Archer, Season 6

[Pam has just spilled her urine on the floor of the elevator, with Ray laying on the floor, halfway out the door]

Ray:
Quickly, get it before it gets on me!

Lana:
With what? There's nothing to wipe it up with!

Archer:
Ah-ha! [Holds up Cyril's vest] Maybe it is good for something!

Cyril:
Are you crazy?! That's cashmere!

Archer:
Wha- [Hands Cyril back the vest] Oh my God, sorry!

Lana:
What, so it's non-absorbent?

Archer:
Lana, it's cashmere, there are rules.

Cyril:
[on guards advancing on the plane] Those guys look furious.

Archer:
Yeah, no shit! So thank you, Ray!

Ray:
For what, safely landing the plane?

Archer:
What, like that cancels out you getting it shot down in the first place?

Ray:
You were the one yapping your head off about my damn teacup pig!

Archer:
Who I hope to see on my next BLT!

Ray:
Well, too bad, beause... he went to live on a...

Archer:
A farm! Exactly! So unless that farm had a magical talking spider...

[Ray gasps in abject horror]

Pam:
Yeah, they don't keep 'em around for their milk.

Lana:
[After she and Archer had sex in the broom closet] Don't take this the wrong way but, did your dick get BIGGER?

Archer:
I don't think so. Is that a thing?

Lana:
I think I would've heard of it.

Mallory:
What in the name of sweet Jiminy Christ do you think you're doing?!

Krieger:
Standing up for myself! Because maybe I didn't go to some fancy-pantsy Ivy League med school, and maybe I didn't go to some other med school—even the one down in Grenada, which was my fallback, but whatever. That doesn't give you [points to med-team doctor] the right to bully me! I have had it! Oh, and by the way, if I was a clone of Adolf goddamn Hitler, wouldn't I look like Adolf goddamn Hitler?!

Mallory:
Huh. I never thought about that.