Highlander: The Series, Season Four

[At his parents' graves]

Rachel MacLeod:
I'm Rachel MacLeod, and those are my ancestors you're standing on.

Duncan MacLeod:
Well, mine too, I'm Duncan MacLeod.

Rachel:
Another one. Let me guess, you're here to find you Highland roots.

Duncan:
I didn't know I'd lost them.

Rachel:
Och, if it isn't the clansman. What can I get you? Haggis? Maybe a kilt?

Duncan:
An ale would do just fine. Are the people of Glenfinnan always this friendly?

Rachel:
We're friendly enough, just careful of strangers.

Duncan:
Really. And since when is a MacLeod a stranger in Glenfinnan?

Duncan:
All this for an ax?!

Kanwulf:
An ax? An ax made by the Gods, MacLeod. Used by Loki and Thor themselves.

Duncan:
You can't still believe that.

Kanwulf:
As much as they believe in their pale Christ.

[At night. Duncan takes his father's sword down from the wall]

Rachel:
He came back from the dead, claimed his father's sword, killed the Viking, and stopped the slaughter.

Duncan:
That's the legend, Rachel.

Rachel:
The bracelet. Now this. If I asked you to explain, would it make any sense?

[Duncan is silent]

Rachel:
Duncan MacLeod.... maybe some legends are true.

Duncan:
Maybe.

[Rachel is waiting when he returns the sword]

Duncan:
It's over.

Rachel:
I knew you'd be back. The legend. That seems to belong in your hand.

Duncan:
No, it belongs in Glenfinnan. This is it's home.

[She kisses him]

Rachel:
Your's too, Duncan MacLeod.

Duncan MacLeod:
Anne, you all right?

Anne Lindsey:
Yeah, I'm fine.

Duncan:
Is the baby OK?

Anne:
Yeah, the baby's... learning to tap-dance I think.

Duncan:
Somebody told me that there was an emergency.

Anne:
Well, yeah, it's your cousin. (Duncan looks blank) The one from Wisconsin.

Duncan:
Kenny's here?

Anne:
Yeah, he's in the chapel. I was gonna call security, but I thought, what am I gonna tell them, I've got this kid who could live forever but he's only safe in churches?

[Duncan walks through a minefield]

Amanda:
When you think of me, when you, you know, if you ever had to describe me to someone else, would you think of me as a nurturing person?

Duncan:
(long pause) Definitely. Is that it?

Amanda:
No! I want you to be honest, OK?

Duncan:
How honest?

Amanda:
Honest. I mean, tell me the truth, don't think about hurting my feelings.

Duncan:
OK, then, no. Nurturing is not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of you.

Amanda:
Oh, I don't think you know me very well.

Duncan:
Amanda, you're beautiful, you're smart, and you're a lot of fun. Nurturing's in there... it's just not high on the list.

Amanda:
Well, do you think that I would have made a good mother?

Duncan:
Absolutely.

Amanda:
Really? I mean, because I could take it if you don't think that, you know, I have it in me.

Duncan:
You would have made a wonderful mother.

Amanda:
Really?

[Amanda touches Anne's belly]

Amanda:
Wow... so what's it like?

Anne:
Oh, like all the cliches. Carrying a watermelon, walking like a duck. And this is the easy part. The tough part comes when she gets here.

Amanda:
Are you scared?

Anne:
Terrified. You know, I'm a single mother, I work crazy shifts and weird hours. She's gonna need me, and the ER's gonna need me, and I haven't figured out how I'm going to make it all work yet.

Amanda:
You know what? I think your going to do great.

[Flashback to 1659]

Duncan MacLeod:
Hey, you, in the coach, you carry a sword, why don't you use it?

Kristin Gilles:
I could use it now, but then I could not do this. (Kisses Duncan)

Duncan:
Immortality definitely has an upside. Think about it, in 400 years you might be racing starships instead of Harleys.

Richie:
You think things are going to change that much?

Duncan:
Well, Richie, when I was a kid, the fastest way to travel was by horse, and if you wanted to fly, you had to be a bird.

Methos:
MacLeod-san, that katana is a lovely piece of art. May I? I washed my hands this morning.

[MacLeod hands it over]

Methos:
Ahhh! Quite a blade.

[Methos puts blade to Duncan's neck]

Duncan:
Not funny, Methos.

Methos:
Not meant to be. Not only are you naive, now you are weaponless. How have you lived this long? Do you know how many Immortals she's killed? Want a list?

Duncan:
All right, you've made your point.

Methos:
Have I? One day she is going to kill you.

Duncan:
She's tried already.

Methos:
You're better with a blade than her, yes. You are stronger than her, yes. But if you keep letting her walk away, one day she gets lucky, and takes your head. Yes!

Duncan:
Oh, I don't know, maybe she'll start to gloat like you.

[Duncan knocks Methos down and escapes]

Duncan:
You wanna play?

Methos:
Great, you knock me on my bum because I make a bad joke. Very macho. But you keep letting her walk away, without even taking a shot, that is very suicidal.

Duncan:
You know what she was to me.

Methos:
Yes, and I know what she is. A killer. You treat her like one.

Methos:
A couple of medieval songwriters come up with the idea of chivalry one rainy day...

Duncan:
This isn't about chivalry!

Methos:
...and you embrace it as a lifestyle. You live and die by a code of honor that was trendy when you were a kid.

Duncan:
Would you rather that I had no code of honor at all?

Methos:
I would rather you survived. You put that first.

[Duncan disarms Kristin but cannot kill her]

Methos:
Pick it up.

Kristin:
Who the hell are you?

Methos:
A man who was born long before the age of chivalry. Pick it up.

[They fight]

Duncan MacLeod:
You really are a spoiled brat.

Claudia Jardine:
I was a spoiled brat when we first met, but now... I'm a genius.

Duncan:
Silly me, I forgot. (hands her a glass) Here. It's not poisoned, although I'm tempted.

Claudia:
You know, just because you think you own me doesn't mean you can tell me how to live my life.

Duncan:
I don't think I own you.

Claudia:
Oh yes you do. If you hadn't paid for Julliard, the Paris Conservatory, I would probably be stuck in some crummy lounge in Las Vegas doing my one millionth rendition of Proud Mary.

Duncan:
Is this a thank you I'm hearing?

Claudia:
I thank you by being brilliant.

Duncan:
She said modestly.

Methos:
Excuse me, if I sat at a table, would you be my waitress?

Alexa Bond:
(to Joe) Is he a good tipper?

Joe Dawson:
No.

Alexa:
Well. Too bad. Makes up for it in cute, though.

Methos:
Cute. I can do cute.

Methos:
I'm, uh, Adam Pierson.

Alexa:
Where are you from?

Methos:
Umm...

Alexa:
Your accent. Your not from here.

Methos:
No, I've traveled a lot.

Alexa:
Really?!?! Paris?

Methos:
Paris is too full of Parisians. Even the French don't like Paris.

Alexa:
Venice?

Methos:
Venice, the smell alone would kill you.

Alexa:
A little young to be so cynical, aren't you?

Methos:
Well, if you say so.

Alexa:
I just did. (leaves)

Methos:
What did I say?

Joe:
Ah, forget it, Alexa's not your type, OK?

[Discussing Claudia]

Methos:
How long have you known her?

Duncan:
Since she was 14. She was living with a foster family. Pretty poor, and intimidated that they had a prodigy in their midst.

Methos:
And does she know...

Duncan:
That she's one of us? Doesn't have a clue.

[Walter has been trying to kill her]

Duncan:
You're completely insane!

Walter:
It makes so much sense, MacLeod! Don't read something diabolical into it.

Duncan:
Immortality is not a game of tag. You can't say "you're it!" or "you're it!". It's not for us to decide when a mortal life is over.

Walter:
But I must. If she doesn't die, now, at the pinnacle of her genius, it could be lost forever.

Duncan:
You don't know that!

Walter:
Ooh, Shakespeare. I found my purpose, MacLeod. Imagine, Claudia Jardine's talent living on through the ages... under my loving guidance.

Duncan:
Walter, get a life!

Walter:
Don't you see, she'll thank me. She will always be young, and beautiful, and passionate...

Duncan:
...and what happens when her fans see that she's not getting any older?

Alexa:
Well... either you like to drink or you're crazy about the blues.

Methos:
No, I was waiting for you... I see I leave you speechless, this is an excellent start.

Alexa:
A start to what?

Methos:
To... Dinner, a film, a concert, a smile, a sunset, a walk, all of the above, whatever you would like...

Alexa:
Do women really fall for that line?

Methos:
I have no idea, I've never used it before.

Alexa:
.... Why do you want to go out with me?

Methos:
Because the alternative is unthinkable.

Alexa:
I'm dying. You see, don't you? We can't go out tomorrow.

Methos:
Absolutely. We'd better make it tonight.

Methos:
Where's Alexa? We have a date.

Joe:
She called in sick.

Methos:
Where does she live?

Joe:
Adam, she doesn't want to see you, OK? Just leave her alone.

Methos:
Joe, I didn't ask for your opinion. I know she's dying, OK. You are all dying. 20 years, 6 months, what's the difference?

Joe:
She's protecting herself. She's protecting you, don't you get it?

Methos:
Yes, I get it! Now tell me where she lives.

Duncan MacLeod:
Amanda, you've lived for over a thousand years, how many times have you seen real magic?

Amanda:
MacLeod, I was an illiterate thief starving on the street before Rebecca found me and made me her student. This is all I have left of her. Magic or not, no-one's gonna take this from me!

Duncan:
There is no way Methos sent those men, not a chance!

Amanda:
Why not? It's perfect. It's wily, it's devious, it's... just like him.

Duncan:
Why are you doing this? You've lived this long without it, why do you need it now?

Methos:
Alexa... she's in hospital in Geneva, she doesn't have long.

Duncan:
You knew it had to be this way.

Methos:
Yeah, from the first moment I saw her. Is, is that supposed to make it easier? Is that supposed to make it OK?

Methos:
You understand nothing. Three weeks ago, we were standing on a beach on Santorini, watching the sun rise on the Mediterranean. Now she is lying in a hospital in Switzerland breathing through a tube! ... You think it takes courage to do what we do? Face another Immortal with a sword, knowing only one of you will live? You try being her! You try living one year, knowing that your time is running out. Knowing that when it comes to the final fight, however much you train, whatever tricks you have, you still lose! That's the way it is for them. So little time for them to see anything or do anything.

Methos:
My flight back to Geneva leaves at 10. She'll never know how close I came.

Duncan:
She'll know how much you love her.

Methos:
As much as I can for as long as she lives.

[At the circus]

Amanda:
How can you not be excited, MacLeod? Just the smell of sawdust, popcorn and cotton candy. This makes me feel like a kid! Oh, isn't it exciting! I mean the sights, the sounds, the carnies!

Duncan MacLeod:
The wonderful smell of wet fur. Low pay, rotten hours, sleeping in trucks.

Danny Cimoli:
Sorry, no more autographs, I've got a monster headache.

Duncan:
I don't want an autograph, and that's not a headache. We need to talk about who you are.

Danny:
(laughs) Like the poster says, I'm The Immortal Cimoli!

Duncan:
Ah, the Immortal Cimoli!

Amanda:
He's got that part figured out.

Duncan:
Listen to me. That headache that you got, all of us get it. It's how we know another one of us is around.

Danny:
Ah... look, Mister, I don't know what you're talking about...

Duncan:
... you died recently, a robbery or an accident or something? But you didn't stay dead, did you?

Danny:
How did you know?

Duncan:
Because it happened to me. Four hundred years ago.

Amanda:
We should talk.

Danny:
Ever since the truck hit me, I've thought, this can't last, one day it's going to end, bang, I won't get up. But if it lasts forever, I can do any trick. Anything, and I wont die! I'll be bigger than Houdini.

Duncan:
Sit down. Sit down! This isn't some trick for some magic act!

[They are in bed together]

Amanda:
MacLeod, you awake? What are you thinking about?

Duncan:
Umm, Danny.

Amanda:
Must be losing my touch.

Duncan:
No, you're not losing your touch!

[They snuggle]

Duncan:
What are you thinking about?

Amanda:
Moscow.

Duncan:
I must be losing my touch.

Danny:
The hell with the Rules, and the hell with the Game. I want out.

Amanda:
Sorry, Danny, but that's not an option.

Duncan:
Houdini was a friend of mine, and you, Danny, are no Houdini.

[Flashback to 1696]

Robert:
Well, well, well, what have we here, mice in the parlor. And Immortal mice at that.

Hugh Fitzcairn:
I told you there was another way in. Didn't I tell you?

Duncan MacLeod:
Be quiet! I'd be careful who I called a mouse, especially if I was a rat.

Robert:
(gazing at Gina) If you're a thief, I've never seen a comlier one.

Duncan:
You're the thief, we're just protecting her assets.

Robert:
And they are wonderful assets.

Fitzcairn:
If you please sir! A gentleman does not address a lady in that manner! I'll have his head!

Duncan:
Ah, don't be ridiculous. You being dead would probably put her off her appetite.

[Flashback to 1696]

Fitzcairn:
La-la, la-la-la-la-la!

Duncan:
You know, when I heard that voice I said to myself, "That must be Fitzcairn - either that or a dog in heat."

[At Robert and Gina's wedding (1696)]

Fitzcairn:
You realize, none of this would have happened if she had come to the opera with me that night.

Duncan:
No, she would have seen you for the raving lunatic you are and she would have been with me.

Fitzcairn:
I should have asked her to marry me while I still had the chance.

Duncan:
You, married? You couldn't stay faithful to a woman for what, more than one hour?

Fitzcairn:
Well I would have given it a fair try.

Gina:
Maybe we are not meant to spend three centuries together. I mean, who mates for life? Swans? Geese? Lobster?

Duncan:
Don't you want to see Robert and Gina live happily ever after?

Methos:
Yeah, but I want to see me live happily ever after even more.

Methos:
I knew it, I knew it! Getting between a married couple. It's a rule I haven't broken for two thousand years. I knew this would happen.

Duncan:
She'll cool off, I'm just telling you to be careful, that's all.

Methos:
Great, so I lose my head after five thousand years so that you can play marriage guidance counselor. I must have been out of my mind!

Season Four:
Fourth and final version of the narration (also by Jim Byrnes):