Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Season 2

Duchess:
That is the problem. This party is unauthorized! And more importantly, it is interfering with my 23 hours of beauty sleep!

Bloo:
You may want to shoot for 24.

Duchess:
[angrily steaming up] Ooh! You are going to get in big trouble for this!

Bloo:
Oh, you're just sore 'cause you didn't get invited.

Mac:
Bloo, I hate to say it, I mean, I really hate to say it, but I think Icky Von Yuck-Yuck might be right.

Bloo:
You're taking sides with Blicky McBarf?

Mac:
No, I just think Grossie Grossenstein has a point.

Duchess:
I am calling Madame Foster this instant! When she hears about this, your days in this house will be numbered!

Bloo:
Fine! Call her! See what I care! [snaps fingers, summoning One-Eyed Cy]

Cy:
Yeah, boss?

Bloo:
See to it Old Ug-Mug doesn't get near a phone.

Cy:
Got it.

Mac:
You're pushing your luck. And Mr. Herriman's gonna be back soon and-

Bloo:
I told you already, it's taken care of.

Mac:
Look, I don't want to see you get in trouble again. It's bad for my rep.

Bloo:
Do I have to fight for my right to party?

Mac:
How about fighting for your right not to get kicked out of the house?

Bloo:
Pshaw. You worry too much. Loosen up. Here. [snaps fingers; Moptop shows up with a plate of candy] Have some candy.

Mac:
[while on sugar high] Pour some sugar on Mac!

Duchess:
[enraged] AAAAHH! If only Herriman were here!

[Meanwhile…]

Mr. Herriman:
[angrily hopping home] Ooh, of all the things you've pulled! When I get home, I'm going to give you a right what for!

Mac:
Give me my chocolate!

Bloo:
Chocolates?! You tried to sell us out for Duchess' stupid chocolate?!

Duchess:
I'll have you know they're stupid gourmet chocolate.

Mr. Herriman:
[angrily scolding Fridgy, a refrigerated imaginary friend] I cannot believe it! I am absolutely outraged! What made you think you could get away with this?! And furthermore…

[Mac dashes out of the house, naked, and still on sugar high]

Mac:
[coughing] You said… [coughs] it was sugar.

Bloo:
Right. Sugar. Sugar free.

Madame Foster:
[firmly] Mr. Herriman, I am severely disappointed in you.

Mr. Herriman:
But, Madame, I…

Madame Foster:
Ooh, I am no fool, bunny! It is more than clear what occurred here today. I told you explicitly, implicitly, and unequivocally, no… wild… parties! Without me!

[Episode starts at the Foster's foyer and Madame Foster bursts the doors open and enters, in a very bad mood]

Madame Foster:
[outraged] Simply unbelievable! The stealing and the taking and bribing-the bribing! Oh, that 'bout but the the bone off the spoon! Why, I should have… [sweetly to Wilt] Hello, Wilt. [back to feeling outraged] And I would if I could! But nothing doing, no way, no how. Lousy casserole dish with onions on top! Downright nasty, I say. [kindly to Eduardo] Hola, Eduardo. [outraged again] Haven't the pluck to pluck up my chickens! That's what I call the sauce! [to Coco] Coco, Coco. [outraged again] And now I'm in a bing like a package on moving day! [to Mac and Bloo, kindly] Afternoon, Mac, Bloo. [outraged again] All 'cause of her! Always the same! Massacring what's mine like a Mississippi chainsaw! My green aggie, my lunch pail, my prom date! But this… taking a lady's teammates! Snatching 'em up before the final bell right before the last game-- outrageous! The gall! The gumption! The nerve! That back-scratching, butter neck Jerkins! [drops her bag with the hard thud]

Everyone:
Madame Foster!

Madame Foster:
What?! Oh, my! Was I talking out loud?

Eduardo:
Sí. Very loud.

Madame Foster:
Sorry. I thought those were my inner thoughts. Oops! [chuckles sheepishly] Seems my inner became an outie.

Wilt:
Wow, Madame Foster. I've never seen you so bent out of shape.

Madame Foster:
I know. Usually, I'm so sweet, quirky, and adorable. But, dag nabbit, I'm madder than a wet cat on washing day!

Wilt:
Ooh, that's mad!

Madame Foster:
She's skimming cream off the top, and they're drinking it up like a camel to sand. That Jerkins is a crafty one, literally, flaunting her hand-made doilies this way and that, taking my girls before the final beat. No-good doily-giving bribery!

Mac:
Hold up, Madame Foster. Let me see if I got this. You and this Jerkins lady have had a vicious rivalry ever since you were kids when she stole your lunchbox, and your boyfriend…

Madame Foster:
And my marbles.

Mac:
Clearly. And now, she's stolen your bowling team before the final game of the tournament by bribing them with doilies.

Madame Foster:
What? Am I speaking French here? She stole 'em, and now where am I? I'm done. That's it.

Flo Jerkins:
What is this, Foster?

Madame Foster:
My new team, Jerkins!

Flo Jerkins:
Looks like you dragged these right out of the gutter.

Madame Foster:
Nah, 'cause I would have seen you there!

Wilt:
Good one!

Eduardo:
That was good!

Flo Jerkins:
Oh, yeah?! Well, if you're offering up this rag-tag team to roll in the finals, y'all better bring it! [snaps her fingers]

Madame Foster:
Oh, it's already brung, sister!

Madame Foster:
Wilt, dearie, I appreciate the spit and shine, but… [snapping while shouting] THIS IS NOT BASKETBALL!

Madame Foster:
Ed, stop being such a wimp!

Eduardo:
No! Too noisy! Too scary!

Madame Foster:
Oh, I'm sorry, Eddie. What I meant to say was… [shouting] STOP BEING SUCH A WIMP!

Flo Jerkins:
[taunting Madame Foster] Hey, Foster, maybe you ought to change your name from Foster's Fighters to Foster's Flatulence since you stink!

Madame Foster:
[steaming up, angrily; to Mac] Mac?

Mac:
Yeah?

Madame Foster:
I got some advice for you.

Mac:
Anything.

Madame Foster:
You see this ball?

Mac:
Yeah.

Madame Foster:
I need you to take it…

Mac:
Yeah?

Madame Foster:
And… HIT SOME GLOATING PINS!

Mac:
[after Madame Foster rejects him from bowling] But I want to be part of the team.

Madame Foster:
Good. Go polish the balls, go shine the shoes, go get some nachos. Wait, you're a smart kid. Go keep score, just don't bowl!

Mac:
[annoyed] "Keep score?" Thanks a lot. Dumb computer does it all.

Bowling Paul:
Life is like a narrow road. You can walk on the right, you can walk on the left, or you can walk down the middle.

Mac:
Isn't walking down the middle of the road dangerous?

Bowling Paul:
Well, duh! In walking, totally dangerous! You could get hit by a car or something. But in bowling, the middle of the road is the path to victory.

Mac:
Sweet, sweet victory.

Wilt:
[annoyingly irritated] Okay, that's it. I am so putting my foot down! It's game time for the Wilt man. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Wilt:
[washing Madame Foster's car in the rain] Well, you gotta have a clean car.

Madame Foster:
[honking] Less talk, more muscle!

Wilt:
[having enough] That's it! Next person who asks me for something's getting a big, fat, n…

Old Lady:
[cutting off Wilt's sentence; far from the sidewalk, sweetly] Excuse me, tall molasses, mind helping a young lady across the street?

Bloo:
Wilt, these aren't salt and vinegar flavor. I only eat salt and vinegar flavor. I can't eat these.

Mac:
Bloo, clean that stuff up.

Bloo:
Why? It's Wilt's fault. Besides, he loves cleaning up messes. Don't you, Wilt?

Gregory's Mom:
We can't take it anymore. We're getting rid of him.

Mr. Herriman:
Yes, yes, of course. Now we have some procedures to follow, paperwork and whatnot. Can you explain why you can no longer care for Bendy?

Gregory's Dad:
He's a troublemaker, I tell you, an instigator!

[Bendy, a yellow imaginary friend with spiked hair, sits outside in the waiting room, listening to their conversation in distraught]

Frankie:
Troublemaker? What does he do?

Gregory's Mom:
Ugh, what doesn't he do? Writing on the walls, gum under the table, cookies missing from the jar.

Frankie:
Really?

Gregory's Dad:
Softballs through windows, mysterious long distance charges, missing power tools. Every single rule in the house broken, every single day.

Mr. Herriman:
I see, and you've witness Bendy committing these transgressions?

Gregory's Mom:
Well, no, but our son, Gregory has.

Mr. Herriman:
I see. Master Gregory, might I speak to your parents alone, please?

Gregory's Dad:
Go on, son.

[Gregory leaves the office and waits outside]

Mr. Herriman:
Sir, Madame, we see this sort of thing all the time. Have you considered that perhaps it is not Bendy performing these acts, but your son instead?

Gregory's Parents:
[shocked in anger] What?!?!

Frankie:
What he means is, sometimes, kids blame their imaginary friends for things they've done themselves. You know, 'cause they don't want to get in trouble. It's very common really.

Gregory's Mom:
[offensively miffed] Well, I assure you that our son would never lie to us! Why the very nerve!

[They storm out of Mr. Herriman's office]

Gregory's Dad:
Come, Gregory.

[As Gregory's Mom grabs her son by the hand, dragging him away, Gregory sadly looks at Bendy for one final look and leaves]

Bendy:
But, but, I didn't do anything. You gotta believe me, I never did any of those things. I swear.

Frankie:
Oh, we believe you, Bendy.

Mr. Herriman:
Humans can be so cruel.

Bloo:
[walks to a corner; to the others as they're all punished] You guys too?

Coco:
Coco.

Eduardo:
Sí.

Wilt:
Uh-huh.

Bloo:
Don't tell me. Bendy?

Coco:
Coco.

Eduardo:
Sí.

Wilt:
Uh-huh.

Frankie:
Bloo! You flooded the house!

Bloo:
Yeah, but Bendy took a cookie!

[Frankie facepalms as Mr. Herriman shakes his head in disappointment]

Mac:
[shows up at the flooded house; sighs annoyingly] Bloo, what did you do?

Bloo:
[offscreen] BENDY DID IT!

Bloo:
[addressing his doubles] I am Bloo, and you are my minions! Wahahahahaha! [clones laugh] Alone, you are nothing but cheap knockoffs of a really cool dude, but together, we are stronger than any army! And I think we all know what you must do. [the Bloos blink and stare at each other] That's right! We must sing the theme from the Ice Charades in one hundred-part harmony!

[inside the community room, the other Bloos gather and sing]

Bloos:
[singing] Oh, Ice Charades, you're so icy and fun

Oh, Ice Charades, it's not the "capade" one

Oh, Ice Charades, every year comes to town

Oh, Ice Charades, get your money back if a skater falls...

Comically Deep-Voiced Bloo:
DOWN.

Frankie:
[marches in as the song ends] Holy guacamole!

Bloo:
Take five, everyone.

Frankie:
Bloo, what have you done? Have you been playing with Mac's chemistry set again?

Bloo:
Yes, Frankie, yes I have. But that's not where these handsome devils came from. They were imagined up by kids in Mac's class after they saw me.

Mac:
Hi, Bloo. Ready to go to the Ice Charades?

Comically Deep-Voiced Bloo:
Who are you?

Mac:
[screams and starts attacking Comically Deep-Voiced Bloo] Who are you and what have you done with my friend?!

Bloo:
Oh, I see you've met Comically Deep-Voiced Bloo.

Bloo:
[through loudspeaker] Come and get the taste sensation that's sweeping the nation! The chocolate confection that's baked to perfection! The homemade concoction that's free of dioxin! [the crowd stares at Bloo] What, dioxins? They're any of several carcinogenic or duratogenic tetracyclic hydrocarbons that incurs impurities in petroleum-derived herbicides, like meat and dairy products. [the crowd continues staring] They're bad for you!

[The crowd cheers]

Frankie:
[deranged with a cookie addiction] Must stop eating cookies...such delicious sugary goodness...NEVER! [shoves another cookie in her mouth] Cookies are your friend! You shall give in to the power of the triple chocolate! I've loved them since I was a baby, and she never gave me enough. [eats a bunch more cookies] So you need to eat MORE! As many as you can! LET NO ONE STOP YOU!

Orlando Bloo:
[sarcastically to Mac, beneath him] Don't mind if I do pick up a fork and eat some of the food that is on the plate on the table in front of me!

Mac:
D'ooh... [his hands scrabble around on the table, picks up a spoon and stabs at the steak]

Orlando Bloo:
Oh, silly me. A spoon can't pick up a steak!

Orlando Bloo:
So, did Frankie ever tell you how we met? Well, I was busy studying at millionaire school, learning how to be a millionaire - which was silly really, because I already made a gazillion dollars in the paddle ball business - I just wanted to get my degree. Anyway, Frankie was working at the local roller derby and I just happened to be attending the roller derby regionals, and I couldn't help but notice her. So, after the game, I went up to her and said, "Hey, baby! I'm a gazillionaire!"

Dylan:
You guys are lucky I don't kick your bu-- [notices Frankie behind him, hearing everything] Ha, ha, ha. Ha! Frankie, I thought you were uh… you know, powdering your nose.

Frankie:
I powdered it before I left.

Prince Charming:
[comes out of the ladies' bathroom with a black eye] She's so cute when she's mad. [faints]

Dylan:
[backs away nervously as Frankie advances towards him] So uh… I-I-I-I-it's not what it looks like, it's…

Frankie:
If I have a dime for every time I heard that one.

Dylan:
No, really! I was just palling around with the kids over here. [picks up Mac, giving him a noogie] Cute little guys, heh…

Frankie:
You mean, my friends?

Dylan:
Oh! [drops Mac] Th-those were your uh…friends? [chuckles nervously as Frankie walks a little closer to him] Hey, Frankie, did I mention how awesome you look in that dress?

[Frankie furiously cracks her knuckles and punches Dylan as the screen cuts to black]

Cheese:
[repeated line] I like chocolate milk.

Madame Foster:
Oh, he seems nice. What's his name dear?

Mac:
Cheese.

Madame Foster:
What's that dear?

Mac:
Cheese.

Madame Foster:
I'm sorry?

Mac:
Cheese! His name is Cheese!

Madame Foster:
Oh.

Bloo:
CHEESE?

Cheese:
Yes.

Mac:
No, not you, Cheese. Yes. Cheese.

Cheese:
Yes.

Mac:
Not you.

[Cheese pretends his toy horse is galloping up Bloo]

Bloo:
Get outta here!

[Cheese walks away, and then sneaks up behind them, using his horse to listen in on Mac and Bloo]

Mac:
Come on, I brought Mom's drill...

Bloo:
So?

Mac:
We can paint flames on the sides.

Bloo:
So?

Mac:
We can ride down that huge hill on Mulberry Lane...

[Bloo's face lights up]

Bloo:
[ecstatic] Oh, Mac, you mean it?

Mac:
Of course. Just like I promised.

Bloo:
Oh, Mac, you're the best kid an imaginary friend could ever ha- [he sees that Cheese has been putting his horse between them] -WILL YOU GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME?!?

Cheese:
[beat] Now I'm a horsey! Baa! Baa, now you're a horsey! Giddyap! [crashes into Bloo] ...This floor tastes funny.

[Mac facepalms]

Mac:
Time for paint!

Bloo:
Awesome! Super duper red Hot Rod flames!

Cheese:
Bunnies!

Bloo:
Hot rod flames!

Cheese:
Bunnies!

Bloo:
Hot rod flames!

Cheese:
Bunnies!

Bloo:
Hot rod flames!

Cheese:
Bunnies!

Bloo:
HOT ROD FLAMES!

Cheese:
Bunnies.

Bloo:
HOT... ROD... FLAMES!

Cheese:
[whispers] Bunnies.

Mac:
QUIET!

[scene goes to the hill, where the go kart is painted with flaming bunnies]

Bloo:
[while pushing go-kart up the hill] I don't even know you anymore!

Mac:
Shut up. At least the bunnies are on fire.

[Wilt gives Cheese to Coco, who is making orange juice. Cheese wants cocoa for cereal.]

Cheese:
Cocoa.

Coco:
Coco coco coco?

Cheese:
Cocoa!

Coco:
Co, co, coco coco coco?

Cheese:
COCOA!

Coco:
[annoyed] Co co co co!

Cheese:
[repeatedly] COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA!

[Coco gets annoyed and gives Cheese to Mr. Herriman, who is writing a letter]

Mr Herriman:
Can I help you?

Cheese:
[repeatedly] COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA!

Mr Herriman:
GOOD HEAVENS! Not another one!

[Mr. Herriman takes Cheese away, while Frankie is making cereal and gives Cheese at the kitchen who wants cereal]

Cheese:
COCOA!

Frankie:
Oh, no. Not another one! [crashes cut to Bloo is sitting on the couch and drinking a soda; offscreen] BLOO! [she has a bowl on her head as Cheese is hanging by her shoulder and licking her] This is yours! [puts Cheese on the couch next to Bloo] You watch him!

Blog:
Hey, Cheese, wanna play a game?

Cheese:
I like games.

Cheese:
'Nother game, 'nother game, 'nother game, 'nother game, 'nother game, 'nother game 'nother game, 'nother game, 'nother game, 'nother game...

Bloo:
[getting another idea] Hey, Cheese. You wanna play another game?

Cheese:
[gasps] Yes!

Bloo:
It's the most exciting, amazing, most funnest awesomest game ever.

Cheese:
Yes, yes!

Bloo:
You wanna know what it's called?

Cheese:
Yes, yes, YES!

Bloo:
Okay, it's called... [locks Cheese in the closet] "Sit still and be quiet in the closet FOR THE REST OF ENTERNITY!" MWHAHAWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [runs off]

Cheese:
[in the closet] I like this game.

Bloo:
[offscreen as he screams, scaring Mac out of his wits] CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESEE!!!! [frantic] Where are you, little buddy?! Come on little bro! Speak to me! Tell me you're alright! CHEESE!

Mac:
Bloo, what's going on?

Bloo:
Cheese! Speak to me! SPEAK TO ME!

Cheese:
[offscreen] Yeah, I like potatoes.

Frankie:
He was eating soap when I found him.

Cheese:
Potatoes smell. Like flowers.

Mr. Herriman:
[glaring at Bloo] I dislike you with great intensity.

Kip:
Deo, honey, baby! Why ain't you dressed? We gotta go-go-go!

Bloo:
NO! I'm not doing any more appearances, corporate speaking gigs, sleeping in a cage or sticking my head into some guy's underarm ever again! I QUIT!

Kip:
What're you saying, kid? Don't mince words.

Bloo:
I quit! I just wanna get something to eat, then go home to see my friends! I quit!

Kip:
You can't quit.

Bloo:
Sure, I can. Watch. I! QUIT!

Kip:
[frowns angrily] I own you, kid. That contract you signed--that wasn't an acting contract. It was adoption papers. So, as your legal guardian, I say YOU CAN'T QUIT!

Bloo:
But... I didn't wanna be adopted!

Kip:
"But I didn't wanna be adopted!" Well, you shouldn't have gone on television saying that you did! You ASKED for this! Now, you are gonna get into your little costume and you're gonna perform your live variety show for millions of TV VIEWERS LIKE WE PLANNED! [to Bloo] YA GOT THAT, PUNK?!

Bloo:
[gulps] Y-Y-Yes, sir...

Kip:
[grabs Bloo] Not so fast, Deo! You're not going anywhere! I created you! I OWN you!

Bloo:
No, Kip. You didn't create me. [He knocks Kip in the face] Mac, my best friend, created me. For I am Blooregard Q. Kazoo, imaginary friend. Not some flashy marketing campaign designed to get people to buy a shoddy deodorant product that doesn't even work. [audience gasps] That's right, audience. Deo Brand Deodorant doesn't really make people smell better!

[Family, dog, and cat gasped after they hear what Bloo said. The next scene where Chris throws his Deo Brand Deodorant after he hears what Bloo said. and another scene where an old woman faints after she hears what Bloo said]

Kip:
You think I care that people know my product stinks? You think I care how PEOPLE stink? I DON'T care! [audience gasps] In fact, Deo Brand Deodorant makes people smell WORSE!

Audience:
NOOO!

Police Officer #1:
That's it, pal. We're taking you downtown.

Police Officer #2:
You're spending the rest of your life rotting in prison.

Kip:
Arresting me? For what?!

Police Officer #1:
Article 254, Section 3: False Advertising.

Kip:
[gets dragged away by the two police officers] NOOOOO!!!!!!

Bloo:
Look. I saw you doing extra school work during recess.

Mac:
Bloo, I wasn't doing extra school work. I was in detention.

Bloo:
Detention? For what?

Mac:
Blowing spit wads.

[During the credits]

Bloo:
Today's story was about how you should really accept your friends for who they are. Don't try to change them, just 'cause you think they should be different. Especially if it's going to end up blowing up in your face and get you adopted off to a bunch of little kids. Always ask yourself, "How's this gonna affect me?" Learn from my mistake and accept your nerdy friend for who he is.

[Camera zooms out, revealing that he's talking to Big Beaver]

Big Beaver:
[confused] Why are you telling me this?

[Bloo runs off]

[Uncle Pockets arrives and everyone likes him, all except Bloo]

Frankie:
Sounds to me like someone's jealous!

Bloo:
Not jealous, journalist. [Mac rolls his eyes] I heard that!

Bloo:
So, do we get our super awesome jet cars now?

Mr. Herriman:
[sarcastically, stretching out his head to Bloo] Oh, yes... they're in the mail.

Bloo:
Yes!

Mac:
Um, Bloo. I think he was being sarcastic.

Bloo:
Oh. But who cares?? We're getting jet cars! Jet cars, dude!

Mac:
No, see, he was just saying that because it isn't true.

Bloo:
So he was lying?

Mac:
No, he was using sarcasm. He said the opposite to make it funny! Ha ha!

Bloo:
That wasn't funny. Knock-knock jokes. Knock-knock jokes are funny.

Mac:
[sarcastically] Yeah. Knock-knock jokes are hilarious.

Bloo:
That's what I'm saying!

Mac:
No, I was being sarcastic.

Bloo:
Stop it!

Mac:
Frankie, explain sarcasm to Bloo.

Frankie:
What? You don't understand sarcasm?

Bloo:
No.

Frankie:
But you use it all the time!

Bloo:
Right. I use it all the time.

Frankie:
See? You just used it!

Bloo:
I did?! Sure I did, Frankie.

Mac:
You're totally messing with us, aren't you?