Downton Abbey, Series Five (1924)

Note:
Season Five begins in April, 1924 and ends on December 25, Christmas Day, 1924.

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
She's just rung up and asked herself for tea!

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Do people think we're a public house on the Great North Road?

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
Principles are like prayers: noble, of course, but awkward at a party.

Jimmy You think I'm mad, don't you?

Mr. Barrow:
Doesn't matter what I think.

Jimmy:
Maybe she just wants to talk.

Mr. Barrow:
Maybe I'm the missing tsarevitch.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Mary, you take [the children]. Tony, go with her. Tom, come with me! You know where the sand buckets are kept. Good God! Barrow, is she alright?!....We must get her outside. Quickly, Tom! Tom, get the hose! Rose, go up and wake Mrs. Hughes and the maids! She'll do the rest. We must alert the estate firemen....And save the dog!!

Lady Edith Crawley:
Have you had any ideas?

Mr. Drewe:
Yes and it's a simple one: You're going to take a great interest in little Marigold, milady.

Isobel Crawley:
How are you getting on with repairing the fire damage?

Lady Edith Crawley:
They're all being marvelous, but I do feel such an idiot.

Lady Mary Crawley:
Maybe because you behaved like an idiot.

Lady Mary Crawley:
I have to be sure there aren't any...consequences.

Anna:
What sort of consequences?

Lady Mary Crawley:
Well...you know.

Anna:
No, I don't. [pause] Oh, my God! Umm, I beg your pardon my lady.

Lady Mary Crawley:
Well you see, I can't just go into a shop and buy something. What if I were recognized?

Anna:
Well, I wouldn't know what to buy....Won't he take care of it?

Lady Mary Crawley:
I don't think one should rely on a man in that department, do you?

Daisy:
Why do you have to make everything sound so nasty all the time?

Mr. Barrow:
I'm nasty about Miss Baxter because she came here to help and support me and she's broken her word.

Daisy:
I doubt that's how she'd put it.

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
I must remember to organize a car to meet Charles Blake and his friend. They'll be here at tea time.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Do people think we're some sort of hotel who never presents a bill?

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
You've already made that joke.

Mr. Carson:
I don't like it when we're not on the same side.

Charles Blake:
I loved Rose's definition of ordinary life--dancing and shopping and seeing one's friends.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Tell your friend Mr. Bricker to stop flirting with Isis! There is nothing more ill-bred than trying to steal someone else's dog!

Daisy:
Why is it called a wireless when there are so many wires?

...

Mrs. Patmore:
If I touch it, will I get a shock?

Mr. Carson:
You'll only get a shock if you listen to it.

Lady Mary Crawley:
How did you manage to get the rooms connected?

Lord Gillingham:
Well, I'm not a complete half-wit. Nor, happily, is the manager.

Lady Mary Crawley:
Darling Granny, you know how much I value your advice--

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
Which means you intend to ignore it.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
Like all Englishmen of his type, he hid his qualities beneath a thick blanket of convention.

Lady Mary Crawley:
We don't know each other exactly--

Mabel Lane Fox:
But we certainly know of each other.

Mrs. Patmore:
As for his so-called cowardice, that were like a wound in battle--a wound to his brain--so he didn't know what he was doing! He were a good and decent lad.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Of course he was.

Mrs. Patmore:
Doesn't that make him a casualty of war, m'lord? Same as our William or any of them?

Charles Blake:
I was never the type to die of a broken heart. I'm sorry if that offends you.

Lady Mary Crawley:
On the contrary. I only hope Tony feels the same.

Charles Blake:
Goodness. I wasn't expecting that. [pause] I wish I could work you out.

Lady Mary Crawley:
I wish I could work me out.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
I would never suggest anything that is not in your interest.

Lady Edith Crawley:
In my interest, or the family's?

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
To me, they are the same.

Lady Edith Crawley:
That is where we differ.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
What do you mean a man's opened a colony in Essex?

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Not that sort of colony, Mama. It's for people who want to take all their clothes off.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
In Essex? Isn't it terribly damp?

Lady Rosamund Painswick:
Would that make a difference?

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
Well yes, if you had no clothes on.

Tom Branson:
My vision of this country and where it should be headed is different from yours....I believe in reform, and the moral direction of the left.

...

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
I would only say this, Tom: In your time here, you've learned both sides of the argument, befriended people you'd once have seen as enemies.

Tom Branson:
That's true.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
You should be proud. Five years ago would you have believed you could be friendly with my mother?

Tom Branson:
Not sure I would've believed it five minutes ago.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Don't make nothing of what you've achieved, that's all.

Atticus Aldridge:
You must have a very sweet tooth.

Lady Rose McClare:
Oh, no they're not for me! I give tea to some Russian refugees every Tuesday and Thursday. They love cake.

Atticus Aldridge:
I love cake.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Who was that on the telephone?

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
Simon Bricker.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Oh God. What does he want?

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
I shall answer without commenting on your tone. He wants to have the painting photographed for his book.

Mrs. Hughes:
But why did you ask him?

Mrs. Patmore:
Because he's a man, I suppose.

Mrs. Hughes:
I'm not sure that's a good enough reason.

Mrs. Patmore:
Nor am I, now. But I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Mrs. Hughes:
I wish men worried about our feelings a quarter as much as we worry about theirs.

Lady Rosamund Painswick:
I'm afraid you've read somewhere that rudeness in old age is amusing, which is quite wrong, you know.

...

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
We both know you are not leaving my house until I learn the truth. So shall I have a bed made up for you here, or are you doing to tell me now?

Mr. Drewe:
I'm trying to bring her around, but I wish you hadn't jumped the gun.

Lady Edith Crawley:
I know. But I had some bad news today and I needed to see her.

Mr. Drewe:
You mean you were right about Marigold's father? I'm very sorry to hear it. But if you could just give me some time...

Lady Edith Crawley:
I don't have time, Mr. Drewe!

Lady Mary Crawley:
Granny, what do you think?

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
Oh, it is you. I thought it was a man wearing your clothes.

Tom Branson:
It suits you.

Papa, do you agree?

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
It's certainly just the sort of thing I'd expect of you.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
All this endless thinking. It's very overrated.... I blame the war. Before 1914, nobody thought about anything at all.

Tom Branson:
Oh God, Edith! Won't you wait and talk to them about it?

Lady Edith Crawley:
If I talked to anyone, it'd be you.

Tom Branson:
Then talk to me, please!

...

Lady Edith Crawley:
I can't stay, Tom. Not if I'm ever going to be happy at all.

Mrs. Drewe:
It's lunacy! You've lost your mind!

Lady Edith Crawley:
Tell her!

Mr. Drewe:
It's true. Marigold's her daughter.

Mrs. Drewe:
It's a lie! I don't know what she's holding over you, but you can't let her get away with it!

Lady Edith Crawley:
I have a copy of her birth certificate. It's in French, but you can read my name clearly enough!

Mr. Drewe:
Which was brave of you.

Lady Edith Crawley:
My aunt wanted me to use a false one, but I knew I might need proof.

Mrs. Drewe:
Give that to me! [tears it up]

Lady Edith Crawley:
I have others!

Mrs. Drewe:
You've cooked this up between you!

Mr. Drewe:
That's enough. We've got nothing formal that gives us any claim over her.

Mrs. Drewe:
Only a note from her dying father!

Mr. Drewe:
Which I wrote.

Mrs. Drewe:
How could you do this? I'm your wife, yet you have lied and cheated and used me shamefully! If you had taken a mistress you couldn't have been more false!

Lady Edith Crawley:
Mrs. Drewe, I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm very grateful.

Mrs. Drewe:
No, I don't bloody want to hear it!

[at a horse-racing event]

Atticus Aldridge:
Let me not fall in front of Rose.

Lady Mary Crawley:
I'm glad her opinion matters.

Atticus Aldridge:
I'd rather not look like a fool quite yet. She can discover it gently.

Isobel Crawley:
I think she's splendid!

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
I think she's cracked.

Lady Edith Crawley:
[looks at her illegitimate daughter in her arms] Well, we're together, darling. And I know it's not ideal, but it's such an improvement on being apart that I think we should celebrate. I'll order ice cream, and a glass of champagne, and we'll be as jolly as you like!

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
I've been awake the whole night. There's only one thing we can say. We have to tell Cora.

Lady Rosamund Painswick:
Well, isn't that rather a betrayal?

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
If anything happens to Edith and Cora learns later we knew all along, she would never forgive us. And I wouldn't blame her. You see, as a mother it is her right.

Lady Rosamund Painswick:
But you don't plan to tell Robert? He is Edith's father.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
He's a man. Men don't have rights.

Lady Mary Crawley:
What's the matter, Granny?

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
I'm just worried about Edith.

Lady Mary Crawley:
Oh, I can't think why.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
My dear, a lack of compassion can be as vulgar as an excess of tears.

Lady Mary Crawley:
How are you, Spratt? Well, I hope.

Mr. Spratt:
Everyone has their troubles, m'lady.

Lady Mary Crawley:
Oh, dear.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
Spratt has been helping to train my new maid, Denker.

Mr. Spratt:
I'd say she takes after the dachshund, m'lady.

Lady Mary Crawley:
In what way?

Mr. Spratt:
She's quite untrainable.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
[disapproving] Spratt.

Lady Mary Crawley:
You needn't pretend. Your positions have changed. You the widow in the Dower House, Isobel a great lady presiding over a great house. But you simply have to be bigger than that.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
Is that what you think of me? That I care about her change of rank?

Lady Mary Crawley:
Well, you're not exactly pleased, are you?

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
[soft] No. But that is not the reason.

Lady Mary Crawley:
Then what is?

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
Well, if you must know, I've got used to having a companion. A friend. You know, someone to talk things over with.

Lady Mary Crawley:
Well, you'll still have us.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
You have your own lives and so you should. But Isobel and I had a lot in common [wistful] and I shall miss that.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Edith is obsessed with that child.

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
She's a dear little thing.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
So she is. But as a matter of fact, there is something about her.

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
About Marigold? What?

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
I don't know. A sense of déjà vu. Can't quite put my finger on it.

Lady Rose McClare:
Daddy, Mummy, this is Atticus.

Atticus Aldridge:
How do you do?

Susan MacClare, Lady Flintshire:
What a peculiar name. [walks away]

Susan MacClare, Lady Flintshire:
Tell me, do you find it difficult these days to get staff?

Rachel Aldridge, Lady Sinderby:
Not very. But then, we're Jewish, so we pay well.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
I've realized today what it is about Marigold that keeps catching my eye.

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
Oh, yes? What's that?

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
She reminds me of Michael Gregson. Just tell me if I'm wrong.

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
You're not wrong. Don't tell Edith you've guessed.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Why not? It certainly makes things a little clearer than they were.

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
Just don't, not yet. Mary doesn't know either nor Tom. Please let it be Edith's secret a little while longer.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Very well. I must say it's an unusual sensation to know there's a secret in this house I'm actually privy to. But I'll be silent if you wish.

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
And you'll love her? Your new granddaughter?

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
I think, and perhaps to my surprise, I rather think I will.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
I don't know why you're making such a fuss, Mama. You'd visit Denker if she were locked up.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
Only to check if the locks were sound.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
The English have strong principles except when it comes to good shooting or eating well.

Isobel Crawley:
I think you'll enjoy Paris.

Prince Kuragin:
Many of our countrymen have settled there. Of course, they've lost everything, but so have we.

Princess Kuragin:
Including the will to live.

Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess:
I will never again receive an immoral proposition from a man. Was I so wrong to savor it?

Lady Edith Crawley:
Papa? Is something the matter?

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
No, nothing's the matter, and that's what I want to make clear.

Lady Edith Crawley:
I don't understand. What's this about?

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Marigold.

Lady Edith Crawley:
I see. And what do you have to say about Marigold?

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
I think you know what I want to say--what I want you to say.

Lady Edith Crawley:
I can't give her up.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
No, of course not.

...

Lady Edith Crawley:
I want your forgiveness, Papa. Am I allowed to say that still?

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
It's not the way I would have things. I won't lie to you about that, but this is what's happened. I believe Michael Gregson was an honorable man.

Lady Edith Crawley:
Oh, he was, Papa! He really was. He would have married me as soon as he could. I know that!

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
I think so, too. So now we must do our best for his child. For his sake as well as yours.

Lady Edith Crawley:
That's so lovely of you.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
But I think we should keep it in the family. Even in 1924, there are plenty of people who might be unpleasant.

Lady Edith Crawley:
But do you forgive me, Papa?

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Oh, my darling, I'm sure I need your forgiveness quite as much as you need mine.

Lady Edith Crawley:
No burning ambitions?

Bertie Pelham:
Not really. I'm always jealous of those chaps who fly the Channel or invent a cure or something. What about you? Are you pining for some unfulfilled dream?

Lady Edith Crawley:
Not today. Today I feel very happy.

Henry Talbot:
Be a sport and forgive me. I'm here for the night and I don't want you scowling at me through dinner.

Lady Mary Crawley:
I shall scowl if I think you deserve it.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
[regarding Rose] She'll love you forever, if you'll let her. That's who she is.

Daniel Aldridge, Lord Sinderby:
I know that now. How stupid not to have seen it before.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
You'll be pleased to hear that I am not about to have a heart attack. Your father has an ulcer.

Lady Mary Crawley:
Oh, that's a relief!

Lady Edith Crawley:
Well, yes, it is a relief, but you've got to be good with your diet.

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
Well said, we'll take it seriously. White fish, chicken, no alcohol--

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Steady on!

Cora Crawley, Lady Grantham:
Please be careful on Christmas Eve if you do decide to drink. You'll get plastered on a snifter of sherry.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Ah, paradise.

Tom Branson:
What do you say we take a moment to think of Sybil? We're the three left on Earth who loved her the most.

Lady Edith Crawley:
And Mama and Papa.

Tom Branson:
But we were the three who should have grown old with her....And who knows when we'll be together again.

Lady Mary Crawley:
Darling Sybil, wherever you are, we send you all our love and kisses, for the happiest of Happy Christmases.

Mr. Carson:
But that's the point.

Mrs. Hughes:
What is?

Mr. Carson:
I do want to be stuck with you.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Now, what should Marigold call me?

Sybbie:
Donk.

Robert Crawley, Lord Grantham:
Oh, why not? She can call me "donk." And when she does I'll be reminded of you.