Hey Arnold!, Season 2

Sid:
We threw away everything but the kitchen sink! gets the kitchen sink Okay, here goes!

Nick Vermicelli:
This time I'll be a 50% partner.

Big Bob Pataki:
20.

Nick Vermicelli:
40.

Big Bob Pataki:
20.

Nick Vermicelli:
30.

Big Bob Pataki:
20.

Nick Vermicelli:
Deal.

Arnold:
If I hit the lever, maybe I can stop it. [Cup misses lever]

Helga:
[Mimicking Arnold] If I can hit the lever, maybe I can stop it.

Arnold:
[Thinking] I hope they stop in time.

Helga:
[Thinking] Boy, he smells good.

Stinky:
Wilikers! It's Big Bob!

Sid:
And... and... some other guy!

Arnold:
Wait a minute. Mr. Pataki, don't do that! Come back! Mr. Pataki!

Mr. Simmons:
Well, that's one way to respond by not responding. Silence: often speaks volumes.

Principal Wartz:
It's like music to my ears.

Stinky:
Why are your pants ironed so nicely?

Gerald:
Why don't you teach us anything?

Curly:
Why do fools fall in love?

Harold:
Don't shoot! I'm just a kid with a cat!

Stinky:
[hides into a trash can] Talk about ironic.

[the boys board the local bus]

Gerald:
Not a fifth-grader in sight.

Arnold [spots some 5th graders in the back of the bus and points out] Um, Gerald?

Gerald:
[disappointed] Except for those guys.

[Arnold and Eugene enter the boy's restroom while Eugene carries Henry's goldfish bowl with Henry's deceased body floating on top of the water]

Arnold:
You've gotta do it, Eugene, it's time.

Eugene:
[depressingly] Goodbye, Henry.

[Eugene is about to flush Henry's deceased body down the toilet, but he refuses to do it]

Eugene:
[tearfully] Oh, I can't do it, Arnold, [he sobs a bit] I've had Henry ever since he was a little baby goldfish.

Arnold:
I'll flush it for you, here.

Eugene:
Wait!

Helga:
[in another moment of dramatic lovesickness] Arnold, my love, though I shun you in public, berating you, and insulting you, tis only to hide my true feelings of love and adoration [sighs] oh when will I find the strength to express my strange, but nearly uncontrollable affections for you? Hopefully not today or tomorrow because it would be embrassing and humiliating, but perhaps someday in the distant future...yes someday. [punches an upside down Brainy's face sticking out of a treehole]

Helga:
[About the monkey] Doesn't it do anything else?

[Later, in Helga's dream where she's the monkey]

;Lady Observer:
Can't she do anything else?!

Helga:
I think you're... okay. I mean, you're a real okay, guy, and I think you're okay.

Arnold:
[Smiles and pats her on the arm] Thanks, Helga, you're okay, too. [leaves]

Helga:
He thinks I'm okay and he touched me! [scene changes to outside] And I'm not a monkey!

Helga:
[As a monkey] Arnold, I love you, but I never had the guts to tell you.

Arnold:
But you're not Helga, you're a monkey, a monkey girl.

Grandpa Phil:
There comes a time in every youngster's life when he's ready to take on Big Caesar! And you boys... well, you're not ready yet, but I'm tired of waitin'.

Gerald:
[about the last boat available for a fishing contest] There is no way we're fishing in a swan boat. [next frame] I can't believe we're fishing in a swan boat.

Curly:
Yeah, I like Licorice, so what? Kidnapping is not my game — too messy!

Gerald:
Then where were you, handsome?

Curly:
Alright I'll tell ya but you have to keep it under your hat, see.

Arnold:
We'll see about that.

Gerald:
I don't think you're in the position to give orders.

Curly:
I was at a ballet lesson Madame Bovary's school for boys.

Gerald:
Ballet lessons? Oh, come on.

Curly:
[dancing] Plié, jeté. See, I ain't joking.

Gerald:
Hey, he's pretty good.

Arnold:
All right, he checks out.

Harold:
[to Arnold and Gerald] You call me Slim one more time, I'll knock your teeth off!

[Lila has just answered a question in class]

Phoebe:
But...but I knew that!

Lila:
Don't worry, Daddy, we still have that can of beans in the fridge.

Mr. Sawyer:
[dramatically] No, we don't, I ate them for lunch! [cries]

Helga:
[about Lila] Well, everything's back to normal.

Rhonda:
She's Little Miss Perfect again.

Phoebe:
She's funny and smart, and pretty and popular.

Helga:
And you know what the worst part is? I like her.

Rhonda and Phoebe:
Yeah, me too.

Curly:
I wanted to go as pirates.

Harold:
No, Vikings.

Phoebe:
How about clowns?

Helga:
We're all going as aliens because the whole purpose of Halloween is to scare people and make them give you candy.

Gerald:
Aliens are coming to destroy the Earth!

Grandpa:
[explaining about the kids in alien costumes] The news is all over town. The city is in panic.

Gerald:
Uh oh.

Arnold:
The news station must have picked up our broadcast. Grandpa, what happened to the kids after you saw them?

[the kids are being chased by an angry mob]

Helga:
Arn-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ld!

Arnold:
[Halfway across town] Did you hear something just now?

Gerald:
No.

Grandpa Phil:
You already had three helpings. [hits Oskar's hand]

Oskar:
Oww, you hurt my hand. I'm going to sue you!

Oskar:
Eh. Heheheheh! Look! It's Buddy Love! And he's going coconuts!

Mr. Simmons:
[Reading Phoebe's poem in front of the class] I hear your name, like a bell, ringing, ringing, in my heart.

Principal Wartz:
[Talking to Phoebe as he leaves] We're proud of our multicultural students here at P.S. 118. [Stops in the doorway and looks back] Where do you come from, Phoebe?

Phoebe:
[flatly] Kentucky, sir.

Wolfgang:
We'll meet you tomorrow... on the gridiron. Leaves

Edmund:
[off-screen] What's a gridiron?

Wolfgang:
[off-screen, whispers] Shut up...

Gerald:
We're going to beat them?

Arnold:
Sorry, I got carried away.

Helga:
Nice going head boy, now we're all going to get carried away, On stretchers! They're fifth graders! They older, bigger, more brutal.

Arnold:
Size isn't everything Helga, maybe we're smarter.

Helga:
Smarter, being smarter doesn't have to do with anything with football.

Helga:
97 [kids groan while doing push-ups] 98 [kids groan while doing push-ups] 99! Come on! Get up! Walk it off. Let's go! We're going to practice everyday until I start seeing some improvement. And let's start thinking positively, think like winners, you bunch of losers. [Harold vomits] Any questions?

Harold:
Ahh, I just throw up my protein drink! [vomits again]

[Upset over washing Gerald's clothes]

Mr Hyunh:
This lint is your lint. [in high pitch voice] I'm not your Mother!

Gerald:
Okay, I’m sorry. [Gerald leaves the room]

Mr. Hyunh:
I am not his mother!

Gerald:
What am I gonna do now, Smart Guy? AW! [sobs]

Arnold:
I'm telling you, Rhonda, I really don't know anything about fashion.

Rhonda :
[reading fashion magazine] Hmmm. Okay, tell me this: do red and orange go together?

Arnold :
Uhhh...

Rhonda:
Of course not. You know that, and I know that. But try to tell that to Nadine — she doesn't listen.

Nadine:
[to Rhonda] Then, we're not friends anymore!

Arnold:
[on the phone to Nadine] Hang on, I've got another call.

[Takes other call, it's from Rhonda]

Rhonda:
I knew it. You're talking to her, aren't you, Arnold? What is she saying about me? I kept hearing this little click and I knew you were on the other line, to her, talking behind my back. Nadine was always jealous. She's jealous, isn't she, Arnold?

Bob:
[thinking] Now I'm stuck with the girl. How in the heck am I gonna survive this week?

Helga:
[thinking] Now I'm stuck with Big Bob. How in the heck am I gonna survive this week? [out loud] I'm going out.

Bob:
Where are you going? When will you be back? Be careful crossing streets? [Walks back in, satisfied] I can take a week alone with her.

Helga:
You don't know anything about me!

Bob:
You're a kid, what's there to know?

Big Bob:
[Thinking]Great, now I have to sit through this stupid musical for three hours.

Helga:
[Thinking]Great, now I have to sit through this stupid musical for three hours.

Harold:
I love this contest! I love eating! Wait, I think I ate too fast. Oh, oh, my belly hurts. AAH! Mommy! Please, somebody help!

Helga:
What did your grandmother stuff these with, Football Head? socks?

Brooke:
Rhonda, just accept it. You can't have contacts yet. Well, we can't both be upset at the same time!

Rhonda:
[in tears] I hate my life! Why does everything happen to me? I'm so unlucky!

Rhonda:
If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh?

Stinky:
I'll die!

Arnold:
You won't die, Stinky.

Stinky:
No, I will, I'll die! Lay down and die like an old dog.

Gerald:
Why are you reading this junk? [teases] Oh, right, you have a crush on Miss Felter...

Arnold:
I like poetry, it has nothing to do with her.

Gerald:
Right. Later, man.

[Gerald walks away]

Arnold:
Oh soft, what light from yonder window breaks? It is the east... [Gerald pauses] ... and... Miss Felter is the sun.

Gerald:
[In disgust] That's it, now I'm pukin'.

Gerald:
You set a beautiful table, my fair señÑorita. [purrs]

Arnold:
Do I have to purr?

Gerald:
Yes, chicks dig the purr!

Arnold:
[To Miss Felter after Gerald's voice is heard through the walkie talkie that is in Arnold's pants] Sometimes my pants... they talk.

Arnold:
You set a beautiful table, my fair señorita.

Miss Felter:
Muchas gracias.

Arnold:
Aw, enchilada.

[Phoebe has just been shoved into a locker when other kids ran past her, in spite of just being made hall monitor.]

Helga:
Phoebe, are you OK? Phoebe! Say something!

Phoebe:
I quit.

Phoebe:
I don't really want to be this bossy scary selfish emotionally challenged person, who has to order people around just to get respect!

Helga:
[Oblivious] Who'd want to be like that?

Gerald:
You know that monster truck show this afternoon? Wish we could go.

Arnold:
Can't, got detention.

Gerald:
Yeah, me, too. Look at these! One for walking too fast, one for walking too slow, one for turning a corner too sharply, one for turning too wide, one for squeaky shoes, one for suspiciously quiet shoes. And these are from this morning. [tosses them on the floor and Phoebe writes another ticket and gives it to Gerald] What's this for?

Phoebe:
One for littering.

[Phoebe has just given Helga a detention ticket]

Helga:
Phoebe, get real. Helga Pataki doesn't do detentions. Besides, I've got tickets to the monster truck show. I was gonna take you.

Phoebe:
No, you get real, Pataki. You're the one who told me not to let anyone push me around. Well, I'm not letting anyone push me around, and that includes you. And one more thing, I despise monster truck shows.

Helga:
When I told you not to let anyone push you around, I didn't mean me!

Helga:
You're a controlling, hall monitoring bully!

Phoebe:
You say that like it's a bad thing.

Helga:
Phoebe, over the last week, you've screamed at kids in the halls, you've rationed water at the drinking fountain...you've given out more tickets than a lottery! I mean, look around! Half of our class is sitting here in detention!

Phoebe:
So what? I'm just acting like you.

Helga:
Look in that reflection, what do you see? [Phoebe looks at herself in the reflection and her refection turns into a copy of Helga as she screams] Hey, it's not that scary.

Phoebe:
Yes it is! I've lost the old Phoebe!

Arnold:
Maybe you should try using psychology.

Coach Wittenberg:
Hmmm. Psycho-ology, eh?

Oskar:
Ghost? I don't believe in ghosts. I'm not the least bit superstitious.

Susie:
[From inside] What do you mean you're not superstitious? You keep a horse shoe in your pants.

Oskar:
Don't mock my families traditions!

Oskar:
I know, let's catch him and sell him to the circus!

Grandpa Phil:
We beated Smith Higgins! We beated Smith Higgins!

Helga:
No electricity? No TV? No popcorn? No deal! I'm out of here.

Arnold:
Hey, if you can't tough it out for 24 hours, than maybe you should leave.

Helga:
Oh, so you don't think I'm tough enough, is that it, Bio Boy? Well, I'll show you, I can stand be anywhere for 24 hours. Even locked in a controlled environment, with you!