Lost, Season 3

Ben Linus:
[Sees that Juliet holding the book, Carrie] So I guess I'm out of the book club.

Juliet Burke:
What do you do, Jack? What's your profession?

Jack Shephard:
I'm a repo man. You know, when people don't pay their bills I go into the bank and collect their possessions. I'm a people person so I really love it.

Juliet Burke:
Are you married?

Jack Shephard:
No. I never saw the point. What about you? What's your job, besides making sandwiches?

Juliet Burke:
Oh, I didn't make it. I just put the toothpicks in.

Jack Shephard:
So, you're a doctor, huh?

Juliet Burke:
No, I'm a repo woman.

Tom Friendly:
Hey, you got yourself a fish biscuit! How'd you do that?

James "Sawyer" Ford:
Figured out your complicated gizmos, thats how.

Tom Friendly:
It only took the bears two hours.

[Sawyer contemplates briefly]

James "Sawyer" Ford:
How many of 'em were there?

Juliet Burke:
It doesn't matter who we were. It only matters who we are.

Danny Pickett:
Alright, here's the jig - see these rocks, here? That's where you two come in. [points to Kate] You're going to chop them loose. [points to Sawyer] And you're going to haul them out of here.

Kate Austen:
You expect me to work in this dress?

Danny Pickett:
Well, it's up to you. You can take it off if you want.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
[to Pickett, unconvincingly] How dare you?

Danny Pickett:
If you need anything, you raise your hand. You get 10 minutes for lunch.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
I got a question, boss.

Danny Pickett:
[irritated] No questions.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
She got to ask a question.

Danny Pickett:
If you try to run off, you will be shocked.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
Shot?! We don't even get a warning?

Danny Pickett:
Shocked. I said, shocked. If you talk to each other you're going to be shocked. If you touch each other, you're going to be shocked. If you're slacking, you're going to get shocked. Matter of fact, if you do anything at all that pisses me off, you're going to get shocked. Okay? Let's get to work.

Kate Austen:
I'm not doing anything until I see Jack.

[Pickett walks toward her, then turns and shocks Sawyer with a taser. Sawyer falls to the ground in pain]

Danny Pickett:
Now, that was a quarter charge. You got anymore questions? [yanks Sawyer's head back by the hair] As soon as you're able to walk -- the wheelbarrow's right over there.

Sun Hwa-Kwon:
We... can start a new life. We'll go away.

Jin Soo-Kwon:
A new life? If we run away, your father would...]

Sun Hwa-Kwon:
He won't know where we are. And you won't have to do this anymore -- you won't have to-

Jin Soo-Kwon:
[striking the table] I do this for you, Sun! I do this because your father expects it. I do this because that's what it takes to be married to you!

Sun Hwa-Kwon:
And what does it take to be married to you?

Colleen Pickett:
[to Sun] We are not the enemy. But if you shoot me, that's exactly what we'll become.

Kate Austen:
Why'd she call you James?

James "Sawyer" Ford:
Because that's my name. I noticed something else, too. You taste like strawberries.

Kate Austen:
You taste like fish biscuits.

Ben Linus:
Your flight crashed on September 22 2004. Today is November 29. That means you've been on our island for 69 days, and, yes, we do have contact with the outside world, Jack. That's how we know that, during those 69 days, your fellow Americans re-elected George W. Bush, Christopher Reeve has passed away. Boston Red Sox won the World Series.

[Jack starts to laugh]

Ben Linus:
What?

Jack Shephard:
[still laughing] If you wanted me to believe this, you probably should've picked somebody else, besides the Red Sox.

Ben Linus:
No, they were down, three games to none, against the Yankees in the league championship, and then they won eight straight.

Jack Shephard:
Sure, sure, of course they did.

[Ben turns on a video of Game 4 of the World Series, in the bottom of the ninth.]

Joe Buck:
...back to Foulke...Red Sox fans have longed to hear it! The Boston Red Sox are world champions! [Jack gets up, moves towards the glass screen, stops laughing and appears lost for words] The Red Sox celebrate in the middle of the diamond...

Ben Linus:
[turns off video] That's home, Jack, right there, on the other side of that glass, and if you listen to me, you trust me, if you do what I tell you, when the time comes, I'll take you there. I will take you home.

Charlie Pace:
[to Locke] So, where are Eko and Desmond? Are they off being mute and building structures as well?

Charlie Pace:
You're not taking drugs are you, John? I only ask because of the strict zero tolerance policy you've enacted, and I wouldn't want you to have to start punching yourself in the face.

Charlie Pace:
You know, when I used to get high, I'd watch nature programs on the Beeb. Polar bears are meant to be quite clever. Very clever. They're like the Einsteins of the bear community.

Charlie Pace:
Hairspray? Now, I hate to be the one to point this out to you--

John Locke:
[smiling] It's not for me.

Juliet Burke:
[about Ben] We make decisions together.

Jack Shephard:
Really? Because when I was holding that broken plate at your neck he seemed happy to just let you die. I mean, it felt like he made that decision on his own.

Juliet Burke:
You don't know what you're talking about. I don't answer to him.

[Ben enters]

Ben Linus:
Juliet, I need you.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
Sound a little stuffy there, Chinatown. You need to blow your nose?

Danny Pickett:
Just give me an excuse.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
I thought I just did. What do I got to do -- talk about your mother?

Ben Linus:
God, I hate needles.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
Damn it, Freckles, go. Every man for himself.

Kate Austen:
Live together, die alone.

Ben Linus:
You work so hard to make her think you don't care -- that you don't need her, but, "A guy goes nuts if he ain't got nobody. It don't make no difference who the guy is, long as he's with you. I tell you, I tell you a guy gets too lonely and he gets sick."

James "Sawyer" Ford:
What the hell are you talking about?

Ben Linus:
It's from Of Mice and Men. Don't you read?

Ben Linus:
I was hoping you might join me for a walk.

[Jack laughs]

Ben Linus:
What?

Jack Shephard:
Well, you say that like...you're not going to just throw a bag over my head and drag me out of here if I say no.

Ben Linus:
Then don't say no.

Ben Linus:
Do you believe in God, Jack?

Jack Shephard:
Do you?

Ben Linus:
Two days after I found out I had a fatal tumor on my spine, a spinal surgeon fell out of the sky. And if that's not proof of God, I don't know what is.

[about the monster]

John Locke:
I saw it once, you know.

Mr. Eko:
And what did you see?

John Locke:
I saw a very bright light. It was beautiful.

Mr. Eko:
That is not what I saw.

Mr. Eko:
[to Emeka] You do not know who I am!

The Man in Black:
[as Yemi] Are you ready, Eko?

Mr. Eko:
Yes. I am ready, Yemi. [pulls out his cross] I ask for no forgiveness, Father. For I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. A small boy once asked me if I was a bad man. If I could answer him now, I would tell him that... when I was a young boy, I killed a man to save my brother's life. I am not sorry for this. I am proud of this. I did not ask for the life that I was given. But it was given, nonetheless. And with it... I did my best.

The Man in Black:
[as Yemi] You speak to me as if I were your brother.

Mr. Eko:
[realizing] Who are you?

Jack Shephard:
You needed to be in surgery yesterday.

Ben Linus:
Alright, then. Whatever you need, it's yours. I'm ready.

Jack Shephard:
[Laughing] No, I think you misunderstood me. I didn't say I was gonna do it. I just wanted you to understand how you're gonna die. You think I believe you people? You think I trust you? That I'm just going to do the surgery, and HOPE that you let me go?!

Edward Mars:
I realized this morning that it was the Feast of the Assumption and I was feeling bad. How many holy days have come and gone since you last called? I thought you and I were friends?

Kate Austen:
I don't want to run anymore.

Edward Mars:
What's his name? [beat] Does he know who you are?

Kate Austen:
Edward, please. I know you don't want to spend the rest of your life chasing me. Please, I love this guy. Just let me go.

Edward Mars:
I'll tell you what. If you can really stay put? Really settle down? Then I'll stop chasing you. But you and I both know that's not gonna happen.

Danny Pickett:
Let's go.

Jason:
Ben's just gone into surgery.

Danny Pickett:
Ben just put his life in the hands of one of them! Shephard wasn't even on Jacob's list.

[Something goes wrong during surgery]

Ivan:
His blood pressure's dropping. He shouldn't be bleeding like that.

Jack:
No, he shouldn't. [Punches out Ivan]

Jack Shephard:
[to Kate] Kate, dammit, RUN!

Rachel Carlson:
Oh, I fell asleep.

Juliet Burke:
With candles burning -- it's real safe.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
This a hobby of yours, Underdog -- digging holes?

Alex Rousseau:
Yep. That and basket weaving. Want one?

Juliet Burke:
[to Richard] Whatever you think I am, I'm not. I'm not a leader, Mr. Alpert. I'm a mess.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
[to Aldo] Don't get mad at me just because you were dumb enough to fall for the old Wookiee prisoner gag.

Edmund Burke:
[on mobile phone] Because you're insufferable. And you're mean. Well, you asked me for the truth, Mom, and that's the truth.

Charlie Pace:
[calling after Desmond] Hey, how did you know? How did you know she was drowning?!

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:
I'll tell you how he knew -- that guy sees the future, dude.

Charles Widmore:
[showing Desmond a whiskey bottle] This is a 60 year MacCutcheon, named after Anderson MacCutcheon, esteemed Admiral from the Royal Navy. He retired with more medals than any man before or since -- moved to the highlands to see out his remaining years. Admiral MacCutcheon was a great man, Hume. This was his crowning achievement. [pours some into a glass] This swallow is worth more than you could make in a month. [drinks the whiskey] To share it with you would be a waste, and a disgrace to the great man who made it -- because you, Hume, will never be a great man.

Desmond Hume:
Mr. Widmore, I know I'm not -

Charles Widmore:
What you're not, is worthy of drinking my whiskey. How could you ever be worthy of my daughter?

Eloise Hawking:
This is wrong. You don't buy the ring. You have second thoughts; you walk right out that door. So, come on, let's have it.

Desmond Hume:
I don't know what you're on about.

Ms. Hawking:
You don't buy the ring, Desmond.

Desmond Hume:
How do you know my name?

Eloise Hawking:
Well, I know your name as well as I know that you that don't ask Penny to marry you. In fact, you break her heart. Well, breaking her heart is, of course, what drives you in a few short years from now to enter that sailing race, to prove her father wrong, which brings you to the island where you spend the next 3 years of your life entering numbers into the computer until you are forced to turn that failsafe key. And if you don't do those things, Desmond David Hume, every single one of us is dead. So give me that sodding ring!

[a man Ms. Hawking pointed out to Desmond has just been killed by scaffolding]

Desmond Hume:
Oh, my God. You knew that was going to happen, didn't you? [she nods] Then why didn't you stop it? Why didn't you do anything?

Eloise Hawking:
Because it wouldn't matter. Had I warned him about the scaffolding tomorrow he'd be hit by a taxi. If I warned him about the taxi, he'd fall in the shower and break his neck. The universe, unfortunately, has a way of course correcting. That man was supposed to die. That was his path just as it's your path to go to the island. You don't do it because you choose to, Desmond. You do it because you're supposed to.

Tom Friendly:
What kind of people do you think we are, Jack?

Jack Shephard:
Oh, I don't know, Tom -- the kind of people that would take a pregnant woman -- that would hang Charlie from a tree -- would drag our people out of the jungle -- would kidnap children. That's the kind of people I think you are.

Tom Friendly:
[tapping the glass] You see this glass house you're living in, Jack? How about I get you some stones?

Jack Shephard:
Who's that woman?

Tom Friendly:
That'd be the sheriff.

Jack Shephard:
You have a sheriff?

Tom Friendly:
[exasperated] Not literally, Jack.

Jack Shephard:
I'd be more impressed with you people if you had a good surgeon.

Ben Linus:
We had an excellent surgeon, Jack. His name was Ethan.

David Reyes:
Having hope is never stupid. You've got to believe good things will happen and then they will.

Charlie Pace:
Yeah, chase the dog with the skeletal arm into the creepy jungle. You be my guest.

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:
I'll give you a thousand dollars right now if admit that my dad told you to say this stuff.

Lynn Karnoff:
The mystic arts are not subject to bribes. How dare you!

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:
10,000.

Lynn Karnoff:
Your dad put me up to it.

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:
Let's look death in the face and say, "whatever, man."

James "Sawyer" Ford:
What's your problem, Jumbotron?

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:
Shut up! Red -- neck -- man.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
Touché.

Mikhail Bakunin:
I grew up in Kiev and joined the Soviet Army. I was stationed at a listening post at Vladivostok. After the Cold War, after we lost the Cold War, my unit was decommissioned. I was dismissed from my life in the military. And after years of conducting unpleasant actions against our enemies, I found myself wanting to do something good. So I replied to a newspaper advertisement.

Sayid Jarrah:
An advertisement?

Mikhail Bakunin:
'Would you like to save the world?' it read. That's how I met them, the Initiative. They're very secretive, very rich, very smart.

Sayid Jarrah:
So, when did you come to the island?

Mikhail Bakunin:
11 years now. I like computers, communications equipment, being alone like a lighthouse keeper. So they put me in this station. They called it The Flame.

[Kate and Sayid are inside the Flame station with Mikhail, who claims to be a member of the DHARMA Initiative; Mikhail is sewing Sayid's bullet injury and the cat is scratching the carpet]

Mikhail Bakunin:
Будьте вежливы, они - мои гости, Надия.

Sayid Jarrah:
What did you just say?

Mikhail Bakunin:
I told Nadia to be polite, because you are my guests.

Sayid Jarrah:
Nadia?

Mikhail Bakunin:
After Nadia Comaneci. The greatest athlete the world has even known. We have the same birth date.

Mikhail Bakunin:
Why are we continuing to play this little game when we all know it has moved to the next stage?

Amira:
After my husband and I first arrived to Paris, I was afraid to ever leave our apartment. So I would stare out in the window into the alley, and I would see this cat looking for scraps. One day some children came into the alley and trapped him in a box. I watched them light firecrackers and drop them in the box. I could hear him howl from three stories above. So finally, I had a reason to leave my apartment. I rescued this cat and I brought him home. He sits with me when I read, sleeps with me, and he purrs. But, every once in a while, he will bite me or scratch me. He does this because sometimes he forgets that he is safe now. So I forgive him when he bites me, because I remember what it is like to never feel safe. And that is because of you. So today, I ask only one thing of you: I ask you now to show me the respect by acknowledging what you did to me. That it was you who questioned me, tortured me and that you remember me.

Sayid Jarrah:
I remember you. I remember your face. Your face has haunted me ever since I left Iraq. [crying] I am sorry. I am so sorry for what I did to you. I am sorry.

Amira:
I forgive you. When my husband returns, I will tell I made a terrible mistake, that it was not you, and he will release you.

Sayid Jarrah:
Why? Why are you letting me go?

Amira:
We are all capable of doing what those children did to this cat. But I will not do that. I will not be that.

[Kate, Sayid, and Locke are holding Mikhail prisoner]

John Locke:
Remind me why we're keeping him alive.

Sayid Jarrah:
What do you suggest? That we shoot him like a dog?

John Locke:
No. I like dogs.

Kate Austen:
Can I ask you something? I told you that your daughter was living with them, and you haven’t asked me a single question about her, you haven't—

Danielle Rousseau:
Your friend, Jack. Do you care about him?

Kate Austen:
Yes.

Danielle Rousseau:
Imagine 16 years from now, you're told he's still alive, but in your heart, you know that he wouldn't remember you. He wouldn’t know you. He wouldn't even know that you ever cared about him. I haven't asked you questions about my daughter because I do not want to know the answers.

Mikhail Bakunin:
I will try to make this as simple as I can. You are not on the list because you are flawed. Because you are angry, and weak, and frightened.

John Locke:
The man from Tallahassee? What is that? Some kind of code?

Ben Linus:
No, John, unfortunately we don't have a code for "There's a man in my closet with a gun to my daughter's head." Although we obviously should.

John Locke:
Where do you get electricity?

Ben Linus:
We have two giant hamsters running in a massive wheel at our secret underground lair.

Ben Linus:
Why are you so angry, John?

John Locke:
Because you're cheating! You and your people communicate with the outside world whenever you want to, you... you come and go as you please... you use electricity and running water and guns... You're a hypocrite! A pharisee. You don't deserve to be on this island. If you had any idea what this place really was... you wouldn't be putting chicken in your refrigerator!

Ben Linus:
You've been here 80 days, John. I've been here my entire life! So how is it that you think you know this island better than I do?

John Locke:
Because you're in the wheelchair, and I'm not.

Anthony Cooper:
I'm a con man, not a murderer.

Ben Linus:
When I asked you earlier if it hurt when you suffered your injury, I think you misunderstood me. Seems fairly obvious that when a person's back smashes into a hard surface after being thrown from a building, that that's going to sting a little. But I really wasn't asking about the physical pain.

John Locke:
What, do you want to know if it hurt my feelings?

Ben Linus:
No, John. I wanted to know what it felt like when your own father tried to kill you.

[Nikki's character Corvette in the TV show Exposé has been shot]

Howard Zukerman:
Brilliant, Nikki. As always. You know, you don't need to die. We can bring you back next season.

Nikki Fernandez:
[laughs] How?

Howard Zukerman:
Well, let's say that, uh, Corvette was wearing a bullet-proof vest?

[Nikki briefly opens her gown, revealing her character's skimpy costume]

Howard Zukerman:
Bullet-proof breast!

Nikki Fernandez:
Look, I'm just a guest star, and we all know what happens to guest stars.

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:
Dude... Nikki's dead.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
... Who the hell's Nikki?

Nikki Fernandez:
[finding Zukerman's diamonds] Razzle-frickin'-dazzle.

Paulo:
Are you sure we should be listening to a high school science teacher?

Nikki Fernandez:
Junior high, and yes. What's your problem with Leslie anyway?

Paulo:
Leslie?

Nikki Fernandez:
Oh ho, you're jealous!

Paulo:
Of him? Ha, never.

Nikki Fernandez:
Yeah, his spiders turn me on so much, I had to sleep with him to get the map.

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:
[at Nikki and Paulo's funeral] Nikki and Paulo. I guess we didn't really know you very well. And it appears, you killed each other for diamonds.

Kate Austen:
[to Juliet] Welcome to the wonderful world of not knowing what the hell's going on.

Juliet Burke:
Oh if you don't believe me, you can always pull my other shoulder out of its socket.

Kate Austen:
I was, I wasn't trying to...

Juliet Burke:
Don't flatter yourself. This is the fourth time its been dislocated.

Kate Austen:
Jack told me not to come back to protect me! Because he didn't want me to get hurt!

Juliet Burke:
Is that what you think?

Kate Austen:
Yeah, that's what I think!

Juliet Burke:
We have cameras on the cages, Kate. All of them. He saw you. You and Sawyer. The reason Jack told you not to come back wasn't because he didn't want you to get hurt. It was because you broke his heart. So. Grab my wrist. Push up. And twist!

Juliet Burke:
[to Kate] They left me behind too, they gassed me! I know that you don't care, but the people I spent the last three years of my life with, they just left me! I thought that maybe, maybe if I could make you think that we were in it together. Maybe I wouldn't get left behind again.

[Sawyer has just realized that Hurley has tricked him into being nice by telling him the survivors were voting to banish him]

James "Sawyer" Ford:
You son of a bitch. There wasn't ever going to be no vote.

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:
Wasn't it nice, being nice?

James "Sawyer" Ford:
You tricked me into being decent? That's gotta be the lamest con in the history of cons!

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:
Wasn't a con, dude. If you're going to be our temporary leader you need to do some damage control.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
Leader? What the hell are you smoking?

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:
Jack's gone, Locke's gone, Kate and Sayid...you're all we got. Paulo and Nikki died. We all look to you. Then again, you tried to steal their diamonds, but we wanted to look to you. Look around. You made everyone happy. Just for today, they can eat boar, laugh, and forget that they're totally screwed. And you did that for 'em, dude. You.

James "Sawyer" Ford:
What if I don't want to be the leader?

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:
Yeah, well, I don't think Jack wanted it either. Sucks for you, dude.

Richard Alpert:
[to Juliet] Let me ask you something, Juliet. You took a woman, your own sister. Whose reproductive system was ravaged by chemotherapy, who was sterile. And you made her pregnant. You created life where life wasn't supposed to be. That's a gift, Juliet. You have a gift. And don't you think you're meant to do something significant with it? Where we're going, you can do just that.

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes:
I don't remember you from the dock. Where you put bags on our heads. After you shocked us.

Juliet Burke:
I had the day off.

Juliet Burke:
If you can cure cancer Ben, then why do you have it?

Ben Linus:
I don't know.

[Juliet suddenly smacks Ben's glass of water from his hand and advances on him]

Juliet Burke:
I want to talk to her. I want to talk to Rachel, I want to talk to her, now!

Ben Linus:
It's not going to happen Juliet, but I can promise you that Rachel is fine.

Juliet Burke:
You never cured her!

Ben Linus:
I did!

Juliet Burke:
You're a liar!

Ben Linus:
No, Juliet—

Juliet Burke:
[yelling] You lied to me!

Ben Linus:
I told you the truth!

[Juliet stands, holding back tears]

Ben Linus:
I gave you my word.

Juliet Burke:
[beginning to cry and leaning on Ben] I know. I wanna go home. I wanna go home, Ben, please. Can't you please just let me go home?

Ben Linus:
[beat] No.

Juliet Burke:
I'm curious, Sayid... How long was it before you told everyone on that beach exactly how many people you've tortured in your life? Do they know about Basra? And I'm sure the first thing you did when you got here, James, was to gather everyone in a circle and tell them about the man you shot in cold blood the night before you got on the plane. So why don't we just skip the part where you two pretend to be righteous? I'm taking that medication back to Claire and you're gonna let me. Because, if she doesn't get it, she's gonna die. And the last thing that either of you need right now is more blood on your hands.