Durarara!!

Izaya Orihara:
[To Rio as to why he wants to see her reaction] I love humans. Think about it, human beings are the most interesting creatures that you can ever hope to find.

Izaya Orihara:
Bullying people is lame. It's pathetic, really.

Izaya Orihara:
Human beings are weak.

Izaya Orihara:
Well, if I had to give a reason for my actions, I guess it's because I love people. I guess I wanted to see the faces that mankind has to offer.

Izaya Orihara:
[To Mikado] Sounds like the name of an air conditioner.

Izaya Orihara:
[To Shizu-chan~] You know, the problem with you Shizu-chan is that you can't be swayed by reason and that's bad...really bad.

Izaya Orihara:
It's kinda scary how much people trust me.

Izaya Orihara:
[to person/shizuo]gotta fly

Izaya Orihara:
[to shizuo]And why do I deserve to get my ass kicked?

Izaya Orihara:
[to Namie] And that is why I love the human race so much.

Izaya Orihara:
It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.

Shizuo Heiwajima:
No one loves me, because they're afraid of me.

Shizuo Heiwajima:
I really hate violence.

Shizuo Heiwajima:
[Japanese Version] IZAAAAAAYA-KUN!

Shizuo Heiwajima:
[English Version] IZAAAAAAYA!

Shizuo Heiwajima:
[To Izaya] YOU'RE SO FREAKIN DEAD!

Shizuo Heiwajima:
Kill! kill! kill!

Shizuo Heiwajima:
Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!

Shizuo Heiwajima:
["To Celty"]DUMBASS! Anyone who calls you a dumbass is a bigger dumbass, but since I already know I'm a dumbass, I'll say it again. DUMBASS!

Shizuo Heiwajima:
[To Izaya] Oh, I'm not mad. I just want to beat the shit out of you!

Shizuo Heiwajima:
[When something feels bad] Smells like shit.

Shizuo Heiwajima:
[to "the Dollars" in episode 3] You aimed at my head...You have to know a blow like that can kill a guy...right. So that means you were trying to kill me...right So whatever happens next...IS WHAT YOU DESERVE RIGHT!

Shizuo Heiwajima:
Shit! Shit! Shit!

Shizuo Heiwajima:
0.000000000000000000675%

Shinra Kishitani:
You could try eating eggshells but I have no idea what the calcium count would be, or for that matter, even how effectively your body can process something of that nature.

Shinra Kishitani:
[To Celty] The look on your face is unhappy.

Celty Sturluson:
[About Shinra] He reads expressions on a face I don't have....

Celty Sturluson:
[Japanese Version] The world isn't as cruel as you make it out to be.

Celty Sturluson:
[English Version] The world isn't as bad as you think.

Episode 3:
"Rampant Evil": Izaya Orihara:[To the girl bullies] Listen, It's not my problem if you lovely ladies get pummeled to death and die. I could knock your teeth down your throat, or you can bag on my age when I'm actually just 23, I don't care, you're in a class that's so far beneath me that it doesn't really matter.

Episode 3:
"Rampant Evil": Leader Girl Bully: [Confused] Huh?!

Episode 3:
"Rampant Evil": Izaya Orihara: Human beings are weak things...but...heh...beating up chicks isn't really my shtick.

Episode 3:
"Rampant Evil": Izaya Orihara: So I guess the next best thing I can do [picks up the girl's cellphone]... is take your precious cellphone...and smash it [Drops the phone on the ground and slams his foot down on it]

Episode 3:
"Rampant Evil": [Everyone around Izaya looks on in shock and amazement]

Episode 3:
"Rampant Evil": Izaya Orihara: [Laughs frantically while stomping on the phone] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!

Episode 3:
"Rampant Evil": Izaya Orihara: [Stops]...and now I'm bored. [Shrugs] I guess that's enough cellphone smashing for one day.

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Shizuo: What up? Izaya buddy.[Walks into Izaya's building lobby and prepares to push down Izaya's office door with his foot] Why don't you come on out and play?

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": [Izaya places a Coke can on Shizuo's shoulder and Shizuo turns around startled]

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Izaya: Tell me, to what do I owe you this pleasure, Shizuo-chan?

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Shizuo: [Annoyed] I'm obviously here to kick your smarmy little ass.

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Izaya: And why do I deserve to have my ass kicked?

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Shizuo: Because I'm pissed off!

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Izaya: Now don't you think that you're just a little too old to act the part of the playground bully...Shizu-chan?

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Shizuo: Shut the hell up!

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Shizuo: So how involved in this are you?

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Izaya: I don't know what you're talking about?

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Shizuo: You're in with the slashers, but I want to know how deep?!

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Izaya: [Chuckles as he walks out the lobby doors] That's a horrible accusation.

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Shizuo: 99% of the time whenever random violent crap happens, it seems you're somehow involved!

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Izaya: [Shrugs] And you can't have a little faith in that last 1%? [Slips the switchblade out of the right sleeve of his jacket] Guess that's [Flicks out his blade]...a no.

Episode 16:
"Mutual Love": Anri Sonohara: It's simple. I just convince myself that it has nothing to do with me, like I always do.

Episode 18:
"Out of Your Control": Masaomi Kida: "You want me to lie to her?! After I ran away from her..." Kyohei Kadota: "Listen, don't get carried away. If you feel guilty for running, then for the rest of your life, you must live with the pain of lying to her. That's how you can make it up to her. And if you don't want to lie to her, then don't run. Face her and say it! I'll let you run from your past. But don't run from the present and the future."

Episode 18:
"Out of Your Control": Kyohei Kadota: "Listen, don't get carried away. If you feel guilty for running, then for the rest of your life, you must live with the pain of lying to her. That's how you can make it up to her. And if you don't want to lie to her, then don't run. Face her and say it! I'll let you run from your past. But don't run from the present and the future."

Episode 20:
"A New King Will Arise": Walker Yumasaki: "Oh, man. Masaomi...You can't mistake reality for your delusions. Blue Square never existed. Isn't that for the best?"

Episode 20:
"A New King Will Arise": Erika Karisawa: "Then we'll just treat the whole thing like a delusion that never happened. If reality and fiction are equal, then any reality you don't need can just be called delusion. That's how we do things."

Episode 20:
"A New King Will Arise": Masaomi Kida: "What!? Are you saying Saki got beat up by people who didn't even exist!?"

Episode 21:
"Everything Covered in Fog": Seiji Yagiri: "Mikado, you like Anri, don't you?... If you really do love her, don't look away, no matter what happens. No matter what you see, no matter what you learn about her, don't look away. Once you've got her in your embrace, don't let go. That's your responsibility once you love someone.

Episode 24:
"Selfless Devotion": Simon Brezhnev: [In Russian] Hey, want to hear a bad story? You're such a cowardly ass, it's funny [Laughs]

Episode 24:
"Selfless Devotion": Izaya Orihara: [In Russian] I'd agree with that, Simon. But I like that quality of mine.