CSI: Miami, Season 5

Cooper:
You know, it suits you.

Calleigh:
What?

Cooper:
Being boss.

Calleigh:
It's temporary.

Cooper:
Okay, Lieutenant Duquesne.

Calleigh:
The payscale'd be nice though. Find me.

[Calleigh leaves the A/V Lab]

Ryan:
Calleigh Duquesne, large and in charge... by large, you know I mean in terms of your reputation, and responsibility, and... you look very beautiful today.

Calleigh:
Well, that's a...that's a nice save.

Jake:
I let you take me down, you know that, right?

Calleigh:
Oh, that's right I forgot, let's see...you were first in our class, the academy star...Only scared of failure.

Jake:
I mean, you could've been first, if you weren't so distracted by that guy you were seeing. What was his name? Oh, yeah, that was me!

Eric:
Natalia, you don't need to ask permission to work a case, okay? Matter of fact, the more you ask, the more we think you can't do it.

Natalia:
Then get out of my way.

Eric:
That's what I'm talking about.

Hawk:
Won't let up, huh? Hard up to get me on something... Hey, I didn't pay the license on my Rottweiler.

Horatio:
Maybe I'll add that to the list.

Jake:
This isn't about you and me, is it?

Calleigh:
I've got one dead ATF Agent, and you're missing your standard-issue firearm. Trust me, Jake--this time, it's all about you.

Eric:
What was Dakota Hudson famous for, anyway?

Calleigh:
Lip synching, club openings, red carpet events...Oh! She was in the video for that Australian band that was from England...

Kevin:
My gun was used to kill someone?

Tripp:
Yeah, any chance you were holding it at the time?

Calleigh:
You know, your knowledge of the fashion world it's--it's impressive. Do you have something you want to tell me?

Tripp:
What? My ex-wife's favorite designer, she put me in hock with that stuff.

Calleigh:
Okay, if that's your story.

Horatio:
Is there a reason Jason would want Steve dead?

Abby:
They're models, they all want to kill each other.

Eric:
Steve carry a cell phone?

Natalia:
He's a model, he probably lived on one.

Natalia:
I don't know, but I just wanna kill him.

Calleigh:
I can understand that, but you might not want to say it out loud.

Calleigh:
I'm sorry, you killed him for a modelling job?

Jason:
I was the one. I had the cheek implants in Mexico, I did the steroids. I risked my life for this look.

Calleigh:
I think that you are going to take a fantastic booking photo.

[After finding a second dead model.]

Alexx:
Wow. Modeling is suddenly the most dangerous job in Miami.

Natalia:
How do we know which balcony?

Eric:
We go old-school.

Natalia:
Which is what?

Eric:
We knock and talk.

Tripp:
First murder on the books in this part of town, not what you bargain for when you buy your chunk of the American dream.

Horatio:
And then your dream becomes a nightmare.

Alexx:
Wound traces are shallow, the cuts almost seem… tentative.

Ryan:
I don't think you can be tentative 8 times.

Daniel Wells:
Are you kidding me? For what these people are doing, they deserve to die.

Horatio:
That's an interesting choice of words.

Ethan:
You don't know what it's like to lose everything.

Horatio:
Ethan, Ethan I do. I've lost everything.

Preston:
You see this? Now you know what I'm up against here. I want police protection.

Horatio:
And you'll probably get it, Mr. Preston... but who's going to protect you from me?

Judge Ratner:
Caine, you ought to know better than that. You can't touch me.

Horatio:
Your Honor, I don't have the slightest desire to.

[A body has disappeared from the morgue, and another left in its place.]

Alexx:
Well, I still don't understand how my body put another body here and walked out of the morgue.

[A body is missing from the morgue.]

Ryan:
You know, what I want to know is how Ed got up and got out of here without anyone seeing him.

Alexx:
Hey! My staff isn't trained to watch the living. I'm more interested in how he got in.

[About putting together the non-melted components of the victim's computer.]

Cooper:
So I frankensteined this little contraption together you see before your eyes. It's my little monster. It's kinda fitting for the case, don't you think?

Calleigh:
Yes, it's very cute. In fact, I can't believe you put all of this together today; it took me a week to set up my TiVo.

[About believing in the "curse."]

Ryan:
Well, ehh...there's a dead guy walking around, and I suffered temporary paralysis and then there was some spontaneous combustion and all that since we brought...this thing in here, so I would have to say yes, Santeria might have something to do with Alyssa's death, sure.

Valera:
Heard someone died twice today. Freaky.

Eric:
Yeah, but I know somebody killed twice today.

Calleigh:
You see, I don't think this place is so scary in the daytime, do you?

Ryan:
What? Nah, come on, I wasn't scared.

Calleigh:
You know I listened to the entire tape, don't you, Ryan?

Ryan:
So, there was an accomplice here?

Calleigh:
[Laughing.] Way to change the subject.

Horatio:
[Walking out of an exploding car.] Burn, baby, burn.

Natalia:
I guess you just... never know when death is coming.

Horatio:
No we don't, and that's why we shouldn't live in fear of it.

[In A/V, going over the beheaded driver's footage.]

Cooper:
Jeez! I really wish I could un-see that.

Calleigh:
I'm sorry, can you play it again?

Tripp:
[About two witnesses who are talking too much.] Hey, hey, hey, shut up! You sound like a couple of busted leafblowers.

Tripp:
Take Tweedledee and Tweedledum here for a ride.

Dunlar:
You know what they'll pay for these cars in Venezuela? Almost three times the sticker.

Horatio:
Now your son's an orphan, what's the price tag on that?

Horatio:
You have quite a history too, which includes a rape charge, doesn't it?.

Gavin:
I was acquitted.

Horatio:
Yes, but that doesn't mean you're innocent, does it?

Alexx:
[To a body.] Look at you, can't wait to grow up its some miracle I don't see more kids like you.

Calleigh:
[To a suspect.] You took her life, now we're going to take yours.

Calleigh:
I cannot believe I took a bullet for you.

Jake:
What are you talking about? I can't believe I shot a man for you!

Calleigh:
I'm the one in pain!

Jake:
I got the emotional scars!

Horatio:
Frank, the war may be staged, but the murder is real.

[Imitating the Marine Recruiter's motto "The competition keeps us frosty. It's the Marine Corps way."]

Ryan:
That's okay. The challenge keeps us frosty. It's the CSI way.

Calleigh:
Emma, it's safe to come out.

Emma:
Did you get him?

Calleigh:
We did.

Emma:
The man in the jacket?

Calleigh:
We got the man in the jacket.

Emma:
I was scared.

Calleigh:
I think that's a very brave thing to admit.

Natalia:
I cannot believe you got here before me. Jump the gun much?

Nick:
How long is it going to take to process before I can get in to clean up?

Natalia:
I don't know, I have no idea. Why, what's the big hurry? Blood's not going anywhere.

Nick:
Got a little lunch date.

Natalia:
Lunch date? Really? Well, then I think I might just take my sweet time.

[Frank stepped on a land mine. The bomb squad has just defused it.]

Tripp:
Well, that's a helluva way to start the day.

Horatio:
[chuckling] And it's only 8 o'clock.

Calleigh:
If you don't mind my asking, if you know how he was killed and when he was killed why did you send his stomach contents to trace?

Alexx:
Calleigh, gut feeling. Okay no pun intended.

Clavo:
Well, you just got me shakin' in my jumps now, H.

Horatio:
This isn't over.

Clavo:
Lieutenant Caine, the master of the obvious.

Ryan:
What about your son? You just left him there?

Gilberto:
What could I do?

Calleigh:
Be a human being for starters.

Clavo:
[To Horatio, pushing him to go into the bank.] Giddy up, cowboy. And get me a mojito while you're in there!

Ryan:
It's not anyone, he's a cop. He's my friend, he's got a name. His name is Eric Delko.

Clavo:
You know what, my friend? You are a serious player! You could learn something from this man, Pop--he never gives up! And I love that about you, Caine.

Horatio:
Clavo, I want you to listen to me. This is your opportunity to turn yourself in.

Clavo:
Over my dead body, Caine.

Horatio:
Then over your dead body it's gonna be.

Suspect:
Clavo said he was gonna give me a hundred grand, I'd finally get to pay my car off.

Ryan:
You put a bullet in my partner's brain. I don't give a damn about your car.

Dr. Mike Lasker:
I needed to be certain before I pointed the finger.

Horatio:
Well, the finger is now pointed at you.

[Eric feels insecure because he made a rookie mistake due to his brain injury, that may have cost them the case.]

Eric:
I came back too soon.

Calleigh:
All right, I'll go this one alone, but we can't make it without you.

[The victim had sex before she died, and Ryan's going to run a DNA sample.]

Ryan:
Okay, I'll run it against the husband.

Alexx:
All the parties on that block, honey, I'd run it against the entire neighborhood.

Tripp:
Yogi over there is one big-ass bear.

Eric:
You know, these guys were all in decent shape, I'm surprised they didn't get a little farther than they did.

Ryan:
Well, they were running for their lives, it was hardly a track meet.

Cooper:
I have a theory. You can tell a lot about a person by what they have on their MP3 player.

Calleigh:
What d'ya got?

Cooper:
With 5 Tori Amos albums on this thing, we're looking for a girl.

Calleigh:
It's a feather!

Eric:
Yeah, it's a feather, from a duck.

Calleigh:
Wait a minute. You're saying that first of all there was a killer bear and now there's a killer duck?

Anna:
You really do believe all that protect and serve stuff, don't you?

Horatio:
It's the only thing...the only thing that I know how to do.

Alexx:
[looking at victim] Shot in the light of day? In a house filled with people? That's cold-blooded, Horatio.

Horatio:
It's as cold as ice.

Alexx:
What d'ya find?

Ryan:
The rest of his head.

Alexx:
Hey!

Ryan:
Yeah?

Alexx:
CSI Wolfe, mitts off, honey. Body parts are mine. Stick to the physical evidence!

Calleigh:
[Seeing a table of food Eric is processing in the lab.] Break room is down the hall, on the right.

Eric|Eric:
Cute.

Supervisor O'Shay:
You can't pull me in here for every crime in Miami.

Horatio:
Not every crime, just the ones you're guilty of.

Anna:
Is this when I get my life back?

Horatio:
It is. And this time, you can't let it get away. Agreed.

Calleigh:
Brody Lassiter, I don't believe it.

Alexx:
You're a fan?

Calleigh:
I only saw Blitzed three times. It's that whole "bad boy" thing; I guess I like it.

Eric:
Well, we're gonna hold you here for a little while, just to make sure of that... I don't trust you actors.

Rod:
I'm a stunt guy!

Calleigh:
It's a guilty pleasure. [Calleigh opens her locker and removes a magazine.] I've not read it yet, but Holly Reese is on the cover. She just went to rehab.

Ryan:
Is that right? I thought she was the one celebrity with a good reputation.

Holly:
I passed out.

Calleigh:
From... what? This is rehab.

Holly:
Uh, yeah, side effect, from being an addict. Sometimes I get blackouts.

Calleigh:
When you need an alibi?

Eddie:
Look man, I didn't do anything.

Horatio:
Everybody's done something Eddie.

[Eric shares his experience after he got shot.]

Eric:
Yeah. I didn't want to ask for anybody's help. I ended up making a few mistakes. But every day, it gets a little better. And it'll get better for you, too. Your friends and your family, they just want to be there for you. You're going to be okay, Jolene.

Jolene:
I guess I'll have to be. Somebody stole my other option.

[The police arrive to stop the Athertons from wrecking their boat with a gun and a chainsaw and order Mr Atherton to put down his weapon]

Hank Atherton:
She's the one with the chainsaw!

Ryan:
These lasers are dividing the whole house in half. The court ordered it until the divorce was final.

Horatio:
Welcome... to divorce... of the future.

[About the feuding divorced couple.]

Tripp:
I'll get a radio car.

Horatio:
Frank, get two cars.

[About her selling his car.]

Laurie Atherton:
...Say "hello"... to half. [Gives him a 100 dollar bill]

Hank Atherton:
$200? It's worth $200,000!

Laurie Atherton:
So, a couple zeros off.

[About the victim.]

Ryan:
Girlfriend? We thought that was your parents' trainer.

Nathan Atherton:
Oh, she was. Until my mom caught them going out a few months ago.

Ryan:
And your mother was very angry about this?

Nathan Atherton:
Not really. She was too busy with the pool guy to really care.

Eric:
Calleigh, I wanted to thank you. For taking care of that girl today.

Calleigh:
It's no problem. You would have done the same thing for me.

Eric:
Yeah. It's just that, uh...you've helped me out a lot this year.

Calleigh:
Well, I appreciate you for appreciating me. [She kisses his cheek]

Ryan:
Mr. Atherton! That's enough. You're under arrest for assault, obstruction of property, and disturbing the peace.

Laurie Atherton:
Throw the book at him, officer!

Ryan:
Mrs. Atherton... book's gonna hit you, too.

Horatio:
Here's the difference between you and me, counselor: the difference is I have a case.

Nathan Atherton:
You know, my mom and dad spent all their time fighting over the possessions, but never once did they ever fight over me.

[The water heater from the burned house lands on Frank's car.]

Tripp:
I just bought that car.

Horatio:
You all right?

Tripp:
Yeah. First it's a damn land mine, now it's a flying water heater. What next?

Horatio:
Next, we catch a killer.

Eric:
[Laughing at Frank after the accident.] Ah, so does the water heater come standard, or is that custom?

Ryan:
Hey Frank, I got your message. What's the emergency?

Tripp:
I got a, uh... suspect that's giving me the silent treatment.

Ryan:
Oh yeah? You need my, uh... superior interrogation skills to work him over?

Tripp:
Keep dreaming, bud. This guy asked for you.

Yelina:
Always looking after me, huh?

Horatio:
And I always will.

Tripp:
City on the hunt, looks like vigilantes took it upon themselves to be the guy's judge and jury.

Horatio:
Judge, jury and executioner.

Calleigh:
Is it just me, or have people gotten a little too casual about seeing a dead body?

Alexx:
It's easier when decomp's at a distance, believe me.

Calleigh:
Yeah, I'm good, I'm good. You look different, must be the eyeliner.

Ryan:
I wear makeup now. You must think it's pretty, uh, pretty silly.

Calleigh:
No, that wasn't the adjective I was looking for.

Eric:
Who was that, Jake?

Calleigh:
Um, yeah, I told him that if people would stop killing each other, we could have a proper meal.

Tripp:
Is this Jason Billings' boat?

Cole:
Yes, it is. Is he in some kind of trouble?

Tripp:
Not anymore. He's dead.

Calleigh:
That's why I bought along our new toy, the profiler. It's electromagnetic, so it picks up more than a metal detector.

Natalia:
Yeah... but so far all we've got is an iPod, four beer bottles and a beach towel. But no fiber glass blister with the drugs.

Ryan:
What do you think I should I do?

Natalia:
Short term: get away from the cameras, and long term: you're just gonna have to decide what your own priorities are.

Natalia:
[About Cole Telford.] Doesn't he work on Jason Billings' boat?

Eric:
I guess, when he's not smuggling heroin from Cuba.

Eric:
You're late, pal. What, did you get, uh, stuck in the makeup chair?

Ryan:
That's very funny.

Paul Billings:
Talked to Sherry?

Tripp:
You shoulda paid her more; she belted it out like an opera singer.

Tony:
I cut my losses, man. Kid didn't want to save his own life, I wasn't about to save it for him.

Horatio:
You're quite a humanitarian, aren't you?

Ryan:
Look, my time here has been, uh...it's been really fascinating. It's been great, but there's someplace else I think I gotta be. There are men and women who put themselves in harm's way every day. It's their lives for ours, and for them, it's not something that they do, it's something that, you know, they are. Now I'm not gonna try and make myself sound so honorable, but I took an oath. I took an oath to protect, the people of Miami, and, uh, I was born to be a cop. And uh, I think I lost that along the way.

Ryan:
I'm not going to abandon this team.

Horatio:
[Puts his sunglasses on.] And we, Mr. Wolfe, are not going to abandon you.

Calleigh:
[To Eric.] You know that I trust you with my life. I don't even know how I feel about Jake yet.

Travis:
Wonder what it feels like to kill a person?

Horatio:
Well, you're in luck.

Travis:
Why?

Tripp:
A police officer died in that van, makes you guilty of felony murder.

Horatio:
So, how does it feel?

Mrs. Wade:
What about my baby?

Calleigh:
Don't worry, Miss Wade, we actually do know how to save people.