Army Wives, Season 1

Michael:
Claudia Joy Holden, after 43 years of marriage my heart still skips a beat every time I look at you.

Claudia Joy:
Michael James Holden, after 43 years of marriage I can't believe that tired old line of yours still works.

Trevor:
Roxy, you work two jobs right? And you got two kids from two different men. Now, I know I only met you four days ago, but I think you're my soulmate!

Pamela:
Sit next to the Anti-Christ, going to Hell by association.

Roxy:
Oh, I reckon I got you beat on the Hell front.

Pamela:
Last week I was a drug dealer. This week I'm carrying the chaplain's kids. You think you can top that?

Roxy:
I can try. My kids aren't my husband's. I was married to the first one's daddy till he sucker-punched me. The second one was just a friend who came over to "comfort" me one night. I've known Trevor, my husband, for all of 17 days now. How'd I do.

Pamela:
[smiles] I'm impressed.

Pamela:
[In labor] Vodka and a hammer! I need vodka and a hammer!!!

Pamela:
[Seeing the look on Roland's face as she gives birth] You having a good time?

Roland:
Let's just say childbirth is disgusting as it is miraculous.

[The first baby comes out and Denise hands him to Roland. Everyone looks at him.]

Roland:
[looks up to see everyone looking at him] It wasn't me.

Roxy:
Give me everything you've got baby doll or you're gonna be looking at me from the floor.

Pamela:
I know it's a lot, Roxy, but you gotta harden yourself. You gotta keep it together for your husband.

Roxy:
I'm trying. I guess I just thought marrying a soldier would be romantic. But instead, it's about worrying whether he's coming back.

Pamela:
Well, he can't go to war worrying about you. He could die from that kind of distraction.

Denise:
There's nothing wrong. I'm just taking a bath.

Frank:
Oh. Damn, I wish there was a webcam!

[Trevor is showing Lucas, TJ and Finn how to maintain a car]

Trevor:
Finn, you are on girl watch. No girls allowed, you understand?

Finn:
No girls! Yes sir!

[...]

[Roxy and Katie walk towards them]

Finn:
Here come girls!

Denise:
Roxy's right. We need to kick some ass.

Claudia Joy:
[stops and looks at Denise in surprise] Did you just say "kick some ass"?

Denise:
And I'm learning how to. Roxy is teaching me to box. She's a real survivor, that girl. I can't lift my arms but it was fun.

Claudia Joy:
Why are you learning how to box?

Denise:
Jeremy lost his temper. Again.

Claudia Joy:
He hurt you. Even after Michael warned him?

Denise:
Yeah. Roxy walked in and, well, she kicked him in the groin.

Claudia Joy:
[surprised] I don't know what to say.

[Roxy is in the bathroom doing her make-up]

Trevor:
Hey, I know this is tough for you but I'm coming home.

Roxy:
How can you know that? How can anyone know that?

Trevor:
I just know. I do.

Roxy:
Look, I get it, ok? I hit the jackpot here. I mean, most men put on the skates when they hear I got kids. But you married me. And here we are a blink later and you wanna adopt my boys and you want me to read your will and...it's not "just in case". It's because you could die. Trevor, it's because you could die. [kisses Trevor and walks out of the bathroom]

Trevor:
Roxy. [Roxy stops and looks at him] I was adopted. And not till I was seven. Until then it was just foster care. I don't want to adopt your boys because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I want to adopt them because I want them to know what it feels like to have someone really want them. It's like I said, I'm coming home.

[Jeremy knocks at Claudia Joy's door, Amanda opens it]

Amanda:
Look everybody, it's Jeremy Sherwood -- How are you?

Jeremy:
Great -- Uh -- Amanda, you look great!

Amanda:
So do you.

Jeremy:
So, when did you get home?

Amanda:
About 90 minutes after I got arrested.

Jeremy:
Arrested?

Amanda:
I take it you haven't been watching the news?

Jeremy:
I hate that show, it's too depressing.

[At the donation gathering, at the podium]

Pamela:
Hey -- It's me, Pamela Moran. I just want to let you all know, I made fifty grand carrying those kids. That's right, I was a paid surrogate. So, they're not my babies, they're not in the hospital, they're not dead and I lied to everyone. So -- Have at it!

Pamela:
[to Roxy] I read this quote once. Once you become a mother, you stop being the picture and you start being the frame.

[Inside the LeBlanc home]

Pamela:
Marilyn is having an affair, and you waited until now to tell me?

Roxy:
Well, excuse me, but I worked until midnight last night.

Pamela:
Well, my phone works twenty-four hours a day! And so does my front door!

[...]

Trevor:
So do you have any advice for me?

Chase:
My first deployment, I didn't know what to expect. There was a Major in my unit. A married guy, been on a lot of tours. He told me not to contact my family. Said the less I talked to them, the less I'd miss them and it would make it easier for me to get through. I called home only called four, five times in six months. My son was two weeks old when I learned he was born. The Major was right. It did make it easier. For me.

Trevor:
[looks at Roxy, who is in the kitchen with Pamela] Four five times in six months? [shakes head] I don't think I could do that Roxy.

[Camera cuts back to kitchen]

Pamela:
We can't tell anyone.

Roxy:
Wait, why not? [lowers her voice] I was gonna tell Trevor. I mean, he knows her husband.

Pamela:
Nah, you can't do that. Maybe in civilian life you could, if someone's cheating. But not here. We have to protect each other. Even if it's Marilyn. You still have to protect another soldier's wife. It's our code.

[Camera cuts back to Chase and Trevor]

Chase:
You asked for my advice, right?

Trevor:
Yeah.

Chase:
Well, here it is. [pauses] You call her every minute you can. I hurt Pamela a lot. Don't hurt your girl.

Claudia Joy:
I married a committed military man. And I have loved this military life. I've also had to put my personal opinions aside to truly understand that our defenders of freedom are fighting a bigger battle. Not a political one. Their battle goes beyond politics, beyond religion, race or gender. They're the defenders for us all. They're the defenders of our differences. As one soldier is taken away from us, another returns to us. There's balance in the universe, a natural system of order. Look beside each soldier and you'll find the people who fight with them. The spouses, the sons, the daughters, the families. We serve too. Their victories are our victories. Their defeats are our defeats. Together, we fight for our freedom. For eighteen years I have tried to be the perfect wife and mother. Each day, I disappoint myself. Human life isn't about perfection. It is about accepting the flawed, the misguided parts of ourselves. We keep trying, we keep loving, we keep believing. I'm proud of the role we play in maintaining peace in our country and in the world. I'm proud to stand beside a man whose integrity shines like a diamond in the dust. And I am proud to call myself an Army wife.

Roxy:
Denise looks so happy. Like hogs in the sun.

Pamela:
[looks at Roxy, chuckles] You just make 'em up as you do, don't you, these expressions.

Roxy:
It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of Hell. Seriously though, I half wish I could've gone to the pool with Trevor and the boys.

Pamela:
So, why didn't you?

Roxy:
He wanted to get some quality time with them before he goes.

Pamela:
Well, he just wants to make sure that they remember him when he's gone.

Roxy:
You think?

Pamela:
Chase was deployed the first year of Lucas' life. He left before he was born and came back after he was walking. Had no clue who daddy was.

Roxy:
Must've broken his heart.

Pamela:
Yeah. And mine. It's a real fear for soldiers, being forgotten by their children.

Roxy:
Well, then why are they so gung-ho to leave in the first place?

Pamela:
It's the military, sweetheart. Army, unit, family. In that order.

Marda:
[arguing with the guards] I showed you my license, what else do you want? My first report card? A pint of blood? Marriage certificate? I got three of them.

Marda:
Now I'm hoping this knee is a by-product of an illegal sexual act. [Trevor laughs]

Roxy:
[unamused] Mother!

Marda:
It's a firm grip. You did good!

Trevor:
So did you ma'am. You raised a hell of a daughter.

Betty:
Excuses are like backsides. Everybody's got one and they all stink.

Roxy:
I'm half hoping for a medical discharge so he'll stay home for good. Does that make me selfish?

Betty:
Yup. [Roxy looks at her] Army's his identity. Take it away, what's he got left?

Marda:
That husband of yours, keeper. Unlike your first one. Dumb as a box of nails and a beater to boot. So I'd say your man-pickings, mightily improved. Because this one is sweet, smart, a little nuts about the soldier thing but I can live with that.

Marda:
Roxy tells me your husband was gone. That must be tougher than getting into a nun's undies.

Pamela:
[looks up at Marda] That's a new one.

Roxy:
Skanky cranky people who make you work on your birthday, they do too fire you.

Roxy:
My favorite designer is the Goodwill.

Roxy:
So last night Trevor was on top of me when Finn walked in.

Pamela:
Oh my god, what did you do?

Roxy:
We said we were cold.

Pamela:
[laughs] And what did he say?

Roxy:
He said it was summer! [both laugh] Can you beat that?!

Pamela:
I wish I could but you're talking about sex, right? I have vague memories of moaning and toes curling--

Roxy:
Your toes curl?

Pamela:
[smiles] I didn't say mine.

Pamela:
[to Roxy] See, this is exactly what I mean. Scott sends me flowers. The last time Chase sent me flowers was when Lucas was born. That was five years ago. And you wonder why Scott got to me.

[Later]

[Roxy walks up to her front yard where Trevor is assembling a new bookshelf]

Roxy:
[smiles] Mister, you better be sending me flowers after we've been married for nine years.

Trevor:
[looks at her in surprise] Hey, do I wanna know what this is about?

Roxy:
No.

Trevor:
Yeah, didn't think so.

Betty:
People are like artichokes.

Roxy:
Don't you mean onions?

Betty:
[deadpan] I like any word that has "choke" in it. It fits better with marriage.

Roxy:
I just want to know that you have faults, Trevor. You know, like normal people.

Trevor:
I jump to conclusions. I'm a terrible cook. I forget names and I'm clumsy, hence the knee. I can be impulsive and sometimes a little bit too sensitive. [pauses] Feel better?

Roxy:
[chuckles] Yeah. Really, I do.

[Trevor is taking a shower when Roxy suddenly barges into the bathroom]

Roxy:
I can be jealous, but I'm working on it. I can be outspoken, but I'm really not working on that. I haven't read many books, not really the best speller. I don't want any more kids, at least not now, but I'm with you. I love to practice.

Roxy:
Now, I'm putting this to all of you. For the first time, Trevor and I did not have sex last night. What do y'all have to say about that?

Claudia Joy:
I'm impressed.

Pamela:
I'm jealous.

Denise:
I'm speechless.

[The ladies turn to Roland, who is awkwardly looking at the table]

Roland:
[looks up] I'm not here! Please leave a message.

Pamela:
Hey, you guys, Claudia Joy is doing okay, huh? You've gotta admire how she's been handling things, especially with Mrs. Lenore Baker trying to take her down like that.

Roxy:
Do you really think she would use what happened against Claudia Joy like that?

Pamela:
That's how it works around here sometimes.

Roxy:
Well, what do we do?

Denise:
We stick together. We support Claudia Joy, no matter what.

Roxy:
We deep fry Lenore Baker and serve her up with a side of hushpuppies!

Roxy:
Fastest way to a man's zipper; tight jeans, new haircut.

Roxy:
Sergeant Hendrix, can I talk to you about my husband, sir?

SFC Hendrix:
And you are?

Roxy:
Roxy LeBlanc. I'm married to--

SFC Hendrix:
PFC LeBlanc, I take it.

Roxy:
Yes. Look, I'm sure I'm breaking all sorts of rules here but I have to. See, Trevor's so dedicated to his training that he tore his feet up. He can barely walk, his socks are all bloody.

SFC Hendrix:
And so, what shall I do about it?

Roxy:
[lowers voice] Well, I made an appointment for him at the doctor tomorrow and he won't go because he has to train. So would you please give him the day off?

SFC Hendrix:
Oh sure. Why don't he take the week off?

Roxy:
Look, I feel responsible, ok? Trevor hurt his knee tripping over our kids' toy. Just...let him go? You can have him right back.

SFC Hendrix:
I'll take your advice, ma'am.

[SFC Hendrix walks away and turns back to his men]

SFC Hendrix:
LeBlanc!!!! Front and center!!!

[Trevor catches sight of Roxy and glares at her]

Trevor:
Rox, you were so far out of line in like a hundred different ways.

Roxy:
Sorry. I was just trying to help.

Trevor:
I know but you gave Sergeant Hendrix another thing to ride my ass about! Do you know what the guys are calling me now?! "Babysoft"!

Roxy:
Was just trying to get things back to normal for us.

Trevor:
[looks at Roxy curiously] What is that supposed to mean?

Roxy:
We haven't had sex in three days! Something's gotta be wrong. Are you still attracted to me?

Trevor:
That's what this is about??

[Roxy nods]

Trevor:
[in disbelief] Rox! [turns to Roxy] Ok, just because we're not having sex every night does not mean I'm not attracted to you. 'Cause I am.

Roxy:
[chuckles] I'm being needy. Never been needy before. I'm sorry. I just haven't had the best relationships, you know?

Trevor:
Then this is a good one in case you're wondering.

Pamela:
[on the air describing her new call-in show] Ok, uh, so much for announcements. Now for a little call-in segment that I'm calling 'Have At It With Pamela Moran.' Where we talk about us - the Army Wives - and what we go through. Like how it feels to be a single mom even when you're married. Or, better yet, what it's like to be the mistress 'cause the Army is the wife and sometimes that bitch gets all the attention! You know, they say, 'Mission First. People Always.' But that's crap. And what the hell does that mean, anyway? Because the Army comes first - period. And we deal with it or we move on. And it doesn't matter if your spouse wears sergeant's stripes, or, or colonel's eagle. Because worrying about your soldier at wartime feels exactly the same. So, forget rank, 'cause people are just people. And uh, speaking of which - I know we all like to gossip, but come on folks, can we just stop all the lies and innuendos about a certain colonel's wife. I mean, what the hell folks! Did we all lose direction to the high road, or what?

Victoria Grayson:
[to Claudia Joy] Getting older is like being punished for a crime you didn't commit.

[After Roxy and Pamela are confronted by Marilyn about Pamela having Scott over for Pizza]

Roxy:
So, you still think having your own microphone to tell the world off is a bad thing?

[In response to a caller on her radio show asking about what to expect when her husband comes home from war]

Pamela:
My man just came back and got a heroes welcome, lemme tell ya he knows how to shoot off the fireworks, we're talking 21-gun salute, so stay hydrated.

Customer:
[trying to hit on Roxy] You must be from Tennessee, 'cause you're the only ten I see.

Roxy:
[smiles] Sweet, you can count! Just don't breed. [walks away]

[Everyone laughs]

Trevor:
Rox, you are one of the smartest people I know...you could do anything.

Roxy:
You know the difference between a lawyer and an accountant? An accountant knows he's boring. [kisses Trevor] I'm happy where I am right now.

Roxy:
Do you remember the trek from Tuscaloosa?

Trevor:
[glancing at the boys] How could I forget? TJ threw up on me twice, Finn peed on me, and you broke the dial fighting over the radio station.

Roxy:
[smiles] Good times.

Trevor:
[smiling] Hmmm...good times.

Claudia Joy:
[to Betty] When is your surgery?

Roxy:
She's not having it.

Claudia Joy:
[concerned] Why not?

Roxy:
She's short three grand. I keep telling her to sell the Hump Bar, but she won't.

Betty:
This place has been truer to me than any man I've ever been with, Roxy. I can't sell it. It's better we just go out together.

Claudia Joy:
There has to be something we can do.

Roland:
Yeah.

Betty:
[shrugging] Forget it. I mean, who needs surgery? It's like putting lipstick on a pig.

Claudia Joy:
UVA doesn't know how lucky they are.

Amanda:
[her head on her mother's shoulder] Why?

Claudia Joy:
Why? Because they're getting the best Political Science major they'll ever have.

Amanda:
Mom, don't exaggerate.

Claudia Joy:
I'm not. I'm serious. I can see the woman you're going to be. You haven't caught sight of her yet, but she's just around the corner. And I'm damn glad that test was negative.

Roxy:
I'll always remember this day.

Trevor:
Why?

Roxy:
Because terrorists are trying to blow us up and we're flying a kite. [they both laugh] That would really piss them off!

Trevor:
Mrs. Roxy LeBlanc, we got married at City Hall. We never had a chance to say our vows and you never got to wear a wedding dress. So here it goes. [hands her a rose] Roxy, sometimes I think I've spent most of my life asleep, not taking any chances or any risks...

Roxy:
I think jumping out of an airplane is a risk.

Trevor:
Shh! [smiles] You're not supposed to interrupt me!

Roxy:
Sorry!

Trevor:
It's one thing to jump out of an airplane. It's another to really love someone. And I met you and you made sense of me. You are who I'm fighting for. You are who I'm coming home to. [looks at Roxy] Roxy, I love you. You are the love of my life.

Finn:
[standing beside TJ as Trevor says good bye to the boys] Please stay.

Trevor:
[to TJ and Finn] Well, you know why I have to go. But I'm gonna come back as soon as I can, and when I get home, I'm gonna tell you guys stories about everything I've seen. So, be brave for me, okay? Take care of your Mom, she's gonna need it. Come here. [kneels to hug both boys, and picks up his rucksack to leave, as Roxy tries not to cry]

[TJ stands still, still staring at Trevor]

Trevor:
What's the matter, buddy?

TJ:
It's just that we've never had a Daddy before.

Trevor:
[bending to look TJ straight in the eyes] I love you.

Pamela:
[over the air on her show, 'Have At It'] Ok, so in case you were wondering why it's been so busy on Fort Marshall today, it's because we've gone to FPCON Alpha Plus, and we know 'Alpha' relates to the global threat of terrorism. But...hell, we've been to Alpha Plus here before. We've bought the gas masks, we've stocked up on bottled water. But, there's one thing we can never be prepared for, and that's the fear. How do we handle the fear? My son Lucas once asked me if the 'bad guys' were going to blow us up. How do you answer that? How do you explain terrorism to your kid? How do you explain that at any time, any place, someone could just decide to take us all out? And that's why terrorism works, because we can't explain it, we can't predict it, it can happen any time, anywhere, by anyone. So, all we can do is trust that the military has our backs, and then we let it go. Because the only way to stop the fear is by living. Just living, being with your family, your friends, your community. Look, there is nothing we can do about it - except to seize the day. We live while we can, laugh while we can, love while we can. And that, my friends, is how we beat terrorism. So, 'Have At It.'