Birdgirl, Season 2

Judy:
Hey, Evie! [waves at Evie] What's that in your hand?

Evie:
The box you just gave me.

Judy:
Uh-huh. What's in it?

Evie:
A... Tax planner Toby?

Judy:
Oh, can I play?! [takes the toy box and places it on the table] He comes with his own spreadsheets [takes the booklet in her hand] and a booklet on tax dodges! Neat!

Dog with Bucket Hat:
Ha! Lemme look at that. [takes the booklet, reads its title, "Cayman Islands Tax Code", and hides it in his clothes]

Brian O'Brien:
So, every day, some Tom, Dick, or Harriet makes a dumb-ass comment or [scrolls up some internal company messages on his tablet] unwanted advance, word gets out, and they get cancel led, we get sued, and someone has to clean up the mess.

Dog with Bucket Hat:
Please, charge that.

Brian O'Brien:
That's why I've perfected a new technology.

Evie:
A-hem.

Brian O'Brien:
That's why mostly Evie perfected a new technology.

Evie:
We track employees' online footprint to predict inappropriate behavior seconds before it happens. Like, in six seconds, Paul will post that he invented Taco Tuesday.

Judy:
What's FL(I), you ask? Well, the inspiration's right next to me. [coworker is snoring] To my left. Meredith is the most high-functioning person I know. Her brain filters out the negative, leaving her in a state of total calm. Not like this dumpster fire. [gestures her fingers around her head]

[the coworkers are laughing]

Judy:
Guys, I'm using self-deprecation to seem relatable.

[the coworkers are laughing again]

Judy:
We built these prototypes to test in-house. Each FL(I) is powered by a fragment of Mere's mind taker powers.

[presentation video]

Meredith:
[lends some of her powers to a FL(I) product] Boy-oop!

Man:
Nobody likes me. [the FL(I) beeps and turns red, showing his thought]

Judy:
The negative thought is taken by those powers and turned into something better.

Man:
[the FL(I) turns blue and dings] I'm unique and special.

Dog with Bucket Hat:
[answers his phone] Oh, hey, Dr. Andy. Not a great time. [whispers to the iguana in his car] Dr. Andy.

Dr. Andy:
Listen. I probably should've thought of this earlier, but you know how iguanas lose their tails and then they grow back? [the iguana switches the gear from P to N] Well, what if we just let this tail fall off and then, boom, problem solved? [the car starts going downhill]

Dog with Bucket Hat:
Oh, you're a horrible fucking doctor. [hangs up] Danny boy, you're gonna make it! [turns around and looks for the car]

Dog with Bucket Hat:
A masked deliquent has been defacing Li'l Judy's face and leaving this tag, "KK". We think that stands for Kaptain Khaos. The problem isn't the vandalism.

Meredith:
It's the spelling. 'Cause K for C is a '90s trope.

Dog with Bucket Hat:
It's the news coverage. It's drawing unwanted attention to the fact that Li'l Judy's is more rundown than a shitter on shitty Tuesday.

Dog with Bucket Hat:
[accesses Jessica's computer] Here we go.

Meredith:
Is it her Glee fanfic?

Dog with Bucket Hat:
Yes, and every paycheck she ever earned at this place... She hasn't cashed a single one. And she's been here for 10 years.

Meredith:
The second she decides to cash those checks, we go bankrupt.