Dexter, Season 1

Dexter:
[voiceover] Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen again and again. It has to happen.

Mike Donovan:
I couldn't help myself. I couldn't. Please, you have to understand.

Dexter:
Trust me, I definitely understand. See, I can't help myself either. But children? I could never do that. Not like you. Never … ever … kids.

Mike Donovan:
Why?

Dexter:
I have standards.

Dexter:
[voiceover] Harry was a great cop here in Miami. He taught me how to think like one; he taught me how to cover my tracks. I'm a very neat monster.

Dexter:
[voiceover] There's something strange and disarming about looking at a homicide scene in the daylight of Miami. It makes the most grotesque killings look staged, like you're in a new and daring section of Disney World: Dahmerland!

Dexter:
[voiceover, about the doll parts in his freezer] I suppose I should be upset, even feel violated, but I'm not. No, in fact, I think this is a friendly message, like "Hey, wanna play?" And yes, I want to play. I really, really do.

Dexter:
[voiceover] I can kill a man, dismember his body, and be home in time for Letterman. But knowing what to say when my girlfriend's feeling insecure … I'm totally lost.

Dexter:
We have an elephant in the room, and its name is sex.

Rita:
[laughs weakly] Tell me about it.

Dexter:
Hey, as far as I'm concerned, it can just stay in the corner and mind its own damn business.

Rita:
[softly] Easier said than done.

Dexter:
Yeah, [gently brushes her hair back] but it needs to be right, for both of us. Or it won't be right for either of us. I don't want that, do you?

Rita:
No. [pause] You know, [hugs Dexter tightly] I can't believe I found the one good truly decent man left on the planet.

Debra:
Watching ice melt. This is fun.

Vince:
Stand a little closer, Morgan, and I'll melt your heart.

Angel:
I think he's got a crush on you, Dex!

Dexter:
Huh?

Vince:
Yo, I was talking to Morgan the sister. Vince Masuka only swings one way.

Debra:
Yeah, from vine to vine

Maria:
Enough! Glad to see the sexual harassment seminar really paid off.

Dexter:
[voiceover] My sister puts up a front so people won't know how vulnerable she really is. Me? I put up a front so people won't know how vulnerable I'm not.

Dexter:
[voiceover] The worst thing about finally putting together a puzzle is finding there are missing pieces. He came back and left nothing behind but a message: "Come find me", and I will. There are no secrets in life, just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface.

Dexter:
[voiceover] Most people have a hard time dealing with death, but I'm not most people. It's the grief that makes me uncomfortable. Not because I'm a killer. Really, I just don't understand all that emotion, which makes it tough to fake. In those cases, shades come in handy.

Debra:
I'm real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals. How are you holding up?

Dexter:
I'm managing. [voiceover] No, I'm not. Keeping my face pinched in sorrow for two hours is a real chore.

[At the ice hockey rink]

Dexter:
[voiceover] I knew he'd be back. It feels like Christmas morning. [approaches the body in net] Look at that, a miracle on ice. Stunning.

Angel Batista:
You all right, Dexter?

Dexter:
This is like a dream. [confused look from Angel] Standing on the home ice of the Miami Blades?

Harry Morgan:
When you take a man's life, you're not just killing him. You're snuffing out all the things that he might become. As a cop, I only fire my weapon to save a life - that's a code I live by. Killing must serve a purpose. Otherwise, it's just plain murder.

Dexter:
[voiceover] Harry taught me that death isn't the end. It's the beginning of a chain reaction that will catch you if you're not careful. He taught me that none of us are who we appear to be on the outside. But we must maintain appearances to survive. But there was something Harry didn't teach me. Something he didn't know, couldn't possibly know. The willful taking of life represents the ultimate disconnect from humanity. It leaves you an outsider, forever looking in, searching for company to keep.

Dexter:
[voiceover] Human bonds always lead to messy complications. Commitment. Sharing. Driving people to the airport.

Dexter:
[voiceover] I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. People think it's fun to pretend you're a monster. Me, I spend my life pretending I'm not. Brother, friend, boyfriend - all part of my costume collection. Some people might call me a fraud. Let's see if it will fit. I prefer to think of myself as a master of disguise.

Dexter:
[voiceover] Harry was the only one who saw me, really saw me. So he taught me to hide and that's what's kept me safe. But sometimes I'm not sure where Harry's vision of me ends and where the real me starts. If I'm just a collection of learned behaviors, bits and pieces of Harry, maybe my new friend is right. Maybe I am a fraud.

Dexter:
[voiceover] Everyone hides who they are at least some of the time. Sometimes you bury that part of yourself so deeply you have to be reminded it's even there at all. And sometimes you just want to forget who you are altogether... I'm not the monster he wants me to be. So I'm neither man nor beast. I'm something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I'm Dexter. Boo.

[Dexter is staring off into space at a crime scene]

Dexter:
[voiceover] I like to pretend I'm alone. Completely alone. Maybe post-apocalypse or plague … whatever. No one left to act normal for. No need to hide who I really am. It would be … freeing.

Doakes:
Stop grinning like a f***ing psycho and get back to work!

Officer Gerard:
Freedom's just another word for one more way to get f***ed.

Mindy:
So, are you going to go to the spring formal?

Teenage Dexter:
Why would I want to do that?

[Hurt, Mindy leaves]

Harry Morgan:
She wanted you to ask her to the dance, Dexter.

Teenage Dexter:
That's not what she said.

Harry Morgan:
Well, you have to learn their signals.

Teenage Dexter:
Yeah, well, I don't really care about girls.

Harry Morgan:
Oh.

Teenage Dexter:
I just like being alone.

Harry Morgan:
But most normal people don't, and it's important that you seem normal.

Teenage Dexter:
Even though I'm not.

Harry Morgan:
Because you're not.

Angel:
Don't go down that emotion road, just go down on her. She'll be distracted.

Dexter:
[voiceover, packing supplies for a kill] "Be prepared" - that's my motto. The Boy Scouts and I have that in common. Of course, there's no merit badge for tonight's outing.

Harry Morgan:
Keeping the truth from the people closest to you is how you'll survive, and how you'll protect them if anything goes wrong.

Dexter:
[voiceover] Nothing lasts forever. Just ask a Ford Pinto. Eventually, most serial killers get caught. There's really not much of a retirement plan; but, it can't end like this; it's too soon; I'm not ready.

Debra:
The guy's missing body parts because of this Ice-Truck Killer asshole, and he's still hitting on me!

Doakes' Mother:
That's because men only think with one body part, and that one was not cut off.

Angel:
Sounds like she got what she had coming to her. Personally, I'd like to shake the guy's hand.

Dexter:
[voiceover] Sure, you say that now...

Dexter:
[voiceover] Rita will be devastated if I'm arrested. Her husband was a crack-head and her boyfriend's a serial killer. It's kinda hard not to take that personally.

Dexter:
The FBI estimates that there are less that 50 serial killers active in the United States today. We don't get together at conventions, share trade secrets, or exchange Christmas cards … but sometimes I wonder what it's like for the others.

Dexter:
When'd you first notice it? This darkness inside the guy you fell for?

Rita:
Well, I always knew it was there. I guess I just didn't think I deserved better - until I met you.

[Long pause]

Dexter:
I have a dark side, too. [Rita laughs] What? I do.

Rita:
Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. You're not like Paul; you don't hurt people.

Dexter:
[another pause] Innocent people. I don't hurt innocent people.

Dexter:
The Ice-Truck Killer drains the blood from his victims, freezes the bodies, and only then severs their limbs. It's clean and efficient, that's his psychological signature. Neil Perry, on the other hand, stuffs roadkill.

Debra:
Yeah! And turns 'em into f***ed up fantasy shit.

Dexter:
But the fantasies are all wrong! The guy we're looking for wouldn't turn dead dirty things into living cartoons, he'd find that pathetic.

Debra:
How do you know?

Dexter:
[pause] Because it is pathetic.

Dexter:
[voiceover, about Paul] He might be a crack-addled, wife-abusing yahoo, but he refuses to abandon his kids. I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Dexter:
You killed again. I told you, I warned you. Don't kill anyone who doesn't deserve to die. Why did you do it?

Jeremy Downs:
To feel something different.

Dexter:
Different than what? What do you normally feel?

Jeremy Downs:
Nothing. F***ing nothing at all. I hate every f***ing goddamn second of it. I can't stand it - living my life in my head.

Dexter:
Does killing make it better?

Jeremy Downs:
No. Worse. F***ing worse than ever.

Dexter:
I'm a lot like you, you know.

Jeremy Downs:
[scoffs] Yeah, right. You're a killer?

Dexter:
[gives him a look] I'm empty. But I found a way to make it feel less … bottomless.

Jeremy Downs:
How?

Dexter:
Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be.

Dexter:
[at a crime scene] What are we looking at here?

Angel:
I'm thinking two circus clowns dancing. You?

Dexter:
Nah, looks like a lobster. See the claws?

Angel:
Why do bloodstains always look like crustaceans to you?

Dexter:
I like seafood.

Angel:
Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others.

Scott Solomon:
Meridian? Best thing that's ever happened to me … so far. How about you? You finding him helpful?

Dexter:
I'm a sociopath; there's not much he can do for me.

Scott Solomon:
Cute and funny. Let me guess, taken?

Dexter:
Girlfriend.

Scott Solomon:
Lucky girl.

Dexter:
[voiceover] My therapist wants me to accept the things that are out of my hands. Tragically for him, he's not out of my hands.

Dexter:
[voiceover] I can't have sex with Rita. Every time I sleep with a woman, she sees me for what I really am. Empty. Then she's gone. But I don't want Rita to go, which means I have to deal with this. [pause] I can't kill Meridian yet - I need another therapy session.

Dexter:
I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before.

Dr. Emmett Meridian:
Okay.

Dexter:
I'm a serial killer. [pause] Oh God. That feels … so amazing to say out loud.

Dr. Emmett Meridian:
Well, you must be letting go, 'cause I've never heard you make a joke before.

Dexter:
I'm not joking; I kill people. Whoo. There it is again. [pause] You should try it. I know - your big bad wolf has racked up a tidy little death toll.

Dexter:
[voiceover] I know the truth, because Harry always told me the truth. He had to, he was teaching me principles. A Code. He knew what I would become without it.

Rita:
Hello.

Paul:
Hey babe, it's Paul. Just making sure dear Dexter is dealing decently with his dead dad.

Rita:
We're fine, everyone's fine. Alright, we'll see you on Monday.

Paul:
Talk to me, you having fun? Cause I'm not.

Rita:
Paul.

Paul:
Would've if I'd have taken my kids to the circus. We'd be eating peanuts right now, stepping in elephant shit.

Rita:
Paul, this is not helping my confidence in you.

Paul:
Oh, I think you've got enough confidence for both of us.

Rita:
Look if you want to work towards building more visitation days and not less, you need to avoid this kind of behavior right here. Now I think you might just politely hang up.

Paul:
OK, you're right, I'm sorry. You have a great weekend. [hangs up phone]

[Dexter calls Vince]

Vince Masuka|Vince]]:
Masuka.

Dexter:
Hey, it's Dexter Morgan.

Vince:
Dude, I know your last name.

Dexter:
Yeah, I need a favor. A DNA comparison.

Vince:
I thought you were away for the weekend with the girlfriend. What, she surfin' the crimson wave?

Debra:
[answering her phone] Morgan here.

Vince:
Wait, did I call the hot Morgan by mistake? Freudian. My subconscious has been exposed.

Debra:
Well, zip it up and tell me what's going on.

Debra:
[eating cake] Hey, you want some? It's Kirk Wylocks' cake.

Doakes:
I had some, at Kirk's birthday. 10 days ago. See, if you have lunch every day with your boyfriend, you miss a thing or two around here.

Debra:
Cake's still good; it's mocha, I think.

Doakes:
It started out vanilla.

[Examining a jar of blood received in the mail]

Assistant:
Maybe you should open it.

Dexter:
What if there's an airborne toxin in here waiting to be released?

Assistant:
I've got to wash my hands. [rushes past]

Dexter:
So gullible. ... It's definitely blood.

Dexter:
[voiceover] My sister's right, I don't share my problems with her. Or with anybody. Harry taught me that. Secrecy, self-reliance … and a well-stocked cupboard of Hefty bags.

[After stuffing Paul into the trunk of his car]

Rita:
Where were you?

Dexter:
Taking out the trash.

Dexter:
[voiceover] So this is doom. I've been the architect of so much of it, it's only fair that I should know what the fuss is all about. He left me this room for a reason. Five women gave their blood, their lives for this moment. There's only one way to find out why.

Dexter:
[voiceover] I've never had much use for the concept of Hell, but if Hell exists, I'm in it. The same images running through my head over and over. I was there. I saw my mother's death. A buried memory forgotten all these years. It climbed inside me that day, and it's been with me every since. My Dark Passenger.

Rudy/Brian:
[while gift-wrapping dismembered parts] Deck the halls with parts of bodies, fa la la la la, la la la la.

Dexter:
[voiceover] Thinking Rudy attacked Batista doesn't make any sense. He's a loving boyfriend, he spends his life helping people in need. He brought me steaks. [lock-picking attempt thwarted] Now, that's just rude. Why would loving and helpful Rudy need an industrial-grade lock? And a security camera?

Rudy/Brian:
Debra Morgan, will you marry me?

Debra:
I knew it, I f***ing knew it!

Rudy/Brian:
Is that your version of a yes?

Rudy/Brian:
You know the one thing I've been dying to ask you? How did you not know who I was? You're a cop.

Debra:
This isn't funny.

Rudy/Brian:
I think a real cop would at least have a sense she was in the presence of the person she was hunting.

Dexter:
I've lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see.

Debra:
[sobbing] This isn't you.

Rudy/Brian:
Pretty sure it is.

Debra:
No, no there's more. I've seen it.

Rudy/Brian:
I never wanted to hurt you.

Debra:
I know. I know.

Rudy/Brian:
[pause] Does this make it easier for you? Because I can keep going.

Rudy/Brian:
I just wanted to have a beer with you before we got started. Made that kind of difficult.

Dexter:
Sorry.

Rudy/Brian:
You don't ever have to apologize to me, Dexter. Not for who you are, or anything you do.

Rudy/Brian:
Your victims. Are they all killers?

Dexter:
Yes.

Rudy/Brian:
Harry teach you that?

Dexter:
He taught me a code. To survive.

Rudy/Brian:
Like an … absurd avenger?

Dexter:
That's not why I kill.

Rudy/Brian:
You can be yourself around me. Who. Am. I?

Dexter:
A killer. Without reason or regret. Free.

Rudy/Brian:
You can be that way too.

Dexter:
But the code …

Rudy/Brian:
[laughs] Dex! You don't have a code. Harry did. Now he's been dead ten years. You can't keep - keep him sitting on your shoulder like Jiminy F***ing Cricket! You need to embrace who you are now.

Dexter:
I don't know who I am.

Rudy/Brian:
'Course you don't. You've been away from your family since you were three. But I'm here now. I can help you. We can take this journey together.

Dexter:
I can't. Not Deb …

Rudy/Brian:
No - no, don't say that.

Dexter:
I'm very … fond of her.

Rudy/Brian:
You can't be a killer and a hero. It doesn't work that way!

Dexter:
[voiceover] Sometimes I wonder what it would be like for everything inside me that's denied and unknown to be revealed. But I'll never know. I live my life in hiding. My survival depends on it.

Debra:
Dex, you are all the family that I have, and I barely know you. So, if you're going to eat steaks with somebody after a rough day, somebody's going to break through your fucking walls, I think it should be me! I think I have earned it!

Doakes:
Surprise, motherfucker!

Dexter:
Are you following me now?

Doakes:
You better have a hell of a reason for being here.

Dexter:
I'm looking for my sister.

Doakes:
In a cargo box?

Dexter:
Yeah. I'm kinda working on a theory.

Doakes:
You forget your work for the fucking cops!? We love theories! Come on! Spin me a story, asshole!