Lilo & Stitch: The Series, Season 1

[Experiment 625 is making a PB&J sandwich, he watches the news on Richter's quakes as Gantu fixes the communicator]

Gantu:
625, turn that thing off! I'm trying to get this communication relay online, and you're not helping!

625:
Aw, what's the matter? Can't handle plugging in wires by yourself? At least I'll be ready in case of a sandwich shortage.

Gantu:
Shortage?!

625:
[imitates a newsreel fanfare] Newsflash from the crash nebula, space whale! There was a quake today! I'm not taking chances. I'm stocking up.

Pleakley:
I've called you all together for an emergency earthquake readiness meeting. Now, planetary shaking is measured on what is called a Richter Scale. Today's quake was a 5.0, quite moderate and perfectly normal, but a good reminder to us all: be prepared and don't panic! I repeat: DO NOT! PANIC!

David:
Hey, Lilo, is your sister home?

Lilo:
Yeah, but I don't think she's feeling well. She said something about having a big zit.

Nani:
LILO!! [dashes to the front door] No! I'm fine.

Lilo:
Well, what were you popping when... [Nani covers her mouth until she licks her]

Nani:
Ugh! [chuckles nervously] What a darling.

Jumba:
[explaining Experiment 513] Quake today was teensy little jiggle to 513. He is programmed to look for weakest geological point on island, for to make one ginormous evil earthquake! [laughs maniacally] Most likely, 513 will have to look for big fault at base of volcano. Is imperative that he must never go underground... unless you want evil quake.

[Jumba has converted the family buggy into a giant drilling machine so Lilo and Stitch can hunt down Richter underground]

Lilo:
Let's go, Stitch. Stitch!

[Stitch is playing around with his new orange ball]

Jumba:
[takes ball] 626, what are you playing with? Looks like citrus orb.

Stitch:
Okata! [swipes the ball back]

Lilo:
He doesn't like people touching his orange ball. He's learning how to take care of things.

[Lilo, Stitch and the family are enjoying dinner at Macki Macaw's; the animatronic Macki, however, flames up and falls off the perch]

Jumba:
Primitive Earth entertainment technology. Very entertaining.

Pleakley:
Especially when he entertains by catching on fire. Fascinating.

[Stitch gets his glass ready as Pleakley pours soda to the group]

Lilo:
Wait your turn, Stitch. Macki may be combustibally challenged, but I love this place. It's homey. Why don't we come here more often?

[Stitch, patience run out after Pleakley does not pour him any soda, leaps onto the table, chugs the whole pitcher of soda down, and belches loudly]

Nani:
That's why.

Nani:
Lilo, have you finished giving him a bath?

[Stitch dashes out of the bathroom wearing an inner tube; Lilo begins chasing Stitch around the house; Stitch tries to squeeze through the doggy door, but can't due to his inner tube]

Lilo:
You know how he is about water. I almost had him lulled into a false sense of security, but then you said the b-word. Never say the b-word!

Nani:
You mean.... "BATH?"

[Stitch finally escapes leaving Lilo stuck in the inner tube]

Lilo:
Why do you torment me?

Lilo:
Pee-yew! How much pizza and soda can one mutant alien wear?

[Stitch sees Phantasmo (possessing Scrump) messing with Lilo's movies; he breaks free from the chains and begins attacking Scrump]

Lilo:
What's all the racket in there? That sounded like... Stitch?!

[as Lilo enters the room, Scrump goes into doll mode and Stitch spits it out]

Stitch:
Stitch not bad! Was scary dolly!

Lilo:
Scrump is very smart, Stitch. But she doesn't go around breaking plates and unscrewing videotapes.

[during Stitch's "trial"]

Pleakley:
Wasn't it Defendant 626 who chewed off the arm of Mr. Fluffybear here?

Lilo:
Objection! I sewed it back on.

Pleakley:
And how about little Suzy Teaparty? Anybody seen yer head? I haven't, because it's gone!

Lilo:
Objection! Stitch didn't mean to eat. It was a freak accident! He was accidentally hungry.

[Lilo, Jumba, and Pleakley are tied by Phantasmo after learning his secret]

Pleakley:
What does it want?!

Jumba:
375 has advanced programming. Now that we have learned his secret, he will probably get rid of us.

[Phantasmo possesses Scrump and picks up Jumba's gun]

Jumba:
Don't worry. The weapon is only loaded with net.

[Phantasmo replaces the net cartridge with another]

Jumba:
Ah! He has replaced net with my new laser cartridge! I am so proud of his smartness!

Lilo:
I'm not.

Pleakley:
And I'm just gonna faint. I'm too terrified to faint. How about if I just scream? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Nani:
So I hear there's an experiment out there that takes over inanimate objects?

Lilo:
Yep, makes it look like other innocent experiments did bad stuff when they didn't do anything wrong at all.

Nani:
Okay, I get it. My bad.

[after Phantasmo finds his one true place as possessing Macki Macaw to entertain]

Nani:
I owe you both an apology. I was wrong about you. Innocent until proven guilty. I'm old enough to know that. I'm sorry.

Lilo:
[whispers something into Stitch's ear] Okay, we'll forgive your behavior on one condition.

Stitch:
Nani buys games and pizza!

Nani:
[chuckles] I guess that's fair.

[Lilo and Stitch are at a beauty salon]

Lilo:
Now, pay attention, Stitch. To fit in on Earth, you need to be obsessed with how you look. [gesturing to two men who are mud-bathing] People come from all over to soak in this mud. They wanna be like pigs. Go ahead.

[Stitch grabs a handful of mud and shoves into his mouth, and then spits out on Lilo; Lilo then tries to throw the mud at Stitch, causing a large mud fight that messes up the entire beauty salon]

Salon Owner:
[comes through the door] Stop right there! Oh, just look at this mess!

Lilo:
Yeah, you really need to sweep all that hair.

Salon Owner:
Not the hair! THE MUD!!

[Lilo hangs her head sadly; Stitch, however, looks at the owner angrily]

Stitch:
Agata! [throws mud at the owner]

[Lilo and Stitch then run out of the salon]

Salon Owner:
And stay out!

[Lilo and Stitch bring Clip home]

Jumba:
[screams] Keep that thing away from me!

Lilo:
Cute little Clip?

Jumba:
Is not cute! Is Experiment #177, and is very dangerous.

Lilo:
She doesn't look dangerous.

Jumba:
Ah, but looks can be deceiving. You see it was many years ago, when my head was overflowing with evil ideas...

[a flashback shows a younger Jumba with long black flowing hair]

Jumba:
[voice-over] ...and healthy luxuriant hair follicles. I had devised Experiment 177, the Uburnium Eater!

[flashback then shows a space-style gas station selling Uburnium]

Jumba:
Uburnium is the most powerful and economical fuel source in all of universe! My Ubernium Eater would spark an insurmountable fuel price!

[the flashback shows the price sign for Uburnium go higher until it explodes]

Jumba:
Unfortunately, in the language of Kweltiquan, word for "Uburnium" is same as word for "hair". I did not realize mistake until... too late! I had accidentally created Hair Eater!

[flashback then shows young Jumba activating 177 for the first time; Clip comes to life and immediately eats all of Jumba's hair; back to present]

[Mertle Edmonds and the other hula girls exit the salon; Lilo hides the box Clip is in by sitting on it]

Mertle:
Hey, Weirdlo! I didn't know you got your hair cut here!

Lilo:
I don't.

Mertle:
Of course you don't. They never even let you in the door with that mess.

Lilo:
I like my hair!

Mertle:
You would! Maybe you should try this. [hands Lilo a bottle of hair conditioner] You'll need it more than I do.

Lilo:
Wow! For me? "Hair Conditioner: For Taming Wild Unruly Hair?!" Hey!

Mertle:
Don't be jealous. Not everyone can have perfect hair like me, especially not you.

Yuki, Teresa, and Elena:
YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!

[the girls laugh as they leave]

Lilo:
Mertle needs to be punished.

Stitch:
Yeah! Ih!

[Lilo and Stitch sneak into Mertle's backyard dressed as cat burglars]

Lilo:
[imitates radio static] Black Cat to Mutant Dog. Black Cat to Mutant Dog. Come in, Mutant Dog. Stitch! That's you!

Stitch:
Oh, me?

Lilo:
When I say "Black Cat", you're supposed to answer "Mutant Dog". It's cat burglar code. Black Cat to...

Stitch:
Mutant Dog.

[Clip escapes from Gantu by boarding a bus]

Gantu:
[growls with rage] Hairball! I am Gantu! Former captain of the Galactic Alliance! Conqueror of Paskimerus Militia! AND VAN GUARD COMMANDER OF BLACK OOL OPS! YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ME!!!!

[pause as three little kids stare at him in fright]

Gantu:
I mean, I... missed my bus.

[the kids run away screaming; then it begins to rain]

Gantu:
Oh, blitznak!

[Pleakley puts a large rainbow Afro wig on Jumba]

Pleakley:
This spectral diffraction style is very popular on Earth, particularly of amid followers of team sports. There! What do you think?

Jumba:
I look like large furry lollipop.

[Lilo, Stitch, and Jumba are talking to Mrs. Edmonds after startling her]

Lilo:
So you're not mad at us for scaring us like that?

Mrs. Edmonds:
Oh, no! Actually it was kinda exhilarating, in a frightening I-don't-know-what's-going-on sort of way.

Lilo:
I'm sorry about what happened to your hair.

Mrs. Edmonds:
Don't be sorry. I love it. If you ever find that little furball you're looking for, I'm going to thank it.

[after Mrs. Edmonds calls Jumba handsome, making him happy, his hair suddenly grows back]

Mrs. Edmonds:
Wow! That what I call a spontaneous something or other!

Jumba:
My hair! It has returned! I... HAVE... HAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Lilo:
Inside voice, Uncle Jumba.

[Gantu dances in a hula concert; Hämsterviel calls]

Hämsterviel:
Gantu?! What is going on?! Gantu?! What's that music?!

[Gantu throws his phone into a nearby punch bowl]

Hämsterviel:
GAAAAAAANNNNTUUUUUUUUUUUh!!!!

[Gantu returns to his ship after failing to capture Experiment 254]

Hämsterviel:
Well, where is my stink bomb?!

Gantu:
I'm afraid the little girl and the abomination...

Hämsterviel:
Again?! You with your large stomping feet and shooting blaster can't get one experiment from a little girl?! Tell me how lame you are! TELL ME!!!

625:
Whoa! Hmm, well, there's no right answer there. I'd put it somewhere in the S's between "Shockingly lame" and "Stunningly lame".

Gantu:
Please. I'm having a meeting.

Hämsterviel:
Stop it with the not paying attention to me! Now get that experiment before I come there and nibble your flabby knuckles, you blue-tinted, offspring of a fish!

Gantu:
Yessir!

[Mertle and the girls walk by as Lilo and Stitch refuel their buggy]

Lilo:
Hey, guys. Wanna see my new...

Mertle:
No.

Lilo:
I didn't even say what it was yet.

Mertle:
The answer is still no.

Lilo:
Okay. If you don't want to see the cutest thing ever.

Mertle:
If you think bugs are cute, I bet whatever it is, it's ugly!

Lilo:
Yeah, well, you're wrong! He's even cuter than a potato...

Elena:
Cuter than a potato?

[Mertle and the girls turn their attention to 254; they run up to his container to get a closer look]

Elena:
Look at him! He is cuter than a potato!

Yuki:
I want one!

Lilo:
I knew you'd like him!

Mertle:
Ahem! [the girls huddle up with Mertle and they whisper something to each other, and then turn to Lilo] You are formally invited to the FHGH tea party tomorrow.

Lilo:
Really? YAAAAY!! Um, what's that?

Mertle:
It's stands for "Future Hawaiian Girls of Hawaii". But you can only come if you bring him.

Lilo:
Okay!

[Lilo and Stitch take 254 to their house]

Jumba:
Yes, 254 is designed to be irresistible.

[254 gives a record to Stitch; Stitch angrily grabs the record and places 254 on it and makes it spin on Lilo's record player]

Jumba:
Of course, other experiments are immune to his charms.

Pleakley:
[picks up 254] Well, I think he's absolutely precious, not at all like the little monster.

[Stitch growls with rage]

Jumba:
[takes 254] Uh, is best not being attached. It may look harmless, but in reality, is a ticking stink bomb.

Lilo:
Stink bomb? This little guy?

Jumba:
Very soon, it will emit odor so noxious, will make 40 square mile area uninhabitable for decades! [laughs maniacally] But yes, is cute as garment fastener.

Pleakley:
But he smells okay now.

Jumba:
254 is programmed to start his stinking 42 hours after activation to allow to time to infiltrate target. Problem is we have no way of knowing when he was activated.

[Stitch angrily has 254 tied up]

Pleakley:
Is the smell really that bad?

Jumba:
[chuckles] Trust me. He'll have you losing many lunches with disgusting stench!

Lilo:
[unties 254] Well, that's what I'm naming him: Mr. Stenchy! And I don't care how much he reeks. I'm keeping him.

[Stitch, shocked and angered by Lilo's words, screams into a pillow]

[Stitch pins down Gantu and aims his own laser gun at him]

Stitch:
Nala kweesta! Ha-ha!

Gantu:
One day, you'll fail to protect one of those experiments! And I will take it away forever!

Stitch's Shoulder Devil:
Ichiba!

Stitch's Other Shoulder Devil:
Ih! Ih! Keeba! [the both vanish]

Stitch:
[chuckles sinisterly] La-dee-da-dee! [tosses Gantu's gun] Oopsie!

Lilo:
Stupid ball.

Officer Kahiko:
It's only Lilo and her dog.

Leilani:
[annoyed] Ugh! Lilo again?! You should do something about that kalohe.

Officer Kahiko:
Like, put her in the big house?

Leilani:
Would do her some good. That dog, too!

Mrs. Edmonds:
Excuse me! Hi. I'm looking for something for my daughter. It's her birthday tomorrow.

Leilani:
How 'bout this? I just made it yesterday, one of my best. [holds out a bracelet, unaware with Experiment 606's pod on it as a charm as the camera zooms in up close]

Mrs. Edmonds:
Oh, it's perfect!

Officer Kahiko:
How's it, Lilo?

Lilo:
Oh, Officer Kahiko. I know the drill: I have the right to remain silent. Whatever I say...

Officer Kahiko:
Very funny. [notices Lilo's football made of seaweed] What you got there?

Lilo:
Football. We're on a budget.

Officer Kahiko:
Lilo, I know you were just playing, but your dog wrecked Leilani's jewelry table. Auntie's on a fixed income. She don't need you causing trouble. Does your sister know you're here?

Lilo:
Uh, no. But I'll tell her when I get home, okay?

Officer Kahiko:
No worries. I got her on speed dial. [pulls out his walkie-talkie]

[Pleakley is doing yoga]

Jumba:
What are you doing?

Pleakley:
Yoga, an ancient Earth discipline that's wonderful exercise for both body and mind. You should try it instead of stuffing yourself with all that flesh-based food.

Jumba:
Hey, I am liking flesh-based food!

Pleakley:
Suit yourself. But since I stopped eating anything with a face, I feel cleansed and rejuvenated.

Mertle:
Everybody, I have an announcement to make. Ahem! Tomorrow is the most important day of the year: my birthday! I'm having a super special birthday party! [gives out birthday invitations to Yuki, Teresa, and Elena] Oh, look! No more invitations!

Lilo:
Well, that's okay. I wouldn't wanna come to your party anyway. Not with... that thing out there!

Elena:
What thing?

Lilo:
You mean to tell me that you've never heard of the... um... [notices a gecko] Geckolicky?

Elena:
No!

Teresa:
Uh-uh!

Yuki:
What is it?

Lilo:
It's an ugly horrible creature, whose soul purpose is to devour birthday cake and partygoers with its bloody fangs!

Mertle:
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard! And just for that, you're even more not invited now! Come on, girls! [she and the other girls leave]

Lilo:
Alright, but you'll be sorry! The Geckolicky is hungry for blood! AND FROSTING!!

Lilo:
As soon as I put on this costume, it's hello, Geckolicky, and goodbye party. Now hold still, ok? [Stitch gets under her as they dress up as the Geckolicky; making spooky sounds] Ooh! I am the Geckolicky! Surrender now or face my slimy wrath!

Teresa:
The Geckolicky!

[Mertle and her friends scream in terror and flee]

Stitch:
[peeks through the hole and spots a plate of coconut cupcakes on the table] Ooh! Coconut cupcake! [bursts through the fence]

Lilo:
Stitch, no! [falls off of Stitch and lands in the pool]

[The girls watch from the bushes as Stitch scarfs down the cupcakes, still in his Geckolicky disguise]

Teresa:
The Geckolicky is after our blood! And frosting!

[As Nani bring Lilo and Stitch both home after "crashing" Mertle's birthday party]

Lilo:
I'm telling you, there's an experiment pod on Mertle Edmonds' new bracelet that she got for her birthday.

Jumba:
Did you see number?

Lilo:
That's what I was trying to do when Mrs. Edmonds dragged me off Mertle.

[Pleakley can be heard chanting before Nani and Jumba see him with his body twisted]

Pleakley:
Oh, hello, fellow spirit beings. I hope my chanting wasn't bothering you.

Nani:
Pleakley, are you alright?

Pleakley:
Hmm? Oh, I'm incredible. Really, truly. It's so amazing. Yes, at first I was in excruciating pain, but it was all part of the process. Once I transcended that, I realized that the pain was just an illusion.

Jumba:
You have got to be kidding me! [grabs Pleakley and stretches his legs] Pain is only illusion! Ha!

[Stitch goes into the pet shop, alone, disguised as a bunny, to see the number on the experiment pod on Mertle's bracelet as she and her friends enter while Lilo hides outside in the backseat of a police car]

Stitch:
[through walkie-talkie] Experiment 606.

Lilo:
[opens up Jumba's computer and searches up Experiment 606; horrified] Oh, no. [on walkie-talkie] Stitch. Come in, Stitch! Experiment 606 is a black hole that will suck in the whole world!

Lilo:
[shouting out to Mertle in warning about not getting the experiment pod wet as Nani drags her away] Don't get it wet! It'll destroy everything!

[Pleakley is still doing yoga while Jumba is eating a pastrami sandwich]

Pleakley:
Do you mind? I'm trying to become one with the universe.

Jumba:
And I am trying to become one with pastrami sandwich!

Lilo:
Mertle Edmonds has activated Experiment 606!

Jumba:
Oh, whee! I was hoping she would try!

Lilo:
Now, it's gonna suck the whole universe to a big black hole!

Pleakley:
You say, "black hole"?

Lilo:
Yep.

Pleakley:
[suddenly panics] THERE'S NO ESCAPE FROM AN ASTRONOMICAL EVENT LIKE THAT!! To think, the universe is ending, and all I was worried about was eternal wisdom?! If this is my last day on Earth, I'm eating pastrami! [grabs Jumba's sandwich and eats it]

[Lilo arrives at the Halloween party dressed up as a dead hula girl with scary makeup and a fake axe on her head, frightening all the other guests]

Moses:
Lilo, your costume…

Lilo:
Isn't it cool? Watch this! [twangs her axe handle]

Moses:
Yes, but… Well, maybe you should change it to something more like... like what your friends are wearing. [gestures to Mertle and the girls; who are all dressed up like princesses]

Lilo:
Princess, princess, princess, or princess?

Mertle:
At least we're not a weirdo, weirdo, weirdo, or weirdo!

Yuki, Teresa and Elena:
YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!

Lilo:
Okay. I'll be a princess, too.

Moses:
Good idea. [as Lilo leaves] You go home, change, and then come back.

Mertle:
Or go home, change, and don't come back!

[Moses sighs]

[Jumba is dressed up as Julius Caesar]

Jumba:
I am absolutely refusing to be wearing this! It's too itchy! [he scratches so rigorously that his belly soon comes through] And that is least of problems!

Pleakley:
[Dressed as Cleopatra] But you have to wear it! The Queen of the Nile demands it! Besides, I am not missing out on trick-or-treating on my first night of Heelowatty!

Lilo:
It's pronounced "Halloween". I need a new costume: a princess. Can you make it quick?

Pleakley:
Can I? Well, let me tell you I have the fastest fingers in my primitive Earth custom: fleeced and pinking shears class.

[Stitch has been scared stiff after Experiment 300 turned into his worst fear:
water; Lilo appears and the water drains into the ventilation shaft]

Lilo:
Stitch, what happened?

Stitch:
Hissing green eyes! Hissing green eyes! Hissing green eyes!

Lilo:
You're not scared, are you?

Stitch:
[pause] Naga!

Lilo:
Elena said something about hissing green eyes, too.

[Stitch shudders in fright]

[Jumba and Pleakley are dressed as the main characters of Gone with the Wind]

Pleakley:
I do declare, we look simply marvelous! Don't we look marvelous? I think we do!

Jumba:
Frankly, my dear, I am not giving darn. I hate this costume!

Pleakley:
Fine, I'll just start over then! A whole new concept! I'm thinking... sequins, satin, Spain! I got it! Matador! Ole!

[Experiment 300 shows up at the Pelekai house, as Nani's worst fear:
Cobra Bubbles, wanting to take Lilo away from her]

Nani:
You can't take her away from me! She needs me! I thought we worked this out.

"Cobra":
[as Lilo and Stitch return home] I'm… s-s-s-s-sorry.

[Lilo sees "Cobra", throws her fake axe at him, knocking off his sunglasses, with green eyes, charges and grabs him by the ankle]

Nani:
Lilo!

Jumba:
[hearing the crashing sound] What is that?

Nani:
Lilo, no! Have you gone lolo?! Lilo! [screams in horror as "Cobra" morphs back into Experiment 300] Who… what is that?!

Lilo:
Experiment 300! But I'm calling him, Spooky!

[Spooky turns into Pleakley's worst fear:
his mother]

Pleakley's Mother:
Pleakley, is that you?! [stepping out of the shadows] How come you never call?!

Pleakley:
MOTHER!

[Spooky, as Pleakley's mother, scolds Pleakley as he sobs]

Pleakley's Mother:
I give you the best years of my life, and this is the thanks I get?!

Jumba:
Oh, no! Is Pleakley's worst fear. [Spooky then turns into his worst fear: his ex-wife] Ahhh! Is my worst fear: ex-wife!

Jumba's Ex-Wife:
When are you getting a real job?! Is like you never help around house!

[Lilo, Stitch and Spooky are giving treats to trick-or-treaters]

Nani:
Lilo, what's going on here?

Lilo:
Halloween. Watch.

[One kid gets ready for candy and Spooky turns into his worst fear:
a giant python]

Kid:
Ah-ha-ha! I hate snakes!

Stitch:
Taka! [gives the kid a handful of candy]

Kid:
Man, this is the coolest house in the whole neighborhood!

Lilo:
[to Spooky] Yeah, I'll know you around Haunted House, where you will fit in just fine.

Hämsterviel:
Contact Gantu.

Gantu:
Yes, Dr. Hämsterviel?

Hämsterviel:
Explain to me, you overgrown sea bass, why mechanic hamster on cam holds no evil genetic experiments?

Gantu:
There haven't been any experiments activated recently…

Computer:
Warning: Experiment 520 activated.

Gantu:
...until now.

Hämsterviel:
Mmm-hmm, and, uh, what are you waiting for? GET IT AND SEND IT TO ME!!!

[Lilo and Stitch are drawing ideas for the upcoming Aloha Sand-Sculpting Contest]

Lilo:
How are your Aloha designs coming, Stitch?

Stitch:
[shows Lilo a drawing of Mertle being zapped by a UFO] Eebah. [turns the page to show another of her being chased by a dinosaur] Zeebah. [turns the page to show another of her being chased by the Grim Reaper] Keebah!

Lilo:
[chuckles] Stitch, that's mean. Moses is right. We don't know what aloha means.

[David and Nani take Lilo to the Birds of Paradise Pool]

David:
Don't worry. I know how to cheer a sad Lilo.

Nani:
But, David, the pool at Birds of Paradise is for hotels guests only! There are, like, ten signs!

David:
Relax, Nani. I was here yesterday, and I figured out their system: All the hotel guests have special blue towels, and so do we.

[scene cuts to them relaxing by the pool]

David:
See? Instant vacation!

Lilo:
Come on, Stitch! Photo safari! [they both leave to take pictures of the tourists]

Nani:
Are you sure this is okay?

David:
Relax. Lilo and I sneak in here all the time.

Nani:
You what?!

David:
Just chill out and enjoy your... [Mr. Jameson appears] Uh, honeymoon! Sweetheart! [hugs Nani]

Mr. Jameson:
Hello, sir, ma'am. Are you guests here?

David:
Uh, yeah!

Mr. Jameson:
And what's your room number?

Nani:
257!

David:
319!

[they both look at each other]

David:
257!

Nani:
319! Uh, 257!

Mr. Jameson:
Mmm-hmm. Well, we don't have a Room 319,257! And besides, today is red towel day, not blue!

David:
[chuckles nervously as Nani glares at him] Busted.

[Nani arrives home while Pleakley mops the kitchen floor]

Nani:
Where's Lilo? Is she here?

Pleakley:
No, but a freshly mopped floor was here! Apparently, it just left!

[Lilo and Stitch arrive]

Nani:
Lilo! Are you alright?

Lilo:
I'm fine! But Stitch and me need to borrow your car!

Nani:
My car? Are you lolo?!

Lilo:
Stitch could drive!

Nani:
He doesn't have a license!

Stitch:
[pulls out his collar and license] Chuwapa!

Nani:
Sorry. We only have one working car, and I need it for work!

Lilo:
But there's an experiment loose!

Nani:
It can find its own ride! I have to get to the rental hut. Business is way off, and old man Juan is getting grouchy.

Lilo:
But--

Nani:
I'll be home after work! [leaves]

Jumba:
Uh, little girl, is my hearing correct? One of my precious creations is running about free?

Lilo:
Yeah. It likes water and it has a really big butt. [opens the doggy door] JUST LIKE MY SISTER!!

Nani:
Hey!

Jumba:
Experiment that is liking water and having large posterior. Ah! That would be 520! [chuckles] I was true evilling genius that day. 520 turns any body of water into giant destructive wave!

Lilo:
It keeps trying to get to the ocean.

Jumba:
That I'd like to be seeing! Would make wave so big, whole planet will be destructed! [laughs maniacally until he notices Lilo glaring at him] Oh, it would be bad thing, yes?

Lilo:
Hello?! Just think of all the jellyfish! No jellyfish, no jelly, no PB&J!

[Gantu hops back to his ship after Stitch immobilized him with life preservers]

Gantu:
625! [hops into the main room but fall over]

625:
Whoa! Rough day? Whoo! You look like last week's lettuce!

Gantu:
Get a blaster! Hurry!

625:
[grabs a blaster] Okay, now what?

Gantu:
Cut me free, you insipid trog!

625:
You're in luck, fish breath. I took a class in advanced applied blasting. [fires the blaster]

Gantu:
Hey!

625:
Oops! [fires the blaster again]

Gantu:
Careful!

625:
Sorry! [fires the blaster once more]

Gantu:
Ow!

625:
Stop squirming!

Gantu:
Ooh!

625:
My bad.

Gantu:
You almost vaporized me!

625:
Oh, yeah? That's what my teacher used to say!

[After 520 creates a giant wave to wash away Gantu]

Lilo:
I'm gonna name you, Cannonball, because you like to make waves.

Cannonball:
Nagachu!

Moses:
Congratulations, Lilo! [places the first place ribbon on Lilo's sand sculpture] Mertle's design is good, too, but you showed more aloha today. [gestures to the giant "ALOHA" signature on the tower]

Lilo:
Awesome!

[Gantu wakes up after being washed away by Cannonball]

Gantu:
Huh?! San Francisco?! Oh, dumb blitznak!

[Lilo goes through a shopping list while Stitch carries the groceries]

Lilo:
That's it: Eggs, bread, peanut butter... Didn't we buy this stuff two days ago?

Stitch:
[eats the whole grocery bag] Kinjiju ichay!

Lilo:
Oh, right. You ate everything.

[Stitch goes crazy after eating a whole barrel full of Kona coffee beans and chugs down water from a fire hydrant]

Mertle:
Looks like your weird dog needs to go to obedient school.

Yuki, Teresa and Elena:
YYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!

Lilo:
Stitch is obedient! He just has a problem with coffee. Stitch! Shut it off!

[Stitch twists the hydrant and puts the valve back on]

Lilo:
[notices Mertle's new Shih-Tzu] You have a dog?

Mertle:
We prefer the term, "fur-person". I found her. Her name is Gigi. She's going to the National Junior Dog Show in Honolulu this weekend.

[As Stitch goes near Gigi, she yaps loudly at him]

Stitch:
Hmmm...

Mertle:
But you wouldn't know anything about dog shows!

Lilo:
I know everything about dog shows!

[a chomp is heard and Lilo sees that Stitch has swallowed Gigi alive; Mertle screams]

Lilo:
Stitch! [pulls Gigi out of Stitch's mouth and gives her back to Mertle] Sorry. It's the coffee.

Mertle:
[gasps] Gigi's clauffeur! [Lilo pull's Gigi's bow out of Stitch's mouth] Found it! [puts the bow back on Gigi]

[Jumba and Pleakley agrees to take Lilo to Honolulu to enter in the dog show]

Nani:
You promise to watch her?

Jumba:
As if she were precious treasure. Crossing my heart.

Pleakley:
And I will make sure she brushes her teeth and wears her seatbelt and never talks to rangers!

Nani:
Strangers!

Pleakley:
No strangers? But some of the most interesting people to talk to are stran... [Nani glares at him angrily] Right! No strangers!

[Gantu gears up to capture another experiment]

625:
Hey, going out to capture a useless experiment, huh?

Gantu:
Useless, perhaps, but this one should be easy.

625:
Yeah, right, halibut head! That's what you said about the other two or three dozen!

Gantu:
Ah, but I have a new strategy: Since the little girl and the abomination always seem one step ahead of me, I'll simply follow them! [laughs but then hears thunder] Ah, thundershower! Hmm, maybe Hämsterviel doesn't need this experiment. He's in jail anyway. How would he find out if...

625:
[talking to Hämsterviel] That's exactly what he said, sir: "Maybe Hämsterviel doesn't need this experiment!" [Gantu angrily glares at 625] Don't forget your umbrella!

[after the gang land in Honolulu, courtesy of Pleakley's 28 credit cards]

Pleakley:
At last, the big city.

[Stitch runs up to a view of Honolulu and laughs maniacally]

Lilo:
I know you always wanted to see a big city.

Jumba:
See big cities? 626 programmed to destroy big cities!

Lilo:
But he won't, because he wants to be good and help me win the dog show and show Mertle we're not riffraff! Right, Stitch?

Stitch:
[reluctantly] Mmm-hmm.

Registration Lady:
Dog's name?

Lilo:
Stitch.

Registration Lady:
And what exactly is your dog's breed, dear?

Lilo:
Blue-furred Extoplasmic Detection Dog. Ancient Egyptians used them to contact their mummy relatives in the underworld.

Registration Lady:
I don't see any...

Lilo:
He's very rare. Probably the last of his breed. Only the top dog people really know about them.

[Lilo wakes up]

Lilo:
It's 6:30! We overslept! Stitch, wake up! [pulls out the blanket to see Stitch gone] Oh, no! He went out to destroy the city!

Jumba:
Ooh! I always wanted to witness that!

[they suddenly look behind them to see Stitch has actually left to grab some ice cubes]

Stitch:
Egata?

Lilo:
Oh, I thought... Never mind.

[Gantu captures Gigi]

Mertle:
My Gigi!

Jumba:
My experiment!

Pleakley:
Your what?!

Jumba:
Experiment 007! Did not to recognize after so many grooming and watch ribbons!

Lilo:
Gigi... is an experiment?!

Jumba:
Sure! Very early project. Can lie down, sit, fetch, annoy neighbors with evil shrill bark.

[Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley have returned home; Pleakley counts the beauty products he got from Honolulu]

Pleakley:
Soaps, shampoos, bathrobe, love it! It's just like being there!

Nani:
[appears with a ton of mail] All the mail is for you, Pleakley. Looks like it's all bills.

Pleakley:
Bills? What are bills?

Nani:
Bills are what you owe when you charge on your 28 credit cards!

Pleakley:
Owe? As in money? Nobody asked for any money. [looks at a bill] Oh, my goodness! Is that a balance due or an intergalactic zip code?! How can they do this to me?! I'm not even a citizen!

[Gantu gets out of his shower to find that Experiments 501 and 502 have both activated at the same time]

Gantu:
By the luck of the Fubockoo Nebula! Two experiments at the same time! Do you realize what this means?! Dr. Hämsterviel will pay a double bounty on delivery! [625 is sitting in his chair, reading a book] Eh, 625? [no response, Gantu removes the book to see that 625 is really fast asleep] 625!!

625:
[wakes up to see Gantu in a towel] Ooh, yow! Not what I like to see when I first wake up! [gets up to leave]

Gantu:
[blocks the way out] I've been thinking...

625:
Ooh, careful! Don't hurt yourself using all that brain power!

Gantu:
It's time you started pulling your weight around here. You're going to help me capture those experiments!

625:
Y'know what, babe, I would love to, but I can't. It'd cut in to my sandwich schedule.

Gantu:
[grabs 625 and gets ready to punch him] Add this to you schedule: A knuckle sandwich!

625:
Just lost my appetite! Fine, I'll go! [Gantu drops him] Whoa! Hold on, brainiac! Don't you think it'd be better if we split up and each went after one experiment?

Gantu:
What? I'd just leave you alone to goof off?!

625:
If Wittle Gantu needs me to hold his hand and go witch him, I will!

Gantu:
Fine! We'll each catch our own!

625:
Good! I'll just pack some sandwiches.

[Lilo and Stitch get into an argument after failing to wax David's board while David was trying to teach them about Yin and Yang]

Lilo:
I don't know what David was talking about. I could've waxed that board without you!

Stitch:
Naga tay!

Lilo:
Could too! Because I'm smarter!

Stitch:
Hmph! Wa naga tikiday!

[Lilo and Stitch fail to capture 501 and 502]

Lilo:
You had him, alright! Tied up his arms like a pretzel! It was hurting him, you big bully!

Stitch:
Nugishaw!

Lilo:
It was not my fault!

Stitch:
Nugishaw!

Lilo:
Was not!

Stitch:
Nugishaw!

Lilo:
WAS NOT!!

[Jumba explains 501 and 502 to Lilo and Stitch]

Jumba:
Is very important 501 and 502 do not come in contact.

Lilo:
Why?

Jumba:
If they were to touch, could be cataclysmic disaster of epic proportions!

Lilo:
Why?

Jumba:
Because of massive release of quantum energy! 501 plus 502 equal one big boom!

Pleakley:
What is it with you and the big booms and the evil and the destruction? Why didn't you create an experiment to do something constructive, like, say, oh, I don't know, IRONING?!

Jumba:
I am genius only! Not miracle worker.

[Lilo and Stitch challenge each other that they can capture the experiments without the other]

Jumba:
626 accepts little girl's challenge. Of course, genetically superior 626 will easily catches target before little girl.

Pleakley:
Pshaw! He's nothing without Lilo! She has Earth brains, Earth instinct. He's just a monster!

Jumba:
Perhaps willing to make a wager?

Pleakley:
Willing?! I am dying to! But galactic waging rules requires stakes.

Jumba:
[chuckles] Stakes are best part. Let's see. Ha! Loser of bet must perform dreaded Gloknar Ceremony Dance!

Pleakley:
[gasps] The thunky Gloknar?! The Witless Dance of 1,000 hours!

Jumba:
Is one-eye scared like "bok-bok" Earth fowl that crosses road?

Pleakley:
Not this one-eye, Senor Four-Eye!

[Gantu falls into a 625's sandwich trap as Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley spy on them]

Gantu:
Did you hear that?! Those experiments have escaped again, thanks to you!

Lilo:
Oh, no!

625:
Oh, that is so pathetic that you have to blame for your screwup! Hmph!

Gantu:
If we had worked together in the first place, like I said, we wouldn't be in this mess!

[Lilo and Stitch realize the error of their ways after hearing this]

Lilo:
The big dummy is right, Stitch.

Stitch:
Ih.

Lilo:
Maybe if we worked together...

Jumba:
Never mind making up! First, be finding 501 and 502 and making certain they do not make with the touching or tapping or patting!

Lilo:
Why do you keep saying that?

Jumba:
If I'm telling once, I'm telling more than once! Lava genius experiment and water genius experiment must not touch!

Lilo:
Wait a minute, that's not what David said.

Jumba:
And what does local surfer boy know of this?!

Lilo:
Maybe it's what he was trying to tell us about Yin and Yang: two very different things come together to make on good thing. Like peanut butter and jelly. Or doughnuts and mustard.

Stitch:
Stitch and Lilo?

Lilo:
Yeah.

[Lilo and Stitch work together to capture Yin and Yang and shake hands at the end]

Pleakley:
Aha! Lilo's clever plan worked! I win!

Jumba:
No, no, no! It was 626's strength and agility that captured experiments. I am winning!

Lilo:
Nope! We caught'em at the exact same time together. Right, Stitch?

Stitch:
Ih, ih!

Jumba:
Which means we tied! Yeah-- Oh! No, is not good.

Pleakley:
Intergalactic wagering rules states in the events of a tie, both parties must pay the bet! [sobs] We both lose!

[Lilo falls over while trying to skateboard without following Keoni's advice]

Keoni:
Crazy bale! Are you alright?

Lilo:
Skateboarding is stupid.

Keoni:
Hey, no pain, no gain. You can't expect to learn it all in one try.

Lilo:
I tried twice!

Keoni:
This time, I'll teach you how to stop.

Lilo:
I know how to stop. I'm stopping skateboarding. [takes off the helmet and gives it to Keoni] Let's go, Stitch.

[Stitch gives Keoni his backpack, which is empty after he ate Keoni's shoes and macadamia nuts, and then leaves with Lilo]

Jumba:
Ah, yes! That's 601. Oh, he's trouble. Is big bully. Sole purpose is to pick fights. Will defeat anyone except, maybe, 626.

Lilo:
No experiment can beat Stitch. Stitch is undefeatable! Right, Stitch?

Stitch:
[standing on the ceiling] Ih. [grumbles and then falls off the ceiling]

Lilo:
Come on, we've got to catch 601, and you're driving!

Stitch:
Ih!

[scene cuts to Stitch driving the buggy in reverse]

Lilo:
You really aren't yourself today, are you?

[Jumba diagnoses Stitch to see what is wrong with him]

Jumba:
I have diagnosis!

Lilo:
What is it?

Jumba:
He ate macadamia nut.

Pleakley:
That's it?

Lilo:
Is that bad?

Jumba:
Normally, macadamia nut is delicious snack. But data indicates he also ate tennis shoe.

Lilo:
A left one, but he spit it up!

Jumba:
Not soon enough. Combination of metolayic acid found in macadamia nut oil and tennis shoe rubber created same chemical compound as Crezonyte.

Pleakley:
Crezonyte?! Ugh! Ew! It's toxic stuff! It ruins your complexion! Ruined mine anyway!

Lilo:
So... what did that stuff do to Stitch?

Jumba:
Caused system to shut down. He is like computer creation. Wipe out all training memory. 626's superpowers go super-kaput!

Lilo:
How will he defeat 601 if he can't remember how to fight?

Jumba:
[sighs] We'll have to retrain from scratch.

Lilo:
You did once. You can do it again, right?

Jumba:
Wrong. Last time training gave slipped disk.

Lilo:
So who's gonna retrain Stitch? Me?

Jumba:
Excellent idea! [drops a stack of books near Lilo] Here are training manuals, must be trained in agility, hand-by coordination, and strength. Wishing you for good luck.

[Stitch is almost done with his training]

TV Reporter:
This just in: The purple pugilist pig was just seen running down Pier 13. It appears he's headed for Muscle Bay.

Stitch:
[snarls] Ogata! Ogata!

Lilo:
Almost, but not yet. We've got one more training manual to go: "Fighting Four-Armed Beasts".

Stitch:
Stitch ready!

Lilo:
Don't you think this might come in handy?

Stitch:
Carachita! [runs off to challenge Kixx]

Lilo:
Stitch, no! You're gonna get your keister kicked! STITCH!!!

[Gantu has a broken leg after being defeated by Kixx]

Gantu:
How could it beat me?! I'm an expert at 12 martial arts! Judo, Glaxian Jiu-Jitsu!

625:
You're lying! The only martial you know is Tae-kwan-get-your-butt-kicked!

Gantu:
I will not be made a fool of!

625:
Too late!

Gantu:
I will capture you...

[Lilo and Stitch lost an experiment pod to a seagull who flew off to Ni'ihau; Lilo and Stitch ride around the rental hunt on their tricycle]

Lilo:
Aloha, Nani! Going to Ni'ihau! Bye!

Nani:
Lilo!

Lilo:
[whispers to herself] Almost made it.

Nani:
You are not crossing 15 miles of open ocean alone.

Lilo:
But I'll have Stitch with me.

Nani:
Stitch sinks, remember?

Lilo:
Then why don't you come?

Nani:
I can't. I told David I'd help out at the resort luau, setting tables and lighting tiki torches.

Lilo:
But this is an epic showdown. You see, although I believe all creatures have some good in them, Stitch thinks Gantu is pure evil. So, he really wants to get this experiment pod we're after.

Stitch:
Ih! [pedals hardly on the trike]

Lilo:
No, Stitch! Wait!

Stitch:
[pedals so hard that part of the trike becomes buried in sand] Spabata!

Nani:
[sighs] Alright. You can go, but house rules apply.

Lilo:
I know: take Jumba and Pleakley and be home for dinner! Thanks! And good luck with your bit torch-lighting gig!

Nani:
And good luck fighting evil! What am I saying?

[Stitch takes his duty to find the experiment very seriously as he looks around the rocks]

Stitch:
Maka maka! Egata!

Lilo:
What's your hurry?

Stitch:
Meega kweesta Gantu!

Lilo:
We're not after Big, Tall, and Ugly. Let's just concentrate on getting the pod before he does, okay?

[Gantu returns to his ship after looking around the island while 625 relaxes nearby]

625:
Hey, I see you caught an experiment!

Gantu:
What?! Where?!

625:
Gotcha! [laughs] Ah, you're way too easy, G! So, did ya find anything?

Gantu:
Only ocean and a wall of rock. The trog probably got to the experiment first!

625:
[hears a zap sound] Hey, is that the experiment?

Gantu:
Ha, ha, very funny.

625:
No, no, no! I mean it! [ducks behind a rock]

Gantu:
I'm not falling for it!

[Suddenly, a giant plasma shot explodes near Gantu and he is blasted to where 625 is hiding]

Gantu:
You weren't kidding.

625:
Figured it out by yourself, did ya, fish flanks?

[Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, Pleakley, Gantu, and 625 are stranded on the island due to Splodyhead]

Lilo:
Okay, things are not working out like we planned, but they could be worse.

Pleakley:
Worse than being trapped under this rock and stranded on this accursed island?!

625:
Without food and water?!

Jumba:
Don't forget, 619 is waiting to blast us to pieces.

Gantu:
And the sun is going down.

Lilo:
Well... We could have the mumps.

[everyone stares at Lilo in disbelief]

[Nani returns home with groceries]

Nani:
Lilo? Anybody? [the phone rings; she picks it up] Lilo?

David:
Nani? It's David. You still coming by to help set up the luau?

Nani:
[sighs] Lilo went to Ni'ihau with the aliens. She was supposed to be home by now, but, of course, she isn't, so....

David:
Rescue mission?

Nani:
Bingo.

[after Jumba tells Lilo that Splodyhead plans to pick the group off one by one]

Pleakley:
[draws an eye on a coconut] One by one? Marking us each for a fiery demise, 'till one of use is left all alone. It really will be me! Right, Coco? Coco here was raised on the Forbidden Isle, and knows the secrets of its evil curse!

Jumba:
Strange fruit has secret information? Let me see, gimme that.

Pleakley:
Stay away from Coco! We have a plan! We're not staying here a second longer! Run, Coco! Run! [runs out into the ocean] Escape the Forbidden Island! [a giant wave washes him back ashore] Oh, the indignity! And the evil curse!

[Nani and David take Lilo and the group back to Kauai; Gantu and 625 are also given rides after giving away Splodyhead as payment]

Pleakley:
[put Coco into the water] You did it, Coco. You finally escaped the Forbidden Island, though not its evil curse. Not its evil curse.

David:
Ni'ihau is not forbidden because of a curse. It's forbidden because you need an invitation to visit.

Pleakley:
NO CURSE?! Of course, I knew it all the time.

Computer:
Warning. Experiment 303 activated. Primary function: erases memories.

Lilo:
Stitch... Do you remember what day it is?

Stitch:
[snores] Naga.

Lilo:
It's the best day of the year: my birthday! [shakes Stitch's bed, waking up Stitch]

Stitch:
[groans] Bata ichi!

Lilo:
[pulls Stitch's blanket away] Wake up, sleepyhead!

Stitch:
Chubata! [grabs the blanket with his toes, tripping Lilo]

Lilo:
Fine! But you'll miss the balloons, and the mariachi band, and cake... coconut cake!

[the mention of coconut cake wakes up Stitch, who excitingly chews on his pillow]

[Lilo, Stitch, and Gantu had their memories erased by Experiment 303]

Lilo:
What am I doing here? And who are you guys?

Gantu:
I'm... uh... I'm not quite sure who I am, frankly.

Lilo:
And who are you?

Stitch:
Trumba! Meega enesta chi?

Lilo:
He's even more confused than us. He's speaking a different language.

Gantu:
[chuckles] It's okay, little fella. No... [Stitch bites his finger] OW!

Lilo:
Watch out! It's a monster! [ducks under a table]

Stitch:
MEEGA NALA KWEESTA!!! [grabs a palm tree and pounds Gantu with it and then runs off to wreak havoc]

[Lilo/Martha and Gantu/Lenny go into an arcade; Lilo/Martha is playing Galaga]

Lilo/Martha:
Hey, Lenny! I won an extra ship!

[Gantu/Lenny looks around the arcade to find what looks like Stitch but is really a kid in a blue outfit]

Gantu/Lenny:
[pulls out his blaster] Stay here, Martha.

Kid:
[playing Street Fighter] You want some? Oh, yeah!

Gantu/Lenny:
[grabs the kid] I've got you know, convict!

Kid:
Help!

Lilo/Martha:
Lenny, no! He's not the convict! He's just a kid!

Gantu/Lenny:
Martha, I think I know a little more about criminals than you. [looks that he really just grabbed a kid] Oh. Sorry, kid. [puts the kid down]

[Jumba and Pleakley see that Lilo, Stitch, and Gantu have lost their memories]

Jumba:
Uh-oh! Is Experiment 303.

Pleakley:
Oh, Experiment 303. Well, now it all makes sense. [angrily turns to Jumba] You think I know all 626 of all your evil monsters by number?! What does it do for Earth's sake?!

Jumba:
Is designed to wipe out memories.

Pleakley:
You made a monster that gives people amnesia?!

Jumba:
Guess. I can see it was success.

Lilo/Martha:
Go back a second. Did you say I'm Lilo?

Jumba:
Of course.

Stitch:
Neesa amina?

Jumba:
You are 626, also called Stitch. You catch my experiments like Experiment 303, and find one true place where they belong.

Lilo/Martha:
[points to Gantu/Lenny] And he helps us?

Jumba:
Uh, no. He is evil yet incompetent experiment hunter. He is hated by pretty much everyone.

[Lilo says the password that restores their memories, which is "ohana"]

Lilo:
Stitch?

Stitch:
Lilo!

Lilo:
We're back!

Gantu:
So am I! To reclaim the abomination that was mine all along!

Lilo:
What happened to... [imitates Gantu] "I don't want my old life of evil back"?

Gantu:
I didn't know what I was missing.

[Lilo and Stitch return home after losing Amnesio to Gantu]

Lilo:
We lost our memories, we lost an experiment to Gantu, and no one remembered my birthday.

Stitch:
Oh... [gets an idea] Etaba! [climbs a palm tree and gnaws it into a giant tiki totem pole] Happy Birthday!

Lilo:
Ah, you didn't have to make me a present. I remember my ohana. That's the greatest gift of all. Even if they forget my birthday.

[Lilo and Stitch enter the house and lights go on]

Nani, David, Jumba, Pleakley, and Cobra Bubbles:
SURPRISE!

Stitch:
COCONUT CAKE! [grabs Lilo's cake and eats in 5 seconds flat, but leaves one slice for Lilo]

Lilo:
I thought you all forgot.

Nani:
Lilo, how could I ever forget your birthday? Remember what ohana means?

Lilo:
Nobody gets left behind.

Stitch, Jumba, Pleakley, David, and Cobra Bubbles:
Or forgotten.

Lilo:
Oh, yeah! I forgot that part.

[Gantu sends Amnesio to Hämsterviel]

Hämsterviel:
Still waiting... Where is it?!

Gantu:
It'll be there any second, sir.

Hämsterviel:
Any second is too slow! YOU'RE FIRED! F-I-R-E... [Amnesio finally arrives in his cell] Hello, what is this? [Amnesio zaps him in the eyes, erasing his memories] What? What was I saying? Who am I?

Gantu:
Your name is Doofus. You're a dangerous criminal wanted in twelve galaxies!

Hämsterviel:
Ooh, I am?

Gantu:
Yes. Fortunately, you were trapped and captured by me: police officer Ace Jackson!

Computer:
Warning. Experiment 383 activated.

Hämsterviel:
An experiment is waiting for you and your bumbling fish mitts don't grab it for me! [notices Gantu watching TV] GANTU!

Gantu:
[sighs] Yes, Dr. Hämsterviel, I'll get right on it, in just a minute.

Hämsterviel:
Not in just a minute! Now, you lazy squid thing! NOW!

Gantu:
But it's a marathon of Look at This!

625:
It's chowder chop's favorite show.

Hämsterviel:
Well, my favorite show is watching your fishy butt get hit by the door on your way out to CATCH MY EXPERIMENT!!!

Gantu:
[sighs] Yes, sir. [to 625] Record it for me?

625:
Well, I could do that, but I'm thinking the Sandwich Channel.

[Gantu growls in frustation as he leaves]

[Pleakley is practicing a juggling routine for Look At This!]

Pleakley:
Let's see. Maracas, bowling ball, precious family heirloom, that's good, and here we go! [begins juggling with the maracas, the bowling ball, and a priceless lamp] Yes! Yes!

[the bowling ball lands on Pleakley's foot and the maracas hit him on the head; Stitch grabs the lamp before it could break]

Stitch:
Phew!

Lilo:
Why are smashing your feet?

Pleakley:
Haven't you heard? Look At This! is coming to Kauai! I intend to demonstrate the mastery of Earth-style juggling. [moves the bowling ball off his foot]

Lilo:
Not you too! You sound just like Mertle. She thinks Look At This! is all that!

Pleakley:
Well, Mertle sounds like a small Earth female with exquisite taste! [Stitch begins playing with his maraca] Unhand my maraca, you monster! Figure out your own audition!

Lilo:
Don't worry. I'd feed myself to the sharks before I let Stitch go on that show.

Pleakley:
Just the same! The juggling routine is mine!

[Lilo has been hypnotized by Swirly to be like Mertle, who happens to love Look at This! while Stitch is also hypnotized by him to love the show]

Mertle:
Okay, first the left hip, and.... [notices Lilo, who has the same hairstyle and glasses as her] AHH! What are you doing here, Lilo?!

Lilo:
I'm not going to let you ruin our big TV debut with your boring old dance moves, Mer-Tle!

Yuki:
Huh?

Teresa:
What?

Elena:
Who are you?

Stitch:
[dashes to the TV with a pillow and popcorn] Eeka toola!

Mertle:
I thought you hated Look At This!

Lilo:
As if! You gotta love it!

[Gantu has been hypnotized by Swirly; 625 then tells him to obey the first suggestion after hypnosis]

625:
Have a peanut butter sandwich. Wait, wait, make that a peanut butter and sardine sandwich!

Gantu:
[shoves the sandwich into his mouth] Delicious!

625:
[chuckles] Now, hop on one foot and say "blah-blah-blah".

Gantu:
Blah-blah-blah! [begins hopping around the ship] Blah-blah-blah!

Hämsterviel:
What is the meaning of the silly hopping with the mouth filled with fancy-pancy nonsense?!

625:
It's cool, Doc. Check this out. Hey, twinkle-toes, dance like a ballerina and tell Dr. Hämsterviel you're a big blubberhead.

Gantu:
I'm a big blubberhead. [makes a goofy face and begins dancing like a ballerina]

Hämsterviel:
[laughs] The large fishy one has succumbed to the powers of Experiment 383! I remember him. Big fun at parties. Gantu, stick out your tongue and make raspberry-like spitting noises!

625:
And balance yourself on a rolling pin!

Hämsterviel:
While juggling your sandwich-making thing stuff!

625:
With a cake on your head!

Hämsterviel:
And a cherry on top!

[Gantu does exactly what he is told; 625 and Hämsterviel crack up laughing]

Lilo:
[after Fibber beeped at all the lies Pleakly's family had said] Hey, Fibber's been beeping. All that mean stuff your family just yelled at you must not be how they really feel.

Pleakley:
It wasn't?

Lilo:
Why else would Fibber have been beeping?

Pleakley:
So... Burdley doesn't hate me.

Burdley:
[ashamed] No. I don't hate you. I never did! I was just... jealous! I mean, look at you! You're tall, you're handsome, you're a babe magnet.

Pleakley:
[looks at Fibber] He didn't beep. It must be true. I'm a babe magnet!

Pixley:
And you're creative, too. I've felt inferior to you my whole life.

Pleakley:
But you're the CEO of a galaxy!

Pixley:
I was only trying to be better than you, and what did it get me? A high-powered career, a custom shoe closet, and bone-sheering loneliness!

David:
Your shoes have their own closet?

Pleakley's Mom:
[cries] It's all my fault! I pushed you all too hard! I just wanted my children to be happy!

Pleakley:
But Mom, I am happy.

Pleakley's Mom:
Oh, don't be ridiculous! How can you be happy?! You're not even married!

Pleakley:
I don't wanna be married, Mother. I'm happy just as I am.

Burdley:
Then... can I marry Nani?

Nani and David:
No!

Burdley:
Oh.

Pleakley:
You know, I'm even happier now that I know that you all really love me. You do, right?

Pleakley's Mom and Burdley:
Well...

Pixley:
Well, you're not perfect.

Nani:
Perfect? Try living with a sister who pours grape jelly in your socks.

Lilo:
Are a sister who hogs the bathroom for hours.

Nani:
[hugs Lilo] But no matter how much we annoy each other, we're still ohana.

Lilo:
And we love our ohana, just the way we are. [Stitch playfully jumps on the two sisters] See? The t-shirt of human civilization is made of love, not lies.

Minister:
I hate to interrupt the love fest, but who's dropping the cha-ching. [holds out the bill for his services]

[Gantu captures Fibber and returns to his ship; he tries to lie to Hämsterviel to cover up his spa vacation]

Gantu:
No, no, no. I wasn't on vacation. [Fibber beeps loudly] It was an educational conference. [Fibber beeps again]

Hämsterviel:
You lying lump of rubber! You're on probation! [disconnects; Gantu sighs and facepalms]

625:
Y'know, Fib, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

[they both drink their sodas and Fibber gives out a loud belch]

Driver:
I tell you, bra, I'm giving you the kind deal. They don't 'em like this no more.

Man:
Hmm. You sure the body's in ok shape?

Driver:
You kiddin'? All-metal body, chrome trim. No plastic junk like today.

[As the driver washes his car, Experiment 586's pod gets wet and activated]

Woman:
'Cause you know, we got a rust problem in Hawaii. This island air eats cars like nothing else in the universe. [Experiment 586 starts eating the car, leaving only the rubber tires] Except maybe him.

[Experiment 586 grows a little bigger, roars, and runs away, laughing]

Man:
Sorry, bra. Deal's off.

625:
Hey, Gantu, ever thought about growing a goatee?

Gantu:
No!

625:
I'm serious. Because with your bone structure, it would look very spiffy.

Gantu:
Really?

625:
Sure. May I? [grabs a pencil and draws a mustache and goatee on Gantu's face] There. See? [holds up a mirror]

Gantu:
Not funny!

625:
What? I think it looks nice. Helps disguise a few of those chins! [laughs]

Computer:
Warning. Experiment 586 activated.

Gantu:
"Primary function: metal consumption. Experiment grows exponentially larger with everything it eats."

[Mertle and the girls are calling for a radio contest to win tickets to an Elizabethan festival]

Mertle:
Come on, come on!

Host:
Congratulations, Caller 12!

Mertle:
What?! Already!

Lilo:
I won?!

[the girls turn to see that Lilo was the lucky caller via payphone]

Host:
Yes! You and a group of your closest friends and adult guardians are going to the Elizabethan festival!

Mertle:
I don't believe it!

Lilo:
I won the contest for you. Now we can all go to the festival.

Mertle:
Nu-uh! We have somewhere better to be. Right, girls?

Yuki:
Well... not really.

Teresa:
According to their homepage, the festival is way cool!

Elena:
Plus, we're sick of playing dolls!

Lilo:
Really?

Mertle:
Fine, if you wanna go with the freak, then go! I'm staying here!

[pause]

Yuki, Teresa, and Elena:
Okay! [they leave with Lilo and Stitch]

[Pleakley is getting his costume ready for the festival]

Pleakley:
I'm so excited! My first festival dedicated to primitive Earth history! Are you dressed yet?

Jumba:
[dressed as King Henry VIII] Dressed, yes. Happy, no!

Pleakley:
Cheer up. Henry VIII was a powerful ruler, even though he had a nasty habit of having his wives beheaded!

Jumba:
I am liking this Henry person! [laughs]

[Stitch, angered that he's not allowed to go to the festival, sees Mertle and pounces on her]

Mertle:
What's the matter? Upset that your friend dumped you?

Stitch:
[releases Mertle] Amagata!

Mertle:
Face it. You know she'd trade up someday.

Stitch:
Kachuga naga!

[Since Lilo is too busy with the girls, Stitch reluctantly takes Mertle to find Experiment 586, who has grown huge due to all the metal it has eaten]

Mertle:
We're not here because of that thing, are we?

Stitch:
Ih!

Mertle:
I don't like this anymore. Take me home!

[Stitch leaps out of the buggy]

Mertle:
Hey, come back!

[Stitch throws a mailbox into 586's face, but it does not hurt it]

Stitch:
Kachumba!

[586 kicks Stitch to the hood of the buggy]

Mertle:
I'm never gonna get home with you in charge!

[Tank rampages through the festival, with Gantu's ship in hot pursuit]

Yuki:
Where should we hide?!

Elena:
I say we hide in the blacksmith's!

Teresa:
No, the dueling buckets booth!

Lilo:
We don't hide. That ship is trying to catch the experiment, but we have to beat him to it!

Yuki:
But why?

Lilo:
'Cause we're the good guys, and the good guys don't chicken out just 'cause the bad guy has a gigantic spaceship with advanced alien technology.

Elena:
Mertle was right: You really are weird.

Yuki and Teresa:
YYEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!

[Gantu holds Stitch and Mertle hostage after accidentally capturing them]

625:
I swear something's different about you. No shoes? Wait, I got it! Perm and red highlights!

Mertle:
Hey, that was pretty funny what you did that tubby guy. You know, the face.

625:
Really? You think so?

Mertle:
Oh, yeah! I know how be mean to people. What you did, it was special.

625:
I'm glad you said that, 'cause I was afraid I wasn't pushing the envelope. Y'know? Thinking outside the box.

Mertle:
I hear ya.

625:
Hey, I got a prank I'm working on right now. You wanna take a look? I mean, if you got time.

Mertle:
I got nothing but time!

625:
[chuckles] Oh, right. It's in the other room. [presses a button, releasing Mertle] I call it "Ants in Gantu's Pants". That's figurative, by the way...

[Mertle grabs 625 and traps him in her own containment chamber]

Mertle:
That was so easy, it was sad. [releases Stitch] Come on. Let's get outta here.

[Lilo apologizes to Stitch for not treating him right and Stitch forgives her; Mertle watches the whole thing from a pole]

Elena:
Mertle?

Mertle:
[slides down] My friends! You've come back!

Elena:
Here's the thing: we tried going with Lilo, and didn't exactly work out. So...

Teresa:
We were thinking of going back to you, but only if we do something besides play dolls all the time.

Mertle:
Oh, really? And what makes you think I would even take you back? I had a lot of fun without you. I chased a monster, then I got sucked into a gigantic spaceship, then...

Yuki:
Maybe this was a bad idea.

Teresa:
Yeah! Being alone has made her weird.

Mertle:
Uh, just kidding! So, let's just be friends again. [the three girls continue glaring at Mertle; defeated] And play less dolls.

[Lilo finds an experiment pod on the floor in the post office while dropping off a letter to her pen-pal]

Lilo:
Look what I found. It was right there on the floor. It must have been in somebody's mail. Experiment 509.

Jumba:
Hmmm... 509. Agricultural experiment.

Lilo:
It's a plant?

Jumba:
Experiment. Designs to be violent and indestructible. Looks like harmless plant one moment, but suddenly rises up like savage beast and attacks!

Lilo:
Let's activate it, so we can find its one true place.

Jumba:
[snatches the pod from Lilo] No, no, no! Too risky.

Lilo:
But we could make friends with it, and then it won't attack.

Jumba:
You're wanting to make friends with a plant? [laughs] Oh, is very compassionate, also silly! [puts the pod in a drawer and locks it] No. Impossible to activate without causing extreme destruction. Of course, is fun for me, but for planet's sake, I'm putting away, permanently.

Lilo:
But--

Jumba:
End of discussion! Not looking so sad. Hundreds of experiments left on the loose, wreaking havoc on island. Make friends with those.

[Mertle challenges Lilo to compete against her in the orchid growing contest in the Kokaua Town Fair while Stitch trains himself to enter the rodeo; Pleakley is using a jackhammer to sew seeds into his garden]

Lilo:
Pleakley, can you help me grow an orchid for the town fair?

Pleakley:
Town fair? What town fair?

Lilo:
Kokaua Town Fair. They have rides and food and competitions for stuff like flowers.

Pleakley:
What about pineapples?

Lilo:
There's a homegrown fruits and vegetables competition.

Pleakley:
Homegrown fruits?! I could enter... my Pinormous! [gestures to his gigantic pineapple plant] Pinarmous will revolutionize Hawaii's pineapple industry. And then... IT WILL REVOLUTIONIZE THE WORLD!!!

Jumba:
[chuckles] You are starting to sound like evil genius.

Pleakley:
Maybe, but... I'm be an evil genius for good!

Jumba:
Always it starts that way. Here is evil genius fertilizer you are requesting.

Lilo:
What about my orchid?!

Pleakley:
Sorry, Lilo. I can't waste my precious time on something as renowned as an orchid. My Pinormous needs me, and the world needs my Pinormous! [notices some bamboo shoots growing] AAH!! My personal Eden is being invaded by bamboo runners!

Lilo:
Runners?

Pleakley:
Underground roots spreading their grasping, choking evil from the mother plant. Couldn't you ever plant this to contain the roots so it won't keep spreading? So inconsiderate!

[Lilo goes to the rental hut to ask Nani to help her grow an orchid]

Nani:
I'm sorry, Lilo, but I don't have time to help you with the fair. I'm working.

Lilo:
But I want to enter something.

Diver:
Uh, miss? Do you have another mask? This one doesn't fit quite right.

Nani:
Oh, yes, sir. [gives the diver another mask] Here you go. [to Lilo] If you'd told me weeks ago...

Lilo:
BUT I ONLY JUST FOUND OUT TODAY!!

Nani:
Lilo! I have a customer.

Diver:
Uh, miss? This mask doesn't fit right either.

Nani:
Uh, okay. [gives the diver another mask] Here. Try this one.

[as the two sisters talk, Stitch, still practicing to be a cowboy, wheres flippers as boots and twirls two snorkels as if they were guns]

Lilo:
But I gotta enter something! Mertle's entering orchids, Pleakley's entering a huge evil pineapple, Stitch is going to be a cowboy at the rodeo.

Nani:
[to Stitch] Cowboys where boots, not flippers. [to Lilo] Look, it takes a long time to grow an orchid. Maybe you could enter next year.

Diver:
Oh, uh, miss? I'm sorry, but this one...

Lilo:
THE MASK DOESN'T FIT BECAUSE YOUR HEAD IS SHAPED WEIRD!!!! [storms out the hut]

Stitch:
Bachuga! [follows Lilo]

Nani:
[chuckles nervously] Kids.

[Lilo and Stitch go to the fair carrying Sprout on a wagon]

Zack Makeli:
Howdy, stranger. [Stitch glares at him angrily] I hear you're the only bullrider in this here competition. [Stitch nods] You see this? I got five of'em. One for each time I won the rodeo. And I don't expect to lose the sixth time... to a stranger.

Stitch:
Ihkata....

Lilo:
Help me get Sprout in place, then you can kick that cowboy's rear in the rodeo.

Stitch:
[reluctantly] Bachoo.

Zack Makeli:
[laughs] Hey, son! A real cowboy don't get told what to do by a little girl!

[Stitch grumbles angrily as he takes Sprout to the orchid competition]

[Lilo and Stitch retreats to the old water tower after Sprout lands on the ground and grows into a giant plant monster]

Lilo:
All my fault. Jumba locked the experiment in the drawer because he knew it was dangerous, and I took it anyways just so I could beat Mertle. I messed up everything.

Stitch:
Ih.

Lilo:
You could at least pretend that I didn't mess up so bad, just to make me feel better.

Stitch:
I cannot.

Lilo:
Ugh! Fine!

[Nani watches the news]

Reporter:
We're here at the Kokaua Town Fair, where apparently, a giant orchid has burst out of its potted plant, causing pandemonium.

Nani:
[shocked and angry] JUMBA!!

Jumba:
What?! What is emergency?!

Nani:
What do you know about that?! [points to the TV]

Reporter:
I've never seen anything like this! It's as if alien plants have taken over the fair! James, are you getting this?! Oh, no! [screams]

Jumba:
Is 509... but looks much heavier on television. Little girl has been breaking big rules!

[Stitch manages to pull Sprout from the ground and puts him in the water tower, where he's now in his one true place]

Lilo:
I don't know if it's his one true place, but that's the only place I think Sprout could go.

Stitch:
Oh, ih.

Orchid Judge 1:
Would you look at that?!

Orchid Judge 2:
Wasn't that one of the entries in the orchid category.

Orchid Judge 3:
Why, yes! Yes, it was! I think we've found our blue ribbon! [hands the blue ribbon to Lilo] Here you go, dear.

Zack Makeli:
Y'know, if hadn't been for that overgrown dandelion, you'd have beat in the rodeo.

Stitch:
Oh!

Zack Makeli:
No, no, sir. You would've. I gotta admit it, 'cause a real cowboy either wins fair and square, or he loses fair and square, partner. [hands Stitch the rodeo belt]

Stitch:
Oh, chochamba.

Lilo:
[remembers the fact that she cheated and gives the ribbon to Mertle] Here.

Mertle:
Is this a trick?

Lilo:
No. You won it fair and square, and I didn't. My Pully Cove is yours for a whole week.

Mertle:
Really?!

Lilo:
Yeah.

Mertle:
Hey! We can go to my Pully Cove without the weirdo for a whole week! [she and the girls cheer and leave]

Lilo:
A real cowboy knows how to lose, fair and square.

Nani:
Lilo! Oh, Lilo, are you okay?

Lilo:
I'm okay. Am I grounded?

Nani:
What do you think?

Lilo:
I guess a month would be fair.

Nani:
How about a week?

Pleakley:
[shocked and upset that his pineapple was destroyed by Sprout] My beautiful Pinormous! Innocence! Lost!

Nani:
If we start planting for next year, I bet we could grow orchids that would kick Mertle's orcids' butt!

Lilo:
Wow! I didn't even know orchids have butts.

Stitch:
Oh! Yippee-Ki-Yay!

[Stitch waits for Lilo outside her hula class]

Moses:
Last rehearsal is tomorrow morning. Everybody practice tonight.

Mertle:
I don't need to practice. My hula story is already perfect. I call it "A Day in the Life of Mertle Edmonds." I thought it would be nice to share what it's like to be me. What's yours about this year, Weirdlo? Zombies again? [she and the other girls laugh; Stitch growls angrily at Mertle, but Lilo calms him down]

Lilo:
Not zombies, mummies! Big difference. But no, I have created an all new hula dance.

Mertle:
Let me guess: It's about something gross?

Lilo:
It's about a squid!

Mertle:
Mmm-hmm. Gross! We'll be sure to miss it.

Yuki, Teresa and Elena:
YYEEEEEAAAAAAHH!!

[as the hula girls laugh; Lilo and Stitch storm back home]

Lilo:
I'm gonna practice, alright. Until I'm better than perfect.

Stitch:
Yeah! Ih!

[625 is making sandwiches while using pages of newspaper as sandwich wrappers]

625:
Aloha Oe... Salami and rye... [humming]

Gantu:
625, have you seen the entertainment section?

625:
Uh... no?

Gantu:
[grabs the entertainment section] How many times have I told you not to use the papers as sandwich wrappers?! [looks at the Great Elastico ad] Hey... That looks like... An experiment!

625:
Yeah, it's the clownish experiment how delights everyone with his comic antics.

Gantu:
How would you know?!

625:
Duh! You're computer announced that experiment's activation like 2 weeks ago. "Primary function: Distraction of hostile forces." Alright?

Gantu:
You couldn't jot down a message?! Well, I guess I'm going to the circus!

625:
Great. Have some cotton candy for me, would ya? Oh, listen, can I have my wrapper back?

[after Lilo scolds Stitch for distracting her during practice, Stitch sneaks into the circus to get a closer look at his cousin Elastico; the ringmaster admires Stitch's agility and indestructibility while trying to capture Elastico and pulls Stitch into the center ring]

Ringmaster:
Ladies and gentlemen, let us hear it for our surprise circus guest: the Marvelous, the Magnificent, ehh....

Stitch:
Uh, Stitch?

Ringmaster:
Oh, no, no, no! This will never do! You need a name which more accurately reflects your indestructible resplendency. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Incredible Indestructerado!

Stitch:
Wow! [takes a bow]

[after Gantu captures Elastico, the circus ringmaster decides to use Stitch as his replacement]

Ringmaster:
Amigos, I like to present to you our newest sensation: The Incredible Indestructerado!

Stitch:
H-h-hiiiii.

Tiger Tamer:
He is no Elastico!

[a tiger roars at Stitch, but Stitch frightens it with a louder roar]

Wolfman:
He looks so weird.

Russian Contortionist:
Da, Wolfman! He is very odd-looking creature. He fits right in, no?

[Gus the Clown honks his horn a few times]

Acrobat:
That's Gus talk for "Welcome to our family, Indestructerado."

[Stitch smiles happily]

[Gantu thinks he has transported Elastico to Hämsterviel, but Elastico escaped the transporter without him knowing]

Hämsterviel:
Gantu! Sleeping on the job?

Gantu:
No, sir!

Hämsterviel:
You think you're so funny with your pranky little pranks!

Gantu:
Uh, pranks, sir?

Hämsterviel:
[lifts up an empty shackle] Sending me nothing but shackles?! WHERE IS MY EXPERIMENT?!?

[Gantu is shocked and embarrassed]

[Stitch gets ready for the grand finale before he leaves Kauai until Lilo comes in backstage]

Lilo:
Stitch? Is that you?

Stitch:
Lilo? [suddenly remembers how she treated him and pouts]

Lilo:
I know you're mad at me, 'cause I was too busy with my show to pay attention to you. You aren't really going to Vegas, are you? You'll never see your ohana again.

Stitch:
Circus means family, and family means Stitch does not get left behind!

Lilo:
I never meant to leave you behind.

[Lilo and Stitch has defeated Gantu with help from Elastico and the circus group]

Stitch:
[picks up Lilo's broken seashell necklace] Uh, isa brokuba.

Lilo:
It's okay. I can always make another one.

Stitch:
Yeah? I should never have ignored you because of my dumb old hula dance. Being there for you and helping you find your cousins is so much more important.

Ringmaster:
Well, Indestructerado, we must leave for Las Vegas. It is time to say your goodbyes.

Stitch:
Ah, oh, um...

Ringmaster:
Unless you have reconsidered joining our family.

Stitch:
But... contract.

Ringmaster:
Ah, yes. You signed the contract. [produces the contract from his hand] This contract was written in the name of Indestructerado, but you signed the name... Stitch. Oh, this contract is numb and void! [the contract disappears] Que payna! Go, be with your real family. [he and Elastico hug Stitch]

Stitch:
Goodbye. [he and Lilo leaves]

Wolfman:
We'll never forget you, Indestructerado.

[Lilo gives her presentation on her idea to improve the hula school; Stitch pantomimes while she does this]

Lilo:
Ahem. Aliens are not folktales. They are real! And they can be deadly. Aliens are very sneaky. They can be 20 feet tall and look like a whale. [Stitch bends his ears to look like Gantu] Or they can disguise themselves as your very own uncle. [Stitch imitates Jumba's laugh] Or your very own aunt. [Stitch waves his arms wildly like Pleakley] They shoot laser beams and they can even rampage through a city. [Stitch rampages through a city made of fruit] Destroying everything in sight. They can strike anywhere at anytime. Including.... HERE!!

Stitch:
Dum-dum-DAAAA!!!!

Teresa:
Is she serious?

Yuki:
Aliens?

Mertle:
That dog is so ugly!

Moses:
Lilo...

Lilo:
The Kia Luhale is a happy place. [Stitch holds up Scrump] But only because we are blissfully ignorant of the alien scourge that threatens to enslave all of humanity. [Stitch throws Scrump on the ground and chews on her] Ending us to its twisting will, and making us eat limes!

Moses:
Lilo! What is your idea to improve Kia Luhale?

Lilo:
I think we need to install an alien invasion alarm, for the good of all humankind.

Stitch:
Bark!

Lilo:
Oh, and any friendly aliens who may or may not be living here disguised as my dog. [she and Stitch take a bow]

[Stitch was knocked into a big bookshelf after being hit by 613's sonic blasts]

Lilo:
Let's go, Stitch! They're getting away! [Stitch is deaf from the blast and can't hear Lilo] What's wrong, Stitch?

Stitch:
Jaba?

Lilo:
[loudly] CAN YOU HEAR ME?!

Stitch:
Naga. Naga sonika.

Lilo:
His hearing's broken!

[Jumba inspects Stitch's ears]

Jumba:
This is work of Experiment 613. Was first attempt to wreak havoc with high-decibel sonic disturbance, resonate compression, and osculating vibrational distortion. Simple to say, he makes loud noises.

Lilo:
Gotcha.

Jumba:
Sonic blast can shatter windows, flatten buildings, and cause acute loss of hearing.

Stitch:
Gaba?

Jumba:
Acute loss of hearing!

Stitch:
Gaba?

Jumba:
[puts a conch shell in Stitch's ear] ACUTE LOSS OF HEARING!!

Stitch:
Ah! Odhigi noeeba!

Lilo:
Jumba, there's nothing cute about hearing loss.

Jumba:
Is correct. Fortunately, in 626's case, is only temporary.

Lilo:
Good! We can catch 613 and still be home in time to write that letter to the mayor before dinner. Come on, Stitch.

Jumba:
No, no, no! 626's super hearing makes him super sensitive to super sonic attack. He cannot be going.

Lilo:
Can't you make him something like those earmuffs Gantu was wearing?

Jumba:
Of course! Can have ready by next Tuesday.

Lilo:
Tuesday?!

Jumba:
Monday is federal holiday.

[Pleakley is sent to capture Yaarp with a vacuum since he has no ears]

Pleakley:
Trigger to fire. Backup for safety. [a flash of light startles him] WHOOOAAAAH!!! [blindly sucks up a couple's clothes]

Charles:
Can we please have our clothes back?

Mary:
We're on our honeymoon.

Pleakley:
Oh. Congratulations! [shoots the clothes back to the couple]

[Gantu captures Stitch and agrees to set him free in exchange for Yaarp; Lilo meets Gantu in the natural history museum]

Gantu:
Earth girl.

Lilo:
Big dummy. [opens up the cage, releasing Yaarp]

Gantu:
[puts on his earmuffs] Foolish Earth forms! Why haven't you soundproofed him?!

Lilo:
Because we're plotting to rescue Stitch.

Gantu:
Say again?

Lilo:
'CAUSE WE'VE TRAINED HIM TO OBEY HIS MASTER!

Gantu:
Ah, well, I suppose that will save Hämsterviel the trouble. Now hand him over.

Lilo:
Hold it! Where's Stitch?

[Gantu pulls Stitch from his armpit]

Stitch:
[coughs] Spubata! Ranka patookie!

Lilo:
Okay...

[Yaarp comes to Gantu; Gantu kicks Stitch toward Lilo]

Gantu:
See how easy this can be? Aloyha, losers!

[Lilo winks to Stitch and whistles; Yaarp lets out a large sonic blast, startling Gantu]

[thanks to Yaarp's sonic blast, the museum's security surround Gantu, but Gantu escapes]

Mayor:
Did you get a good look at him Nicolé?

Nicolé:
Yes, sir. He looked like... a whale, sir. I'm afraid he got away.

Mayor:
Huh. My city is being bullied by a rampaging whale?

Lilo:
Excuse me. Did you say your city?

Mayor:
Yes, I did. Mayor Anolo. Who are you?

Nicolé:
She's the one that tripped the alarm.

Lilo:
My name's Lilo, and I didn't trip the alarm. It was my pet large-horned wild pig.

Mayor:
Your pig tripped the alarm.

Lilo:
No! He is the alarm.

Mayor:
That's a pretty big voice for such a little fella.

[Yaarp lets out a happy honk]

Mayor:
Well, thanks for your help, Lilo.

[Stitch uncrumples Lilo's letter to the Mayor and gives to her]

Stitch:
Small person, big voice.

Lilo:
Mr. Mayor!

Mayor:
Yes?

Lilo:
I thought you should know that the "whale" isn't really a whale.

Mayor:
It's not?

Lilo:
Nope. Actually, he's a space alien.

Mayor:
Well, thank goodness. I'd have a hard time explaining a rampaging whale to the city counsel.

Lilo:
It's occurred to me that some of the city's most important buildings might benefit from having alien invasion alarms installed.

Mayor:
[laughs] An alien invasion alarm system? Well, that's the most ridi--

Mary:
Are you the mayor of this city?

Mayor:
That's right. What can I do for you?

Mary:
We just wanted you to know that you ruined our honeymoon!

Charles:
Your city is crawling with weird creatures! [shows the mayor pictures of Yaarp, Gantu, and Pleakley]

Mary:
We're leaving for the mainland immediately, and we are never coming back! Good day!

Lilo:
In the interest of continued tourism, you might like to read this. [hands the mayor her letter]

[Stitch has captured and reformed 515 (a.k.a. Deforestator) in less than 2 minutes, making him and Lilo overly proud of himself]

Lilo:
Give it up for the greatest, the bestest, the baddest, the King of Kokaua Town: Stitch! [takes a picture of a sunglasses-clad Stitch]

Pleakley:
Finally! I was getting worried!

Lilo:
You should never worry. Not when I have Stitch with me to kick butt!

Pleakley:
Lilo! Such language was outlawed by the Balorian Universal Talking Treaty and your big sister, who had to work late. Now, will you assist me setting out the Thanksgiving dinner?

Lilo:
Thanksgiving? Again?

Pleakley:
It is once a month, right?

Lilo:
Is there pumpkin pie?

Pleakley:
Of course!

Lilo:
Yep. Once a month. Help set the table, Stitch?

[Stitch pushes an easy chair to the table]

Lilo:
Okay. You did earn your keep pretty good today.

[Jumba enraged at how Stitch has acted bossy during dinner, creates a new experiment and activates it in front of Pleakley]

Jumba:
Allow me to be introducing Experiment 627!

627:
EVIL!!!

Jumba:
Has all strengths of 626, none of weaknesses. Does not sink in water, available in tasteful Earth-tone colors, and absolutely, positively, cannot be turned to good.

627:
Evil, evil, evil!

Pleakley:
Why would you make such an awful, snarling, clawing, growling little monster who can only say...

627:
Evil!

Jumba:
Ah, 626 needed a reality check. Besides, have plans lying around. You know, evil genius, use it or lose it.

Pleakley:
This is completely against galactic regulations, and all good said, I'm going to--

Jumba:
[grabs Pleakley] I have other old plans. Like maybe for experiment with giant finger for poking someone's giant eye!

Pleakley:
Well, maybe the others don't need to know just yet. As long as it doesn't do anything...

627:
Evil!

[625 comes across 627 and brings him to Gantu]

625:
So just as I was talking about what a doorknob you are, this experiment fell into my lap. Sure was easy to catch him! Anyway, I just he'd be a good sidekick for you to chase experiments with, then both you knuckleheads can get creamed by the little girl and 626. Meanwhile, I can stay home and do what I do best.

[625 lays down on the couch until 627 blasts him with a laser beam]

625:
Nothing...

Gantu:
You've got something I need: power! This could be the start of a beautiful relationship. [chuckles evilly]

[Stitch has been defeated by 627]

Lilo:
It was incredible! Like nothing we've seen! It was even tougher than Stitch!

Stitch:
Aketaba!

Jumba:
So, 626 thinks severe pounding was one-time-only fluke, eh? [chuckles]

Lilo:
Well, I don't. And which over experiment it is, we got to figure out how beat it.

Pleakley:
I see you're searching Jumba's database of old experiments. I wonder if he has a file of more recent experiments, made as recently as, say, yesterday!

Jumba:
You mean like experiment made to poke people in eyeball?!

Stitch:
Huh?

[Lilo, Stitch, and Pleakley stare at Jumba suspiciously]

Jumba:
If creature you are looking for is as amazing as you say should be studied for science. [Pleakley points to Jumba while holding a screwdriver] Preserved in museum and... [notices Pleakley] Is one-eyed bigmouth trying to tell you something?

Lilo:
Something about you having a screw loose.

Jumba:
[grabs Pleakley] Ah, my silly friend! He is one with screw loose if he thinks I will let him tell you that I built 627! [stops as he realized what he just said; Lilo and Stitch gasp] Oh, I am very busted now!

Lilo:
627?! You... made... A 627?!?

Pleakley:
Ha! Who's afraid of the finger now, big boy?! WHO'S AFRAID NOW?!

Jumba:
I-I-I confess! I confess. But now you see scientific achievement! You know that 627 is even better than 626.

[625 calls Lilo after finding out 627's weakness]

Lilo:
Hello?

625:
Listen, it's me: Gantu's... ex-sidekick guy.

Lilo:
Sandwich boy?! Why are you calling?

625:
Because I can help you beat Experiment 627.

Lilo:
It's a trick, right? Why would you wanna go against Gantu?

625:
Trust me. [627 kicks him] Ow! I have my reasons! That hurt!

Lilo:
Uh-huh. Really... Okay, you got a deal!

[after Stitch defeated 627 through laughter, he serves the next Thanksgiving dinner]

Lilo:
I'm proud of you, Stitch, for being self-cool and humble.

Stitch:
Oh.

Pleakley:
And I hope Jumba has learned his lesson about making those silly evil genius experiments. We oughta to make him do the dishes!

Lilo:
Yeah! Hey, where is Jumba?

[scene changes to Jumba in his ship, putting 627's pod back in his safe]

Jumba:
So much for Experiment 627. Perhaps I'll have better luck next time.

[places a pod marked 628 in his safe]

[Lilo, Stitch and the hula girls are visiting the planetarium]'

All Girls:
WOW!

Elena:
We're up so high, I bet we're in space already.

Lilo:
This is almost as cool as the real outer space.

Teresa:
Stop saying you've been to outer space, Lilo.

Mertle:
Real astronauts have spacesuits. You don't got a spacesuit.

Yuki, Teresa, and Elena:
YYEEEEEAAAAAHHH!!

Mertle:
The only place you've been is Planet Weirdo!

Lilo:
But it's true! Me and Stitch-- [realizes Stitch is gone] Stitch? [Stitch is swinging on a planet model] Stitch!

[Lilo and Stitch learn from eavesdropping on Cobra Bubbles that an asteroid is going to smash into Earth; Lilo sends flyers to everyone to evacuate via Jumba's ship while Stitch informs his cousins; unfortunately, none of humans believe them and don't come]

Lilo:
They're probably all just having trouble parking.

Stitch:
Ih! Hamcha!

Lilo:
[looks up in the night sky] I hope our new planet has this many stars, and I hope it has a beach with perfect waves, and friends, and shave ice, and fish that eat peanut butter sandwiches. [sighs] Sure would be better if we could just stay home. They're not coming, are they.

Stitch:
Naga.

Lilo:
Well, at least your cousins showed. How many are in there?

Stitch:
[counts the experiments on the ship] Kicha!

Lilo:
Only six? No one believes us.

[Stitch gets an idea to get Digger and Richter to go on the asteroid and destroy it, saving Earth]

Jumba:
Crazy idea.

Lilo:
So crazy that it might actually work, right?

Jumba:
No. Just crazy.

Nani:
Lilo, what's going on here?

Lilo:
I told you. There's an asteroid heading towards Earth. We were going to evacuate everyone, but I think we'll go on a secret mission to destroy the asteroid instead.

Nani:
Lilo, there hasn't been anything on the news about this. Anyone who'd believe you would have to be completely lolo!

Surfer:
Yo, dudes! Hey, sorry I'm late. Just stopped for a pepperoni slice. [walks into Jumba's ship]

Lilo:
See? It's true! Ask Cobra Bubbles. He knows!

Nani:
Okay! I'll call him. Nobody makes one single move until I get back! [leaves]

Lilo:
Let's go.

[Lilo, Stitch, and Jumba run into the ship]

[as Jumba's ship heads towards the asteroid, Stitch's cousins begin to cause havoc; Sparky zaps Hammerface in the rear end, Digger digs into his seat, Kixx kicks the back of Spooky's seat, and Spooky retaliates by frightening him with a scary face]

Lilo:
They seem a little restless.

Surfer:
You said there'd be peanuts!

Lilo:
They need peanuts, and sodas, and swizzle sticks.

Pleakley:
Uh-uh! I'm not going anywhere near those little monsters! You go!

Lilo:
But I'm too little to fit into the stewardess outfit.

[scene changes to Pleakley in the stewardess outfit pushing a cart of consessions]

Pleakley:
Soda! Peanuts! [Kixx reaches his hand to grab a soda, but Pleakley slaps him] Don't be grabby! There's enough for everyone!

[Kixx, impatient, spins wildy, knocking Pleakley out, and he grabs a bag of peanuts]

[Lilo learns that the asteroid is home to a small crabby alien]

Lilo:
We can't blow up this asteroid!

Jumba:
Excusing me?! But is your idea!

Lilo:
This is that crabby guy's home, and he loves it. Just like we love the Earth. We can't destroy it.

Jumba:
Can't destroy Earth, can't destroy asteroid... Wait... HA! I am more genius! I am having a theory. If Jumba designed hyperdrive to move ship millions of miles to Kweltiquan, it can perhaps move asteroid off course with Earth.

Lilo:
You mean, we can save Earth and the asteroid? [Jumba winks at her] Way to go, Jumba! You're hardly evil at all!

Pleakley:
But... if we put the hyperdrive on the asteroid, we won't be able to cross the vast distances involved in interstellar travel. You and I might never be able to return to our home planets!

Jumba:
We have home planet, with little girl, and bigger girl, on Earth.

Pleakley:
Okay, you got me... you big jerk!

[after the gang succeed in moving the asteroid off course by inserting the hyperdrive in it, they return home]

Cobra Bubbles:
I speak not only for myself, but for everyone on Earth when I say thank you for saving our collective posterior.

Lilo:
So... Where's the plaque? The commendation from the president? The key to the Earth?

Cobra Bubbles:
The government prefers to take the stance that the threat of annihilation never actually existed. But I did manage to swing this. [hands Lilo a document]

Lilo:
"This document officially states that Lilo and Stitch are honorary agents in the Earth Defense Agency, Under 12 and Illegal Experiment division." Cool! I bet not even Elvis got one of these.

[Lilo and Stitch sneak into the attic to find where Nani hid there Christmas presents]

Lilo:
Every year, Nani hides our Christmas presents. It's my job as a little sister to find them. It's another Hawaiian Christmas tradition. [Lilo opens a chest to find the presents] She's so predictable. This is where she hid them last year.

Stitch:
[reaches and grabs a present from the chest] Oooh. Present.

Lilo:
No! [takes the present] You can't open it! You never a open presents before Christmas! That's the rule. But... you can shake them to figure out what they are. [shakes the present] Maybe it's the shrunken head I keep asking for. I tried making my own, but Mertle wouldn't hold still.

Stitch:
[grabs the whole stack of presents] Abataka!

Lilo:
No! You can't have all those!

Stitch:
No, no, no!

Lilo:
Christmas isn't just about getting presents! [Stitch puts the presents back] It's okay to like the presents. Just don't act like you like them. That's what I do.

[they suddenly hear Jumba and Pleakley singing Jingle Bells off-key]

Lilo:
Sounds like something's attacking Jumba and Pleakley.

[she suddenly notices Stitch hiding a present in his mouth; Lilo glares at him, and he spits it out and puts it back in the chest]

[625 is putting up decorations in Gantu's ship]

625:
On the first day of Christmas, I just made for me.... a saaaaaaaaaandwich [Gantu gets caught in a decoration] Hey, flounder face! We've you been? Grab a holiday hoagie and enjoy the party!

Gantu:
You can waste your time with this ridiculous Earth custom if you want, but for once, I have the upper hand. Hämsterviel's been on the rampage lately, but this should please him. [pulls out an experiment pod] I've obtained a dormant experiment pod.

625:
Now just ho-ho-hold on a minute there, tuna toes! You're not just gonna transport the pod to Hämsterviel, are ya? It's Christmas! Everybody's giving each other gifts.

Gantu:
Perhaps you're right. If I wrap this up in holiday paper with a bow, it might get the little gerbil off my dorsal fin.

625:
Sure! Everyone likes getting presents, even megalomaniacal rodents with delusions of galactic domination.

Gantu:
Hmm.... I should get this wrapped. [leaves to get wrapping supplies]

625:
Oh, hey, hey! If you wanna blend in out there, you better where a red suit and hat! Everyone's wearing 'em!

[Stitch has seen the experiment pod 025 being wrapped in a present and mailed into a truck; Stitch goes from door to door taking gifts to see which one of them contains the pod]

Jumba:
Open up, you greedy little genetic mistake!

Lilo:
What's going on?

Jumba:
Ah, little girl. 626 has many gifts that he is keeping to himself.

Lilo:
Stitch! What are we gonna do with you? You've torn up half the town, stolen presents, made little kids cry. It's like your the spirit of Christmas ruin.

Jumba:
[pulls out his plasma gun] I will teach him to share brightly wrapped goodies with evil genius WHO CREATED HIM!!!

Lilo:
Don't! There's something wrong with Stitch. He needs our help. I know a secret way in.

[Lilo and Jumba go through the secret entrance to the attic just as Stitch peaks through the main entrance; Jumba grabs Stitch and an unseen fight occurs]

Jumba:
Yeah! Got you!

Lilo:
Jumba, look out!

[Jumba falls through the main entrance]

Lilo:
Are you okay?

Jumba:
Ah, I'm okay! I landed on my patookie!

[after Lilo and Jumba learns Stitch's true intention for taking the presents, Gantu comes in, disguised as Santa Clause, and tears through the house while giving no attention to Pleakley, who is trying to be a Christmas tree]

Jumba:
[repairing the house] Hey, what is wrong? Why the long branches?

Pleakley:
I'm doing my best to represent a coniferous evergreen indicative of the holiday season, but no one seems to care!

Jumba:
Heh. Maybe you need festive parcels.

Pleakley:
What?

Jumba:
Presents for to have underneath you.

Pleakley:
Of course! Presents under the Christmas tree! I've been going about this backwards! Christmas isn't about the tree, it's about the presents under it!

Jumba:
626 and little girl are stalking Gantu. They will bring presents.

Pleakley:
No, no, no! I have to get my own! Otherwise, it doesn't really count! Jumba, it's time we took a little trip, to the mall!

Gantu:
[gets ready to stomp on Lilo] I should have done this a long time ago!

Lilo:
Go ahead! You've already ruined Christmas for everyone!

Gantu:
I ruined Christmas?! You're the one who took the present I was planning to give to Hämsterviel!

Lilo:
You were going to give Hämsterviel a gift?

Gantu:
Well, yes. Isn't that what your Christmas holiday is all about? Giving presents.

Lilo:
Actually, you're right.

Stitch:
Ichalagu?

Lilo:
It's not about getting presents. It's about giving.

Little Girl:
Santa? Do I get a present?

Gantu:
You?! A proto Earth form? Don't be ridiculous! Why would I-- [the girl gives him a sad look] No! That's not fair! Stop looking at me like that! Seize using your ocular orbs against sympathy! [sighs] This is an infectious holiday you have on this planet. Perhaps this is a present we could all enjoy. I can always find something else to send to Hämsterviel. [gives the present to the little girl]

[Lilo activates 025, now named Topper and places it on top of a Christmas tree as its one true place; not too far from Earth, some aliens notice Topper's flashing]

Alien 1:
Hey, who turned on the signal beacon?

Alien 2:
Who cares? They got fruitcake down there! Come on, guys!

[the aliens cheer as they come towards Earth to join the festivities]

[625 looks up at the containment computer]

Computer:
Experiment 228 activated. Primary function: liquefaction of enemy fortresses, weaponry, and transportation.

625:
Hey, Gantu! I think there's a melting experiment loose. Bet he'd make a good grilled cheese sandwich, huh? [Gantu is fast asleep] Hey! Aw, you know, he really is kinda cute when he's beached. I just can't bear to wake him up. [puts a blanket over Gantu] You just rest.

[the clock strikes noon at the Birds of Paradise hotel; Melty knocks Lilo into a mud puddle and Stitch chases after him; Keoni notices Lilo]

Keoni:
Lemme give you a hand.

Lilo:
No, I'm okay. I... I meant to do that! 'Cause... I'm practicing for a hula... about a mud monster. [nervously dances]

Keoni:
Okay, see you later. [leaves]

Lilo:
[to herself] "I'm practicing for a hula about a mud monster"?! What a loser!

[Lilo and Stitch return home with Melty]

Lilo:
I'm gonna change my identity and move out of town. What do you think of the name Tiffany? With an I.

Stitch:
Eww!

Lilo:
Or I could just go back in time and take a do-over.

Pleakley:
Oh, no, young lady! No time time travel 'til you clean your room!

Lilo:
Uh, I was kidding.

Pleakley:
Uh, I was afraid you were gonna drag out that old time machine Jumba was working on.

Lilo:
Jumba made a time machine?

Pleakley:
[realizes his mistake] Did I say time machine? [chuckles nervously] No, I said rhyme machine. Helps you best a funky rhyme! [raps] My name is Pleakley, and I'm all about style! From my dresses, to my curtains, to my bathroom tile!

[Lilo and Stitch use Jumba's time-traveling surfboard to back to the time when Lilo fell in the mud to do it over; Stitch captures Melty again, but not before Melty destroys the hotel, causing Nani to lose her job]

Lilo:
We're gonna fix this, and this time, we're gonna have a plan so we can get it right. [gestures to a blue shoe Monopoly piece] This is you... [puts down a red car piece] and this is me.

Stitch:
Stitch car!

Lilo:
Fine. [swaps the car and the shoe] You be the car.

Stitch:
[plays with the car] Vroom, vroom!

Lilo:
Stitch, pay attention! We have to get it all perfect this time!

Stitch:
Humph! [puts the car back]

Lilo:
Now, this is you, this is me... [puts down an orange game piece] and this is the experiment. If the experiment goes inside the hotel again, you don't follow it into the lobby. Instead, you go over the roof, like you did the first time, got it?

Stitch:
Roof! Ih!

Lilo:
Meanwhile, I'll make lady conversation with Keoni.

Stitch:
Ih... huh?

Lilo:
Since we're going back anyways, I figure I could do it even better this time.

Stitch:
Whatever!

[after many failed attempts to do it over, Lilo and Stitch decide to travel 5 minutes earlier than usual; however, they find themselves at the front of a prison camp]

Lilo:
[notices the time machine labeled "future"] Uh-oh. You turned the dial the wrong way. Instead of going backward, you went forward. Way forward. We better go back to 12:00.

Stitch:
Uh-huh. [sets the time]

Future Jumba:
[wearing tattered clothing and eyepatches] Experiment 626, you're alive?!

Stitch:
Eh?! [pull the switch and goes back in time with Lilo]

Future Jumba:
Hmm. Was that my time-surfing board?

[after Lilo and Stitch finally got their method down to perfection, Stitch blows a feather off his arm, causing a coconut to fall of the stand and be hit by a golf club and hit Gantu's ship, waking Gantu]

Gantu:
What was that?!

625:
Hey, Rip Van Fishhead. You had a good nap?

Gantu:
Wonderful. Anything happen while I was asleep?

625:
Ah, the usual: I made sandwiches, an experiment was activated. Nothing new really.

Gantu:
WHAT?! [goes off to capture Melty]

[after the time machine was destroyed by Melty, Future Jumba appears with another]

Future Jumba:
Little girl, 626, I have arrived to saving your behinds!

Stitch:
Jumba?

Lilo:
You brought us a new time machine!

Future Jumba:
It has taken decades for to realize what happened here so long ago. From the day I showed you my time-surfer, fabric of time was broken. House was melted, our little family broken beyond compare, I lost two of my eyesights, and yech! Don't even ask what happened to Pleakley! It was not until I saw you surfing through time that I was having two and two!

Lilo:
I'm sorry I ruined the future.

Future Jumba:
Little girl, you can fix everything, but only one way: You must go back to beginning and relive it exactly as it originally happened.

Lilo:
You mean, I'll have to humiliate myself in front of Keoni?

Future Jumba:
A broken time strand can only be repaired when relived exactly. But more important, is accepting of your mistake. If you are dwelling in past, you cannot be living in present, and will lose sight of future. Now, get going before something melts this machine, too! [laughs] Go, go!

Lilo:
Thanks, Jumba! [she and Stitch go back in time]

Future Jumba:
Good luck, little girl!

[Present Jumba appears]

Jumba:
What are you doing here?!

Future Jumba:
I have come to give you warning: Whatever you do, do not build robot wife! Too easy for them to hack into bank account!

[after Lilo and Stitch relive the moment exactly as it was the first time, they capture Melty and Lilo learns to do better tomorrow; Gantu wakes up in his ship]

625:
Hey, sleepyhead. You had a good nap?

Gantu:
Wonderful. Anything happened while I was asleep?

625:
Ah, the usual. I made sandwiches, etched the laser tattograph on your patookie, nothing new, really.

Gantu:
You lasered my PATOOKIE?!

625:
[laughs] You are one deep sleeper, my friend. It's actually a wonderful likeness of, uh, moi. You wanna see?

Gantu:
Wanna see THIS?! [shoots his blaster at 625]

[Stitch does a magic show that does not exactly go as planned]

Lilo:
[whispers to Jumba] You can't tell them how bad they are. It might hurt their self-esteem.

Pleakley:
Aside from the last trick which does need polishing, and the rest of the tricks that need to be completely overhauled, what do you think?

Jumba:
Well, it's completely...

Lilo:
Amazing! Absolutely, completely amazing!

Pleakley:
Good! 'Cause we have our first gig at Mertle's half birthday tomorrow!

Jumba:
"Half birthday"?

Lilo:
She's so spoiled she gets two a year.

Pleakley:
And we wouldn't want to fail there! In front of all your friends. [Lilo is shocked and embarrassed by the comment] Imagine how embarrassing that'd be!

[625 returns after picking up groceries]

625:
Hey, Gantu! So, I'm at the galley, getting some from fresh cold-cuts, and guess what I find nestled in with the tomatoes! TADA! [holds up an experiment pod marked 611]

Gantu:
An experiment?! Give me that! [swipes the pod from 625 and looks up 611 from the container computer]

Computer:
Experiment 611. Primary function: ultimate super weapon.

625:
Wow! I found that?! Great! So, can I take early retirement?

[Gantu contacts Hämsteviel, who is wearing pajamas and holding a teddy bear]

Hämsterviel:
Gantu, you know not to call during my power nap!

Gantu:
My apologies, sir, but I thought you'd like to know that I recovered an ultimate super weapon experiment for you!

625:
What?!

Hämsterviel:
Stop making absurd with your absurdities! You could never manage such an important capture!

625:
He didn't! I--

Gantu:
[pushes 625 down] I'll have it in the transporter within the hour, sir.

Hämsterviel:
Excellent! Now get out there and find me another experiment! [turns off contact]

Computer:
Warning. Experiment 604 activated. Primary function: invisibility generator.

Gantu:
That's one of the pods I lost to the little girl. If I find her, I find the experiment.

625:
Hey, squid breath! Taking credit for my capture is bad karma! As in... YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!!

[Lilo uses 604, now named Houdini, to help Stitch with his magic act; Mertle sees Houdini and takes his picture, flash-blinding him and accidentally making Stitch and all of Mertle's party favors and houseinvisible]

Aunt Stacy:
[dials on her phone] Barry? Stacy. I am standing here looking at the star of your next prime time special! Send me a camera crew.

[Gantu stalks an invisible who Houdini with heat vision goggles]

Gantu:
You're invisibility won't help you this time, runt. These goggles see heat! [his cell phone rings, causing Houdini to run away] 625, what do you want?!

625:
Have you told Hämsterviel that I caught the super weapon yet?!

Gantu:
Don't ever call me while I'm working!

625:
BAD KARMA!!!

[Lilo realizes that she accidentally grabbed an invisible Houdini while Gantu ran off with an invisible Stitch]

Pleakley:
Lookie here. I promised Mertle's Aunt Stacy the Stupendous Stitch would make a lighthouse disappear! And by golly, she's going to get the Stupendous Stitch MAKING A LIGHTHOUSE DISAPPEAR!

[Houdini, frightened by Pleakley disappears and runs off]

Lilo:
You spooked him! Houdini, wait! Great. No Stitch, no Houdini, and national TV waiting! Could it get any worse?!

Jumba:
And don't forget, not-so-friendly friend Mertle is waiting to ridicule you. [laughs]

Lilo:
Right. Thanks for reminding me.

[Gantu runs off with what appears to be an invisible Houdini]

Lilo:
Stitch! I can't believe you just gave him... [Houdini turns visible again] Houdini?! You gave him the empty container. That's quite a magic trick, Mr. Stupendous.

Stitch:
Thank you.

Gantu:
What do you mean the container is empty?!

Hämsterviel:
EMPTY!!!! Like your head, you worthless lackey!

Gantu:
May, I remind that I captured Experiment 611, the ultimate super weapon?!

Hämsterviel:
You were looking at it UPSIDE DOWN!!! You sent me Experiment 119, a sticky chocolate experiment designed to smother with it's gooey sweetness! [119 (AKA Fudgy) covers Hamsterviel with chocolate] Help! Help! Gantu! You will pay for this!

Gantu:
[to 625] If you say one word--

625:
Karma! Karma, karma, karma! [Gantu hits him] OWWW!!!

[Keoni is waxing a sailboat as Lilo and Stitch arrive]

Lilo:
Hey, Keoni!

Keoni:
Hey, Lilo. Thanks for coming out. You bring the stopwatch?

Lilo:
Yep. You think you're gonna qualify for the boat race?

Keoni:
Trying to. If I don't practice I don't have a chance. First prize is a new outrigger. I'll signal you when I'm past the break.

Lilo:
[to Stitch] And if I help him win, I bet there'll be a free boat ride included for me. [pulls out a peanut butter sandwich from her bag] You set up the chairs, I'm gonna go feed Pudge. I'll be right back.

[Gantu arrives at the Rental Hut, disguised as a tourist]

Gantu:
Hello. My name is Mr. John Bob Jonesmith. I'm a normal Earth tourist, and I would like to rent a boat.

Nani:
You're not fooling anyone, Gantu.

625:
Told ya, flounder face. Blubber's still blubber, no matter how you dress it up. Ice cream sandwich?

Gantu:
Quiet, you! [to Nani] I require the use of a watercraft now!

Nani:
[smug] Fine. You wanna rent stuff? I'll rent you stuff!

[scene cuts to Gantu overly dressed in aquatic gear]

625:
Whoa! Captain Clam, what happened? Did the bait shop explode?

Gantu:
She said I needed all this. Now, let's go! We've got an experiment to catch! [trips on his small flippers and crushes his boat] I think I crushed my dinghy.

[Jumba converts the buggy to a boat so Lilo and Stitch can capture 602' Jumba watches them via binoculars]

Pleakley:
See anything? How're they doing?

Jumba:
Little girl and 626 are in position, but the waves keep rocking the boat, making it difficult to get a clear view. Back and forth... Up and down... [Pleakley's face turns green at the thought of the boat rocking] Back and forth... Up and down...

Pleakley:
I think I'm gonna heave-ho! [topples over]

[after the buggy was destroyed by Sinker, Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley hitch a ride on a cruse ship; Lilo plans to warn the captain about Sinker, but Stitch destroys the banquet hall]

Tiffany:
Well, it looks like someone's been a naughty-waughty dog, haven't they?

Lilo:
Busted.

Tiffany:
I'm Tiffany, the cruise director. Are you just the cutest little girly-wirly? Woo, I could just eat you up!

Lilo:
Please stop talking like that.

Tiffany:
It's not a good idea for a cute little giddle-bumpkin like you to be wandering around unsupervised.

Lilo:
We're on our way to see the captain.

Tiffany:
[laughs] That is so cute! You wanna see the captain. Follow me.

[scene changes to Lilo and Stitch being stuck in the ships' kindergarten]

Lilo:
I knew she was too perky to be trusted!

[Lilo and Stitch has successfully captured Sinker; Gantu and 625 are trapped on a desert island]

625:
Well, look at the bright side, Mr. Blubber. Even you can't sink this. [carves a pile of sand to like a sandwich] Sand-wich?

[Gantu angrily grabs 625, adding weight on his side of the island and tipping it over]

[Lilo, Stitch and Pleakley are having a poi balloon fight in the house; Pleakley throws a balloon close to Nani as she arrives]

Nani:
Who threw that?!

[Lilo and Stitch point to Pleakley]

Pleakley:
I was just gardening! They lured me into their evil poi balloon battle!

Nani:
Look at this kitchen! Mr. Jameson's gonna think I'm a total slob!

Lilo:
Mr. Jameson? As in father of Keoni Jameson?

Nani:
As in the son of my potential new boss! They're both coming to brunch tomorrow!

Lilo:
Keoni's coming here?! You gotta clean up this mess, Nani. [Nani glares at her angrily] Well, Stitch and I are going to the movies. Gotta hurry to catch that first show!

[Stitch pins down Nosy after he spoils the movie for him and Lilo]

Nosy:
Hey, ow! What gives, blue guy?!

Lilo:
Stitch, leave that kid alone!

Stitch:
Naga kid! [pulls out Nosy's disguise] Cousin!

Lilo:
Good eye.

Nosy:
Yo, easy, Fido! I'm an alien experiment, not a dog toy.

Lilo:
We know, and we're gonna help you find the one place where you truly belong.

Nosy:
What are you, a greetin' card?

[Lilo unzips her bag]

Nosy:
Hey, what's in that bag of yours? [grabs the bag and looks through it]

Lilo:
Hey!

Nosy:
[pulls out Lilo's diary] Oooh, a diary!

Stitch:
Agaba! [snatches the diary and gives it back to Lilo]

Jumba:
Ah! 199! One of my favorites.

Lilo:
Says here he... "digs up dirt"?

Jumba:
Not to be taken literally. 199 is like spy, designed to get nose into everybody's business.

Nosy:
[walks in holding a book] Look what I found!

Lilo:
My secret catalog of local vampires. I've been looking for that everywhere.

Nosy:
Found it under 626's pillow!

[Lilo glares at Stitch, who then glares at Nosy]

Jumba:
[chuckles] You see? 199 is very nosy.

Lilo:
Nosy, huh? Then why'd you make him?

Jumba:
Why else? To humiliate enemies by digging up most embarrassing secrets. 199 is quite entertaining with so much juicy gossip, no?

[Pleakley is forcing Lilo, Stitch, and Jumba to learn better etiquette for the Jamesons]

Pleakley:
[he blow the whistle] Roll-call, everybody dressed?

Jumba:
Cannot breathing into tight disco pants, oh! Must drop anything.

Stitch:
Ta-da. [he walks downstairs but he step his tie and he trips, rolling on downstairs to Lilo] Ta-da.

Pleakley:
Hmmm... Actually, I was more comfortable with a dog disguise.

Stitch:
Oh...

Nani:
Pleakley, I got more eggs for the... AUGH! Pleakley! They're gonna be here in less than an hour! You're supposed to be cooking!

Pleakley:
Don't worry your little head, Nani. The traditional yule log is roasting as we speak.

Nani:
Yule log? But it's summer!

Pleakley:
Well, Helen the hostess featured one on her show just yesterday. I think she knows what she's doing.

Nani:
That was a rerun! Yule logs are for December, and they're not food!

[doorbell rings]

Nani:
Whoever it is, tell them to...

Mr. Jameson:
Aloha. We thought we'd arrive early to help, that's what Aloha hospitality is all about.

Nani:
[chuckles] Right. Come on in.

Pleakley:
You know, Helen the hostess says, it's rude to arrive before...[Nani elbows him]

Nani:
Um...Mr. Jameson, this is my Aunt Pleakley, my Uncle Jumba, my sister Lilo and our...dog. Who dresses up sometimes.

Jumba:
So nice for to be making your acquaintance seeing, Mr. Emerson.

Pleakley:
It's Jameson, dear. [chuckles] He's not good with names. Sometimes forgets mine. [chuckles]

Lilo:
Hey, Keoni.

Keoni:
Sup, Lilo.

Nosy:
Guess what I found out? Jumba, Pleakley, and Stitch, they're all aliens! But, hey! Who am I'm a judge? I'm an alien, too!

[Nani gasped]

Mr. Jameson:
I beg your pardon.

Nosy:
Hey, you're Keoni! Lilo keeps a bunch of pictures of you in her diary. [as Stitch drags him and walks off] Boy, does she have crush on you.

Lilo:
Oh, no.

[Stitch gives Nosy to Gantu to keep him out of the way during Mr. Jameson's visit]

Nosy:
Hello, shorty! Hey, you're Gantu, the big dummy Lilo drew all those pictures of.

Gantu:
Well, yes. I mean, no! I mean-- Who are you?!

Nosy:
Experiment 199, at your service!

Gantu:
199?! I've been searching for you since your activation!

625:
Who is this guy? The big-nose experiment?

Gantu:
It's the snooping experiment! The foolish Earth girl and the trog gave it to me!

Nosy:
You mean Lilo and Stitch? Boy, do I got some dirt on them!

Gantu:
Really? Tel me everything you know about their experiment files.

Nosy:
Who cares about the experiments? You should hear about the love letters I found in Jumba's drawer!

625:
Ooh, I'm all ears!

[Gantu, annoyed by Nosy's talking, sends him to Hämsterviel]

Hämsterviel:
Tell me, you unattractive talking experiment with such a gigantic nose, what do Gantu and 625 say about me?

Nosy:
Not much. They mostly just sit around making up names for you. Rat-face...

Hämsterviel:
What?!

Nosy:
Hämsterjerk...

Hämsterviel:
What?!

Nosy:
Geisterviel!

Hämsterviel:
WHAT?!

Nosy:
If you want, I should repeat them?

Hämsterviel:
NO!! I reject you and your huge nose! I'm sending you back to Gantu with some unflattering nicknaming of my own! [teleports Nosy back to Gantu's ship]

625:
[notices Nosy] Hey! [throws his magazine at Gantu]

Gantu:
HEY!!

625:
The town gossip's back!

Gantu:
You again?!

Nosy:
Snagged rat-face's journal! It's gold!

Gantu:
Really?

Nosy:
Did you know Hämsterviel sleeps with a pacifier? He also wears platform shoes to make him look threatening. [Gantu takes the journal] And his dental habits, don't get me started!

Gantu:
[whispers to 625] Get rid of him.

625:
Gantu wears what?!

Nosy:
He wears bunny slippers. I saw him waking around in them.

625:
Get out!

Gantu:
Keep it down out there!

Nosy:
Wanna hear about Gantu's obsession with karaoke?

625:
Pray tell!

[Lilo and Stitch find Experiment 158]

Lilo:
He sure is a cute little fella.

Stitch:
Humph!

Lilo:
But not as cute as you, Stitch. Now, we just have to figure out what he can do.

Nani:
[dashes in] Has anyone seen my keys?! I am so late! My boss is gonna fire me so hard. [opens Stitch's mouth] Did you eat them?!

Stitch:
Oh, no.

[158 dashes into the kitchen and sniffs around a bit, and then honks and points at the fridge]

Nani:
Oh, I don't have time for this! Lilo! Your experiment's hungry!

Stitch:
[opens the fridge and grabs Nani's keys] Egata! Haka!

Nani:
My keys! What were they doing in the fridge?

Lilo:
Wow! He must be able to find things. I'm gonna name you Finder. I bet Finder's even better and finding stuff than you, Stitch.

[Stitch growls angrily and then dashes into the living room and rips up the couch, pulling out some items and showing them to Lilo]

Lilo:
Paper clip, nail file, 14 cents, and a... [pulls out a piece of paper] Jury duty summons.

Nani:
[snatches the paper] Er... that's mine.

[after Jumba and Pleakley receive a message from the Grand Councilwoman that Hämsterviel escaped prison]

Pleakley:
I can't believe it. The Grand Councilwoman of the Galactic Federation never calls us unless.. [grabs Jumba by his shirt] INTERGALACTIC ANNIHILATION IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER!!! WHAT DO WE DO?!?

Jumba:
First step is to be gaining composure and LETTING GO OF ME!!

[Hämsterviel, trying to escape from Finder, bumps into Mertle outside the pet shop]

Mertle:
A talking gerbil!

Hämsterviel:
I AM NOT A GERBIL!! And what are you staring at, you multiple-eyed biped? Have you never before seen a criminal genius? [Mertle picks him up and puts him in her backpack] Unhand me, or I will have you and all members of your family ruined in-physically!

Mertle:
Wait'll I take him to show-and-tell.

[Gantu is forced by 625 to make sandwiches for him]

625:
No, no, no. You're slicing them too thick! You have to be able to fit'em in your mouth. Well, my mouth, which is much smaller than your grotesque maw. Now, lay some mustard on me, baby!

Computer:
Incoming communication from...

Grand Councilwoman:
Grand Councilwoman of the Galactic Federation.

[Gantu pushes 625 and the sandwich ingredients aside]

Grand Councilwoman:
Gantu, I have an offer for you. If you're successful, it could mean reinstatement of your captain's rank.

Gantu:
I'll do anything!

Grand Councilwoman:
But you haven't heard what it is yet!

Gantu:
I don't care! Lay some mustard on me, baby! I mean, ma'am. Terribly sorry. Please, go ahead.

Grand Councilwoman:
It's about the escape Dr. Hämsterviel. I know you are... associated with him. But if you capture him and turn him over to us, all will be forgiven.

[Gantu chuckles evilly]

[Gantu kidnaps Hämsterviel and Mertle and taking them to the Grand Councilwoman]

Mertle:
This looks familiar.

Hämsterviel:
I cannot believe this aquatic excuse for a captain! He has turned on me!

Mertle:
It's like you said: Where's the loyalty?

Hämsterviel:
Gantu is a disgrace! You, a mere child of a primate peoples, could do his job a hundred... no, a thousand times better!

Mertle:
I could?

Hämsterviel:
Believe me, you could! Perhaps, when you have completed your education, you could come work for me!

[Stitch pulls on a panel in Gantu's ship, causing it to crash land]

Gantu:
Now I won't be able to deliver Hämsterviel to the Councilwoman!

Grand Councilwoman:
No need to worry about that. I came to you. Guards? [her guards go into Gantu's ship to take Hämsterviel]

Gantu:
I fulfilled my part of the bargain. I caught Hämsterviel! Where is my reward?

Grand Councilwoman:
I suppose you do...

Lilo:
Where's Mertle?!

Grand Councilwoman:
What is a... Mertle?

Lilo:
She's a little girl, like me. Gantu grabbed her when he took Hämsterviel!

Grand Councilwoman:
[to Gantu] Is this true?

Gantu:
Oh, uh, I'm not sure. I haven't really looked. I suppose it's possible.

Grand Councilwoman:
So, you put an innocent girl in danger. [sighs] You always did have a problem with ethics. My offer is therefore resented.

[Gantu is trying to fix the ship's air conditioner during a heat wave]

Gantu:
Stupid broken air conditioner! [the air conditioner explodes] Blitznak! I hate this heat!

625:
Aww, poor little guppy. Say, would I nice warm cup of tea help? Maybe some pipin' hot tomato soup. I can make you a cheeseburger.

Computer:
Warning. Experiment 523 activated.

Gantu:
Oh, a freeze inducer! Perfect! I'll turn this sweltering mud ball into something livable.

625:
[grilling burgers] Hey, Gantu. You want yours medium or well done?

Gantu:
Knock it off!

[523 freezes Kauai via helicopter; Jumba works on Splodyhead/Experiment 619, who Jumba misnumbers as "515"]

Jumba:
Five Fifteen, your thermostat is adjusted. Hot wave should no longer overheat you.

Splodyhead:
Ih! [crawls away]

Jumba:
[chuckles] Don't mention it!

Pleakley:
Splodyhead! Beware, beware! Jumba, we're being invaded. Millions of little white aliens are are landing outside as we speak!

[Lilo and Stitch goes to Waialeale Peak to find Slushy]

Lilo:
The little troublemaker is gonna freeze the whole island if we don't get him. It's icy, so be careful not to... [slides down the slope, alerting Slushy] ...slip.

[Lilo and Stitch captures Slushy and brings him back to the house, which has just thawed out]

Pleakley:
Finally! The sun is back, and so are you! You must've caught the little snow monster.

Lilo:
His name is Slushy.

Pleakley:
Oh, thank the kings of Groovplok 5! No more of that freezing cold snow! It's awful! Just awful!

Jumba:
Eh, actually it's not awful enough. Only makes everything cold and wet. No, not very evil at all.

Lilo:
But it makes snow, and that's good. You can slide on it, throw it at each other, even make snow zombies out of it. So... wanna try it with me?

Stitch, Jumba and Pleakley:
No!

Lilo:
Well, fine! Go inside! I am gonna play in the snow! [lets Slushy out of his container] Alright, Slushy. Do your stuff! But only for my house!

[Slushy uses his ice breath to make it snow all over Lilo's house]

[Gantu captures Slushy and makes him freeze Kauai over]

Lilo:
Good thing you like snow now, huh, Stitch?

Jumba:
Indeed! Experiment 523 works better than ever dreamed! If ice spewing continues, entire island would be transformed from tropical paradise to frozen tundra forever! Is very evil after all! [laughs maniacally but then stops to see Lilo and Stitch glaring at him] Oh, right. Not big fans of evil. Sorry!

[Gantu storms back into his ship after losing another experiment to Lilo and Stitch]

Gantu:
I don't want any of your lip!

625:
I didn't say any--

Gantu:
[smacks 625's sandwich out of his hand] I told you to zip it, you sandwich-making freak!

625:
Oh, look what you did to my tuna on rye!

Gantu:
[suddenly guilty] I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

625:
Hey, hey, hey. You obviously had a bad day. You wanna talk about it?

Gantu:
Well.... alright. It's that trog! Always besting me! I just can't take it anymore! Uh, you're not offended when I call him a trog, are you? Because, after all, you're a trog.

625:
Please! Don't you worry about me. This is about you. Why don't you tell me a little about your childhood?

Gantu:
I haven't thought about that in a while. Well, my father was very authoritarian, so I didn't have many friends. No friends, actually.

625:
Yeah, go on...

[Lilo and Stitch take Dupe to their house]

Jumba:
Hmm, here is experiment I have not been seeing in a long time.

Lilo:
What does it do?

Jumba:
Experiment 344 is duplicator. It can make multiple copies of anyone or anything. Designed to make infinite number of weapons. [Stitch looks at Dupe's antenna while having a lollipop] Careful of the antenna, 626. You might duplicate yourself.

Stitch:
Oh, yeah! [uses Dupe's antenna to clone a lollipop for Lilo and then makes him clone an entire stack of cakes so he could chow down]

Lilo:
Cool! All the lollipops you can eat! [tastes her lollipop] Mmm, good... but there's something different. Is this low-cal?

Jumba:
Yes. Experiment 344 was failure. Duplicates were not as powerful as original.

[Stitch finishes off the stack of cakes]

Lilo:
Better watch out, Stitch, or you'll lose your girlish figure.

Jumba:
Eh, actually, no. Duplicates have less than original of everything, including fat and calories.

Pleakley:
[barges in dressed as a park ranger] Hold everything! As official adult guardian of your slumber party tonight, I don't want that thing wreaking havoc! Nani put me in charge while she's gone, and I'm not letting her down! I got everything planned: pillow fight at 6:00, toenail painting at 7:00, aromatherapy facial's at 8 bells, gossiping about boys will be sprinkled about as spontaneous intervals.

Lilo:
What about light as a feather, stiff as a board?

Pleakley:
Hmm, inducing levitation. Shouldn't take longer than a half hour. I'll pencil ya in at 6:30.

[Gantu is continuing telling his childhood story to 625]

Gantu:
Then, when I was 12, I was excluded from peer group's parties.

625:
Let me stop your there. I understand your problem.

Gantu:
You do?

625:
It's obvious: your life is a boring failure! I wouldn't wanna be you, either! All you do is whine "It's all the trog's fault!"

Gantu:
You said you wanted to hear it!

625:
I didn't it would be so tedious!

Gantu:
Daddy always said to trust no one. Why haven't I learned?!

625:
Don't you feel better now?

[at Lilo and Stitch's slumber party, Yin, Yang, Richter, and Cannonball are having a big pillow fight]

Pleakley:
We're done with the pillow fight phase and have moved on to the facial phase! Come on, people! Stick to the schedule!

[the experiments stare at each other and then start hitting Pleakley with their pillows]

[Lilo accidentally clones Stitch with Dupe after wanting more friends; she takes the clones to her hula class]

Lilo:
Hey, guys. I missed you at my slumber party.

Mertle:
We have a scheduling conflict.

Lilo:
That's okay. Let me introduce you to my new friends. [the three Stitches clean their noses with their tongues]

Mertle:
There goes hula class.

Lilo:
By the way, I'm having another slumber party tonight, with a levitation.

Mertle:
Oh, really?

Lilo:
Yep. Only this time, you're not invited. Right, guys?

All three Stitches:
YYYEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!

Lilo:
It's good to have a posse.

[with the help of Heat, Thresher, Plasmoid, and Hammerface, Gantu has succeeded in capturing all four Stitches; he rings a bell for 625, nothing happens]

Gantu:
Ahem! I rang the bell!

625:
You can forget it! I'm not coming out!

Gantu:
Fine! Plasmoid?

[Plasmoid readies a shot from his tail]

625:
Alright, alright! [comes out dressed as a butler] Happy now?

Gantu:
I want you to make a victory feast for my brave warriors.

625:
'Kay. Victory feast. With or without crust?

[Lilo tricks Gantu into using Dupe to clone a hundred of Heat, Thresher, Plasmoid, and Hammerface, making them too weak against the Pleakley clones while she merges all 4 Stitches back into the original]

Gantu:
I don't understand. My army, they're so weak! You tricked me!

Lilo:
Yep. It's a side effect. United you stand, but divided you're a whole mess of weaklings.

[Lilo and Stitch go to the carnival; Gantu and 625 are also at the carnival; Gantu is failing at the ring toss game]

Gantu:
Stupid ring toss game! Must be rigged to prevent my winningǃ

625:
I didn't have a problem. [holding up his stuffed elephant] And I finally have something interesting to talk to. Ain't that right, Mr. Puffles? [hugs the elephant]

Gantu:
[throws and misses a bottle again] Oh, poo! Why did we come to this primitive Earth recreation area anyway?

625:
Hey, to see that! [runs towards the World's Largest Sandwich display] A sandwich to end all sandwiches! The world record-holder in loaf size, meat density, and mayo per square inch! Oh, I gotta taste!

Gantu:
[grabs 625] Stop it! We're trying to blend in on this planet!

625:
Just one bite! ONE BITE!

Gantu:
Even your big mouth couldn't bite that monstrosity!

625:
I'm willing to die trying!

Gantu:
Experiment 297: Designed to sabotage mechanical and electrical devices.

[Lilo and Stitch are trying to find a device in order to make Stitch bigger so he could be tall enough to go on the rides; Pleakley comes in after baking a pineapple shortcake]

Pleakley:
What are you two doing?

Lilo:
Stitch wants Jumba's help.

Pleakley:
He's off-planet, doing his community service. He's a convicted evil genius, you know! But maybe I can help.

Lilo:
See... Stitch is looking for evil genius help, not Pleakley help.

Pleakley:
Hey! I can do more than cook and clean, you know! I was trained in Galactic Alliance Community College! I would make a perfectly acceptable substitute evil genius.

Lilo:
Well... okay. Stitch thinks he needs to be bigger. I think he's wrong, but...

Pleakley:
Hmm... A little conundrum of molecular resizefication, eh?

[while Lilo and Pleakley try to shrink Stitch back to normal size, Shortstuff comes in and sabotages the size ray, making him grow to a humongous size and terrorize Kokaua Town]

Lilo:
Okay, we gotta get everyone back to normal size.

Pleakley:
But we can't possibly shrink 297 now! We need an extension cord of impossible length! Oh, how will we stop that monstrosity?! How, I ask?!

Stitch:
[holds out the size ray] Meega bigger!

Pleakley:
Hmm.... fight bigger with bigger, eh? So, instead of one giant monster, we'll have two. [Stitch nods in agreement] It's so crazy, it just might work! [aims the ray at Stitch to make him bigger.]

[Stitch and Shortstuff, now gigantic size, get ready to fight each other]

Lilo:
These big monster battles never turn out well.

[Jumba returns and shrinks Stitch to his normal size to fight Shortstuff]

Pleakley:
I know I could use some practice, but if you need a substitute evil genius again, I...

Jumba:
Oh, no! You are like 626, best made for one true purpose.

Pleakley:
You mean being a high-ranking official in the Galactic Alliance?

Jumba:
No, I mean disguising self like ugly Earth female! [laughs] "Official!"

Yuki:
Hey, look. Lilo's back with her little tiny friend.

Lilo:
He's not tiny. He's just right.

Stitch:
Perfecto!

Mertle:
That's so sweet! Now get to the back of the line! We're gonna on the ride before you!

Ride Operator:
OK, next! [sees Lilo and Stitch] Oh, hey, little miss! Come on in. You know you brought me the most popular ride in the carnival.

[Mertle is shocked that Lilo and Stitch go on the ride, which is really Shortstuff]

[Lilo and Stitch find Pleakley watching TV]

Lilo:
What are you watching?

Pleakley:
America's Gushiest Home Love Stories. Love-crazed Earthlings send in homemade video documentation of their absurd courtship rituals. It's absolutely fascinating!

Stitch:
Blah! Love icky!

Lilo:
Ah, come on, Stitch. You gotta believe in love.

Pleakley:
Lilo's right. Just you wait. Someday, you'll find another little monster who shares your likes and dislikes. Who finds your little quirks just oh-so adorable.

Stitch:
Ah, kachaka!

[Stitch finds Angel, but is love-struck by her beauty]

Lilo:
Stitch, what's the matter?! She's a nasty one! Grab her before she eats us!

Stitch:
Naga. Tee bokany ba boojiboo! [Angel lovingly licks him]

Lilo:
She's no boochiboo! She's one of Jumba's evil experiments!

Stitch:
Naga! Tee bokany ba boojiboo!

[Angel sneaks back into Gantu's ship]

625:
Hello, hotcakes! I thought you went the whole "captured-by-the-little-girl-and-turned-good" route.

Gantu:
Ha! Shows how much you know! She's right on schedule.

625:
"On schedule"? You mean, you actually planned all this? The whole chase? Losing the experiment? You slipping on the coconuts and falling on your keister? All of it?!

Gantu:
Well, the keister part was... improvised. All is going according to plan. The trog's household is infiltrated and Jumba's database compromised. Contact with the other repurposed experiments begins... tomorrow!

[Angel smiles evilly]

[Lilo learns that Angel's song turns experiment evil and hearing it in reverse reverts them back to good; Angel feels guilty for Stitch about to beaten by the experiments turned evil, so she sings her song backwards to revert them back to good and helps them escape]

Lilo:
Stitch! What happened to Angel? Bet you had to use your super strength to do her in!

Stitch:
Naga. Angel save Stitch. [Angel comes out]

Lilo:
No kidding?

Stitch:
Gotta believe in love!

Hämsterviel:
Gantu! I'm sending Experiment 010 back to you! He's driving me bananas!

Gantu:
No! Please! I--

Hämsterviel:
And no fishy-lip whining or complaining or making with the "Please, don't send it back!"

Gantu:
But-- Very well.

625:
You do have fishy lips, you know.

[Lilo and Stitch capture 010 after it cleans up the beach]

Jumba:
Little girl and 626, meet Experiment 010.

Lilo:
I'm naming him Felix... because on TV, all neat freaks are named Felix.

Stitch:
Aloha, neat freak. [hugs Felix]

Lilo:
You should've seen him cleaning up that beach. He was all "voop, voop, voop!" and "poop, poop, poop!" with his nose!

Jumba:
Nose?! Ha! Is not just rodementary O-factoring device. He is sophisticated biosystem of tiny brushes and hormonal detergents. 010 has threefold duty: 1. Automatically tidy up all messes. 2. Digest process all garbage and trash. And 3. Antisceptisize against all unhealthy germs and sources of filth.

Lilo:
So he's hung up on dirt, just like Nani and Pleakley.

Pleakley:
I heard that! You're talking about me! [sees Felix] AAAHHHH!! Mele kiliiki maaka! Another monster in the house?! No, no, no! I forbid it!

Lilo:
But Felix is just like you. You two would probably get along great.

Pleakley:
Are you kidding? It's nothing but a walking sack of Jumba's evil geniusness. It's dangerous!

Lilo:
Jumba, he's not dangerous, is he?

Jumba:
If I am remembering correctly, 010 cannot tell difference between dirt for cleaning up and unbathed evil genius for leaving alone. But I'm quite certain a fixed that looooong ago. Yes, now little 010 is so gentle, would not hurt even tiniest Earth fly.

[Unbeknownst to the other characters, Felix shoots a laser out of his nose, vaporizing a fly]

Felix:
Dirty!

[Pleakley has grown attached to Felix ever since he cleaned up the house]

Pleakley:
Laundry pressed and starched, linoleum buffed to a blinding polish. Ah, it doesn't get any better.

Lilo:
Pleakley, your "soulmate" just threw out my collection of seashells that look like presidents.

Pleakley:
Salty sea junk? Who cares?

Lilo:
And it chucked out Stitch's bed!

Pleakley:
Worm-eaten pineapple crate? So what?

Jumba:
I have been working on cure for pesky Earth viruses. Has anyone seen my petri dish cultures?

Pleakley:
Care for the common cold? Better off without out!

[Felix comes in and sniffs Pleakley's sewing machine]

Felix:
Dirty!

Lilo:
[smug] Trashy old sewing machine? Who needs it?

Pleakley:
Yeah. Just a heap of scrap metal... [snaps out of it] WAIT!!! That's not trash! It's retro! IT'S RETROOOOO!!!!

[Felix sucks up the sewing machine through his nose and shoots into the trash]

[Felix has Lilo, Stitch and Jumba trapped in their own house]

Jumba:
Uh-oh. I am just remembering: I did not fix flaw in 010's programming.

Lilo:
[sarcastically] Great. Now you remember. So what was the flaw?

Jumba:
Logic problem in 010's third function: anticeptisize against all unhealthy germs and sources of filth, which is what he sees us as. Filthy huge germs to anticeptisize.

Lilo:
That's something like taking a bath, right?

Jumba:
Yes, like taking a bath. The last bath you'll ever take!

[Lilo gasps in fright]

Felix:
Dirty, dirty, dirty!!!

[Jumba has just finished making modifications on Felix]

Jumba:
Presenting 010.2, the upgrade. Reversed polarity, so is no longer obsessively neat.

Lilo:
Well... Let's try him out. [pours some cereal on the floor]

Pleakley:
Oh, what price science.

Jumba:
[chuckles] See? No reaction at all to big mess-making.

[Lilo smashes the cereal by jumping on it; Felix hops over to the mess and takes a deep breath]

Lilo:
Hey, what's he doing?

Jumba:
I'm evil genius, not fortune teller.

[Felix blows the mess with his nose, making an entire mess of the kitchen]

Lilo:
Now Felix in an Oscar, a total dirt freak!

Felix:
Dirty, dirty, dirty! [Stitch shoves him into a container]

Jumba:
Interesting. Perhaps I have reversed polarity tiniest bit too much.

Pleakley:
Gee, ya think?!

[Gantu has just finished cleaning up his ship]

Gantu:
There, finally got the place clean.

625:
Uh-uh-uh! You missed a spot! The entire kitchen!

Gantu:
[sighs, notices a wrapped box outside the ship] Say... [pulls out the tag] "Best wishes from Lilo and Stitch." [opens the box to reveal Felix] Experiment 010! You're back! We never should've let you go!

[Gantu takes Felix into the ship]

Gantu:
625, look, it's-- Hey, what's he doing?

625:
I don't know, but I don't like it.

[Felix messes up the ship]

Gantu:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[Pleakley has contracted Experiment 222 in his body while eating breakfast cereal, causing him to break out in purple spots and burp uncontrollably]

Pleakley:
Oh, the pain, the torment, [burps] the acid reflex. Help me....

Lilo:
Pleakley?! What happened to you?

Stitch:
[sniff's Pleakley's feet] Ah! Stinky!

Lilo:
Wow. You're covered in purple pimples.

Pleakley:
And my eye's swelled, and I'm burping uncontrollably.

Lilo:
[thinks a bit] No problem. We'll fix you.

[she and Stitch leave the room and come back dresses as surgeons]

Lilo:
Okay, we're ready!

Pleakley:
[nervously] Ready? [burps] Ready for what?

Lilo:
To operate!

Stitch:
[pulls out a chainsaw] Tooki bah wah bah!

[after losing Gantu at the medical clinic, Lilo, Stitch, and Pleakley return to their house]

Jumba:
Okey-dokey. Is simple plan. I use reducer ray to shrink 626 to microscopic teeny-tiny size. Then pilot ex-buggy inside Pleakley and capture 222.

Lilo:
Hey, how'd you get the buggy in here?

Jumba:
Oh, simple: cup opener- It's not important. What is important is...

Lilo:
THAT I DRIVE!!!

Jumba:
You make joke! This is no job for to little girl!

Stitch:
Yana poola! Ichi boh boh!

Jumba:
Lilo drives.

Lilo:
YAY!!

Pleakley:
Oh, you're gonna let the little girl drive around MY INSIDES?!?

Jumba:
What could I do? There is no arguing with "ichi boh boh", hmm?

[Lilo and Stitch defeat Gantu by making him contract Poxy]

625:
Amazing! You've finally caught an experiment!

Gantu:
I didn't want to catch it like this. These pimples itch! How come you're not sick?

625:
Chicken soup salad sandwiches!

Gantu:
Can I have one?

625:
Sorry. Outta bread again.

Gantu:
I hate this planet.

[Lilo runs into the house; Stitch is exhausted]

Lilo:
AAAAAH!!!! HE'S COMING! THIS IS A CATASTROPHE! HE'S ON HIS WAY RIGHT NOW!!

Pleakley:
Hold it! HOLD EVERYTHING!! Now explain to me slowly and clearly exactly what happened.

Lilo:
Okay. Keoni Jameson was holding a bouquet of flowers, when he asked Tino directions to our house. When Tino asked why he wanted directions, he said he had to ask a real cutie something. It's so obvious what he has in mind.

Pleakley:
Now explain to me slowly and clearly exactly what happened.

Lilo:
Keoni is going to ask me to the Lono-I-Ke-Aweawe festival! [pause] The annual Valentine's Day festival!

Pleakley:
And this is a catastrophe how?

Lilo:
Only because I'm so not ready! Stitch, you stall him. Act like I'm too pretty to come to the door. And Pleakley, stay out of the way.

Pleakley:
Oh, you won't even know I'm here! All of Galactic Federation observers, such as myself, are masters of the art of seamlessly blending in.

[the doorbell rings]

Lilo:
That's him!

Pleakley:
WAIT!! I'm not seamlessly blended in yet! I'm un-seamlessly un-blended!

[Lilo kicks Keoni out of the house after she finds out he really has a crush on Pleakley in his female disguise]

Lilo:
It's a world gone mad!

Pleakley:
Lilo, it's called camouflage. He's supposed to think I'm an attractive Earth woman.

Jumba:
[chuckles] Someone found Pleakley attractive?

Lilo:
Not someone! KEONI!!! Poor guy must have ear bugs eating his brain.

Jumba:
Hmm, I fear it could be possibly something far in the way worse. Here, look your eyeballs on this. Is Experiment 323. It must have been activated, and is loose on island. One peck from its beak causes victim to fall head over feet in love with the very next person they see! [laughs maniacally but then falls off his chair] Lovesickness is very destructive. Can bring entire societies crashing to standstill.

Lilo:
Oh! So, Keoni just got pecked by your Hunkahunka Bird of Love experiment.

Jumba:
He is only thing could explain sensible tweenage boy having crush on one-eyed noodle like Pleakley.

Pleakley:
Oh, and I suppose he couldn't have just fallen for my brilliant Earth female disguise.

Lilo:
I don't think so.

Jumba:
Impossible!

Stitch:
Naga.

[Pleakley approaches a group of surfers while dressed as a Spanish flamenco dancer]

Pleakley:
Hi, boys. Could one of you help with some sunblock? [the surfers stare at him] That is a completely believable request from a beautiful Earth woman, right?

Surfer:
Um... I guess so.

Pleakley:
Good. Let me get out my lotion. [as he looks in his bag, his wig falls off]

Surfer:
No! I mean, on second thought, we gotta go catch some choice waves. Now! Seeya! [he and the other surfer dash away]

Pleakley:
Wait! Come back here! I'm beautiful! [sighs]

[Lilo is trying to ask Keoni to the dance]

Lilo:
So, Keoni, if you're going to the Lono-I-Ke-Aweawe, it's accustomed to bring a date.

Keoni:
Yeah, I know. That's why I asked your Aunt Pleakley. She is such a hottie.

Stitch:
[drags the cooler containing Hunkahunka toward Lilo] Maka maka, sassa!

Lilo:
Not now, Stitch. I'm trying to get Keoni to ask me to the dance. [a rattle is heard from the cooler] Oh, you caught Hunkahunka! [picks up Hunkahunka] Perfect!

Stitch:
Naga, naga!

Lilo:
Keoni, do I have something in my teeth?

Keoni:
Not that I can see. [Lilo puts Hunkahunka behind his neck, causing him to peck him and look straight at Lilo] I think I love you!

Lilo:
Attaboy, Stitch! Good thinking.

Stitch:
Aba tooka! [puts Hunkahunka back in the cooler] Cousin, home.

Lilo:
Oh, we can find the one true place he truly belongs later. Right now, Keoni and I are gonna spend some quality time together. Right, Keoni?

Keoni:
Whatever you say, Lilo.

[Stitch groans in frustation]

[Stitch returns home with Hunkahunka waiting in the cooler]

Jumba:
Ah, 626, good. Here you are. I have found antidote for lovesickness. Victim of 323 is affected by the proboscis injection in coordination with retinal stimuli. Therefore, a rehydration of optical nerves and surrounding sensory sensors will negate the effect.

Stitch:
[confused] Huh?

Jumba:
Spraying of water in face will cure lovesickness.

Lilo:
Hey, wanna play Skip Rocks? I'll go first, because I'm the lady.

Keoni:
So, what do I do?

Lilo:
Um, you have to skip a stone and see if you can win. [throws a flat stone that skips across the water]

Keoni:
Do you want me to win?

Lilo:
Well, no.... I wanna win, that's the game.

Keoni:
[simply picks up a large stone and drops into the water] You won!

Lilo:
Yeah....

[Stitch zaps Hunkahunka and puts him in the doorprize drawing box outside the Lono-I-Ke-Aweawe dance]

Lilo:
Stitch! Good thing you're here! Man, I never should have used Hunkahunka to peck Keoni. This fakey love is the worst! Did Jumba give you the antidote?

Stitch:
Ih!

Lilo:
Good. I need to get some to Keoni fast. Is it in here? [takes the box]

Stitch:
Naga! Naga! [as soon as the box opens, Hunkahunka flees into the dance room] Doonga!

Lilo:
Oops. Well, how was I supposed to know? Why was it in a box?

[Gantu captures Hunkahunka and Stitch uses the fire alarm to break everybody out of their lovesickness]

Pleakley:
So it was all an experiment's fault. I guess my attractive Earth woman's camouflage was a miserable failure after all.

Keoni:
Miss Pleakley? You look really nice tonight.

Lilo:
Uh-oh. Keoni must not have gotten wet.

Pleakley:
Time to get over it, kiddo. [sprays water into Keoni's face]

Keoni:
Wow. You're beautiful and quirky.

Pleakley:
I am? I am, aren't I?! Woo-hoo! My camouflage is beautiful after all!

Lilo:
Wow, Keoni had a real crush on Pleakley all along.

Stitch:
Ooh! Naga botifa!

[Gantu transports Hunkahunka to Hämsterviel]

Hämsterviel:
You have an experiment? Give it to me! FASTER!!! Why are you so slow, you slow sharky thing?! You are the most incompetent of incompetence! And another I have been meaning to tell you... [Hunkahunka pecks him, causing him to feel a love connection with Gantu] I think I love you!

Gantu:
Really? Tell me more.

Hämsterviel:
Like that idiotic look on your face when you have no clue what you are doing, it is so disgustingly cute! And all those stupid things you say, oh, how you make me laugh! I love it!

Gantu:
Oh, blitznack.

[Stitch receives a letter]

Stitch:
Mmm.... Akeba? [hands the letter to Lilo]

Lilo:
It's from the lady at the animal shelter where we adopted you. It says it's time for your shots.

Stitch:
Oh, okay... BU-BYE!!! [dashes away]

Lilo:
Oh, no you don't! [chases after Stitch]

Lilo:
Stitch, come down! If you don't get your shots, you could catch a mutating virus!

Stitch Naga shots! Ouchie!

Lilo:
Okay. How about this? If you come down and get your shots, you can have coconut cake for breakfast?

Stitch:
Coconut cake and coffee?

Lilo:
Deal!

[Gantu is listening to a self-motivating CD]

Instructor:
And in order to achieve success, you must never accept failure. Tell yourself that you are a door!

Gantu:
I am a door.

Instructor:
Louder! Make you mama proud!

Gantu:
I AM A DOOR!!

625:
Hey, doo-boy, could you keep it down? I'm trying to savor a salami sub in here.

Computer:
Warning. Experiment 258 activated. Primary function: sonic annoyance.

Gantu:
Hmmm.... "Drives people mad by sampling sounds and repeating them in an endless grating rhythm. 625, today I will be successful. I'm ordering you to not let me back in the ship unless I have captured that experiment. Remember, no matter what I say, no matter how much I implore you, do not let me back in unless I've captured the experiment.

625:
[sarcastically] Oh, yeah. That'll work.

Gantu:
I heard that!

[Susan calls in Merwin and Dean from the Alien Convention after receiving Sample]

Merwin:
We're here to see the something.

Susan:
If you guys are alien hunters, why are you dressed like aliens?

Dean:
Well, we're going to an alien's convention, and so my mom made me these costumes out of her old trailer on...

Merwin:
[elbows Dean] Infiltrate and assimilate, ma'am. These costumes allow us to walk among the E.T.'s undetected.

[Merwin and Dean chase Lilo and Stitch after they grab Sample]

Merwin:
So, thought you could hide, huh? Sorry, kids, this little alien is...

Gantu:
Mine!

Merwin:
Another one!

Dean:
And he's big! Outer-space big!

Merwin:
Forget these little guys! Let's bag him!

Stitch:
Okeetaka! [he and Lilo run off with Sample]

[Merwin and Dean corner Gantu]

Gantu:
Out of my way, Earth forms!

Dean:
[pointing his stick at Gantu] Hold it right there, alien!

Gantu:
A plasma-converting pulse cannon 9000 series. The most feared weapon in the galaxy! Only one known counter-measure: RUN!!! [runs away]

Merwin:
That alien totally thinks your ray gun is real. What's it made of?

Dean:
Toilet paper rolls and aluminum foil.

Merwin:
Cool!

[Gantu runs back to his ship and bangs on the entrance]

Gantu:
625, open the door!

625:
Uh, where's the experiment?

Gantu:
What?!

625:
Sorry, squidly. Can't let you in without the experiment. Hey, your orders.

Gantu:
By the fires of the planet Krimlatt, I'LL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR--

Merwin:
I think he went that way.

[Gantu captures Stitch and Sample and heads to the Alien Convention with Merwin and Dean]

Lilo:
Gantu, you can't let'em take you to the Alien Convention! They'll tell everybody you're an alien!

Gantu:
Correction, they'll tell everybody you're aliens.

Lilo:
But we made a deal.

Gantu:
And I made a new deal. I affect your capture, you two appear in the alien demonstration of the convention, and they and then they hand 258 over to me.

Stitch:
Egaba! Toobiteeba!

Gantu:
Quiet, trog, or he'll turn that plasma cannon on you!

[Jumba and Pleakley come to the Alien Convention; Pleakley is wearing Galactic Federation uniform]

Jumba:
Is my hair on straight?

Pleakley:
That's better, but you don't need it. I feel completely at home here.

Jumba:
Ha! You say. I think you are sticking out like sore thumb.

[as soon as they enter the convention, they see many people dressed as aliens]

Pleakley:
Greetings, fellow aliens!

Jumba:
Then again, maybe is my that is sticking and soring.

Announcer:
Greetings, aliens and spacemen. Can I have your attention? Right on this stage, for a second year in a row, Merwin and Dean and their real live aliens from outer space! Space... space.. space...

Fan:
[sarcastically] Oh, this oughta be good.

Pleakley:
What's so special about aliens? We're all real live aliens here!

Fan:
[fake cough] What a geek!

Merwin:
Fellow believers, I, Merwin Finklestein, professional alien hunter, am proud to present, a real live alien!

[the curtain rises to reveal Gantu who failed to capture Stitch and Sample]

Gantu:
But we had a deal!

Merwin:
Yeah, we did. But you let those other two get away, so you're going to take their place.

Gantu:
Oh, you think so? [Dean points his stick at him] Okay, okay! Just be careful with that thing!

Pleakley:
Oh, no! You were right! They're big nasty alien hunters with a big nasty plasma-converter pulse cannon, and you and I are in big trouble!

Jumba:
Bah! Big hunters are big phonies, and so is gun. Looks like plasma-converter 9000 series, but is obvious fake.

Lilo:
See, Stitch? Never bale out on a deal, because what goes around comes around.

Nani:
You want to go see what?!

Lilo:
Sludge Mummies Episode 2: Attack of the Bones.

Nani:
But you didn't even see the first movie!

Lilo:
Only because you wouldn't take me!

Nani:
Hello, you were three!

Lilo:
Mertle gets to see PG movies. Her mom goes with her.

Nani:
Oh, and if Mertle's mom jumped off a cliff, I suppose you'd want me to do that too!

Lilo:
Wow! Would you?

Nani:
No! There will be no cliff-jumping and no Sludge Zombie movies!

Lilo:
They're Sludge Mummies!

Nani:
Whatever!

Mr. Jameson:
Ahem!

Nani:
Lilo, look, I've got work to do. I said no movie, and I mean no movie.

Nani:
Lilo! I told you no Sludge Mummy movies!

Lilo:
Nani?! But I--I didn't--

Nani:
Didn't think I'd come by and check? Well, you were wrong!

Lilo:
Uh… [chuckles nervously]

[Back at the Pelekai house, Lilo, Stitch and Nani enter as the two sisters argue]

Stitch:
Oh, trouble coming.

Lilo:
How come you're always telling me what to do?

Nani:
Because I'm the older sister here. I'm the babysitter.

Lilo:
I am not a baby! And you're not an adult! You're just a grownup!

Nani:
Whatever! I'm responsible for you, Lilo. That means I'm all about what's best for you. So what I say goes.

Lilo:
You mean like a dictator?!

Nani:
Go to your rooftop dome!

Lilo:
[elevating up to her dome] I'm already there!

[Nani walks away, groaning in annoyed anger as Lilo screams in annoyed fury]

[Stitch releases Babyfier, causing him to turn him, Nani, Jumba and Pleakley into infants; Lilo recaptures Babyfier]

Lilo:
Well, now that I'm the oldest, I guess I'm in charge. But what do I do?! [the babies stare at each other and then stare at Lilo] I guess adults just do whatever they wanna do. So... Let's go to the movies. Come on, gang!

[Lilo rushes out of the kitchen, but then stops to see Baby Jumba throwing eggs everywhere]

Baby Jumba:
[laughs] Whee! Evil! Ha, ha-ha!

Lilo:
Jumba, no! I'm in charge now, and I say you have to stop playing evil and go to the movies with me.

[Lilo suddenly hears the dryer running]

Baby Nani:
Playtime! Playtime!

Lilo:
[pulls Baby Nani out of a laundry basket] Nani, how many times have you told me, you can't play in the dryer. [Baby Stitch detaches the fridge door and starts eating it] Stitch, no!

Baby Pleakley:
I made oops in my pants.

Lilo:
[Baby Nani begins playing with the stove] Nani, no! [Baby Jumba throws an egg at her head] Jumba, no! [Baby Stitch begins to eat the whole refrigerator] STITCH, NO!!!

Baby Pleakley:
I made more oops in my pants!

[Baby Pleakley begins to cry, along with the other three babies]

Lilo:
I guess the movie's off. I'm a mother of four!

[Gantu captures Babyfier]

625:
A baby-making experiment? Hey, aren't humans capable of doing that that all by themselves?

Gantu:
No, no, no. It turns grownups into babies.

625:
Really?

Gantu:
Yes, babies! Hey, I'm feeling a little peckish. How about making me a... [Babyfier has been released from the container] Hey, how'd you get out?!

[Babyfier outmaneuvers Gantu and turns him into an infant, who begins to waddle around giggling]

625:
Sorry, G, I couldn't resist. I always wondered out like a guppy or a tadpole. Turns out you were just a smaller kind of ugly. Whoah! Aerial attack!

[625 narrowly dodges Babyfier and tricks it into going up the elevator where it escapes]

Hämsterviel:
GANTU!!! Did my hamster eyes just see what I thought they saw?! The escape of yet another valuable experiment?! And why are you acting like a baby, you incompetent, lazy, oh-so-smelly, fish-footed--

[Baby Gantu cries; 625 runs up to comfort him]

625:
Hey, lighten up, Dr. H, will ya? Little Googoo here hasn't had his nap yet.

Hämsterviel:
No, no, no! There will be no napping-apping babies! I want my experiments! So get going! GO, GO, GO!!!! [625 dashes out of the ship carrying Baby Gantu in a baby stroller] NOW, NOW, NOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!

[Baby Stitch and Baby Gantu begin fighting over Babyfier]

Baby Stitch:
Mine!

Baby Gantu:
Mine!

Baby Stitch:
Mine!

Baby Gantu:
Mine!

Baby Stitch:
Miiiiine!

[Gantu accidentally lets go, causing him to launch himself onto a slide]

625:
Be careful, little Googoo! Don't hurt the poor innocent slide!

[Baby Jumba and Baby Pleakley sneak into Kiki's Coffee Shop to find 100% Kona Coffee to create the antidote for Babyfier's effects]

Baby Jumba:
Ach! Too many peoples. Must clear room somehow.

Baby Pleakley:
Oops!

[as soon as the stench reaches everyone's noses, they all flee the shop and Kiki places a "Enter at Own Risk" sign on the door]

[Baby Stitch launches the antidote into the sky, turning everyone in Kauai back to normal, including Nani]

Lilo:
You're back! Thank goodness I'm the little sister again. Being responsible is hard.

Nani:
[chuckles] Yeah, but it can be pretty satisfying, when you raise a good kid.

Lilo:
I am pretty good, huh?

Nani:
Yep. In fact, I wanna reward you for being babysitter for a day. Let's go see some Sludge Mummies!

Lilo:
Attack of the Bones?! Really?!

Nani:
Yeah. I kinda forgot what it was like to be a kid. Now I remember. When you gotta see a scary movie, you gotta see a scary movie.

[Baby Gantu is crying loudly while 625 is calling on the phone]

625:
Hello, Baby Hotline? Yeah, hi. How do you burp a large shark-like alien baby? No, this isn't a joke! Wait, wait, don't hang up! I--- Oh, blitznack!

Nani:
[enraged] LILO, YOU LOLO!

[Stitch spits out Scrump and he and Lilo rush toward the window, pushing pillows in their faces]

Nani:
Lilo, Stitch! Yesterday, I told you no running around the house. So what do you do? You run around the house! Last week, I told you to clean your room. Is it clean? No! What's gonna be next with you?

Jumba:
She almost made me drop my highly unstable container of uflasium.

Nani:
Well, what do you have to say for yourselves?

Lilo:
Uh, well, I ate breakfast like you asked, and I can prove it. [belches, without saying "Excuse me" and Stitch laughs]

Nani:
And you're supposed to say "Excuse me" when you burp! That does it! You two are grounded! 24 hours!

Lilo:
[crossing her arms] What's the big deal? We didn't hurt anyone.

[Stitch is about to go out through the window]

Stitch:
Keetooka naga!

Lilo:
Where are you going? [grabs Stitch's ankle]

Stitch:
Keetooka naga!

Lilo:
We can't leave! We're grounded!

Stitch:
Maka maka, sasa!

Lilo:
I don't care if it's a free country! Nani would roast us! And I don't care if we should be able to do whatever we wanna do whenever we wanna do it. We can't leave. So... So... What are you waiting for?! Help me up!

[Lilo and Stitch track down Bonnie and Clyde into an abandoned factory]

Lilo:
We've got you cornered, cousins!

Bonnie:
Reeeaaally? I think it's us got the drop on you, cuz!

[Stitch growls at her]

Bonnie:
Whoa, there, blue boy. One of Jumba's, huh?

Lilo:
Hi, I'm Lilo, and this is Stitch. He's your cousin. This is how it works: I turn you from bad to good, and find the one place where you belong, so you don't end up with Gantu.

Bonnie:
Waddya you know about Gantu?

Lilo:
We know everything about him. He's a stinky-head. And he tries to get our experiments, but he's really lame. So even when he catches them and takes them back to his ship, we can usually rescue him.

Bonnie:
You've broken into his ship?

Lilo:
Sure, lots of times.

Bonnie:
No kiddin'! Hey, I'm being rude! Come in, come in! I'm 349 and he's 350. Welcome to our domicile.

Clyde:
What are you doing?! You showin'em our hideout! I don't think--

Bonnie:
How many times I gotta tell ya?! Leave the tinkin' to me! Those two goody-goodies are gonna help us brake into that very high-tech, very valuable spaceship!

[after Lilo, Stitch, Bonnie and Clyde narrowly escape Gantu's ship]

Bonnie:
I gotta hand it to you kid, that was quite the escape. You two got great criminal minds.

Lilo:
When did we cross the big fat line from "having fun" to "being great criminal minds"?

[Lilo, Stitch & Pleakley successfully capture Bonnie and Clyde despite Nani's warning not to leave the house]

Lilo:
Sorry we disobeyed you again. We had to catch the bad guys. So... Are we off the hook?

[Nani looks at Officer Kahiko, who smiles at her]

Nani:
Well, you were trying to do the right thing, and you did get the bad guys. So... yeah. You and me are cool.

Officer Kahiko:
But, you and the municipality of Kokaua Town, that's another story.

[Lilo is addressing to her softball team, which consists of Stitch, Jumba, Yin, Yang, Richter, Kixx, and Splodyhead]

Lilo:
Alright, men, and evil geniuses, and genetic mutants from outer space. We are here today for one purpose and one purpose only: to destroy Mertle's softball team! So let's get out there and really tear up the basepads! [Stitch dashes out to the fields and starts ripping the bases apart] I didn't mean that literally, Stitch.

Jumba:
Eh, question. Once team is beaten, do losers become our servants for life?

Lilo:
What?! No!

Jumba:
Hmm, is how team sports work on my planet.

[Stitch shoves a crate on Gantu's head, causing him to drop Slugger]

Lilo:
Hey, there, little guy. We're not going to hurt you. We're here to give you a new home. But see that guy over there? [points to Gantu, who still has the crate over his head]

Gantu:
I'm going to vaporize you, trog, just as soon as I can see you!

[Slugger nods while snorting]

Lilo:
Well, if you come with us, we'll keep you safe from him. Okay? [holds Slugger's hand]

[Stitch tests out Slugger's batting skills by throwing avocados at him]

Lilo:
Coconuts, avocados, wow he really likes to bat things around.

[Slugger accidentally splats and avocado on a picture, which Stitch licks clean]

Stitch:
Mmmm, guacamole!

Jumba:
Experiment 608 will swat at many different things. In addition to deflecting airborne projectiles launched at enemies, he is also programmed to swat away balls, toys and fruit thrown over fence by annoying neighbor children.

Lilo:
He hits balls? Tomorrow, Lilo's Lasers hit the practice field! We're gonna beat Mertle's team yet!

Pleakley:
Ooh, for the rematch, will we be the home team or the away team? Because according to my research, the home team wears a white uniform while the...

Lilo:
Uh... You know what, Pleakley? It's just practice. And you're so good already, that you don't have to come.

Pleakley:
[hurt] Oh, okay, thanks.

[Mertle agrees to give Gantu Slugger in exchange for him being in her team]

Mertle:
Hey, Weirdlo! Ready to meet your doom?

Gantu:
We're going to destroy you.

Lilo:
You're cheating! You put Gantu on your team!

Mertle:
So? You have a new player, too!

Lilo:
It's not the same.

Mertle:
You're just scared!

Lilo:
I'm not scared!

Mertle:
Then let's sweeten the bet: Whoever wins, gets him! [points to Slugger]

Lilo:
Slugger?! I bet I know whose idea that is. [looks up at Gantu, chuckling evilly] You're on! I'll even have you first at bat.

Mertle:
Who said we were playing baseball? I thought we'd play basketball this time.

Lilo:
What?!

Mertle:
You did say any time, any place, any game!

Lilo:
I... I did?!

Stitch:
Ih. You did.

Lilo:
But I... I didn't mean to!

[Lilo's Lasers had thanks to Pleakley's amazing basketball skills]

Lilo:
Pleakley, I just wanna say thanks for being loyal to me. It made me realize I should've support you when you were on my baseball team.

Pleakley:
Oh, I don't blame you one little bit. I was awful at baseball!

Lilo:
It doesn't matter. Loyalty to your friends is way more important than winning. It's even more important than a stack of Elvis records.

Pleakley:
Please, I'm getting all teary.

Lilo:
You didn't tell us you can play B-ball though.

Pleakley:
It turns out that Earth basketball is is virtually identical to Priznolaprack on my home planet. I was a four-time Priznolaprack grand champion.

Lilo:
Well, thanks to you, we got to keep Slugger, and help him find his one true place.

[Lilo shows how Slugger is helping the softball coach show the kids how to bat]

[Hämsterviel contacts Gantu while he is playing with this bath toys]

Hämsterviel:
Gantu!

Gantu:
Doctor Hämsterviel! I was just practicing my tactical maneuvers.

Hämsterviel:
I do not care about you plastic amusements! It is your failures at capturing my experiments that sickens me to the bone!

Gantu:
But, sir, it's not my fault. It's that abomination 626 and that young female Earth form...

Hämsterviel:
SIIIIIILLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNCE!!! You're good at nothing but the pathetic excuses. That is why I am giving you job to someone infinitely more competent!

Gantu:
More competent?! But, I...

Hämsterviel:
You failed me, Gantu! As of this moment, you are fired!

Gantu:
But... You can't fire me!

625:
Ouch, hurts to be you. Listen, a word of advice: Before you go looking for a new job, put on some pants.

[Gantu smashes his bath toys in rage]

[Lilo and Stitch are playing checkers]

Nani:
LLLLLIIIIILLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Lilo:
Uh-oh. Nanisaurus Rex is on the rampage again.

Nani:
Look at these bills! $20 to fix the window Stitch broke, $60 for the new door for the refrigerator, $200 for Mr. Koakini's broken gas grill?!

Lilo:
It was an emergency gas grilling situation. And we caught the experiment.

Nani:
That's great, honey, but that's not gonna pay these bills. And that means no hula lessons this month.

Lilo:
But I need my hula lessons. For self-esteen, personal growth, and development. See? [gestures to her trophy, which is broken in two] I--

Nani:
Oh, no! He even broke...

Lilo:
My hula trophy.

[Stitch uses his saliva to try to glue the pieces back together, but they immediately fell off]

[Pleakley has just finished with his plan to make money in order to pay the bills]

Pleakley:
And now, the moment we've all been waiting for. The money-making miracle of the ages! [pulls off the tarp to reveal a lemonade stand sign] Ta-da...lemonade!

Lilo:
That's it? That's your big idea? A lemonade stand?

Pleakley:
Lemonade stands appear on all your Earth cartoons, and every situation comedy ever written. It's brilliant! Cliche but brilliant! What do you think? [Lilo leaves] Lilo?

[Hämsterviel captures Stitch and reverts him to his original evil programming; Gantu enters]

Gantu:
Hello, I'm here about the ad for aliens. I'm an alien.

Professor:
You're a fired alien! That's what you are!

Gantu:
Fired?! What, how would you-- [Hämsterviel pops out of the Professor disguise] Dr. Hämsterviel?! You're suppose to be in prison!

Hämsterviel:
Three-day furlough! Just enough time to hire a new assistant! [points to Stitch]

Gantu:
The abomination!

Hämsterviel:
Yes! With 626's destructive programming in place, he will help me capture the other experiments! You will not! Goodbye! [the door quickly shuts]

Gantu:
But...

[the door opens quickly and Hämsterviel snatches Gantu's flyer]

Hämsterviel:
Give me that! I recycle! [slams the door again]

[Stitch tricks Hämsterviel by smashing a floorboard on his disguise]

Stitch:
Stitch good?

Lilo:
Very good! Even without the water bottle of karmic cleansing.

[Lilo and Stitch return home]

Stitch:
[pulls out Lilo's fixed hula trophy] Agata!

Lilo:
You fixed it! I think it looks better this way.

Nani:
Lilo, I'm home!

Lilo:
Stitch fixed my hula trophy! And this time he used real glue.

Nani:
Why, thank you, Stitch. Looks like that Zen of Dog Training really paid off.

Lilo:
Not really. He found the path of goodness all by himself.

[a shatter sound is heard; Nani looks in the living room to find it a total mess]

Nani:
What happened?!

Lilo:
Um, the path kinda went through the living room. We had a little trouble finding the glue.

[Nani faints; Stitch laughs]

[Jumba has Pleakley do his paperwork while he goes surfing with David]

Jumba:
This is lucky day for you, my one-eyed friend.

Pleakley:
Ooh! Is today the once-a-year sale in Tessy's Dressies?

Jumba:
No. I have decided to promote you to assistant evil genius!

Pleakley:
I wasn't aware I was even in the chain of command! What exactly does the position entail?

Jumba:
Little girl recovered new experiment pods. They need to be identified, registered, labeled, and categorized.

Pleakley:
Eh... how much did you say this evil genius stuff pays?

Jumba:
For you, zero, but looks very good on resume.

[Gantu and 625 are fast asleep]

Computer:
Warning. Experiment 360 activated. Primary function: sleep inducer.

Gantu:
[covers the computer with a pillow] Just five more minutes, mother.

Hämsterviel:
WAKE UP, YOU SQUID-LIP EXCUSE FOR A MOLLUSK!! A pod has been activated!

Gantu:
But sir, it's the middle of the nocturnal Earth cycle.

Hämsterviel:
Shh! Do you hear that? It's the sound of... I DON'T CARE!!! I got big plans for tomorrow, so there is no time for beauty sleep!

625:
[yawns] Too bad, he really needs it.

Gantu:
What big plans, sir?

Hämsterviel:
I have been monitoring Earth's television transmissions for over a month. And I believe I've identified the most powerful, influential human on the planet! He is always on the TV, obviously using mind control to mesmerize the Earthlings! And in two days time, you are going to capture him for me! [laughs maniacally]

Gantu:
Really? Who? How?

Hämsterviel:
Just bring the new experiment!

[Stitch uses Drowsy to help Lilo fall asleep, but now Lilo can't wake up; Stitch puts sunglasses on Lilo and uses her sleeping body as a puppet to do her errands]

Pleakley:
Ah, Lilo! Just in time for some processed grain with dehydrated fruity bits.

Stitch:
[imitates Lilo] Uh, not for me. Stitch. [normal voice] Naga. Naga ti chita. [imitates Lilo] Okay! Um... bye! [drags Lilo to Mrs. Hasagawa's fruit stand]

Jumba:
WHERE IS EXPERIMENT 360?!?

Pleakley:
I don't know!

Jumba:
What?! It didn't just get up and walk away!

[they both see Drowsy walking past them with a blanket covering himself]

Pleakley:
Eh, I should use less starch in the laundry?

Jumba:
Is not laundry! Is my experiment!

[after Stitch successfully uses Lilo as a puppet to perform her hula dance]

Mertle:
That was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

Mr. Jameson:
That was the most incredible thing I've ever seen! Unique! Daring! Original! You're Nani's sister, aren't you? [hands Stitch a card] I could use your help. A very important guest is coming here tomorrow, and I'd like you to be our aloha greeter at the airport.

Stitch:
But--

Mr. Jameson:
I will not take no for an answer! I'm gonna be late for the meeting! Here's the info, good luck!

Stitch:
Oh, shoota!

[after Lilo wakes up thanks to Jumba, she and Stitch tries to protect Regis Philbin from Gantu and 625]

Regis Philbin:
I think I've figured out what's going on.

Lilo:
[nervously] Wh-what do you mean?

Regis Philbin:
I'm not completely oblivious, you know. You and Stitch have been protecting from autograph hunters ever since I got here.

Lilo:
We?! Oh, drat! You've figured it out! Well, there's one other Hawaiian tradition we haven't told you about: Hanai.

Regis Philbin:
Hanai? What's that?

Lilo:
It's when you welcome a stranger into your home. My house is not as nice as this hotel, but no one will think to look for you there.

Regis Philbin:
Okay! Just one condition: you get some rest, too. You've been working too hard.

Lilo:
It's a deal! In fact, I think it's time everyone had a good snooze. Me, Pleakley, Nani, Jumba... [Stitch yawns and lies down on the floor] ...and Drowsy here can help.