Life on a Stick

Laz:
Does Mr. Hutt's constant rage remind you of anyone? Remember, from the fifth grade?

Fred:
Hitler?

Laz:
My dad and Step Mom decided that since i'm turning nineteen and they love me, they're throwing me out on the street like garbage.

Jasper:
You know I could learn a lot more from a person like you than I ever could eating this book?

Laz:
I’d deep fry the organ I hold most dear to please her. Although, thankfully, I don’t see how it would.

Laz:
Dad, Michelle, you’re home! We were just…playing Bible Charades! Who am I, here’s a hint: I’m fighting a giant!

Rick:
That’s beautiful; I mean who thinks that fast?

Rick:
You’re not a government Laz, you have responsibilities.

Fred:
Hey Venus, do guys ever get French tips?

Venus:
Depends, do you ever perform in ladies clothing?

Lily:
That was really sweet; I’ve always wondered what my name would sound like screamed as an evil chant.

Molly:
I hope you’re proud of yourself Mom, skating by on your looks and your bling. [In a mocking voice] I’m perfect, I’m beautiful, I don’t need to obey the law! Well why don’t I just get highlights and a boob job and drive 80 down the sidewalk?!

Laz:
Hey, if it’s true it takes more muscles to frown than smile, then my step-sister has a very strong mouth.

Michelle:
I know you hate it when I shop for you, but there’s this new thing called a skirt, and this one will look great with your boy! There’s a boy! Hello boy!

Mr. Hutt:
[singing] Weiner, wieners, wieners some are thick and some are thin. Wieners, wieners, wieners, our juices on your chin!

Laz:
Mr. Hutt, if we sing that, the police will come.

Laz:
I don’t want to overstate my role, but without me, Molly would be in jail and we’d all be dead.

Laz:
You got Herr Schmidt? He’s the worst. I used to answer his questions in Cling-On, the only language angrier than German.

Jasper:
I was playing around with vocab words we learned yesterday, and I think I can say, My beautiful tomato goes swimming at the library.

Fred:
Last time we went to the party store and tried to hit a piñata. We learned a valuable lesson about giving bats to four guys who can’t see…don’t!

Molly:
Call me old fashioned, but I don’t want the first person to touch my breasts to be holding a knife.