Rescue Me, Season 6

Needles:
In my heaven, every man that's ever done this job and laid down his life in the line of duty, like the 343 from 9/11, they get the best seats in the house.

...

Damien:
Do you believe in heaven?

Lou:
Yes, I do.

Sean:
What's heaven like for you?

Lou:
Free hot doughnuts on floating trays.

Franco:
What about hell?

Lou:
Barbra Streisand.

Sean:
Is she singing?

Lou:
No, she's not singing. She's alone. She's just there. She's just kinda loitering, and I'm burning up in flames. They're lickin' my body, and she's just standing there a couple yards away, just looking at me with that weird, crazed, kinda go-funny eye of hers just glarin' at me. For Hitler, she'd be singing.

Tommy :
Hey.

Black Shawn :
Let's go.

Tommy :
How you doing?

Black Shawn :
I'm tired, man...rough couple of days...But hey, you cured Colleen. That shit makes my load a hell of a lot easier, that's for sure. She's so of alcohol, you wave a bottle of mouth-wash in front of her, she starts making puky noises. But only downside...

Tommy :
What?

Black Shawn :
She don't forget shit no more. Gotta keep track of that.

Tommy :
Listen, she told me you beat Franco up pretty good, so...

Black Shawn :
I was motivated.

Tommy :
Yeah, but I know you were covering my ass. Don't think I don't appreciate that, thanks.

Black Shawn :
No, Tommy, look, don't thank me. You know, I feel lousy about the whole incident.

Tommy :
Why? You did what needed to be done.

Black Shawn :
Listen, man was not acting right, and yeah, he spoke out of term. But that doesn't excuse me for putting hands on him the way I did. You just don't do family like that, you know...

Tommy :
Yes, you do.

Black Shawn :
No, you don't, Tommy, you don't.

Tommy :
Let me explain something to you, okay? I come from a big Irish family. And I am telling you, when my brothers and I were growing up, if somebody stepped out of line, it was your responsibility to grab the son of a bitch and slap some sense into him, you know what I mean ? Knock him down, maybe kick him while he's down and then stand him back up again. I mean, that's what family is for, you know? That's what being a brother is all about, you know? It's because you love the guy, you know, and that's ... you're taking care of him. You did the right thing.

Black Shawn :
That was probably the most truly, wise thing you ever said to me. I mean, it involved beating the shit out of somebody, but...it was wise.

Tommy :
I'm wise in very specific areas, I guess.

Black Shawn :
So what do I do now?

Tommy :
You know, you go...you walk up to him and you act friendly and by that behaviour offering an olive branch, you know? And then, you know... let things happen as they will and if it feels organic you apologize.

Black Shawn :
Organic?

Tommy :
Did I say organic?

Black Shawn :
Sure as shit wasn't me saying it. What, you grew a va-jay-jay overnight?

Tommy :
Hey, I live with three women, what do you want me to do?

Black Shawn (laughing, turning his fist to Tommy) :
Hey man, give me a pound brother. Black Irish.

Tommy :
That's the Obama fist bump, wright? Tell you what, (turning Black Shawn's fist the other way, and doing a fist bump)turn it that way, O'Bama, it's an Irish potato. (Black Shawn laughing) How's that?

Black Shawn :
Yeah.

Tommy :
Hey, by the way...another part of Irish family wisdom. I wouldn't turn my back on Franco for at least a couple of days.

Dickie:
My name is Dick, but my first day on the job, my first call, I kid you not, a bird shits on my head. Plop.

Feinberg:
It's supposed to be good luck when that happens.

Dickie:
Hey! I'm still here, huh? 18 years up in the Bronx, 29 years down here.

Feinberg:
Listen, Dickie. You know why we're here. I wanted to...

Dickie:
I'm gonna cut you off at the pass, Sid, save us all some time. It wasn't an easy decision. We took a lot of factors into consideration.

Needles:
Okay, what sort of factors were considered?

Dickie:
Let me finish. There were three of us making final recommendations to headquarters. And I gotta tell you, as much as nobody likes to see houses closing, I think we did a goddamn good job in terms of getting rid of some, you know, overlapping services and some underperforming houses and-I gotta be honest-one or two trouble houses.

Feinberg:
I know we got a couple of bad apples. I'm not gonna deny that. But our response times are solid. Calls are up 20%. Your guys up on the West Side, they're gonna be beating their ass trying to...

Dickie:
It's done, Sid. Okay? You want to sit and talk about the old days for a couple of minutes? Please. But your house is closed, and I'm not discussing it any further.

Feinberg:
[resigned sigh] Okay.

Needles:
"Okay"? "Okay"? That's all the fight you got.

Feinberg:
I'd like to talk to Dick alone, okay?

Needles:
No, I'll talk to him. Dick, I'm not your old pal, which means I don't have to sit here and eat your shit sandwich with a big smile on my face.

Dickie:
Who is this guy?

Needles:
You know who I am. I'm one of the new guys-you know, the pseudo-chiefs you old-timers can't stand. But I got a good crew under me, and breaking us up isn't gonna do the department any goddamn good. Plus, I got a neighborhood that needs me. Now, I know City Hall needs to see some more white faces uptown before they give a shit about providing basic services...

Dickie:
Are you lecturing me, shithead? Because this is my office you're in. You don't tell me what's good for the department. You're new here. I've been FDNY almost 50 years.

Needles:
[getting up] I'll buy you a goddamn cake.

Feinberg:
Watch your tongue.

Needles:
But if the candles catch the place on fire, you better hope there's an open house nearby.

Dickie:
Get him out of here.

Feinberg:
Come on, let's go.

Needles:
I don't know if you heard, Dickie, but my boys had a bunch of saves at a school for deaf kids the other day. Yeah, they responded in their own vehicles with no tools, no bunker gear, and they got every kid out of there safely, just as your trucks were rolling up. Better late than never, huh? Maybe you should have that painted on all your vehicles from now on.

Dickie:
None of those men were authorized to report to that call.

Needles:
And none of those kids were authorized to burn to death!

Dickie:
Sid, get him out of here.

Feinberg:
Let's go.

Needles:
I don't know if you heard. We also got some video. [Pulls out a DVD in a jewel case] Pay attention. We shot this ourselves 'cause there's not a lot of news crews uptown. But it's all there-my guys responding, my guys bringing the kids out safely, your trucks arriving in what I would not call a timely fashion. [Drops the DVD on the desk] That's for you to watch and enjoy. I got other copies-for the Times, for the Post, and for the Daily News. And just in case what I'm hearing is true about print media being dead, this whole footage is getting posted on YouTube. Yeah, that's the newfangled interweb you've heard so much about. When you go home, have one of your grandkids type in "FDNY turns deaf ear to disabled children." See what comes up.

Dickie:
If you think you can come in here and push me around, pal...

Needles:
No, no, no. I don't think I can. I've seen this footage. I know I can. Feel that on your head, Dickie? You just got shit on again. [to Feinberg] Shalom.

Feinberg:
We'll talk.

[They walk out. Cut to two firetrucks backing into the house]

Needles:
I never thought I'd say this, kid.

Damien:
What's that?

Needles:
God damn, I love the Internet.