Codename: Kids Next Door, Season 2

Numbuh 4:
Ehh, Numbuh 3... Uh, thanks for saving me and all.

Numbuh 3:
[laughs and grabs Numbuh 4 into a hug] It's okay.

Numbuh 4:
[Talking to himself, then says in a goofy voice] I. L-l-love. Y-y-you.

Numbuh 3:
[waiting the entire episode for him to say those exact words] AHHHH! Say it again!

Numbuh 4:
Don't press your luck.

Numbuh 5:
Man, look at him! We’ve got to get rid of that fool!

Numbuh 4:
Then you wake him and you tell him to leave!

Numbuh 5:
Nuh-uh, I’m not gonna wake him, you wake him!

Numbuh 2:
Oh and get spanked because he's cranky in the morning, forget it!

Count Spankulot:
I arrive, like a shadow in the night, the hunter who preys upon wrong-doers. I deliver my punishments swiftly, and without regrets. My victims beg for mercy and offer to make deals. They try to run, but there is nowhere to run, and there is nowhere to hide. For those I hunt, I have one thing; A GOOD SPANKING!

Judge:
YOU! YOU... YOU... YOU!

Count Spankulot:
[stammering] Judge?

Judge:
How dare you come in to my house and spank me and my wife?!

Judge's Wife:
Ooh, I can't feel my bottom.

Numbuh 1:
[Losing control of his rage] IT IS NOT A DATE!!! It was NEVER a date. And even if you thought it WAS a date, I don't CARE! I've got more important things to worry about than some girl who's... who's... DATE CRAZY!!!

Delightful Children:
What is the meaning of this?!

Lizzie:
Shut up!

Numbuh 1:
We’ve searched everywhere. Where on Earth could they be?

Numbuh 2:
Um, I think I found them.

Numbuh 1:
Move over! Wow. Well, don't just stand there, Numbuh 2, take one out!

Numbuh 2:
What? I'm not going to touch them, you do it.

Numbuh 1:
As first in command, I order you to pick up that bra!

Numbuh 2:
You first!

Numbuh 1:
Oh, okay. Don't be such a baby! [He picks one up]

Numbuh 1:
[shocked] Ah, this is Battle Ready Armor? It hardly covers anything.

Numbuh 2:
Maybe once you put it on, it produces some sort of protection shield.

Numbuh 1:
Of course, and now that we have their technology, we can use it against them! Just imagine the look on the adult's faces when they find out that the Kids Next Door are wearing bras too!

Numbuh 2:
Um, we don't even know how to use these um... things!

Numbuh 1:
Well, it's obvious you put your head through– Wait. No, that's not it. You, you put your right leg through. No that's not it.

[Numbuh 2 places the bra over his head]

Numbuh 1:
So, do you feel anything?

Numbuh 2 Yeah, [wearing a bra on his head] stupid!

Numbuh 1:
I don’t know. I feel kind of powerful!

Cree Lincoln:
AAH! ARE YOU CRAZY??!

Numbuh 1:
What’s the matter, teenager? Afraid we’ll put your bras to better use?

Cree Lincoln:
[stares at Numbuh 1 with a gaping mouth for a minute] Listen, you little freak, take it off! NOW!

Numbuh 1:
Make us! Right, Numbuh 2?

[Numbuh 2 is hiding under the bed, chuckling nervously]

Cree Lincoln:
I said take them off!

Numbuh 1:
Battle Ready Armor, on! [nothing happens] Uh, Battle Ready Armor, go! [still nothing] Ba-Battle Ready- [Cree grabs him] Ah!

Cree Lincoln:
[spinning him around violently] Take them off, now! [throws Numbuh 1 across the room]

Numbuh 1:
Ugh! [dresser falls on him] Ow!

Cree Lincoln:
I am not playing with you fools!

Numbuh 1:
[trying to get out from under dresser] Battle Ready Armor, activate! [Cree grabs him] Numbuh 2! [she throws him] Ahhh! [comes out of sick drawer] Um, Battle Ready Armor...Help!

Cree Lincoln:
I said, take off my bra! [kicks drawer causing Numbuh 1 to get his head stuck in the ceiling]

Numbuh 1:
[he falls, screaming, then lands on bed, breaking it, then sits up, groaning] Numbuh 2, I could really use some...[Cree grabs him and throws him] Whoa!

Numbuh 5:
[She barges in] What's up with all the racket?

Cree Lincoln:
I caught your two little weirdo friends trying on my bras!

Numbuh 5:
[gives an annoyed look to Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 2] What are you two doing wearing my sister's bras?!

Numbuh 1:
But, Numbuh 5, you don't understand! [falls off dresser] "Bra" stands for "Battle Ready Armor". It's a weapon!

Numbuh 5:
Are you crazy?! A bra is for... ugh, well... girls use it with a strap, and ugh... Look, just go back to the tree house and let me get some sleep!

Numbuh 1:
But what about you? What if enemy operatives try to suck your brain-

Numbuh 5:
GET OUT!

Dr. Lincoln:
Hey! Where are those two goin'? Aww, look. My oldest girl is telling her little sister about bras.

Cree Lincoln:
I have retrieved the information required. Numbuh 5 will awaken tomorrow without realizing her brain's been probed.

Father:
You have done well, my apprentice.

Cree Lincoln:
Thank you, Father.

[After watching the first part of the Rainbow Monkey double feature while at the movie theater…]

Numbuh 4:
[irritated] I can't believe we sat through that junk!

Numbuh 3:
I thought it was wonderful. I can't wait till the second part of the double feature starts!

Numbuh 4:
I'd rather have my arms ripped off and jammed into my ears than sit through all that crud!

Numbuh 2:
Aww, it wasn't that bad, Numbuh 4. I thought it was pretty faithful to the book.

Numbuh 5:
The next one's about to start. Might as well get in there.

Numbuh 4:
Ugh! I'll see you babies later! I'm gonna go check out a real movie!

Numbuh 4:
[gasps in shock] Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb? Knightbrace. Count Spankulot. The Great Putinsky. Mega Mom and Destructo Dad. R-rated movies are really supervillain meeting places?

Toiletnator:
[excitedly] Isn't this the coolest?

Numbuh 4:
[nervously] Uh, yeah. Real cool.

Numbuh 4:
[talking about the "adult movie"] Ahh, it was too over-rated...

Monty Uno:
Son, there's something I - I want to tell you.

Numbuh One:
It's OK, Dad. you don't have to say anything.

Monty Uno:
No, no. This has to be said right, and it has to be said now. Nigel... I think you really need some sousaphone lessons! I mean, did you hear yourself up there?! Pee-yew! Either your sharps were flat and your flats were sharp and wobbly and your fingers were like your positions were like a spider in a windstorm! Eight legs flying everywhere! [Numbuh 1 dunks his head in the lake]

Numbuh 5:
[narrating] But everybody knows that there are three elemental, pure flavors of ice cream: Smooth, creamy vanilla. Rich, decadent chocolate. And sweet, sweet strawberry. But a long time ago, there was a fourth flavor, and it was said to be better than the other three combined. When the Sacred Sect of Dessert Monks created this mystical fourth flavor, they were afraid that everyone would like it so much, that they would eat it all up until there wouldn't be and left for them. So they locked it away. Only the true ice cream lover could have so much as a taste of the fourth flavor, and then, only if they proved themselves worthy by solving the riddle of the Mystical Golden Scoop. [telling a group of kids the backstory legend while visiting a museum] No one knows where the monks locked away the fourth flavor, and few still believe it exists. So the Golden Scoop remains, waiting for the one with the sweet knowledge of frosty goodness to claim the fourth flavor as their own.

[As Cree Lincoln is led away into a KND prison transport for the moonbase]

Numbuh 5:
[tauntingly] So long, sis. Huh! I'll make sure your CDs and [referring to Numbuh 2] your boyfriend are safe.

[Numbuh 5 tries to hit her older sister Cree Lincoln with a flying kick but she grabs her by the leg]

Cree Lincoln:
I know all your moves, Abby. [spins Numbuh 5 around like a lasso as she screams] because I taught them to you! [tosses her younger sister Abby like a rag doll]

Numbuh 4:
[in singsong voice] You stupid hamsters ain't got my soda, cause you're STUPID and I'm so co-ol! [blows raspberry at them]

Numbuh 1:
Go ahead. Put on sunblock! Let's soak up some rays. Oh, hey! I've got an idea! Let's completely forget about investigating this stupid crash and go frolicking in the ocean instead. Ooh! Maybe afterwards we can go and get some yummy funnel cakes and pizza on the boardwalk!

Numbuh 86:
WHAT?! Funnel cakes and pizzas?!

Numbuh 1:
N-n-no, 86, n-n-no, no sir - uh, I mean ma'am, sir. I... I mean, I... I... I thought...

Numbuh 86:
Thinking is what you boys never do! You're just like my idiot brother, always goofing off!

Numbuh 86:
I'll stop him myself! If you want to get anything done you've to do it-- [suddenly realizes she doesn't know how to pilot the S.C.A.M.P.E.R. herself; shouting] Will someone get in here and fly this piece of junk?!

[Sector V hurries inside]

Numbuh 2:
Turbines to speed!

Numbuh 5:
Generators at max!

Numbuh 4:
Weapons on!

Numbuh 3:
Shields on!

Numbuh 1:
Okay, troops! Let's—

Numbuh 86:
Quit wasting time and go!

Numbuh 86:
[to Sector V's boys] Of all the stupid things in this stupid world of stupid people acting stupid, you boys are the stupidliest! It's like you're trying to win a STUPID contest with you too stupid to take a stupidity test! Numbuh 5 and Numbuh 3, we'll track Numbuh 206 on foot.

Numbuh 1:
Hey! What about us?!

Numbuh 86:
Why don't you three try guarding that dandelion there, if you think you can handle it.

Numbuh 2:
Why do we have to keep listening to what she says, anyway?

Numbuh 1:
She's head of decommissioning. She OUTRANKS us.

Numbuh 2:
So what? We're just as good as SHE is.

[Numbuh 1 pauses.]

Numbuh 1:
You know what? You're right! Come on!

[Numbuhs 1,2, and 4 go to the castle to do the mission also. Numbuh 4 looks back at the dandelion for a little while]

[The Delightful Children just got out of the bathroom]

Numbuh 86:
Don't move!

Delightful Children:
What is the meaning of this?

Numbuh 86:
Put your hands where I can see them!

Delightful Children:
[talks randomly]

Numbuh 86:
I'm not going to ask you again!

Delightful Children:
But... we...

Numbuh 86:
Now!

Delightful Children:
Uuuhh... [shows a jar]

Numbuh 86:
W-W-What is that?

Delightful Children:
Here... Um... Our toenails.

Numbuh 86:
T-T-Toenails?!

Delightful Children:
We've been saving them.

Numbuh 86:
You... what?! That's so... disgusting!

Delightful Children:
It's not! It's like... a hobby.

Delightful Children:
Don't just stand there! Help us pick up our toenail collection!

Numbuh 1:
Voila! One fugitive, all wrapped up to go!

Numbuh 86:
That's impossible! You idiots caught Numbuh 206?!

Numbuh 4:
And we kept the dandelion safe too!

Numbuh 86:
[angrily smacks the dandelion out of Numbuh 4's hands] Shut up! There's no way I'm letting you buffoons take credit for my work!

Numbuh 1:
[offended] What are you talking about?! We captured him fair and square!

Numbuh 86:
Ha! If it wasn't for me, you'd still be at the beach trying to figure out how to get sand out of your shorts! So long, you dumb boys. And good riddance!

Numbuh 5:
Hold it, little miss toenail. We ALL caught that guy. Boys AND girls.

Numbuh 86:
Voila! One fugitive all wrapped up to go. And I want it to go on the record, that all credit for this capture goes directly to me! Looks like Numbuh 362's going to give me a big promotion and--

Numbuh 274:
Uh, Numbuh 86?

Numbuh 86:
What?

Numbuh 274:
Uh...

[The unwrapped person who was supposed to be Numbuh 206 is revealed to be Numbuh 362 and she stares angrily at Numbuh 86]

Numbuh 86:
[flabbergasted] Numbuh 362. Uh, sir, I mean, ma'am...

Numbuh 362:
[enraged] You IDIOT! I was this close to getting the Delightful Children's plans! And you attacked me from out of nowhere! Whose side are you on anyways? I'm ashamed to call you a girl! I never thought a girl could be so stupid! You are by far the most idiotic person I've ever, ever, worked with!

Numbuh 86:
Typical! All you had to do is pick up a pizza, and you can't even do that right!

[Sector V arrives at the Delightful Children's mansion in their S.T.A.N.K. vehicle]

Numbuh 1:
Okay, Delightful Dorks, hands where I can see 'em! This year's cake is going to be shared by everyone, except you brats!

Numbuh 1:
[Slides down the crater to Lizzie] Lizzie! Lizzie!

Lizzie:
Yes, Nigie?

Numbuh 1:
[Helps Lizzie up and hugs her] Apology accepted.

Delightful Children:
Thank you all for being here, to watch us have our cake, and eat it too! Oh, look, you're all suffering with mouth watering jealously. How nice.

Numbuh 1:
If we can't all agree on a station, the radio goes off! It's bad enough you brought your little sister on our trip to the Kids Next Door moonbase. We could get in serious trouble!

Numbuh 3:
My mom put me in charge of Mushi while she's at work today, so wherever I go, she goes!

Both:
Best Friends! [having a sweet hug]

Numbuh 4:
Ugh. [to Numbuh 5] Been ever THAT stupid with your sister?

Numbuh 5:
You're joking, right?

[after crashing the V Shuttle]

Mushi:
Do that again, Kuki!

Numbuh 3:
Mushi, what did I tell you?

Mushi:
Oh, yeah. Do that again, please!

Numbuh 1:
Absolutely not!

Numbuh 3:
Well, she DID say please.

Mushi:
What if the aliens... [in a spooky voice] Eat your heads?

Numbuh 1:
There's no such thing as head-eating aliens!

Numbuh 2:
Maybe we should bring weapons... just in case?

Numbuh 4:
And a helmet.

Numbuh 1:
Ugh. And it's supposed to be a simple re-supply mission.

[after Mushi gave a speech about siblings loving each other]

Numbuh 5:
W-What happened to us, Cree?

Cree Lincoln:
I-I-I... I-I don't know. I got older... things change...

Numbuh 5:
You know, when you were in the Kids Next Door, I wanted to be just like you. You were the best, and I was so proud to be your sister.

[the two get teary-eyed and hugged each other]

Cree Lincoln:
Oh, Abby...

Numbuh 5:
Cree...

[after they "made up" with each other]

Numbuh 5:
Cree, there's something I always wanted to say to you.

Cree Lincoln:
What is it, sweet little Abby?

Numbuh 5:
I... [evil smile] Kick your butt!

Cree Lincoln:
Huh? [Numbuh 5 throws her to the trash bin] Ew! [Numbuh 5 laughs] Lucky shot, girl! I was about to do the same thing to you!

Numbuh 5:
Maybe next time. [laughs and ejects the trash bin into space]

Cree Lincoln:
You're so in trouble when I get home!

[Numbuh 1 is being dragged by Numbuhs 2 and 5 while in a swimsuit]

Numbuh 1:
PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! NO! NO! [He is thrown out of the trailer and onto the beach sand] Ughh! I'm serious, guys! The beach is so boring!

Numbuh 4:
How can you say that, Numbuh 1? [He pops his head out of a pile of sand] Look how much fun I'm having!

Numbuh 1:
You're buried up to your neck in sand. [He brushes the sand off his body]

Numbuh 4:
I know. Doesn't that rock?

Numbuh 4:
They've made this PERSONAL by taking Numbuh 3!

Numbuh 2 and 5:
[together] Wally and Kuki sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Numbuh 4:
Stop! It is not like that! [blushes] Numbuh 3, she just, well, ah, owes me a quarter!

Numbuh 5:
Uh-huh, RIGHT.

Numbuh 4:
[smiles] Kuki!

Numbuh 3:
[smiles] Wally!

Numbuh 4:
Now, hang on a minute while I get you outta this.

[He unties her, then they both run out of the castle. Shot then reveals Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 5 are still tied up.]

Numbuh 5:
[angrily] Hel-LO?! Aren't you guys forgetting something?!

Numbuh 3 and 4:
Sorry! [They both run back to help them]

King Sandy:
THE KING DOES NOT PRETEND! Knights! Grab Numbuh 3!

Numbuh 1:
All right, team! Let's not give up hope now!

Numbuh 5:
No problem. Because Numbuh 5 gave up hope a long time ago!

Lenny:
They're onto us! Do you guys happen to have a plan "B?"

Numbuh 1:
The Kids Next Door always have a plan "B!" [presses a soda-can-shaped button labelled "PLAN B" with his fist and a S.U.B.S.T.A.N.D.A.R.D. drops out of the helicopter]

2x4 Tech Computer:
Kids Next Door, S.U.B.S.T.A.N.D.A.R.D.: Super-Underwater-Boat-Swims-Terrifically-Around Nautical-Defenses-And-Rarely-Decompresses.

Numbuh 1:
Run silent, run deep, Numbuh 2.

Numbuh 2:
Aye-aye, captain.

Numbuh 1:
Decommisioning?! I'm nowhere near 13 years old!

Mr. Uno:
Nigel, don't stand up in the boat, Laddie.

Numbuh 86:
That's what they all say, Nigel!

Numbuh 1:
86, you know how old I am. We went to kindergarten together!

Numbuh 86:
And since you won't remember anything that's been said, I'd like to say something on a personal note. [To Numbuh 4, shyly] I've, uh... heh, um... well, uh... always thought you were kind of cute, Numbuh 4.

Numbuh 4:
[smiles, says hopefully] Cute enough not to be decommisioned?!

Numbuh 86:
Not even close!

Numbuh 86:
[swipes the envelope out of Numbuh 1's hand] Give me that! [opens the envelope and reads the letter; shocked] This is an invitation to Numbuh 274's… [gasps] 13th birthday party!

Cree:
Finally, the Kids Next Door Moonbase. Now, I can detach it from the moon, and send it into the sun! Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!

Numbuh 274:
I already tried that. It didn't work.

Cree:
Crud. Time for Plan B.

Numbuh 274:
Thought you could use some help?

Cree:
Sure, kid. Come on.

Numbuh 274:
I'm not a kid! I'm a teenager.