Pinky and the Brain, Season 1

[After seeing on a naval chart how close their objective is]

Pinky:
Oh, look, Brain, it's so close, we'll be there before you can say "Poit!"

Brain:
We'll reach Mars before I yell "Poit!" Pinky.

Brain:
Any questions?

Pinky:
Umm. If you could be any animal, what would it be?

Brain:
Oh, I'd have to say a hawk, Pinky. So I could soar through the sky, catch little white mice in my sharp talons, and feed them to my young.

Pinky:
Eww. That's just weird, Brain.

Pinky:
[Their submarine is filling up with water.] We're gonna make it! We're gonna make it, right Brain!? BRAIN??

Brain:
POIT!

Brain:
The dark side that has created grotesque war machines, pollution-spilling factories and now, a hideous thing, that is spreading across the world, like a horrible plague: Voicemail.

Pinky:
DID YOU EVER ASK WHAT I DID TODAY?! [cries]

Pinky:
[talking like a bad English dub] Narf! Brain, Let us go and see Gollyzilla! We can watch excitedly as he crushes buildings and then flee in terror!

Brain:
[slaps him in the face] Snap out of it, Pinky!

Pinky:
[talking normally] Oh. thanks, Brain.

Pinky:
[after getting zapped by the giant ray] Narf! Where are you, Brain? I can't see you!

Brain:
I'm down…

Pinky:
[accidentally steps on him] Oh. Oh. Wait a sec, Brain. I've got some gum on my shoe. [peels Brain off his foot]

Brain:
Apparently, your IQ didn't grow along with your shoe size, Pinky.

Pinky:
You know, Brain, I've been thinking I don't want to be an elf anymore.

Brain:
What do you want to be Pinky?

Pinky:
A dentist!

Brain:
[Reading Pinky's letter to Santa] "Dear Santa, Hello, haha, narf. [Glares at a tearful Pinky before continuing] This year, Santa, I ask for nothing, but I wish to tell you about [haltingly] my dear friend, The Brain. He is honest and very hardworking, and only wants what's best for the world. But he gets no reward - he's only greeted with defeat. He never gives up, but I know it must be very hard. So please, take anything you have for me and give it to my best friend in the whole world, The Brain. [Looks sadly over at Pinky, who is crying due to not having given the letter to Santa when he had the chance] Love, Pinky. PS - By any chance, do you have in that big old bag of yours, the world?"

Pinky:
[Pinky activates the mind control device] You're on!

[Brain is too stunned to even speak]

Pinky:
You're on, Brain!

Brain:
[Still teary-eyed from Pinky's letter, composing himself] Um, ladies and gentlemen of the world, you will do as I say. For I... I command you. I command you to... [Looks over at Pinky, who is urging him on, before tearfully blurting out] Have a Merry Christmas everyone! Have a merry, merry Christmas! Joy to the world! Yes! [Breaks down sobbing]

Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain, but Snowball for Windows?

Brain:
I feel the need. I feel the need for expeditious velocity.