Pretty Little Liars, Season 3

Spencer:
Melissa is a Hastings, we bounce back like super balls.

Garrett:
You're not safe Spencer, and your friends aren't either. It's not over.

Aria:
That "Girl Interrupted" thing could just be an act to keep her out of jail.

Hanna [about Lucas]:
It's no coincidence that he turned dark after the masquerade ball.

Spencer [to Toby]:
Okay I know it was my idea to wait, but right now I'm just completely forgetting why.

Hanna [to Mona]:
I wanna know what I did to make you hate me so much!!!!!

Ezra:
You're still safe Aria. There's no more A.

Hanna:
If I never see another shovel again it'll be too soon.

Emily:
You got an internship at Vera Wang?

Hanna:
Yeah but I changed my mind, it turns out they want you to work for free.

Hanna:
You know what Mona? If I had told the police that you mowed me down with your car, you would not be here getting a piece of peach pie everyday to wash down your meds. You'd be sharing a jail cell with someone calling you peach pie while you braid her back hair!

Spencer [about Jenna]:
She doesn't know we know!

Hanna:
I'm having ambiguous loss!

Spencer:
Are you ready to explain every lie we've ever told since Ali died?

Aria:
It wasn't enough to steal her bones, now we're gonna get pieces of her delivered to us?

Hanna [to Mona]:
I didn't come here to play beauty shop!

Aria [to Emily]:
When we picked you up, you kept calling me Arlene.

Aria:
I'm ready to hang a sign, bitch can see!

Garrett:
Somebody you know well has you completely fooled. People lie, but medical records don't.

Emily:
I'm really tired of everyone treating me like I'm made out of glass.

Hanna:
God, you're so twisted.

Jenna:
I wonder how I got that way.

Hanna [to Jenna]:
Wow Jenna, what a sight for sore eyes.

Mona:
So tell me, did they ever find what was left of Alison?

Hanna [to Mona]:
We thought you being in here was the end of it, but it's not. And you know that. The question is, how do you know?

Emily:
I am way more angry than I am scared now.

Aria:
Can I borrow some of that?

Spencer:
Mom what are you doing? This is the man who killed in my best friend. He killed the girl Emily was in love with.

Emily:
You're not paranoid if someone's really out to get you.

Caleb:
The last word a guy wants a girl to describe him with is sweet.

Hanna:
Fine, now he's a sour patch kid.

Spencer:
Hanna, you have all the subtlety of a hand grenade.

Hanna:
Thank you!

Hanna:
You're open to date but you're not open for business.

Caleb:
I feel like I only exist in half of your life, and that's not good enough for me.

Hanna:
Right, roger that.

Aria:
Roger that?

Hanna:
What? We're on a mission.

Hanna:
You know what they say: if the feather fits.

Aria:
Hanna, it's the shoe, if the shoe fits.

Hanna:
Why are you looking at pictures of bald fat men?

Aria:
I'm looking for a guy for my mom. I don't know I just thought that she could try online dating.

Hanna:
She's divorced, not desperate.

Spencer (on Garrett):
So he's finally chosen some flowers, which are hideous and tacky and mostly carnations, but there's not really much selection around here, so...

Paige:
I'm not drunk. I'm hungry and your cupcakes taste like old pennies.

Hanna:
That bra over there kinda put me off my feed.

Spencer (on Jenna):
How can you miss her? She's been gliding around school all day like a Thanksgiving float.

Ashley:
Do you have plans tomorrow?

Hanna:
Uh, yeah. I'm going to listen to every sad song I've ever downloaded on repeat.

Spencer:
He's your boyfriend, Aria. He's not a baby squirrel.

Aria:
I was just trying to do the right thing.

Spencer:
Totally wrong. Look, I've been there, I've done that. Every time you baby squirrel Ezra, you're taking away his nuts.

Aria:
You did not just say that.

Spencer:
With Ali, I keep peeling, I just always seem to find new layers.

Spencer:
Just be careful and wear sensible shoes.

Hanna:
I wear three inches or I wear nothing.

Aria:
I was just trying to remember how much reward money Jason offered

Spencer:
50,000 dollars. Why?

Aria:
And that was in cash right?

Spencer:
Yeah.

Aria:
Did he just have all that money lying around his house?

Spencer:
Well I doubt it.

Aria:
But if someone did, would it be weird?

Spencer:
If you had that much money lying around you'd probably also have a bomb shelter. And like five years worth of dehydrated meat... Or you're a criminal.

Spencer:
Hanna, will you slow down? I almost tripped over a catheter back there that was still attached to someone.

CeCe:
It's not like we a shot a unicorn; we're helping your friend out.

Emily:
What are you doing? She used to be blind.

Aria:
Hanna, friends don't let friends sneak into insane asylums alone.

Ella(to Aria):
Wait, why am I asking you? You wear forks as earrings.

Hanna:
What's up with your mom?

Aria:
She's a slut, let's just go to sleep.

Mona:
I missed my dolls.

Aria:
You gave tweezers to a mental patient?

Aria:
What should I wear? I have to look insanely sophisticated for this.

Emily:
How about a "Hello Kitty" t-shirt?

Ezra (on Aria):
She was talking to you the last time I saw her.

Ezra's Mother:
Maybe it's past her bedtime.

Caleb:
So I should probably wash it on gentle.

Spencer:
No, you should dry clean it. If you wash this, you will end up with a sweater for a shih-tzu.

Emily (on Maya):
Guess I don't know her as well as thought I did.

Caleb:
For the record, I am going to help you stop A, and I'm not asking for your permission.

Spencer:
These are my most collegiate-looking blazers.

Aria:
Kind of lying here despondently right now, Spence.

Spencer:
Well, can you just sit despondently? I need the bed.

Aria:
No, lying is more despondent.

Aria:
I think you're confusing which Scooby Doo character would have gotten into an Ivy League.

Aria:
Why are you not all "go-go gadget" about this? This is big!

Emily:
Lying to Toby is like lying to the Dalai Lama.

Spencer:
B is for bad.

Aria (to Ezra):
Are we still fighting without actually fighting?

Hanna:
I don't think she was gutting fish

Hanna:
Um, Nate, she's gay. She dated your cousin.

Ezra:
How do you guys feel about Supertramp?

Aria and Wesley:
Who?

Ezra:
That's what I thought.

Spencer:
Don't think that was a love dunk.

Spencer:
I don't remember you in Mama Mia.

Hanna:
Good because I looked fat and hideous, and I had to stand next to a cardboard goat.

Alison:
Think again Pigskin. I own you now !

Hanna:
Paige wasn't in Spanish today. Yo hablo sicko.

Hanna:
Things just went from worse to worser.

Aria:
I really feel like I'm about to rattle the cage of a sleeping giant.

Emily:
Three against one, A wins.

Spencer:
Uh, drugging yourself is the best alibi ever. Classic Sharon Stone movie.

Hanna:
You kiss pretty good for a man without his spleen.

Aria:
Playing dress up for your man on Halloween is one thing. You do it any other night, you end up on an afternoon talk show.

Spencer:
You make it so hard to be a modern post-feminist when you get so alpha male.

Toby:
Why, you want me to stop ?

Spencer:
No.

Ezra (to Aria):
You'll be fine, just change your shoes.

Hanna:
What'd you do with the basket?

Aria:
I trashed it. Why did you want the jelly beans?

Spencer(on Mona and Jason):
Okay, he's basically hugging a hand grenade.

Hanna:
Face it, Caleb. We were never "under the radar."

Meredith:
You are in this class to discuss American history, not mine, got it?

Aria:
Well, I'll tell you what, she sneaks in my house past midnight, I'm sleeping with a crowbar under my pillow.

Toby:
You know I could come with you, and I could rub your shoulders between rounds and wrap your knuckles and hold your spit bucket.

Spencer:
If she's going to dip back into the A-bag to scare me off the decathlon team, she's got another thing coming.

Hanna:
Is being captain brainiac really that important?

Andrew Campbell:
Put on your Hastings face and spank her tomorrow night like I know you can.

Hanna:
I have enough daddy-issues of my own. I can't deal with having issues about hers too.

Hanna:
I have to borrow Emily for some girl talk. Not girl on girl talk, just girl talk.

Mona:
Fear cuts deeper than a sword.

Mona:
That bitch can keep a secret. I respect that.

Spencer:
Is this what you're looking for?

Toby:
Spencer. How long have you known?

Spencer's mom:
Spencer? Hi, honey. Is everything okay? Honey what is it?

Spencer:
Mommy!

Spencer:
Is she threatening to cut your face off?

Emily:
Or throw acid at her.

Hanna:
You guys, come on.

Spencer:
I know you're in there. Will you... Will you just tell me that what I saw tonight wasn't real? Please! Just tell me that there's more to this story That there's something that I don't know. Please. Please, Toby Please, Toby.

Hanna:
I always hated biology. I mean who cares how a cell divides, it just does.

Aria:
I wake up every morning with the intention of telling him, and then I go to sleep every night feeling guilty that I didn't.

Hanna:
At least you have your afternoons free.

Hanna(to Aria):
Wow, that's like the world's fattest man giving dieting tips.

Ashley:
Has Caleb been tangling with Mona?

Hanna:
Tangling? I don't even know what that means.

Spencer:
Is she "Saint Ali" now? Are her bones holy relics or something?

Aria(to Spencer):
We're your friends; we're not your punching bags.

Wes:
I once killed a cactus. I thought the only way you could do that was with a gun.

Emily:
Sometimes things look bad, and they're really not. Sometimes there's another explanation for what's going on.

Spencer:
And what if that explanation is even worse?

Aria:
"Unable are the loved to die for love is immortality."

Hanna:
That's creepy.

Aria:
It's Emily Dickinson.

Hanna:
I don't care if it's Santa Claus, considered me creeped.

Spencer:
Did you ever play the game with the flowers when you were little, he loves me, he loves me not ? He loves me, he loves me not... The trick is, you just find a flower with the odd number of petals.

Mona:
And who's looking cray-cray now, Spencer?

Andrew:
Busy?

Spencer:
Yeah, I was just about to put out a new doormat that said, "Go away!"

Aria:
Our best friend is at home chewing her elbows and you're horse shopping?

Aria:
Pretty sure when you and Caleb broke up you locked yourself in your bedroom for two weeks and all you ate was Eskimo pies.

Hanna:
They were skinny cows, and it was four days.

Hanna:
I think we would know if Spencer was here. People would be running for cover.

Andrew:
Umm..hello.

Spencer:
Hi.

Andrew:
What are you doing here?

Spencer:
Oh Andrew. I didn't recognize you in clothes.

Emily:
You don't have a monopoly on pain, Spencer. Everybody has their fair share. Okay but we get through it because we have each other.

Aria:
Ezra's back, and so is Ms. Fitz-scary

Hanna:
Did you tell Paige that she almost got two Emilys for the price of one?

Hanna:
Seriously? You're looking for sympathy from the girl who's boyfriend took a bullet in the gut?

Emily:
George Washington has dreadlocks on like half my tips.

Hanna (on CeCe):
She's a one-woman rumor factory.

Emily (to Aria):
You're suppose to stop her from doing stupid things like this, not help.

Mona:
Looks like someone's been skipping their anger management class.

Spencer:
You need to stop thinking about Toby as the person that you thought you knew and start looking at him for who he really is.

Hanna:
You know, Emily, sometimes you poke the bear, and other times the bear pokes. *sigh* It's from a movie.

Eddie:
You're suppose to have amnesia.

Spencer:
Well, if I do I certainly don't remember it.

Aria:
It's not like New York is in some other country.

Hanna:
New York is on another planet.

Hanna:
There's a downside to being too smart.

Spencer:
Why do you even bother coming to church?

Ali:
I like to cover my bets.

Aria:
A's been turning the screws so long one of us was bound to snap a string.

Spencer:
I knew who I was when they found me. I knew that my family and friends would be worried. I just — I wanted to fold up and stop. I didn't want to think anymore.

Anne:
You were overwhelmed.

Spencer:
Yeah, well, I wasn't Spencer Hastings for almost a whole day and nobody else showed up to take the job, so, I guess I'm stuck with it.

Anne:
Because you're the only person in the world that can be you.

Spencer:
You don't have to rub it in. I'm sorry, this can't be very entertaining. There are people here with real problems.

Anne:
Just like you.

Spencer:
Yeah. Just like me. I...I fell down. In the woods. When I was running, I fell down and I looked at the ground and I saw my hand and my sleeve and the little button on my sleeve and some dirt and an old acorn, and I said to myself, "OK, if this is the last thing I ever see, I can handle that. I'm done. I've had enough." But it wasn't the last thing that I saw. I just kept going. How do you keep going when the worst thing has happened? What do you have to change inside to survive? Who do you have to become? I'm sorry. I don't expect you guys to understand. You don't know me. [From her point of view, she sees Emily, Aria and Hanna sitting across from her] I'm sorry, but that's true. You don't know who I am anymore. And you can't count on me.

Alison:
Oh honey, you didn't even know me when you knew me.

Emily:
Cars don't float. If they did, pilgrims would have driven here.

Hanna:
I smell dead people.

Hanna:
I would not dine here if were you. I had to sneak around in that kitchen, and I saw a roach big enough to wear an apron.

Hanna:
Shuffling around in Mona's old slippers isn't going to get her any better.

Spencer:
They don't make a loofah that scraps out the inside of your head.

Alison:
Girls fight much dirtier than boys.

Toby:
What we had was real.I've been pretending to work with Mona,so I can keep you safe. I need you to believe me.

Toby:
Everything I've done, was so I could protect you.

Spencer:
You gotta love the Hastings. I just get released from a mental hospital, and they welcome my friends with tea and crumpets.

Spencer:
You know how I feel about hope. It breeds eternal misery.

Spencer:
She wanted to break me so she could put me back together like her own Humpty-Dumpty.

Aria:
Spencer went in there at rock bottom and she came out like a shiny new penny.

Hanna:
Are you thinking shock treatment?