NCIS: Los Angeles

Vance:
(Over the MTAC feed) You tell Gibbs to call me when he arrives.

Macy:
You can tell him yourself.

(Gibbs enters)

Vance:
Gibbs.

Gibbs:
Hello, Director Vance.

Vance:
I know how excited you two are about working together. I told Sec Nav I have my best people on this case. A lot of nervous people at the Pentagon. Don't make me come out there.

Nate:
(referring to Gibbs) You should have slept with him way back then. Whenever then was. I was probably in Elementary School, yeah?

Macy:
How do you know I didn't?

Nate:
I can tell you right now...

Macy:
Don't answer that!

Nate:
Okay. Cool.

Macy:
You scare me.

Nate:
Yep.

Macy:
Leave.

Callen:
Is there a reason we're not meeting in a bar right now?

Gibbs:
Well, yeah. It's 10 o'clock in the morning.

Callen:
I don't know what's worse: getting older or getting wiser.

Macy:
Why do you want to know?

Callen:
Just looking out for my family

Macy:
G, you don't have any family.

Callen:
That's cold, Mace!

Macy:
But true.

Callen:
Gibbs is family... you, too.

Callen:
I'll just ask Gibbs about what happened.

Macy:
Yeah, let me know if you do... I want to be there to see him sit you on your ass.

McGee:
(after Sam sends Abby a photo using a giant touch screen) Oh, I really gotta get one of these.

Sam:
...You got problems.

Nate:
It's called a legend. It's a word coined by the Stasi, the East German Secret Police, during the Cold War. Now, their idea was to create a cover so deep it could stand up to any scrutiny: passports, documents, work papers, even family histories, and none of it true. All a... a legend.

Macy:
As I'm sure you're aware, foreign intelligence agencies are not authorized to act within US territorial borders. I would hate for your actions to cause an incident by staying here any longer, Rivkin.

Rivkin:
We each have our job to do.

Macy:
Yours is done. Go home.

Nate:
You worked a case together?

Macy:
You could say that. It was a JAG-MAN investigation. A murder. I was the lead investigator.

Nate:
And Gibbs?

Macy:
Gibbs was the suspect.

Eric:
Every phone call, credit card transaction, internet search, all swallowed up and stored on hard drives so people can troll them for personal information.

McGee:
You mean like we're doing now?

Eric:
Yeah, that's okay 'cause we work for the government. Got a National Security letter to prove it!

Gibbs:
Whose boat is this?

Renko:
I have no idea.

Gibbs:
Hey! Sand with the grain, Renko!

Renko:
You've done this before?

Gibbs:
[chuckles] Yeah.

Sam:
You think she's involved?

Callen:
They were sleeping together. She's involved, whether she knows it or not.

Sam:
Yeah...

[As they walk into the squad room]

McGee:
Tony, I am not arguing with you.

Tony:
You're arguing now.

McGee:
No I'm not.

Tony:
Yes, you are.

McGee:
This is not an argument.

Tony:
Yes it is.

McGee:
(exasperated) No, it's not.

Tony:
Yes. It is. (phone rings) Hold on a second...

[Tony proceeds to answer Ziva's phone for her]

[...]

Tony:
(wanders to McGee's desk) What were we arguing about before?

McGee:
(gives him a look) We were not arguing.

Tony:
Oh that. Yes we were.

McGee:
Do you understand that that's what we were arguing about? The fact that you will argue about the least little thing. Sometimes you will argue about nothing at all... you just want to argue.

Tony:
That's not arguing, McContrary. C'mon. Have a little insight. It's called 'banter'.

McGee:
No, it is not. 'Banter' is light-hearted, witty repartee.

Tony:
(grins) Go onnn...

McGee:
(looks annoyed for a moment, then gives up and smirks) It's your turn to get the coffee. Go.

Tony:
Long distance can be hard. Telefriend from Tel Aviv?

Ziva:
You're jealous.

Tony:
I'm not jealous.

Ziva:
Yes, you are.

Tony:
No, I'm not. I'm not arguing, boss.

McGee:
Are too!

Tony:
Am not!

Tony:
He got a name?

Ziva:
Who?

Tony:
The star of David.

Ziva:
Oh, him. Yes, he has a name.

Tony:
Trevor? Bruce? Marmaduke?

Ziva:
Michael.

Tony:
Hm. He sounded more like a Bruce than a Michael on the phone.

Gibbs:
Okay, grab your toothbrush.

McGee:
Road trip?

Gibbs:
Los Angeles.

Tony:
Cali-for-ni-ay. What time do we leave?

Gibbs:
Not we. [Points to McGee]

Tony:
McGee? Not me? McGoo? You?!

Abby:
Are you going somewhere?

Gibbs:
Yeah. That's what I came down here to tell you. Los Angeles.

Abby:
Into the lionesses den?!

Gibbs:
[Kisses her cheek] I'm taking McGee.

Abby:
Gibbs. It's just... last time you guys went to L.A. one of you didn't come back.

Gibbs:
I'll bring him home, Abs. [Walks away]

Abby:
Just make sure you bring yourself back, too.

Tony:
Get any more hits on our secret thingy?

Abby:
Do you know how busy I've been?

Tony:
I know how busy you've been.

Abby:
Okay, just asking. We got one hit, but it is a doozy. Guy on the right, Michael Rivkin, our supposed Israeli banker. Guy on the left, director of Mossad, Eli David. Also known as --

Tony:
Ziva's father.

Abby:
She must know Rivkin.

Tony:
You don't ask her. You don't breathe a word of this, Abby. [Deletes file]

Abby:
Tony.

Tony:
I mean it.

Tony:
[Speaking of Abby] Ignore her, probie, she's suffering Gibbs withdrawal. Transferring it onto you because of a deep seated fear that Gibbs may withhold love and give her a first time head slap if he came back and saw his desk festooned in balloons and decorated like some tacky Tiki bar with messages of affection written possibly in blood. She ain't missin' you at all!

[At McGee's desk, Abby silently gives Tony a thumbs-up]

Ziva:
What did I miss?

Tony:
Oh, Abby playing with crayons, possibly blood; McGee calling; and I made a paper airplane that was so fantastic it broke the office gliding record. But really all the fun's happening in another area code. Are we fighting?

Ziva:
If we were you would be on the floor bleeding.

Tony:
Okay, I accept that as a likely outcome.

Tony:
He's already killed two suspects.

Ziva:
Well, in my country that would be cause for celebration!

Tony:
You're no in your country and neither is he!