Alias, Season 5

Sydney:
Dad. Vaughn and I - we're having a baby.

Sydney:
I want the truth. Start with your name.

Vaughn:
Andre Michaux. I'll tell you the rest on the way.

Sydney:
You're waltzing!

Vaughn:
Yup. I've been practicing for our wedding.

Sydney:
With whom?

Vaughn:
Weiss.

Sydney:
I always liked the name Owen.

Vaughn:
Owen. Sounds like something you name a gerbil.

Sydney:
Clementine is cute.

Vaughn:
For a fruit.

Sydney:
It's also a name.

Vaughn:
It's also a campfire song.

Sydney:
Okay, you don't like that one. How about Isabelle?

Vaughn:
Isabelle Vaughn. Isabelle Bristow Vaughn.

Sydney:
That's pretty. I like that.

Vaughn:
Me too.

Marshall:
He's not gonna find Sydney and Vaughn, not from what I gave him. I encrypted Vaughn's files, 4096-bit - it'll take him years. I mean, he's an ass. Deal with it.

Renee:
You're gonna want to step aside now.

Guard:
Sexy. So I'm being threatened by a waif and a pregnant chick.

[Renee punches him and shoves him against the door.]

Renee:
Is it sexy now?

Sydney:
I understand why you're reluctant. You're number eight on the CIA's most wanted list, I get it. But you have to understand: these people killed my fiancé, the father of my child. I'm going to enlist every resource available to immobilize them, and if that means that this is the last time you and I see each other, that is fine by me. Just tell me how you want to do it.

Renee:
Number eight?

Sydney:
Yes.

Renee:
I'm slipping. Used to be number six... You're exactly like Michael said you were.

Sydney:
You called him "Michael."

Renee:
Yeah.

[She turns to leave.]

Renee:
Don't worry. He was crazy about you.

Curtis:
No deal. I'm not talking. [He looks at Sydney's belly.] Sorry, baby. Daddy just went snooping where he shouldn't have gone.

Sydney:
Do you recognize me?

Curtis:
No.

Sydney:
Four months ago, you murdered a man, Michael Vaughn. Do you remember? I do. I was there. It'll be burned into my memory for the rest of my life as the day my child lost its father... So you can imagine what I'd like to do to you. Lucky for you, there's someone I want even more. Tell me where I can find Gordon Dean.

Curtis:
Is this whole routine supposed to scare me? I-I do this for a living.

Sydney:
It's a funny thing about pregnancy - hormones. Whoo. I woke up today... [she gives Curtis a dark, threatening look] ...feeling pretty hormonal.

Marshall:
Take a look right there. See? That - those vials? That's a nerve agent called Substance 33; it was developed by the Russians during the Cold War - remarkable stuff. You know, in an... end of... civilization... sort of way.

Sydney:
You're scared. You should be. No one is coming to rescue you.

Rachel:
I am an operative for the U.S. Government, so unless you want to start a war with the CIA, I would suggest-

Sydney:
Here's your next problem, Rachel: we're CIA.

Rachel:
Well, then this must be some ... big misunderstanding. If you're CIA, we're on the same side.

Sydney:
[to Grace] Call Langley and verify her story.

Rachel:
You can't. We're off-book, black ops. Langley won't verify us.

Sydney:
Well, that's convenient.

Sydney:
[to Rachel] I want to tell you a story. Just stop me if I get something wrong. You were approached in college, someplace public - the quad or walking to class. A man asked you if you wanted to serve your country. When he told you it was for the CIA, you just, you couldn't believe it. But you took the tests, and they were easy for you; they made you feel good about yourself. You probably started work at a false front, some phantom company that had you doing entry-level analysis... Maybe you wondered why you were never sent to Langley. Maybe you wondered why you weren't being trained with other recruits. Then you got promoted.

Sydney:
Dean took you under his wing. He convinced you that you were so important, you just had to be out there, helping him save the world. How am I doing?

Rachel:
You read my file.

Sydney:
No, I didn't. Thirteen years ago, the same thing happened to me. Only I had been lied to. What I was told was the CIA was in reality a criminal organization. I think you've been told the same lie.

Tom:
They're ready for us. We got to go.

Rachel:
Do you want to come over here and do the advanced binomial calculus? Because I'd be more than happy to stand there and watch.

Tom [to Syd, on comms]:
Sidewinder's gonna need a little more time.

Rachel:
How can you people sleep after something like this?

Sydney:
You just learn to take it where you can get it, I guess.

Jack:
You seem to be enjoying your freedom.

Sloane:
I was hoping to offer you more than prison food.

Jack:
I must confess I'd grown rather fond of the shepherd's pie... I'm assuming you didn't bring me here simply for the cuisine.

Tom:
You okay?

Rachel:
If by "okay" you mean "freaked and embarrassed," then yeah, I'm great.

Peyton:
You should've given me the disk!

Rachel:
You were gonna kill me anyway.

Peyton:
Yeah... but I woulda felt bad about it. Now it's gonna be fun.

Sydney:
He suspects it's an access key for a secure network.

Rachel:
So, we just have to find out which network. Well, luckily there are only ten billion secure networks in the world.

[Rachel has just knocked down Gordon Dean]

Sydney [on comms]:
What's he doing?

Rachel:
Eating dirt. I just hit him with a shovel.

Sydney:
A shovel? Is he conscious?

Rachel:
Yeah, I think so.

Sydney:
Then hit him again.

Ehrmann:
There are a few more things we need you to do for us.

Sloane:
We have a deal.

Ehrmann:
No. We have an arrangement, which you don't seem to understand very well.

Sloane:
You son of a bitch.

Ehrmann:
I'll be in touch. Til then, I want you to remember one thing: you have something now that you didn't have this morning.

Sloane:
What's that?

Ehrmann:
Hope.

Elizabeth:
What you're asking me to do - to investigate my own agency - that's treason.

Jack:
What's a little treason among old friends?

Marshall:
Sounds awesome!

[Jack and the others look at him.]

Marshall:
Well, Brazil. Isn't that, you know, the place where they have the, um, string... what are they called, not bikinis but, um--

Jack:
Thongs.

Marshall:
Yes.

[Rachel stops as she's about to cut another wire.]

Rachel:
[to Sark] Just so we're clear: you approached me. You were the one that was stupid enough to let me into your room, and afterwards, you were the one that wanted to cuddle.

Jack:
You should know, when it comes to Vaughn ... I take it quite personally.

Sydney:
I know, Dad.

Jack:
We're going to fix this.

Dr. Desantis:
So this is how you do it. Bring in a man in a suit to scare me into talking.

Jack:
You're right. The suit shouldn't scare you. What should scare you ... is that I'm a very concerned father.

Dr. Desantis:
You can't do anything to me now. I'm quite prepared to die.

[Jack gives Renee the gun.]

Jack:
See if he means it.

[while Sydney is under hypnosis]

Sydney:
Wait a minute; don't tell me you cook.

Vaughn:
There are a lot of things about me you don't know.

Sydney:
Do you clean, too?

Vaughn:
I've been known to. Why? Are you thinking of hiring me?

Sydney:
Why would I hire you when I got you for free?

Peyton:
You tracked me with the radio.

Sydney:
Not really. You're just predictable.

Devlin:
How's life underground treating you?

Jack:
Good. Always ... full of surprises.

Sydney:
I can fend for myself.

Dixon:
But you're not just fending for yourself, you're fending for two. [Glances at Syd] Let's be honest Syd, right now you waddle.

Sydney:
I don't waddle.

Dixon:
Oh ho ho, yes you do.

Sydney:
I'll admit I may be a little less graceful, but I don't waddle.

Dixon:
You're right, [Syd scoffs] actually it's more of a teeter.

Irina:
You should know something, Sydney. I never wanted to have a child. The KGB demanded it. They knew it would insure your father's allegiance to me. You were simply a means to an end. And then, when the doctor put you in my arms and I looked at you, so fragile, all I could think was: how could I have made such a terrible mistake. And at that moment I was sure of one thing: I couldn't be an agent and a mother. I'd either fail at one or both. And I chose to fail at being a mother.

Irina:
If Peyton's here, then she's here to kill me too.

Jack:
Then she'll be very disappointed because I'm about to beat her to it.

Irina:
We're going to be grandparents.

Jack:
I'm trying to ignore that fact.

Jack:
You do not leave edged weapons within the reach of children.

Sydney:
She's four weeks old, Dad.

Jack:
Particularly young Bristow women.

Sydney:
She can't even hold her head up. I think we're safe.

Rance:
[to Sydney] With your permission, Ma'am, we'd like to go through the house, baby-proof it from top to bottom. Socket protectors, safety latches, gates on stairs. Spread-spectrum RF protectors, perimeter sensors, explosive sniffers. All the usual stuff.

Sydney:
Hopefully she won't even know I've been gone.

Rance:
Oh, no. The mother-child bond is impossible to replicate, even by Agent Dalton and myself.

Sydney:
We were talking about what happened. We have to assume you were grabbed because someone was trying to hurt me.

Will:
Well, yeah. I didn't think they wanted me for all the Lakers statistics I have in my head.

Marshall:
It's a subdermal device, placed just below the skull at the brain stem. I've never seen one this small before. Looks like they patched a radio receiver to a powerful microcharge.

[Sydney, Jack and Sloane exchange worried looks.]

Will:
So what - what does that mean?

Marshall:
It means that they - they put a bomb in your head.

Will:
What?!

Marshall:
I know, I know. But there's ... good news. Looks like the charge is small enough that the blast will be localized.

Will:
Wait - wait. So it might not kill me?

Marshall:
No, it'll definitely kill you. There just won't be any collateral damage.

Nadia:
[referring to Rambaldi's Page 47] You have to make a choice, either me or this.

Sloane:
Please, don't make me choose between the two most important things in my life.

Nadia:
I suppose then you'll lose us both. [Throws the page into the fireplace.]

Sloane:
A few days ago I was absolutely horrified that you would suggest I would turn against APO. That I would kill my own daughter. I realize now that both were inevitable. That death is a necessary sacrifice. Necessary to complete the final leg of this journey. I have been preparing for this my whole life. I knew it was coming. I have betrayed everyone I ever loved. But I was chosen.

Jack:
What I am about to say is not to leave this room. Agent Vaughn is alive.

Marshall:
I knew it! I knew he couldn't be dead...!

Marshall:
You know, I cried at your funeral.

Vaughn:
Um, yeah, uh ... sorry about that.

Marshall:
No, no. Thank you. I need a good cry every now and again.

Sydney:
Where are you?

Jack:
Right now? In your kitchen, playing with Isabelle.

Sydney:
You are? How is she?

Jack:
Happy.

[Isabel coos.]

Sydney:
Dad, did she just -

Jack:
- giggle? Yeah. Apparently I'm funny.

Vaughn:
[to Isabelle] Gonna be just like your mom, aren't you?

Sydney:
Oh, I hope not. I hope she's a ... doctor, or a teacher, or just anything that does not involve wearing a wig.

Vaughn:
I don't know... I think she'd look pretty cute in a little pink wig. [Isabelle rolls over] Maybe not.

[...]

Vaughn:
[Isabelle starts to snore. Vaughn laughs.] Oh my god. All right, the snoring, it kills me.

Sark:
Does it have to be so filthy? If Rambaldi can prophesy the future, he might have advised me not to wear five hundred dollar shoes.

Jack:
Yes, you can. I-I never wanted this life for you. I never wanted you to bear this kind of responsibility, but ... you were a very difficult little girl. You-you were far too driven, far too strong to let someone like me stop you from becoming who you are.

Sydney:
Dad. The medical team is coming. So if you'll just sit tight...

Jack:
Sydney, listen to me. There's no one in this world that can do the things that you can do. I can hold out until help arrives, but you have to go. You have to stop your mother.

Sydney:
Ok. I'll um just ok. Just keep applying pressure because you can't afford to lose more blood.

Jack:
Just get moving.

Sydney:
I love you Dad. And I don't want to leave you here.

Jack:
I love you Sydney. Go.

Jack:
You beat death, Arvin... but you couldn't beat me.

Sark:
Ah! You shot me!

Vaughn:
Yeah and I'll keep shooting you until you either give me the codes or bleed to death. Your choice.

Dixon:
This job has ... sentimental value.

[Dixon opens the folder to show a picture of the bad guy.]

Vaughn:
Sark.

Sydney:
Don't look at me; you're the one that let him go.

Dixon:
We've already prepared the mission specs. Low-risk insertion. Simple alias. Who knows. Could be fun.

Sydney:
That's what you say every time you show up on my doorstep. And the next thing you know, I'm jumping over canals in three-inch heels while Napalm explodes around me.

Dixon:
Yes. That's how I define "fun."