari:
It's like a little tornado down here!

Adam:
Absolutely, and so probably some human cranium, we've done this before when we did Penny Drop..

Scottie:
Human cranium? We have human cranium?

Adam:
I have the human cranium in storage, yep.

Scottie:
You would!

Adam:
We have one of everything here at MythBusters.

[After detonating a cherry bomb in a cement truck.]

Adam:
It sounded like we just planted a midget with a paper bag.

[The team have just destroyed a cement truck with over 800 pounds of ANFO.]

Adam:
Jamie, I swear I left it right here!

Jamie:
This has got nothing to do with the myth; it's just a big boom.

Jamie:
Talk about removing concrete; there is no concrete; there is no truck; there's no nothing.

Kari:
Failure is always an option on Mythbusters.

[Adam holds up what appears to be one of the cement truck's engine parts.]

Adam:
Well, there's your problem!

Adam:
It's all gone, man that's it... (Laughing) Mythbusters 1... Cement Truck,0

Adam:
OK, everybody say it with me... Jamie wants big boom.

Christine:
Don't shoot me with that pellet gun.

Adam:
I'm not gonna shoot anyone with the pellet gun...[imitating southern accent] Not unless I have to!

Jamie:
Did I ever tell you that I worked as a concrete inspector for several months up in Seattle?

Adam:
Was this before or after you were the big animal veterinarian for the circus?

Jamie:
No, I never did that. You must be mistaken.

Jamie:
Think, then act. Don't act, then think.

Christine:
[Looking at level on top of homemade concrete prison] Oh my God, it's level! [level falls over] awwwww...

Jamie:
Time for us to pit our skills against each other.

Adam:
You have an unfair advantage because you've broken out of a Mexican prison before.

[Adam notices that Jamie is using a radio part on his salsa.]

Adam:
What is that?

Jamie:
This is a radio.

Adam:
How'd you get a bloody radio?

Jamie:
I was good.

[After spending hours trying to dissolve the window bar]

Adam:
If anything, my bar is bigger! I'm increasing the mass of the bar!!

[Jamie watches Adam burning salsa.]

Jamie:
He's practicing for his experience with the electric chair.

[Adam burns his hand with salsa.]

Adam:
Ow! [cries in pain] ow, hot, burning, salsa napalm!

[Jamie watches Adam scrape burnt salsa off his bars.]

Adam:
God, this stuff smells rank.

Jamie:
It looks kinda like... poo.

[Adam handles a silk shirt soaked in urine.]

Adam:
You know, I don't think Jackie Chan used real wee for this. God, this stuff smells rank. Eew, it's warm! I didn't want it to be warm! There's wee everywhere!

Jamie:
It's our mission to destroy the car, no matter what.

Jamie:
This is pure dumb luck, if it works, that's why I wanted Adam on it.

Kari:
[to Adam] Anytime you show up I'm scared.

Kari:
[to Adam] Your way of working is one of the great mysteries of our time.

Kari:
This is MythBusters - of course I'm expecting problems.

Scottie:
[to Kari, about Tory] Let's egg him on until he hurts himself. That's always fun.

[She and Kari encourage him to jump over a wagon on his bicycle; he tries, but fails spectacularly.]

Scottie:
[to Tory, laughing] Why do I always laugh when you get hurt?

[Scottie removes the driveshaft from the car and presents it to Jamie.]

Scottie:
For you-one nice, greasy part: guaranteed to get your shirt dirty.

Scottie:
[sniffs] Smell that?

Kari:
What's that?

Scottie:
Baaad things.

Adam:
MythBusters took another car out of its misery.

Kari:
I have to say the jackhammer makes you look really tough, the little red wagon...

Tory, Adam and Jamie in unison:
Not so much

Scottie:
Maybe it's a myth that methane is flammable.

Adam:
It's not a myth; we're just idiots.

Kari:
I guess we don't have a Plan B because we kinda expected Plan A to go off without a hitch.

Adam:
You should never, ever, ever expect Plan A to go off without a hitch. Usually, Jamie and I, it's Plan D.

Adam:
This is the point of in day, which we come to many times, when we start to go, "What else do we have that's flammable in the truck?"

Tory:
(mimicking Adam; puts ear up to the hose) I hear it!"

Kari:
[Holding toy car.] I got my first kiss over one of these. Then he punched me.

Adam:
It's the newest kid thing. It's Brick Car! It's faster than anything and uglier than anything, too.

Jamie:
And if you throw it at your brother really hard, it'll kill him!

Adam:
Shall we race?

Jamie:
Yeah, whatever.

Adam:
'Cause whoever wins this race is BETTER!

Adam:
It looks like it was built for one thing: it was built for super speed!

Jamie:
I think it looks like it was built for killing children. ...And what's all that crap on the back of it?

Adam:
That's the rocket engine, man! That's the solid... rocket... fuel... boos...ter...thing!

Adam:
Please note the Hyneman doing his careful straightening work. Jamie's people have been track-straighteners since the Middle Ages.

Kari:
Y'know, my toast, my toast ALWAYS lands butter side up!

Tory:
I'm building the Ark of the Covenant. Well, a replica.

[Just after Tory tests the electric fence through their contraption.]

Kari:
On a scale of 1 to 10, what was the electrocution pain on that one?

Tory:
Uh, I would say 211.

[Just after Scottie is shocked.]

Scottie:
Ho-leee!!!! I feel like I just got punched in the chest!

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
What he [Adam] doesn't know is they might have replaced the ancient batteries with an electric fence transformer...which would be the dirtiest trick in MythBusting history.

[Kari and Tory have hooked an electric fence generator into something Adam's going to be touching without his knowledge.]

Adam:
Now, you guys haven't hooked in the electric fence thing in here, have you?

Kari, Tory, and Scottie:
Hahahahaha, no!

Adam:
: OW! *bleep bleep*

[Just after Adam is shocked.]

Kari:
Did you feel God?

Adam:
Science, plus beer, equals good!

[A civil war recreationalist has just shot a bullet straight into a small cloth pouch over 50 feet away.]

Adam:
Bloody hell, I think he did it…

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
And in the pouch, well, let's just say a sample of genetic legacy has been obtained and dyed blue for easier visibility.

Jamie:
Genetic legacy? IT'S SPERM! Any kid in grade school knows that! Helps make babies, you know?

[Adam is on his knees behaving like a stereotypical mad scientist's hunchbacked assistant - and speaking like it]

Adam:
What are your plans, my master?

Jamie:
We are going to take over the world.

Adam:
Ohhh, yeeesss.

(Introducing the first attempt at breaking glass while Dr. Roger Schwenke of Meyer Sound paces, seemingly looking for something)

Adam:
So, this is "MythBusters" wine glass breaking test number one, simply playing a tone through the speaker to the glass. That's it.

Dr. Roger Schwenke:
I'm really sorry. I need to actually plug that speaker into something.

Adam:
Oh, details, details.

Adam:
The best-case scenario is that the glass shatters in my face! How do you think that makes me feel?

Jamie:
Jaime, what am I doing wrong?

Jaime Vendera:
You have got to shave your moustache!

(While Tory is constructing a Jet engine with vacuum parts):

Tory:
Yeah...there's probably a bunch of engineers looking at me and going "What the hell is he doing here?!" And, ah...I've been asking myself that as well on a moment-by-moment basis...

Adam:
I love aluminum... aluminum, I love you [smooches aluminium part].

Jamie:
We're either gonna die, or we're gonna fly.

Adam:
The problem with making two, is that once you've done one...you're only halfway there!

Adam:
Damn this is a sexy machine!

Adam:
Can we not do any more of these "oogie-boogie" myths, please?

[After Tory has returned from shaving with numerous cuts on his face]

Tory:
[to Kari] Baby give us a kiss. You don't find me hot, like this?

Kari:
You look like hell!

Kari:
I promised my mom I wouldn't do anything dumb and unsafe again.

Tory:
Looks like you didn't keep your promise.

later, after the test:

Kari:
I just want to say I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.

[Kari dresses a dummy with a bra]

Jamie:
Did she come with a bra?

Kari:
We want it to be decent, this is a family show.

Jamie:
Where did you get the bra? Did you give her yours?

Kari:
No!

Kari:
Once again, I'm going to humiliate myself in front of a very large audience.

Tory:
[After breaking a swing set and falling to the ground.] I'm so glad we had the mats!

Kari:
Busted, but the rockets were spectacular.

Adam:
Well, hopefully, that's our job... to strap rockets onto everything!

Jamie:
Sounds like a good way to break your neck.

Jamie:
Yet another everyday household item turned deadly.

Adam:
Well, that ought to silence most of our detractors on this one... but I expect we'll still get some complaints.

Jamie:
Yeah, like you didn't use a cannon, or something...

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Jamie's picked up enough ammunition to start a military coup.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
They have more guns here than in a Tarantino movie.

[Adam and Jamie are comparing the sizes of the .30-06 and .50 caliber bullets.]

Adam:
(points to the .30-06 bullet) This kills you (points to the .50 bullet) this kills you and everyone else in the room.

[Jamie prepares to fire the monster .50BMG into the pool.]

Adam:
We should all get ready to break down and pack up... hopefully we'll be out of here before the pool completely drains!

Jamie:
The worst case scenario today is someone dies from a bullet wound.

[Jamie is looking at a .50BMG round.]

Jamie:
It's smaller than my head... it's all right.

[After Jamie fires a shotgun into a water tank, breaks the tank with the shot, and almost creates an electrocution risk in the workshop.]

Jamie:
Well, it looks like we're not gonna be shooting any more guns off in the shop.

Adam:
Ah, the hazards of giant slingshot-making...

Adam:
Shockingly [holds up an improvised sling they had just used] That didn't work! I-I can't imagine why...

Adam:
[holding up a bowling ball] Now this may look like one of the lost Seeing Stones from The Lord of the Rings, but it's actually an eight-pound bowling ball. What we're going to do is head out to some unsuspecting football field, rig up our unreasonably large slingshot to the goal posts, and probably embed this bowling ball somewhere in the next town.

[looking up at the completed border slingshot]

Adam:
I think what we've got here is a thing.

Jamie:
Looks like a big-a** slingshot to me.

Jamie:
This is gonna kill you!

Jamie:
Unfortunately, humans are big heavy things.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
The Boom-Lift Catapult tossed him a respectable 90 feet... if you include the 60 feet of boom. In Raccoon Rocket, 10 lbs. of black powder blasted him 80 feet. And in the myth of the Ming Dynasty Astronaut... well, he just got burnt to a cinder. Come to think of it, Buster could do with a launch break.

[Adam picks up the arm of Simulaide Suzy, broken off when hitting the tarmac]

Adam:
Here, let me give you a hand.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
And while Jamie is hard at work rigging up the rig, Adam is busy fulfilling the "fooling-around" clause in his contract.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
The kid's a goner - but how's the slingshot?

[After Jamie tosses Simulaide Suzy into the slingshot yoke.]

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
When it comes to handling children, Jamie's old school.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
With an array of test-firings planned, Adam paints the projectile to guard against lead poisoning. Because - that's bad.

[The team has tested the effect of a 45 MPH crash with an unsecured hatchet in the back of a car.]

Adam:
This is your head. [thumps box of ballistic gel with axe through it] This is your head with an axe in it! Are we clear?

Jamie:
I'm sure that there is a speed where a bobble-head could be lethal, but I don't think 45 mph is that speed.

Adam:
So clearly the second spike was Buster twisting to get out of the way of the deadly tissue box!

Adam:
That the tissue box is the only thing in the car that's completely undamaged might just prove the myth!

Grant:
Well, I like danger.

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
With the hard work done... Adam arrives.

Adam:
We're not leaving here without Buster, man. Leave no crash-test dummy behind!

[Shortly after Buster hits the ground from 400 feet.]

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Small crash-test dummies, friends and family of Buster may find the following pictures disturbing.

Adam:
[seeing Buster's remains] Oh no! Oh, my God! Oh, crime-iny!

Rob Lee:
"Criminy"? So shocked he makes up a new word.

Adam:
I think I'm calling the local fire department and seeing if they have any Simulaids.

[The escape slide is about to hit the ground at a survivable speed after being dropped from 2,000 feet and lands.]

Adam:
[running to the landed escape slide] Wowwwww!

[Kari, Tory, and Grant are borrowing Adam and Jamie's jet pack to retest a myth.]

Kari:
If there is one scratch, one out of place bolt on this jet pack, Jamie and Adam will lock us in a closet for the rest of the season.

[Jamie has just suggested getting an RPG to blow up a car.]

Adam:
That's the next revisit; someone's gonna write in and say, "you guys should have used an RPG, 'cause that would definitely have blown up the car!" and then we'll go get one of those, and then we'll blow up the car, and then there will be some other problem.

Jamie:
And we're fine with that!

Adam:
I love having bacteriological... test stuff!

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Adam's as happy as a kid with a new chemistry set. Come to think of it, Adam is a kid with a new chemistry set.

Jamie:
It's a shop... whaddya want?

Adam:
I wanna be able to eat off the damn floor.

[Adam drops and then picks up a sandwich.]

Adam:
Whoops! I picked it up within 3 seconds... would you eat it?

Jamie:
I wouldn't eat it just because you handled it.

Adam:
So, no french-kissing dogs I think is our conclusion here.

Jamie:
I would be more inclined to say, no french-kissing Adam!

Adam:
I don't eat my own poo!

[Adam is playing with aluminum pans]

Adam:
For some reason...I have the desire to smash them on my head.

[Jamie has explained their use of 'beef broth' to simulate a dirty floor, but stumbled over the words.]

Adam:
Bleef bloth? Wlhat bleef bloth? Thlis bleef bloth?

Tory:
So, Jamie? If we, uh, find gold, are you gonna share it with me?

[Grant and Kari are making a drum.]

Kari:
Y'know my people come from a long line of goat shavers, so I feel it's in my blood.

Grant:
Apologies to everyone who actually makes their own drums... we have no idea what we're doing.

Rob Lee:
While the Boxer makes progress, the Hale is out for the count-because Jamie's made an error of schoolboy proportions, and, to avoid public humiliation...

Jamie:
You know, if I don't talk, you don't get any good TV.

Rob Lee:
...he's run away from the cameraman.

Adam [of Jamie's welding slip-up]:
What happened?

Jamie:
...Nothing.

Rob Lee:
'De Nile (denial) is a river in Africa.

Adam:
C'mon, what happened? Did you accidentally weld the thing at the end of your pipe that was supposed to be a screw fitting?

Rob Lee:
Overzealous welding has sealed his rocket shut - and he's not happy.

Jamie:
[censored]

Adam:
I've got a Boxer rocket, and I'm gonna fire it!

Jamie:
I don't know, but I think that's one of the rockets, and, judging by the size of the hole, I - I think it's mine.

[He gestures toward a large hole in the dirt.]

Jamie:
I don't know, I'll see if I can feel the end of it…

[He reaches a full arm's length in the hole.]

Jamie:
[giggling] I'm still not touching anything!

Crew member:
Uh-oh, backhoe time!

Adam:
This is where the danger zone happens. When nothing happens for a while, everyone's like "well, let's get closer... let's get closer... let's get closer..." and BOOM! everyone's dead.

[Adam and Jamie have just test-fired a rocket inside the workshop. The most obvious result is a lot of smoke.]

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
We clearly have ignition... but what the hell's going on in there?

[Inside, there is lots of smoke and several small fires.]

Rob Lee:
Not so much "fire in the hole" as fire in the whole shop!

Adam:
Hey, that WORKED!!

[Kari mixes two ingredients to gun cotton, with the ingredients replaced by a donkey bray and a rooster cackle respectively (to conceal just what those ingredients are)].

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
So when you add "donkey" to "rooster", you got a violent reaction.

Kari:
A lot of things would have to go right for that plan to work...

[Following a near-disaster with a semi]

Adam:
What was your plan for stopping these things?

Tory:
Well, there wasn't really a plan...

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
We've got ourselves a runaway (semi). Uhhh... Run away!

Adam:
I'm a little sad because it didn't go exactly as planned. We may have to revisit this one - but WOW!!! (They did revisit it several seasons later)

Kari:
Did you actually think we were going to confirm this one?

Adam:
This myth, much like the two trucks, and the car, is totally busted.

Jamie:
Boy, is it busted!

Jamie:
Let me see that pulley there...

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
The biggest crash in MythBusters history, and he wants to see the pulley??

Adam:
Some nice toggles! I'm saving those!

Grant:
Dude, you're salvaging in the middle of a rescue operation?!

Adam:
Why else do you think I got into this line of work?

[The tow rope has snapped, and a semi truck is now off course and out of control]

Tory:
How do we stop this thing?

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
That's a very good question... with no answer.

Adam:
[commenting on their first test] I hope you enjoyed that little sequence of failure.

[After Grant smells Adam's feet]

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
It's not foot odor, it's foot "oh, dear!"

Adam:
There is no dignity in television.

Kari:
And this is the 'plastic bottle brand' vodka... [whispering] always the finest for MythBusters!

[Adam is eating crackers with limburger cheese on them.]

Kari:
You know, my eyes are watering being in the vincinity of these three items. I think I need an official umm... Tester. So while you continue chewing. [Adam nods] Grant Imahara, I need your nose!

Rob Lee (US Narrator):
Dead man walking...

[Kari is washing Adam's feet with Vodka.]

Grant:
Would this be considered a perk of your Mythbusters experience?

Kari:
Are you talking to me or him?

Adam:
I have to say, I think there are going to be a lot of jealous fans out there that I'm getting my feet washed by you, Kari.

Grant:
Now you know you've made it.

Tory:
See? Science IS fun.

[Kari is suspended from a engine hoist to test the strength of the harness she is wearing.]

Tory:
What...the...hell are you guys doing?

Kari:
(giggling) I'm a piñata!

Tory:
Kari's too nervous, no more jokin'. Let's grim up.

Grant:
I'm pumping as fast as I can!

[A water cooler bottle rocket carrying a 2kg weight launches surprisingly high into the air.]

Grant:
Holy crap... run!

Adam:
I don't know about you, but that looks like some pretty crushed toes to me.

Adam:
(on Jamie) He will ride in that chair, he will swallow his vomit...

Kari:
(when Jamie won't yield to seasickness) He's just a little too amused with this; it's starting to piss me off.

Tory:
(in the seasick chair) This is fun! I could do this all day!

Adam:
(on the wrist-strap seasickness cure) It may work for Barry Manilow, but it don't work for crap for me.