Greek, Season 1

Cappie:
So you just have to avoid doing something embarrassing for 48 hours.

Rusty:
I can do that!

Cappie:
Your fly's open.

Officer Huck:
I need your noise permit for the Vesuvius party.

Cappie:
Are you yankin' me? Since when does that rule get inforced?

Officer Huck:
Since I was hired.

Cappie:
Oh, okay. I get it. So uh, officer Huck. You look like you could use a little break. You wanna come in, we'll set you up with a nice cold beer? That's what Officer Bob always did. Where is good old Bob anyway?

Officer Huck:
Rehab

Cappie:
Oh.

Dale:
All right, i need drugs. Who's got 'em?

Cappie:
Oh! Look at this! The Cartwright kids! You know, you two should band together and solve mysteries, fight crime! You've got the perfect name for it, there's a sketchy janitor who I think is up to something...

Rusty:
So i just need to decide what's right for me?

Casey:
Unfortunately, the hard part isn't choosing, it's living with the choice you make.

Rusty:
I think I'm ready to use the L-word with Jen.

Cappie:
That's a pretty bold move. What makes you think she's a lesbian, and is that a dealbreaker for you?

Rusty:
Not that L-word. I wanna tell her I love her.

Cappie:
Look, if you need to say "I love you", call your mom.

Casey:
During rush, I was actually close to taking a bid out of Tri Pi, and Ashleigh found out that one of the girls hated med and was gonna kick me out two weeks later, and she keyed the girls car.

Evan:
You never told me that.. Someone keyed my car this rush.

Cappie:
I had a little minx once. She was the fairest of all the forest creature. But I let her get away. [slaps himself] Bad Cappie!

Dean Bowman:
Clearly, you people are unable to regulate yourselves. So, from this day forward, the university will do it for you. As Dean of Students, you will answer to me now.

Cappie:
Your Honor, I object!

Dean Bowman:
To...?

Cappie:
Well... Jean shorts? Dane Cook, highly objectionable. Oh, and your complete and utter lack of presumption that we are innocent until proven guilty. No more questions (turns and points at Evan dramatically) your witness!

Wade:
Pre Law?

Cappie:
Not yet, but I'm digging the suit!

Beaver:
Hey, Cap.

Cappie:
Hey, what's going on? Rusty looks upset. Did Rebecca do something?

Beaver:
No, no. Rusty's upset because of... Science.

Cappie:
Science?

Beaver:
Yeah. He found out the guy who invented gravity just died. Isn't that sad?

Cappie:
Beav, Isaac Newton has been dead for like, 300 years.

Beaver:
Hehe, oh. I guess Rusty's not as smart as we thought.