Dragon Ball

Goku:
Where is your tail? [Searching for tail in Bulma's butt]

Bulma:
You little freak! What do you think you are doing!

Goku:
Hey! It looks like now is a good time to do a little tail fishing!

Bulma:
Hey, what's that horrible smell? [pinches her nose] Ugh, you need a bath, Goku!

Goku:
Uh... what's a bath?

Bulma:
Oh, kid! I can't believe you're asking! Come on, let me show you.

Bulma:
Goku, why do you have a tail growing?

Goku:
Well I don't really know why I just know all boys have 'em.

Goku:
to Turtle: Gosh! Are woman like this where you come from?

Turtle:
No, most have tails.

Turtle:
Have you forgotten the code, Master? Please, that's wrong. Dead wrong!

Roshi:
Oh, hush up, will you? Can't a master take a break from training, and have a little fun?!

Turtle:
Now I understand why you couldn't ride your cloud...

Roshi:
Bite your tongue!

Bulma:
This is so embarassing... I can't believe I'm doing this. [lifts up her gown and shows herself to Roshi]

Bulma:
Hey, watcha doin'? I wouldn't do that if I were you...

Bulma:
Man, I never thought things ever go this well! We really need 3 more Dragon Balls. I guess it was meant to be, kiddo. [Bulma enters the house]

Goku:
Ah, wow! I wish my grandpa could see me now! [hears Bulma screaming that her panties was in the house, and gets off Nimbus] Hold on, Bulma! I'm coming! [enters the house] What's going on in here? What's wrong?

Bulma:
[while holding her panties in her hand, feeling scared] M-My underwear was here on the floor... I'm afraid to look... [feels herself if she has been wearing her panties] They're not there! [Bulma feels embarrassed] Oh, that means on that beach, that old man... Oh boy...

Goku:
Oh, is that all? Well, that's okay, Bulma. That's where I put them.

Bulma:
What are you talking about?

Goku:
After I took 'em off this morning.

Bulma:
Are you saying that you took my underwear off while I was sleeping this morning? Huh?

Goku:
I sure did.

Bulma:
[shows Goku a pair of panties in her hands] These underwear?!

Goku:
Yup. They're the ones! [sees Bulma set up the MAC-11] What are you doing, Bulma? [Bulma uses the MAC-11 on Goku]

Oolong:
Why did you do that?!

Goku:
...But I didn't do anything.

Oolong:
My pig appeal gets them every time.

Goku:
You're appealing barbequed.

Oolong:
Don't ever mention barbeque around me again! Getting skewered is no laughing matter among us pigs!

Yamcha:
I know what's under here.. Dragonballs.. [attempts to grab to feel what Dragonball feels like, but it appears to be Bulma's breasts] Odd, they seem kinda flimsy...

Oolong:
If that little imp catches me up here, he's sure to squeal to Bulma, and fry my bacon GOOD!

Oolong:
She's a girl and we're guys. And we're gonna wanna wish for some guy things, like a harem, with 300 girls!

Goku:
Golly. Why would you want to have 300 girls?

Oolong:
How's that kid?

Goku:
Well, can you imagine what it'd be like having 300 Bulmas to listen to?

Bulma:
Quiet. Listen... I promised that old goat I'd take some stupid walk with him around his island. Well, I just don't have time for that. I need you to change shape and take my place.

Oolong:
Rrrngh!

Bulma:
No arguing! You do it, or I'll say the "P" word!

Oolong:
Now you listen here, sister! Go ahead and do your worst, because I will not stoop that low! I do have some semblances of dignity left!

Bulma:
Okay. Have it your way, piggy.

Oolong:
All right, all right. I'll do it.

Oolong:
(to Bulma) You were a lot nicer when you were a carrot, you know.

Pilaf:
That trap didn't work! Who designed that trap anyway?

Mai:
It wasn't me, sire.

Pilaf:
I want the name of the fool who designed it!

Mai:
It was you.

Bulma:
Ah! Why did you do that?

Yamcha:
I thought you were a bat.

Puar:
Yamcha, why are your pants wet?

Goku:
It could be a trap!

Yamcha:
Why would they set another trap for us if we're already trapped?

Pilaf:
(to Bulma) I'll have you know I got my degree in torture, I am a certified master of torture!

Bulma:
What is that?

Pilaf:
Not what, who!

Bulma:
(referring to Giant Pinball) You just had to open your big mouth!

Oolong:
(sarcastically) Yeah, like I knew it had an IQ.

Oolong:
You'd think he'd at least give us a last request.

Bulma:
Well, I have a last request. Oolong would you please shut up!?

Pilaf:
I want supreme...

Oolong:
... Comfort in a pair of underwear!

Goku:
I think I'm gonna go to Master Roshi's and train like my grandpa did. I wanna get strong!

Bulma:
But Goku, you're the strongest kid I know!

Goku:
I know, but when I hit that castle it didn't even shake, so if someone else can come along and tear the whole thing down, I really need to go and train.

Krillin:
So who are you anyway, his pupil?

Goku:
Yeah, I'm Goku!

Krillin:
Hmm, doesn't seem that you like fighting.

Goku:
I like marsh mellows!

Krillin:
What's that gotta do with anything?

Goku:
Well I'm hungry, and your bald head looks like one.

Krillin:
What did you say? Didn't you know that everyone who's serious about martial arts shave their head? Look at Master Roshi, he shaves!

Roshi:
Nope, I'm naturally bald.

Krillin:
[while running to the house] Hello? Hello? Man at the door!

African-American Woman:
Huh? Where's the man?

Krillin:
I'm the man, ma'am. And I need to borrow a pen. It's an emergency.

African-American Woman:
A pen?

Krillin:
Yes, please.

Roshi:
[while proving that the stone has the kanji written by Krillin, and throws it at his head] Nice try, lame-o! But it is not my handwriting!!! Now get out!

Krillin:
[runs out of the house] Sorry!

Lunch:
[to Goku] What are you doing in my bed, you pervert?!

Goku:
We slept here, sir. We only got two blankets...

Lunch:
Lame excuses, you little hedgehog! [trying to shoot Goku with a gun]

Goku:
[thinking] Why can't I drink the milk?

Roshi:
That's not a lap, Krillin! You forgot to touch the other side of the shore!

Krillin:
Are you kidding me?!

Announcer:
This will be single elimination, in a full regulation sized arena. You lose if you fall outside of the ring, stay down for ten counts, or give up. But poking in the eyes or hitting in the private parts are not allowed!

Goku:
What parts are private?

Announcer:
You know what I mean, it's the thing that makes us boys!

Krillin:
Who's the stink bucket?

Yamcha:
That's Bacterian, he's got Herculian strength but that comes second to his offensive odor, they say he's never taken a bath since the day he was born! His opponents can only fight with one hand because the other one has to hold their nose, he takes advantage of this to win!

Goku:
Focus your mind and you won't smell him. Just focus. Krillin! You don't even have a nose!

Goku:
Can I have another bowl, please?

Roshi:
I think you've had enough for today.

Goku:
Yeah, I guess you're right...I need to save room for desert!

Krillin:
I looked through every bathroom stall in a seven mile radius!

Yamcha:
Where is he?

Bulma:
Have you tried the lady's room?

Goku:
Ah, so you are a boy!

Nam:
Yes, I am.

Goku:
Sometimes it's hard to tell.

Nam:
Just so you know, the people in my village greet each other by shaking hands.

Chi-Chi:
Goku! What about the Wedding?

Goku:
I'll be back; I'll try some of that next time! Goodbye!

Chi-Chi:
Goku!

Goku:
See ya later, Chi-Chi!

Chi-Chi:
Goku! Wedding is not a food!

Murasaki:
What was that? N-no, surely you do not defy me!

Android 8:
Yes, excuse me, but I hate violence.

Murasaki:
I don't remember asking for your opinion! Your job is to spread mayhem, not philosophy!

Goku:
Wow, look at that lady. She's beautiful!

Bulma:
That's a statue, Goku.

[after a Hoipoi capsule pops out a full of pornography magazines, Goku startled, and one of the magazines landed on Goku's face]

Goku:
Gosh, how sad... These girls must be poor... They can't afford clothes...

Bulma:
[while very angry] Those girls are not poor kid!

Goku:
They're not?

Bulma:
No, sir! Now gimme that! [snatches a magazine from Goku's hands] Isn't there a man on this whole planet with a shred of... decency?! Men are animals! [tearing up all the magazines]

Goku:
Bulma?

Bulma:
What?!

Goku:
I'm going to get that Dragon Ball. Be right back!

Captain:
Tear the house apart! I want those Dragonballs!

Roshi:
And I can see why. You're obviously lacking in the ball department.

Launch:
What are you trying to do, poison me? You call that stuff food? In case I forgot to mention it, I'm allergic to garbage!

Goku:
No wonder the fish is so sad, all he can see is blue!

Blue:
And our B-unit was defeated by an old scientist, a wild woman and a turtle armed with a branch!

Bulma:
We can always use Krillin's bald head as a flashlight

Krillin:
Funny Bulma.

Goku:
Quick, untie me!

Launch:
This rope is so tight.

Roshi:
There's a new invention, it's called a knife!

Bulma:
(tied up) What is this stuff?

Lunch:
Are you playing a game?

Bulma:
Yeah it's called staying alive!

Lunch:
Where did you get the blue rope from?

Policeman:
(to Goku) Hey, you were flying pretty fast. Do you have a permit for that cloud?

Roshi:
(referring to Goku) He may very well be stronger than me now.

Bulma:
Why did you bring flowers to a battle any way?

Oolong:
Because it's not a battle, it's a funeral.

Master Roshi:
When one little boy can cripple a deadly empire with its superior firepower and resources, I not only think the word invincible applies, I think he defines it!

Master Roshi:
His name may sound funny, but, I can assure you, there's nothing humorous about that savage beast. With him came darkness and chaos. His minions of terror wreaked havoc upon the land, destroying all in their path with indiscriminate fury. No one knew what they wanted or why they had come. But they were here; laughing as our world crumbled around them. Piccolo and his army destroyed one city after another with little opposition - except for one temple.

It was in this secluded sanctuary the beast faced a meager, but determined, school of martial artists. As the horde invaded the temple, the young fighters banded together for a final assault. Though hopelessly outnumbered, they were united. And with their combined strength, they offered a formidable defense. Many demons fell that day and alongside them - even more great men. When the battle was over, only two of the warriors were left standing:
Myself and Crane Hermit.

Unfortunately, the skirmish had barely made a dent in Piccolo's forces. Desperate and out of time, we concentrated our energy into a shield that absorbed the enemy fire. And, with a breath of luck, reflected it back at them. One bright light. That's all I remember. But somehow, it worked. The horde was vanquished. It was finally over, or so we thought.

Apparently, the monsters were just an opening act for King Piccolo himself. We barely got a glimpse of his ugly mug before he dismissed us with a wave of his hand. Against his might were but rag dolls caught in a storm. Shin and I were young and in our prime. We gave everything we had and still King Piccolo prevailed. All those lives lost and we didn't lay a scratch on him. He was immune to everyone, even Mutaito.

Bulma:
Who's Mutaito?

Master Roshi:
He was my master.

King Piccolo:
Now, let's try this once more. [King Piccolo kicks Goku in the chin, sending Goku flying into the air. Piccolo then jumps into the air after Goku and punches him back down to the ground. After Goku slams into the ground, King Piccolo picks him up by the neck.]

King Piccolo:
Nice. You're still alive. I was hoping this would last a good while.

Goku:
[Clearly in pain] I'm...feeling fine.

King Piccolo promptly punches Goku in the face

King Piccolo:
What's wrong? No witty comeback?

Piano:
Sire, don't you think it would be prudent to leave for Sector 28 now? We know the outcome of this fight. There's no need to stick around.

Piccolo:
Wait, not yet. Relax, Plano. There's always time to enjoy a good slaughter!

Goku:
Hey wait, something about you is different!

Piccolo:
Good of you to notice. I've been rejuvenated. Do you know what that means? Let's just say I'm somewhere between invincible and immortal!

Piccolo:
(to Drum) Finish him off and make it as painful as possible!

Piccolo:
Why must I continually deal with these human fools? If it weren't for but a handful of annoying warriors, this invasion would be so pleasant. There's nothing more aggravating than an inferior adversary who confuses pure luck with prowess

Yamcha:
No way! You mean he was really that powerful out there?

Tien:
It's true. Even I'm no match for him anymore. As far as I can tell, he must be the most powerful guy in history

Mr. Popo:
(to Goku) It's a shame that you have such great power yet you make such poor use of it. You need to learn control. Only then will you be able to past this test and meet with Kami.

Goku:
With this punch, you'll give up!

Mr. Popo:
Oh, got you again. You're not very strong. Please, are you actually the same guy who defeated Piccolo?

Goku:
I am strong! So you take that back!

Mr. Popo:
You're...weak.

Tien:
Goku, our last fight against Piccolo showed I was nothing compared to you. But if a kid can reach such powers, think of what a trained master can do. At the next World Martial Arts tournament, I will surpass you!

Goku:
I can't believe it! That hurt even more than Piccolo's punches!

Mr. Popo:
Yes. You beat him and so you assumed you were the toughest in the world. But learn this now: no matter how strong you are, there will always be someone stronger who comes along. To stay on top, you must keep pushing past what you think is strength.

Goku:
My brain hurts when I think too much.

Bulma:
We thought you'd been destroyed, Mr. Dragon!

Shenlong:
Kami saw that Goku's purpose was noble and so he chose to resurrect me.

Shenlong:
Where is Goku?

Shenlong:
Kami has chosen Goku for an important task. He is now training at the Lookout. You will see him again at the next tournament.

Mr. Popo:
You must be like a stone.

Goku:
A stone?

Mr. Popo:
Calm and still, so the rain and wind cannot move you. You see?

Goku:
Oh, that's easy! How's this? (pretends to be a stone)

Mr. Popo:
Stones do not have voices!

Goku:
Ow! You're making my head bumpy!

Mr. Popo:
Nor do they feel pain.

Krillin:
Can't you see we're desperate? You're the only one here who can give us guidance.

Roshi:
Alright. There is one thing I can tell you. You boys will never be a match for Goku unless you change your routine!

Goku:
I did it! I mastered my mind training and defeated the doll!

Mr. Popo:
Not exactly. It was just good timing, the doll's energy ran out.

Goku:
I was wrong, Popo. We're not the same. He's much stronger than me.

Mr. Popo:
Listen to me, Goku. It is as I told you before dear boy, your speed and skill are matched evenly with the doll. It's just that you haven't finished your mind training.

Goku:
Mind training...

Mr. Popo:
A warrior's strength is always important in a battle, but it's not enough. The mind is also a powerful weapon and must be developed just like your muscles. If you do not master your mind training, you will never be able to defeat the doll!

Goku:
Master, did you remember to bring my uniform along?

Roshi:
No, young man. Your old uniform no longer suits you, both in size and stature. You've all surpassed my lessons. What you wear, is your own. It's up to you now.

Goku:
Funny, I remember you being a lot taller.

Bulma:
And you used to be much shorter!

Goku:
Bulma, your lips are bleeding.

Bulma:
That's lipstick, you idiot! Oh...it really is Goku!

Goku:
(to Piccolo) I told you your size doesn't matter. The only thing it does for you is make you a bigger target.

Piccolo:
Your arrogance is astounding. You really believe you can beat me!? BEAT ME!?

Goku:
Yes.

Piccolo:
You fool! Are you simply so moronic, so moronic that you can't comprehend the impossible odds before you!? I am infinitely better than I was 3 years ago!

Goku:
3 years is a long time, and you're the fool if you think I haven't changed as well.

Piccolo:
BE QUIET!!

Krillin:
Don't worry. We're a team. If things get too bad, we'll take out Junior together!

Piccolo:
Hahaha! Good one! Your friends are so loyal...and foolish. A bunch of inept weaklings coming to the rescue of their idol, I'd pay a zenny to see that!

Kami:
Before we proceed, think this through very carefully. If we act now we can stop him together, there may not be a second chance.

Goku:
Thanks for your concern. But I've made my decision. I have to defeat him alone. It's just something I must do.

Goku:
Don't worry!

Chi Chi:
Are we seeing the same creature!? This is the perfect time to worry!

Grandpa Gohan:
Goku, how could you be so disrespectful? This lady is Tojuro. She has been the caretaker of the Magical Furnace for over 10,000 years!

Goku:
* 10,000 years!? You're not old, you're ancient!

Narrator:
What lies ahead for the newlyweds?

Baba:
The Future? It couldn't hurt to take a peek. (She chants and is amazed by the sight of their future, and goes in front of the crystal ball)

Narrator:
For the further adventures of Goku and friends, Be sure to watch Dragon Ball Z!

Narrator:
Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of "Dragon Ball"!

bulma:
If the dragonball is in that little car, how come my dragon radar couldn't detect it?

goku:
but it's not polite to swear.

Tien:
Wait a minute, whats all this talk about dragons, radars, balls? What's that got to do with anything?

King Piccolo:
Just think. With eternal youth I could master time itself. Why would would I want to rule this planet for a life time when I could rule it for all time?

King Piccolo:
(To Goku) Anyone with your level of skill...DESERVES TO BE TERMINATED!