Ozzy & Drix

Ozzy & Drix (2002–2004) is an American animated TV show based on the 2001 film Osmosis Jones. Picking up one year after the film, street-smart white blood Osmosis "Ozzy" Jones and his cold pill partner Drix get sucked from their host body Frank by a mosquito and end up in the body of a teenage boy named Hector Cruz. After defeating a deadly virus, they both got jobs as private investigators and vow to help Hector keep healthy and guide him through the trials of adolescence.

[Ozzy and Drix arrive at the Mayor's office]

Ellen:
Excuse me, but are you the aliens?

Drix:
Actually, the aliens were the ones that brought us here.

Ozzy:
Well, well, well, a lady mayor. At last, a public server I can relate to.

Ellen:
[pushes Ozzy away] Cool down, blue boy. I'm your legal council, Ellen Patella. [shows Ozzy her card] I brought some papers for you to sign. Now, if we work fast, maybe I can get you spleen card.

Ozzy:
What, a spleen card?! I ain't workin' in no stinkin' speen!

Ellen:
It's either that or spit detail.

Ozzy:
Uno momento! Maybe you're not gettin' this picture. You're talkin' to Osmosis Jones here! White blood cell, police legend, and number one germinator from the City of Frank! I don't need no lawyer and no spit job! All I need's the next flight outta here!

Drix:
[sees a screen showing Hector brushing his teeth] My word, what is that?

Ellen:
That's the Eye Channel. It shows us everything what Hector sees.

Drix:
Really. What a handsome young man.

Ellen:
That's Hector Cruz.

Mrs. Cruz:
Honey, breakfast is ready!

Hector:
Be right there, Mom!

Ellen:
He's thirteen.

Drix:
No wonder the city's unpolluted.

Ozzy:
Y'know, he looks a lot like Frank when Frank was that age.

Drix:
No!

Ozzy:
Yeah! I've seen the photos in Frank's memory banks. Kinda used to be in good shape.

Drix:
What happened?

Ozzy:
Fast food, late nights, smokin'. It all started goin' downhill around this age. I mean, I was just a small blood cell back then. I didn't know what was happenin'.

Drix:
It occurs to me, Ozzy, considering our... situation and all, that perhaps we might be more useful in Hector.

Ozzy:
And what?! Start all over again?! Are those fruity bubbles backin' into your brain?!

Drix:
No, all I am saying is this could be a chance to help give someone a clean start. With our knowledge, we...

Ozzy:
Hold on.

Drix:
What?

[they turn to see Hector groaning and rubbing his head]

Ozzy:
I don't think he feels good.

[Mayor Spryman arrives with two brain advisors and Chief Gluteus]

Brain Adviser 1:
I rushed over as soon as I got the number! Sir, he's already at 98.8.

Brain Adviser 2:
Actually, .82. A small fever, but nonetheless...

Mayor Spryman:
I don't care! He's going to Jackie Desoto's party tonight, and that's that! It's Hector's first teen party, and Christine Kolchuck from French class is gonna be there.

[the Brain Advisor murmur in agreement]

Ozzy:
Are you brain cells or brain-dead cells?

Elena:
Jones...

Ozzy:
If Hector's gettin' sick, you should make him rest and drink lots of fluids, not listenin' to this fool!

Elena:
Jones! This is our mayor, Paul Spryman.

Ozzy:
[after staring at Spryman] You're pullin' my membrane!


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