Big Shots

Brody:
Let's just say, when it comes to sex. She's the man.

Duncan:
Men. We're the new women.

Marla:
What kind of man would be so deceitful as to lie to the woman he’s cheating on his wife with?

Duncan:
[about Cameron] She's belligerent and headstrong. You can't tell her a thing.

Lisbeth:
You should be happy. Proof that she's yours.

Cameron:
[regarding his drink] That's your third, you know?'

Duncan:
I didn't know you were keeping score.

Cameron:
I didn't know you needed to get loaded to face your own daughter.

Duncan:
You should try facing her, you'd get loaded too.

Brody:
[about Lisbeth] Maybe you should remarry her?

Duncan:
Right, then sex in the wine cellar becomes "Don't touch me I'm exfoliating."

Duncan:
[to Brody] What kind of world do we live in, women are more men than we are?

Karl:
It took an affair with a lunatic to get me to appreciate my wife.

Brody:
It's impressive Karl; the first man in history actually has to break up with his wife and his girlfriend.

Karl:
Look, I know it sounds crazy but it’s taken my mistress to help me remember how great my wife is. And now that I have, I won’t let anything spoil it.

Sara:
[about the red Ferrari] Mid life crisis or divorce?

James:
Oh, that obvious huh? [Sara nods] Yeah, well… guilty as charged, recently separated.

Sara:
Well, I’ve been there, first stage is always hardest.

James:
There are stages?

Sara:
First stage, wondering if you gonna survive. Second stage, wondering if you’re going to spend the rest of your life alone and third stage, wondering why you didn’t get a divorce sooner.

Terrence:
A word of warning, I never lose.

Duncan:
First time for everything.

Karl:
How can things be worse than listening to my ex-mistress have sex with a guy who I thought was gay?

Wendy:
We are so lucky we have each other. Marla has no one.

Karl:
Unless you count her multiple personalities.

James:
Hey I’m a busy guy. Head of a major corporation, I see my kids almost every weekend. Who has time to date?

Duncan:
Who said anything about dating? Relationships come in all forms; some last fifteen years and end very badly, some last fifteen minutes and end very, very happy.

Karl:
The truth, so crazy it just may work.

Cameron:
[to Duncan] You work thirty hours a day, fifteen days a week and you still have time to cheat on mom?

Lisbeth:
I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot! What was I thinking? Duncan Collinsworth loves himself far too much to kill himself.

Karl:
Are you really serious about this? You want Marla to carry our baby.

Wendy:
You’d rather our child be carried by someone we don’t know?

Karl:
No… but I’d rather it not be carried by someone with the emotional stability of Britney Spears.

Lisbeth:
[to Duncan] You… you’re like a drug to me. You make me feel amazing for an hour or for a weekend. And then you let me down and I come crashing back to reality. I’m a forty year old woman; it’s time for me to quit chasing that fairytale.

Duncan:
[to Cameron about hiring Zack] This is who you hired? Where'd you find him, Facebook?

Duncan:
How can sex ever end badly?

Karl:
Maybe not for you, but believe me, I found a way.

Marla:
Please tell me you're locking the door.

Karl:
I...I...I can't work under these conditions. How am I supposed to make a baby with my wife popping in and out of the room?

Lisbeth:
[to Duncan] Wait a second. What the hell was that? You cannot go around punching people in the face; especially people I’m about to marry.