Keeping Up Appearances, Series 5 (1995)

Hyacinth:
(on the phone to Sheridan) Your car needs a respray? Oh, but I thought your friends liked that lilac colour.

Hyacinth:
Oh no dear! I couldn't let you loose as a Roman again!

Hyacinth:
Home, Richard! I will not share my throne with those impostors!

Hyacinth:
It's my sister, Violet. She's the one with the Mercedes, sauna and a musical bidet. Classical, of course.

Hyacinth:
(on the phone) Look, Rose. If you need somewhere private, bring him here. Then I can keep an eye on you, and Richard can show him his skis!

Elizabeth:
You're a grown man!

Emmet:
And she's a groan a minute!

Hyacinth:
(a little tipsy) I do hope, your Lordship, that someday you'll give me the pleasure of entertaining you at one of my candle-lie slippers. We shall most deferably be having a glass or two of the dowager Lady Ursula's home-goose wade-berry mine.

Richard:
Hyacinth, stop that at once and GET INTO THE CAR!

Man in phone box:
Well done, sir! In wartime, you'd have got a medal for courage like that.

Rose:
Why is Onslow reading the Financial Times?

Onslow:
I like to keep an eye on the economy. A bloke in my position has to wonder how long the country can afford him. If we don't get the economy right, people like me are gonna be in trouble! It's the duty of all of us to be concerned about the shrinking pound.

Daisy:
And when I married him, I thought he was just a sex symbol.

Hyacinth:
Now, what shall I wear to answer the telephone?

Hyacinth:
You have one last task to perform.

Richard:
What's that?

Hyacinth:
To go back into Number 24a.

Richard:
Why, for goodness' sake?

Hyacinth:
To get Daddy out!

Hyacinth:
(on the phone to Daisy) I need volunteers. My other people didn't turn up. Everybody seems to be ill. There's an epidemic doing things to grandmothers you just wouldn't believe!

Hyacinth:
(to Richard) Please make sure Onslow wears a tie at the funeral.

Vicar:
It was just a bump on the head, Mrs Bucket.

Hyacinth:
Tell God it's Bouquet!

Hyacinth:
(drunk) Don't turn left, Richard. Strrraight on!

Richard:
Why?

Hyacinth:
I want to take a little gift to Daddy: a bottle of the Dowager Lady Ursula's gomemade wooseberry hine.

Hyacinth:
The Bucket residence, the lady of the house speaking! No, I do not have an offer on spicy prawn balls. This is not the Chinese takeaway. And will you please get off my white slimline telephone with last number redial?

Hyacinth:
The Bouquet residence, the lady of the house speaking.

Hyacinth:
Oh, Richard!

Hyacinth:
I must answer my white, slimline telephone with last number redial, it's bound to be someone important.