Ghost Hunters

Tango:
(Handing Steve his headphones) They're nice...what's wrong with them?

Steve:
Sure.

Tango:
They're red.

Steve:
They're pink.

Tango:
You don't like red?

Steve:
These aren't red.

Tango:
Those are red.

Steve:
It's candy apple red.

Tango:
...okay.

Steve:
There's a difference, cause red is an acceptable color.

Steve:
I thought it'd be funny.

Jason:
It's freakin' hilarious, but is it professional? No.

Steve:
(Wearing a boat costume) Tango, come steer my ship.

Tango:
What do you mean 'steer your ship?'

Steve:
Come play with my mast.

Tango:
No!

Steve:
What are you proud of picking up poo?

Tango:
No, well I mean it's a manly thing to do.

Steve:
Ayy-a Paesan-a..!

Tango:
I ate-a too many meatballs..

Steve:
I ate-a too many-a meat-aball!!

Steve:
Ten seconds prior to that, he felt cold on his neck, on his hand, on his arm. Felt cold cold cold.

Tango:
And that was ten seconds after?

Steve:
Ten seconds prior.

Tango:
Oh. Prior.

Steve:
Prior means before.

Tango:
Yeah, I know.

Steve:
Okay. Just making sure.

Tango:
Thanks. So it was before...

Steve:
Prior means before.

Tango:
I know!

Steve:
Alright, I'm just making sure.

Tango:
You just said that twice.

Steve:
Well, there's been question as to where your education dropped off.

Tango:
It never dropped off, I'm still learning.

Steve:
Did you graduate?

Tango:
Yeah, I graduated! Did you?

Steve:
- laughing -

Tango:
I learned stuff, doesn't mean I retained it all.

Steve:
That's true.

Jason:
Hello? Is there anyone in here?

Grant:
(quietly) Yes.

Jason:
Besides Grant?

Steve:
(in Paddy Reilly's Irish Pub) We're big fans of Ireland. We like Lucky Charms...

Tango:
No, don't say that!

Steve:
We like Irish Spring…

Tango:
Don't. That's just so bad, man.

Steve:
What d'you mean?

Tango:
That's so American of you.

Steve:
We hate soccer.

Tango:
Well, that's true.

Steve:
We like castles.

Tango:
That's true.

Steve:
We like leprechauns. We know that there is gold at the end of every rainbow.

Steve:
What else is Irish?

Grant Wilson:
I keep hearing like a small gasp...(elapsed time)...it's you, you stupid cat; your nose whistles! Get out of here!!

Grant Wilson:
What the frig?

Grant Wilson:
What the fetch?

Grant Wilson:
Well I know one thing: Tom loves Jen. (Commenting on graffiti)

Grant Wilson:
You wanna play hide and seek? It's a great place to play.

Grant Wilson:
It's like he's a brother. ...it's almost like he's a wife. (laughs)

Jason Hawes:
When in doubt, get the hell out.

Jason Hawes:
Do we gotta ask a one-winged fairy directions too, or what?

Jason Hawes:
And Grant got viciously attacked by a snare drum.

Dave Tango:
Oh. Yeah, I like it. (About a red feathered boa)

Dave Tango:
I'm a friend, I'm not gonna harm anyone...please don't harm me...

Dave Tango:
I'm not going over there man, it's right next to your butt.

Dave Tango:
(In an inn that used to be a brothel) Do we have any blondes in here? How 'bout redheads? We got any redheads?

Dave Tango:
No one wants to play with poor old Dave Tango...

Dave Tango:
Yeah, a French guy eats bicycles for a living. He said he likes the oily parts best.

Dave Tango:
I learned stuff, that doesn't mean I retained it all.

Dave Tango:
You touch weird things man... you touch like, weird, weird things, like weird objects and like things on the wall that you shouldn't be touching...

Dave Tango:
You're gonna hurt yourself some day, man. He touches things that should not be touched.

Dave Tango:
I drop these all the time. They're a tank.

Steve Gonsalves:
I found a tiara in one of the rooms in the house, and I thought it'd be kind of funny to have Dave Tango wear it, but the funny part is that he thought it was a head lamp, and he kept wearing it as a head lamp. He even tried to turn it on, but couldn't find the button.

Steve Gonsalves:
We got a long time to go, so, uh, I hope we don't get hemorrhoids. ...We sit here for ten hours straight, it's Hemorrhoid City, man.

Steve Gonsalves:
We just inhaled someone's poo smell right out of the fucking tube...

Steve Gonsalves:
(To Tango) Who knows with you? You're weird. You're from Jersey. You people do weird things.

Steve Gonsalves:
I do have a guest bedroom, but it's being occupied...by my cat.

Steve Gonsalves:
(in mock-British accent) Tango, m'boy, fetch me some orange juice, my good friend.

Steve Gonsalves:
(Playing with a giant nutcracker) Hello, fine sir... bring me your women and your finest buffet!

Steve Gonsalves:
I'm not gonna put it in my mouth, I don't want lead poisoning, I don't want the gout or whatever it is you get...

Brian Harnois:
DUDE, RUN!

Brian Harnois:
Is there anybody that would like to play with us tonight? ...That sounded all kinds of wrong.

Other:
You're always in another country, Tango. (Dustin Pari)

Other:
I'm perfectly fine with staying here all night, and making you completely INSANE. Just do something and we'll leave. Something big. None of this little... stupid crap. (Kris Williams)