Army Wives, Season 4

Roxy:
Look, you're upset and you have every right to be, but it's not really the best time to make a big decision. We both know that Army life is this big cycle--

Pamela:
No, Roxy, it is not the Army. It's him. Your husband's in the Army and he made a choice. Trevor chose you. I can't tell you how amazing that is to me!

Chase:
Your wife gave me quite an earful about me and Pam. She tell you?

Trevor:
[chuckles] No, but I'm not surprised. They're best friends. So...

Chase:
I just don't know what she wants anymore. I mean, we used to be together on this stuff, you know? What do you think?

Trevor:
About what?

Chase:
Am I wrong to go to Fort Carson? Opportunities come, you take them, right? I mean, I was hand-picked for this.

Trevor:
Look, I get it. Coming back from that injury couldn't have been easy.

Chase:
No, it wasn't. [pauses] What about you man? I mean, Silver Star recipient. You could be leading a squad, fast-track on the way to a butter bar but you didn't go that way.

Trevor:
It's not the same situation.

Chase:
Maybe not. But what's that like? Being here instead of over there.

Trevor:
It's good being around the family.

Chase:
That wasn't the question.

Trevor:
Honestly, after I got wounded, all I could think about was getting back to my unit. That's what drove me, everyday, to the gym, to the track. I had to get back to my guys.

Chase:
You still want to.

Trevor:
Don't get me wrong. I would make the same decision again. But you just can't get these years back. [both look at TJ and Finn]

Chase:
Ever since I joined up, all I ever wanted to be was the best of the best. And I got there. And I love it.

Trevor:
[nods] Have you told your wife that?

Chase:
Yeah, I just don't think she's listening much anymore.

[Roxy is glancing through a baby catalog]

Roxy:
Boy howdy. They got strollers in here for $500. For that kind of money it should push itself.

Trevor:
I bet they're cheaper at the PX.

Roxy:
Well, it doesn't matter if they are. We gotta beg, borrow and steal everything we can before we spend a dime on anything real. Besides you can't go poking around the PX 'cause I haven't told anybody about the baby yet.

Trevor:
[looks at Roxy in astonishment] Rox, you're killin' me. Why haven't you told your friends yet?

Roxy:
When was I supposed to tell them? After Jeremy tried to shoot himself? Oh, or when Pamela left Chase? Or maybe I should've done it--

Trevor:
Ok, ok, I get it. Just don't let other people's stuff stress you out. It's not good for the baby.

Roxy:
I'm not stressed about other people's stuff. I'm stressed about my own stuff, like the ban on The Hump Bar, the Mustang's on its last leg, we gotta get all this new baby gear.

Trevor:
Babe, I got a plan.

Roxy:
Oh really. What's that? A bake sale?

Trevor:
That's funny. No, I'm getting a second job.

Roxy:
What??!

Trevor:
A lot of guys moonlight.

[...]

Roxy:
[looks at Lucky] Why don't you get a job, huh? Your kibble isn't free y'know. Hey, you look at me when I'm talking to you.

[Watching Lenore Baker pose around for photographs]

Pamela:
Some things never change.

Roxy:
She's changed all right. Now that she bagged General Bigshot, she's ten times worse.

Claudia Joy:
Forget Lenore. We've got work to do.

Roxy:
Meanwhile, my business is in the toilet, my bills are getting bigger, I've got the baby and now--

Claudia Joy:
[interrupts Roxy] Woah. Baby? You're pregnant?

Roxy:
[realizes that she slipped her secret] Ohhh. [smiles] Yeah. I am.

Claudia Joy:
Oh Roxy, come here. [gets up and hugs Roxy]

[Michael is at the officers' club having a drink. Unknown to him Claudia Joy is not far away.]

Claudia Joy:
Buy you a drink, soldier?

Michael:
I'm married.

Claudia Joy:
Bet your wife doesn't understand you.

[Michael grins and gives Claudia Joy a kiss]

[Roxy is preparing the presentation for General Ludwig and Major General Holden]

Bar owner:
I heard on TV once that if you're nervous of people, just picture them naked.

[Just then, General Ludwig and MG Holden walk in]

Roxy:
Um, yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

Claudia Joy:
[walks to join Denise and Pamela at the table] What did I miss?

Pamela:
About a beer and a half. [laughs]

Roxy:
[brings a bottle of wine to the table] Wine.

Claudia Joy:
I think this occasion calls for a toast. [holds cup] To The Hump. Can't keep a good bar down.

[Roxy takes out a bottle of water. The ladies toast]

Pamela:
Really, Rox? Water?

Roxy:
Yeah. Water. It's better for the baby.

Pamela:
What?

Denise:
Baby?

Roxy:
[squeals in excitement] I'm pregnant!!!

Roxy:
Mommy is pregnant.

[TJ and Finn look at her and Trevor]

Trevor:
Wow. Come on. Your mom's having a baby!

TJ:
[unenthusiastically] Really?

Finn:
Why??

Roxy:
Uh...because...we thought it would be fun for you guys to have a little baby brother or baby sister?

[Still no reaction from the boys]

Lenore:
Congratulations Claudia Joy. Looks like you win it all. Again.

Claudia Joy:
This was never about winners or losers.

Lenore:
Noble to the end. How endearing.

Claudia Joy:
You know, Lenore. With all you've accomplished, I honestly don't understand how you can be such a miserable person.

Lenore:
Excuse me?

Claudia Joy:
Only someone intensely unhappy could be so petty and vindictive. It's not enough for you to succeed, others have to fail. I don't get it. What could you possibly want that you don't already have? Prestige, a successful husband, friends....

Lenore:
Friends? I don't have friends. I have followers. They either fear me or want something from me. You have friends.

Claudia Joy:
Well, you know why, Lenore? It's no great secret. I don't expect anything other than friendship in return. It's not a political calculation to me. It's really simple. To have a friend you need to be one first.

Lenore:
Thank you for that. [gets up] I'll have to have it embroidered on a pillow someday. Right next to my Girls Scout handbook. Goodbye, Claudia Joy. [walks out]

Finn:
TJ did it.

TJ:
You were there too.

Finn:
I told you not to.

TJ:
No you didn't!

Trevor:
All your mom and I wanna know is why.

TJ:
You never asked us if we wanted a new baby.

Finn:
Yeah.

Trevor:
[surprised] What?

Roxy:
Go ahead, TJ.

TJ:
You're gonna love the new baby more than us because it's really yours and we're not.

Trevor:
Buddy, is that what you think?

TJ:
It's true.

Trevor:
No, no it's not.

Finn:
It isn't?

Trevor:
No.

TJ:
We saw at the park playing with that baby.

Trevor:
[takes a deep breath] Look, guys. Maybe I wasn't there when you were born. But for me, you two are mine and you're always gonna be mine. No matter what. Ok?

TJ:
Ok

Roxy:
See, it doesn't matter if somebody is your birth parent or not. All that matters is that they love you. And your dad and I love you so very much.

Trevor:
And you need to know that there's a lot of love inside every person. It's just not something that gets used up and then there's no more.

Roxy:
When this new baby comes, there's gonna be just so much more love in this house.

TJ:
You mean like when we got Lucky?

Roxy:
Yeah. Like when we got Lucky.

SGT Farina:
[notices Trevor surfing on the internet for a new car] A mini-van? Seriously? What, it's soccer mom? [chuckles]

Trevor:
This is coming from a man who rides a scooter.

SGT Farina:
I told you, LeBlanc. It's a fully-stripped street bike. 450cc.

Grace:
Your mother crushed the competition in moot court.

Emmalin:
Moot court?

Grace:
Simulated trial. Nobody wanted to go up against C.J. Meade. After her summations you were dead!

[Frank and Denise get back from a ride]

Denise:
But next time, I drive.

Frank:
That's fine with me. That way I get to wrap my arms around you.

[Trevor shows TJ and Finn the gold necklace he bought for Roxy]

Finn:
Is that it?

Trevor:
What do you mean, "is that it"???

Finn:
It's kinda small.

Trevor:
Buddy, that's real gold. It doesn't have to be big to be good. Remember that.

TJ:
[skeptical] You really think she'll like it?

Trevor:
Like it? Guys, she's gonna love it.

Finn:
It's a surprise, right?

Trevor:
Exactly.

TJ:
[sternly to Finn] So no blabbing.

Finn:
I won't.

Trevor:
Ok, so let's go over tomorrow's battle plan. Atten-hut! [TJ and Finn stand at attention] First we let your mom sleep in till 0800 correct?

TJ & Finn:
Yes, sir!

Trevor:
Then?

TJ:
Breakfast in bed with cards and flowers.

Trevor:
Affirmative. Then what?

Finn:
FRG brunch.

Trevor:
Perfect. Now I'm gonna be going away on Army business but I'll be back in time for dinner with you guys, Katie, Lucas and Mrs. Moran, ok?

TJ:
And then the special present?

Trevor:
Roger that.

Denise:
I think that cold got to me more than I thought.

Choi:
Ten bucks says it's pneumonia. Get your lungs checked.

Denise:
Choi, it was a cold.

Choi:
Could be a stroke set in. Let that go, you could go into septic shock.

Denise:
[laughs] What is with you?

Choi:
Hey, if you stroke out, I get Esposito as my partner. Please don't let that happen!

Joan:
Yesterday when I came home, Sara Elizabeth didn't respond to me and I couldn't get her to settle down last night. Roland had to do it.

Pamela:
Wow.

Joan:
Yeah. I know that'll change but I was asking myself, why do I put my family through that? Why do I put myself through that?

Pamela:
Why do you?

Joan:
What does Chase tell you?

Pamela:
Not much. But he doesn't want to leave Delta.

Joan:
I take it that's a problem.

Pamela:
Yeah.

Joan:
Well, if he's like other operators I know, it's not that he won't leave Delta. He can't. You see, for soldiers like us, the Army isn't just a job. It's our life. God knows, I love my family, but when duty calls, I answer. It's who I am. I can't explain it any better than that.

Claudia Joy:
You're having a baby? Seriously?

Denise:
Yup.

Claudia Joy:
I don't believe it.

Denise:
You? What about me?

Claudia Joy:
What about Frank?

[Camera cuts to Frank and Michael in Michael's office]

Frank:
I was fine, once I came to. [shakes head] At first I thought she was joking.

Michael:
So would I. You had no inkling?

Frank:
[shakes head] None, none. After Jeremy was born they said Denise couldn't have more kids. [pauses] We haven't worried about birth control since.

[Camera cuts back to Claudia Joy and Denise]

Claudia Joy:
You always said you wanted more children.

Denise:
I meant twenty years ago. Talk about a late gift.

Claudia Joy:
Oh, you're healthy, you're strong. This is a blessing. It's exciting.

Denise:
Try terrifying. Well, you know the risks at our age. Chromosome problems, pre-eclampsia, even diabetes. I just thought I was past all this long time ago.

Claudia Joy:
Having kids keeps you younger.

[Camera cuts back to Frank and Michael]

Frank:
[horrified] Oh God. I feel old. I'm gonna be that guy sitting at a little league game with the ice cream dribbling down his chin. Other parents are gonna think I'm someone's grandpa.

Michael:
[chuckles] Who cares what they think? I'd say this calls for a drink.

Frank:
At nine in the morning?

Michael:
It's four in the afternoon in Baghdad.

Frank:
Roger that.

[Camera cuts back to Denise and Claudia Joy]

Denise:
Don't you have anything stronger?

Claudia Joy:
Not for nine months, my friend.

Denise:
Oh, I just realized that I will be packing lunch boxes when I'm fifty.

[Frank and Denise are discussing colors to paint on the nursery wall.]

Frank:
Honestly, Dee. It looks like the choices are between green, green and green.

Denise:
No. Pistachio, willow and julup.

Frank:
Green.

Denise:
It's important, Frank. The baby is going to be living with these walls.

Frank:
How about black and white?

Denise:
[groans and rolls her eyes] Frank.

Frank:
No, I'm serious!

Denise:
A nice soothing color helps the baby's development. They've done studies.

Frank:
I know. And the latest research in early cognitive development suggests that high contrast actually stimulates the infant brain more.

[Denise looks at Frank in amazement]

Frank:
Hey. You're not the only one that can read up on the subject.

Denise:
You've been reading about babies?

Frank:
Well, um, when Jeremy was born it was all just a blur. At least it was for me. This time it's going to be different.

Denise:
I'm proud of you. [kisses Frank] But I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, there is no way we are painting the baby's room black and white.

Trevor:
I love weekends! [starts kissing Roxy]

Roxy:
[stops Trevor] Honey!

Trevor:
[surprised] What?

Roxy:
We need a new car.

Trevor:
Ok, how did we go from what we just did to "we need a new car"?

Roxy:
I dunno. Good sex doesn't change the fact that I have to put oil in the car every time I get gas.

Frank:
Oh, hell, I could do it. I've got nothing going tomorrow night.

Roland:
Hey, that's really nice Frank, but...you know, Sara Elizabeth can be a real handful these days.

Frank:
Well, I admit it's been a while since I looked after a toddler but I need to get back in training. [points at a pregnant Denise] Soon.

Denise:
Uh, honey, I don't think Roland wants his daughter to be used as a field exercise.

Frank:
That's not what I meant. Look, we're tag-teaming. Take the first shift together, you show me the ropes. When you gotta leave I'll take over.

[Roland is speechless]

Denise:
Roland?

Roland:
Um, you know, if the Lieutenant Colonel can lead men into combat I'm sure he can look after my daughter.

Frank:
I appreciate the vote of confidence. [picks up the baby bag] [Denise laughs] I'll take these into the baby's room. Thank you.

Roland:
Thank you, Frank. [looks on in amusement]

Denise:
[chuckles] Well, what can I tell you? My warrior has turned into Mr Mom.

[Michael is reading his study when his cellphone rings]

Michael:
Frank?

Frank:
I'm sorry to disturb you sir.

Michael:
[Sara Elizabeth is crying and screaming in the background] What is that? A cat in heat?

Frank:
Uh, that would be your goddaughter sir.

Michael:
Sara Elizabeth?

Frank:
Affirmative. I'm at the Burton residence and I got babysitting detail.

Michael:
[chuckles] Really.

Frank:
Yes, sir. And I have a bit of a situation. [Sara Elizabeth is still crying]

Michael:
[amused] Apparently.

Frank:
Nothing I can't handle but I thought that perhaps considering your background with a child and the fact that you've raised two females yourself...

Michael:
Sit tight, I'm on my way.

Frank:
[relieved] Thank you sir!

[Sara Elizabeth continues crying and screaming while Frank looks on in desperation.]

Pamela:
[describing her first day at work to Roxy on the phone] [...] And then I meet my FTO and he's just--

Roxy:
Excuse me, your what?

Pamela:
Um, my Field Training Officer...

Roxy:
Ughhh, they're as bad as the Army!

[...]

[Katie and Lucas are arguing, Pamela is still on the phone with Roxy.]

Pamela:
[angrily to them] Hey, what are you guys doing?!

[Katie and Lucas hold up their hands, they have handcuffed themselves together with Pamela's handcuffs.]

Trevor:
[on his laptop] [to TJ and Finn] Ok, men, commence "Operation New Car" and by that I mean new, used car.

TJ:
This is cool.

Trevor:
Ok, so what kind of car should we get?

TJ:
I want a truck with really big wheels.

Finn:
I want a purple one.

Trevor:
Hmm, a purple monster truck, huh? That's interesting.

Roxy:
I've known my car longer than I've known you Trevor. I've slept in it, cried in it. I almost had TJ in it. Not to mention it's where you and I first "you-know'ed" in it.

Trevor:
[nods] Yeah. And I still got the scar from that broken spring to prove it

Roxy:
It's just like losing an old friend, is all.

Trevor:
You want me to keep it around? I could work on it when I get back.

[As the tow truck pulls away, the front door completely falls off onto the driveway]

Roxy:
Um, no. I'm good.

Trevor:
We're doing live fire exercises. Gotta shake off the rust.

Roxy:
Wait, you all are doing live fire exercises today?

Trevor:
We gotta train under combat conditions.

Roxy:
Don't you think that's kinda bad luck to do that on Day 99?

Trevor:
I don't think the Army worries about it when they schedule these exercises.

Roxy:
Well, they should.

Trevor:
Babe...[kisses Roxy] You need to relax. I promise you, no one's gonna get hurt. [leaves]

Roxy:
That includes you Trevor. [Trevor grins as he walks out] I mean it!

Denise:
The safety record's on everyone's mind. Frank won't let me talk about it either. He's nervous about passing 99 days too.

Claudia Joy:
I know! I never seen Michael like this. Would be funny if he wasn't so serious!

Roxy:
So if we make it to a hundred days, it's gonna be like one big party around here, right? So I went ahead and I ordered a boatload of shrimp for The Hump and now I kinda have this bad feeling like, maybe I jinxed everything.

Claudia Joy:
You're showing confidence in the 23rd. You're betting on success.

Roxy:
True.

Claudia Joy:
And I don't think a food order could affect field exercises.

Roxy:
Ok...well, now I feel silly!

Claudia Joy:
No, no. Soldiers are superstitious. Michael wore the same t-shirt everyday when he was in the Gulf.

Roxy:
[looks at Claudia Joy in disbelief] That's gross. And unhealthy.

Claudia Joy:
And for the last week, he's eaten nothing but eggs for breakfast.

Roxy:
And Trevor always gets dressed in exactly the same order.

Claudia Joy:
Soldiers need to feel lucky. So do we. So if eggs can work for Michael then I guess shrimp can work for you.

Frank:
Live fire exercises before my second tour. Some numbskull pulls a pin of out of a grenade and then manages to throw the thing behind him.

Jeremy:
You're kidding!

Frank:
Don't know how he did it. It's a miracle nobody was hurt. Turns out the thing rolled into a hole before it exploded. If it hadn't done that then, well, who knows what would've happened. Point is, some days you get lucky.

Trevor:
Babe, I am so glad this day is over.

Roxy:
Yeah, so am I.

Trevor:
You know, when I made Sergeant, it was to become a recruiter. I never thought about leading a team until I was told I had to deploy. But these guys, they're counting on me to bring them home. It's a huge responsibility.

Roxy:
Yeah. I get that.

Trevor:
I thought today was about testing my men. But you know what? It was about testing myself. [pauses, looks at Roxy] What about you? What did you decide with the whole shrimp thing?

Roxy:
[smiles] I doubled my order. I figured that I couldn't lose betting on the 23rd.

Trevor:
Damn straight.

Michael:
[telling Claudia Joy about Joan's brain injury] You should've seen the look on her face when I told her she couldn't deploy. We may have reached a hundred days without a fatality but yesterday I lost one of my best soldiers.

Trevor:
[rushes in] Hey babe, I need a favor. I ran into time at the SRPC so I need you to get my will looked over for me, ok? [hands Roxy an envelope and rushes into his room to get something]

Roxy:
What? Your will?

Trevor:
[from room] Yeah, I made a few notes. It's all there.

Roxy:
Uh, Trevor, I do not have time.

Trevor:
[rushes back out] It needs to be done today and...[kisses Roxy before dashing out the door] I gotta get back for equipment inventory and inspection. I love you...

Roxy:
Yeah, but--

Trevor:
I promise I'm gonna make it up to you. Promise. [closes the door]

Roxy:
[annoyed] How? You're leaving!

Claudia Joy:
There's always too much to do before deployment

Roxy:
Yeah...

[...]

Roxy:
I don't like any of this. Wills, funeral arrangements, "what hymn do you want sung?"

Claudia Joy:
It's always hard. How are the boys handling it?

Roxy:
We're gonna tell them tonight. I just wanted them to have as much time as possible without worrying. I still can't believe he's going. Thought I'd be used to it by now.

Claudia Joy:
We never get used to it. We just get through it. You will too.

SSG Tyrell Sallers:
We all feel so out of place at first here, ma'am, but when you see a PFC, Staff Sergeant, Lieutenant Colonel all trying to relearn how to tie their shoes, you realize TBI is a great equalizer.

Roxy:
Men have shorter memories. It's a fact.

TJ:
[angrily] You said three years!

Trevor:
[trying to calm TJ] And I meant to be here that long.

Roxy:
But he Army needs your dad in Afghanistan right now.

Finn:
Why?

Trevor:
'Cause we're fighting over there.

TJ:
You lied!

Trevor:
We didn't lie to you, bud.

TJ:
You said you got a new job. You didn't say you were deploying.

Roxy:
We wanted to find the right time to tell you.

TJ:
You never told us anything! [goes into his room] You think I'm just a little kid! [slams door]

[Trevor follows TJ to his room]

Roxy:
Your brother's upset, that's all.

Finn:
[sadly] Dad'll miss my birthday.

Finn:
TJ?

TJ:
What?

Finn:
What if something happens to Dad?

TJ:
It won't.

Finn:
What if it does?

TJ:
Dad's strong. He won't get hurt. Now go to sleep.

Frank:
You all right sir?

Michael:
[groans] Heavy PT this morning with Emmalin. We did stadiums.

Frank:
Really. How many?

Michael:
Ten.

Frank:
[chuckles] Well, that's ambitious.

Michael:
[looks at Frank] Word of advice. Start stretching now before the baby gets here.

Frank:
Roger that.

Trevor:
Army kids grow up faster than most. That's just the way it is. If TJ wants to rise to the occasion, we need to guide him.

Michael:
When I was 25 I went to Ranger School. A nine-week combat leadership course. Intense physical challenges. Not enough food, not enough sleep. Twenty mile marches with sixty pounds on your back.

Emmalin:
Sounds fun.

Michael:
Yeah. Got to a point where my feet throbbed so badly, all I wanted to do was sit down and take off my boots. But I knew if I did that, I'd never get them back on again. So I pushed through, because more than anything, I wanted to be a Ranger. That's what I wanted. And my question is, what do you want? I thought it was to play Division 1 hockey. If that's not true anymore, that's fine. I won't be disappointed. I won't love you any less. But it is true, if you still cherish that dream, I don't want you wondering five years from now if you could've gone all the way if you had only pushed yourself a little harder. You have got all sorts of strength inside of you.

Roxy:
Officer Boone, Officer Moran.

Pamela:
What are you doing here? I figured you'd be spending the day with Trevor.

Roxy:
You know him. He's making sure that his men are ready for deployment so I'm just popping in to check on Chief and then I'm popping right back out.

Boone:
Hey wait a minute. Maybe you can tell me. What's her type? [points to Pamela]

Pamela:
[annoyed] Stop!

Roxy:
[confused] Her type?

Boone:
Of date. A guy at the station asked her out and she turned him down.

Roxy:
[to Pamela] You got asked out on a date and you didn't even tell me?!

Pamela:
Ok, no. A guy asked him to ask me. It's like passing notes in study hall.

[Boone chuckles]

Roxy:
Uh, yeah, right. [to Boone] That is not her type.

[At the Holdens' dinner table]

Michael:
You really made this?

Emmalin:
Mom.

Claudia Joy:
She did!

Michael:
Wow. A vast improvement over the very first meal you ever made me. You remember that?

Emmalin:
[embarrassed] Not again.

Michael:
You sat me down at your plastic pink tea party table, served slices of American cheese and a tower of saltines. I had to eat the whole thing and then you charged me for it.

Emmalin:
And you paid. Ten cents.

Claudia Joy:
And a quarter tip.

Michael:
[e-mailing Claudia Joy] Dear Claudia Joy, it feels like an eternity since we kissed goodbye. I've been going 24/7 since we put boots on the ground in Kandahar. Mostly my days are taken up with shuras. That's Afghan for meetings, meetings and more meetings. I swear I've never had so much tea in my life. Frank's working with our NATO counterparts, though I think the officers from France would prefer he didn't try to speak French.

Frank:
[e-mailing Denise] You should hear me parle de francais, Dee. I sound just like a native. There are 42 nations in the coalition and I'm liaison with all of them. There's some cultural differences and it can get confusing, but the assignment has its perks. The Germans have beer flowing in their base camp so I might just have to ask for a tour. I sure hope that baby Molly's easing up on her jiujitsu so you can get some sleep. I've seen Jeremy. The boy's settling just fine. Try not to worry about him, Dee, though I know that's easier said than done.

Jeremy:
[e-mailing Denise] Hey Mom. I'm sweating my butt off here. I would give anything for a shower longer than three minutes. No worries though. Sergeant LeBlanc pushes us hard but I know he wants to keep us sharp.

Trevor:
[e-mailing Roxy] Hey babe, I think of you all the time. No matter what I'm doing, you and the boys are always with me. I bet Fort Marshall's a ghost town since deployment. Hope you're finding things to keep busy. That's it for now. Love you and miss you tons. Hugs to the boys for me and enjoy the peace and quiet.

[Roxy is reading Trevor's e-mail from her laptop in the kitchen when the silence is interrupted by the sound of breaking glass and TJ and Finn's shouting.]

[At the aid station]

Tanya:
So you did this how?

Jeremy:
The game was tied. Time runnin' out. Giron takes off on a post pattern...

Tanya:
[unamused] Playing football. Life and death.

Jeremy:
It was against the Air Force!

Tanya:
[feels SPC Giron's shoulder] Way to go, soldier. You've dislocated your shoulder. [looks at Jeremy] Happy?

Giron:
I held onto the ball.

Jeremy:
Only because I put it right between the numbers.

Tanya:
I can reduce the dislocation right now. I'll give you something for the pain first.

Giron:
No, just do it.

Tanya:
You sure?

Giron:
Yeah, I could take it.

Tanya:
Ok, tough guy. On three. One... [pops Giron's shoulder back in place, Giron cringes]

[...]

Tanya:
[deadpan] Your government thanks you for taking yourself out of action for blatant stupidity. [leaves]

[Jeremy and Giron look at each other]

Giron:
She wants me.

Jeremy:
[grins] Right.

Jeremy:
[attempting to ask Tanya out] Can I buy you a cup of terrible coffee?

Tanya:
Take guys like you. You're goofing off playing football one day and you're on my table the next. Your leg's blown off, face is burnt, bleeding out...

Jeremy:
You do what you can. That's all any of us can do.

[Roland, Claudia Joy, Denise, Roxy and Pamela are having a drink at The Hump Bar]

Roland:
When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state. And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries...

[Pamela feigns snoring]

Roland:
That's Shakespeare you're snoring at, woman.

[Ladies all giggle at Roland]

Pamela:
If you're gonna snore, snore at the best.

Trevor:
Morning, Sherwood. Nice day, huh?

Jeremy:
Ah, yeah. Not too hot yet.

Trevor:
Oh, I don't know about that. I thought I saw a lot of heat a moment ago between you and that medic.

Jeremy:
[flustered] We--we were just talking, Sergeant.

Trevor:
[smiles, sarcastically] Right. [continues] Look, we're in tough country. I need your head in the game and not in the clouds.

Jeremy:
Understood.

Trevor:
Now on the flip side, as you're both the same rank, what I can't see, I can't address.

Roxy:
[catches a guy staring at Denise, who is obviously pregnant] Dude. She is not available. Is that not obvious to you?

Denise:
I feel my heartburn flaring up and it just gets worse when I lay down. There's no chance I'm gonna sleep tonight so I'll just watch some TV or something and try to zone out.

Roxy:
Really? We have DVDs.

Denise:
No, really, it's ok. I could watch anything right now. [chuckles] I saw this infomercial last night about this egg thingy that removes dead skin from the bottom of your feet. [chuckles] I realized I can't even see my feet. [laughs and suddenly begins to cry] Oh, Roxy, what am I gonna do? Frank is gone and Jeremy is gone and I'm so tired and I'm just gonna be tired for the rest of my life. And baby's not gonna sleep for months and then she's gonna need carpool and then she'll be a teenager and she'll hate me and want to.... [chuckles] Oh god...and then she'll go to college and she'll meet a boy and she'll get married and she'll..... [worried] Oh, what if it doesn't work out and she moves back home and then....I'll hate her?? Or what if it does work out and she has babies and then I'll be a grandmother!...And then I'll have to watch them and then the babies won't sleep and then what am I gonna do?!?? [starts crying again]

Chase:
The single scene, it's a jungle out there.

Pamela:
Spoken like a true Delta operator.

Chase:
Just telling it like it is.

[Roxy and Trevor are video-conferencing]

Trevor:
All right, babe. This is what we've been working on. You ready?

Roxy:
Let's have it.

[Pamela walks into Roxy's house and sees her laughing at her laptop. Trevor is dancing for Roxy wearing only his bullet-proof vest and boxers.]

Pamela:
[looks on in amazement] I haven't seen that move since the 80's. [Roxy continues laughing] Wow...oh my...

[Trevor realizes that Pamela is watching and stops]

Trevor:
[comes up to webcam, embarrassed] Oh wow. All right, we're gonna talk about this later. [switches off his webcam]

Roxy:
Bye! [closes laptop]

Pamela:
[laughs] That was a good way to end my shift.

Roxy:
[still laughing] I am in so much trouble right now!

Michael:
[video-conferencing] Hoping to make headway with some remote village elders who are getting squeezed by the Taliban.

Claudia Joy:
Why are you going?

Michael:
Their elders prefer to negotiate with our elders. And that would be me.

Claudia Joy:
[giggles] Never knew "elders" could be so sexy.

[Jeremy runs from outside and barges into the operations room where Frank and his men are]

Frank:
[startled] What is it?

Jeremy:
[panting] Mom's having the baby. Now.

Frank:
What? How do you know?

Jeremy:
I called her to tell her I was getting married and her water broke while I was on the phone.

Frank:
Oh, good lord. I gotta go to the teleconference room.

Jeremy:
[tosses Frank's patrol cap to him] Dad, cover!

[Frank catches his cap and goes into the teleconference room]

Frank:
[pokes head back out] You're gettin' married???

Frank:
My wife's having a baby. My wife's having a Molly. Her name's Molly.

Specialist:
[setting up mic and computer] Congratulations, sir.

Frank:
[video feed shows Denise in labor, Frank cringes at Denise's groaning] Son of a bitch!

Specialist:
She can hear you, sir.

Frank:
Oh.

[Denise is in labor]

Frank:
[via video-conferencing] Hey! Hi, honey. Hey, Dee. You're doing great. That's it. I'm right with you, sweetheart. I'm right here with you.

Denise:
[in labor] No you're not! You're 7000 miles awaayyyy!!!!