Minoriteam

The Standardized Test:
1 Mexican takes 2 hours to wash 500 dishes, and a chinaman takes 3 hours to wash 450 dishes. How long will they take, working together, to wash 1000 dishes?

Dr. Wang:
Zero hour. Mexican work for chinese, not with.

White Shadow:
Jefferson is a star in the black community. A star that burns too bright! A star that we must extinguish!

Jewcano:
Hmm, something is just not right about this.

Fasto:
I know what you mean. My cracker-sense is tingling.

Nonstop:
Uh, isn't that just a microwave?

Boneologist:
No. It's a Pilgrim Bone testing-apparatus.

El Jefe:
I can't fight . . . my father!

[After El Jefe tells the story of his viking ancestor getting married]

Dr. Wang:
Okay thank you! I take a rain check on the story of how your grandma was a slut!

Master Shake Alarm Clock:
[singing] It's 4:20 somewhere in the world! Time to get up you lazy bastard!

Landon:
As a professor of women studies, I don't tolerate the use of the word bitch... (Kicks Assimilator in the face)BITCH!

El Jefe:
[in Spanish] Thanks for finally haring your tea with us DR. Wang.

Nonstop:
Yes, thank you Dr. Wang. It is delicious.

Dr. Wang:
Drink it up, very good. I bet you can feel yourselves getting smarter. Well guess what smart guy! YOUR DRINKING MY PISS! [everyone starts spitting the tea out] And it's not the first time, endscene!