Road Rovers

[Colleen is examining her uniform.]

Colleen:
Well, I'm not too crazy about the color but I abso-bloomin'-lutely love the boots.

Blitz:
I would find great enjoyment biting them on the tushies.

Exile:
Don't be a weird boy!

The Master:
Some of you may perish.

Colleen:
Perish?

Hunter:
Whooaaaa, as- as in perish? Uh.... Check please! [Hunter runs towards the transdogmafier and tris to get into it, followed by the others]

The Master:
I definitely should have considered cats.

Hunter:
So; how do you like my driving?

Colleen:
Let me put it this way: I hope the airbags work.

Hunter:
Aww. Thanks, that's nice.

Exile:
[after the plane is shot] April Day! April Day! We are going down!

Blitz:
Don't you mean May Day?

Exile:
May, June, July, who cares?! We're in deep doggy donuts!

Colleen:
[after crashing the Street Rover] Oh, super. The airbags do work.

Colleen:
[after seeing Exile's freeze vision] Wow! I didn't know you could do that!

Exile:
Me neither. Must have contracted it during Cold War.

Parvo:
[after he discovers a bomb in the case he was given] I'm having one of those funny deja-vu feelings.

Hunter:
What are you guys looking at?

Exile:
Forest Tree Illustrated: The Giant Redwood Issue... heh.

[Shag and Exile sigh.]

Hunter:
You two definitely need a hobby.

Blitz:
Okay, so when do I get a chance at the controls?

Colleen:
Oh sorry. I didn't see you sitting there. I'm Colleen. Have we met?

Blitz:
Of course. You know me. I'm Blitz.

Colleen:
[pretending to think] Blitz...Blitz... no, that's not working for me. I know! I'll give you a brand new name. Something that better suits your winning personality. Yes. From now on, let's call you Mr. Fluffypants.

Blitz:
Let's not.

Colleen:
Mister Stuffington Fluffypants. Fluffy for short.

Blitz:
Stop calling me that or I'll bite you!

Colleen:
Oh yeah? With whose dentures, Fluffy?

[Blitz and Colleen get into a fight. Colleen beats up Blitz and slams him onto a control panel.]

Exile:
[on intercom] Blitz, come in, everything okey-dokey down there?

Blitz:
[dazed] Just call me Fluffy.

Exile:
Don't be a weird boy.

Hunter:
I hope we can find Blitz.

Colleen:
Who?

Hunter:
The doberman.

Colleen:
Oh him, right.

Hunter:
Hey, he may be pushy, but he seems brave.

Blitz:
[crying] Please let me go!

Colleen:
You were saying?

Hunter:
Yeah, because you're mad at the NFL for letting the Cleveland Browns move to Baltimore!

Storm:
[After thinking about it] Besides that.

Colleen:
[looks at a werewolf] If you don't mind, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend. [takes out launcher and aims] We're going steady. [fires it]

Colleen:
[pinned in a fight with a slobbering werewolf] Eew, gross. Blimey! Do you know how much trouble I go through every day to look this way?

Colleen:
Blimey. Could you blokes keep it down? I need my bloomin' beauty sleep.

Hunter, Blitz, and Exile:
[in unison] I'll say!

Colleen:
[sarcastically] Ah ha ha, there's your comedy.

Exile:
According to legend of my ancestors, once victim is bitten or scratched, during full moon, he turns into raging monstrous beast!

Colleen:
Sounds like a fun date.

Exile:
I miss mother Russia. Father Russia I don't miss so much - he was big grump. Oh... listen to the sad strains of the balalaika. I HATE it! So SOMEBODY SHUT THAT THING OFF!! [Shag puts the balalaika into his fur and grins]

Hunter:
Sky Rover to Cloud Rover, I've got good news. Exile is not a werewolf.

Blitz:
And I've got bad news: Colleen is!

Blitz:
[to Colleen werewolf] Colleen, it's me! The one you can't remember! Blitz!

[Colleen hesitates and makes a sound like 'Who?']

Blitz:
[over radio, being attacked by Colleen] Hunter, we've got a problem!

Hunter:
I know. We ran out of Milk Bones.

Blitz:
[desperately] That's not what I'm talking about!

Hunter:
[regarding the werewolves gathered at Stonehenge] What are they all doing here?

Exile:
According to the legend of my homeland, it is time for werewolves to pick their king and queen. Once sun comes up and night turns to day, they will all be werewolves forever.

Hunter:
Queen Colleen? Nah, no way.

Hunter:
[to werewolf Colleen regarding werewolf king] Colleen, he's not really your type. In fact, he's not even your species.

[Hunter and Colleen are fleeing bad guys via bobsled]

Hunter:
Hang ten, little doggie.

Colleen:
Wrong sport, Huntie.

Hunter:
Well then why is there surf music?

Hunter:
Don't you kiss me!

Guard:
I will not! I will kill you!

[the Road Rovers' helicopter is plunging toward the ground]

Hunter:
I would not have predicted this.

Colleen:
Your predictions are consistently off.

Hunter:
Oh, you noticed?

Colleen:
Let me put it this way: The psychic hotline you're not.

Hunter:
Any ideas?

Colleen:
Yeah, get ready to crash!

Hunter:
Any other suggestions?

Blitz:
Ya, I suggest we all scream uncontrollably!

Hunter:
Sounds like a plan.

All:
AAAAAHHHH!!!!!

Hunter:
Hey, Blitz, you want a biscuit?

Blitz:
Tanks.

Hunter:
You're welcome.

Blitz:
No. Tanks.

Hunter:
Are you sure? It's tasty. Try it.

Blitz:
Tanks.

Hunter:
You're welcome.

Blitz:
No. Tanks.

Hunter:
What's with you? You want it or not?

Blitz:
Tanks!

Hunter:
YOU'RE WELCOME!

Blitz:
NO! TANKS!

Hunter:
WELL MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

[Tanks crash through the wall next to them.]

Hunter:
Oh, tanks. Now I get it. Funny.

Hunter:
Exile, you and Blitz go around and check out the rear entrance.

Blitz:
Excellent. I bite anything that comes out of the rear.

Exile:
Sigmund Freud would have field day with nut-boy like you.

Blitz:
Need a lift?

Colleen:
Sorry. Me mum told me never to ride with strangers.

Blitz:
I am stranger?

Exile:
Stranger than anyone I know.

Hunter:
Let me get this straight. We save the world, and a doggie biscuit is the thanks we get for a job well done?

Professor Shepherd:
That's about the size of it.

Hunter:
I love this gig!

Colleen:
Faster, Huntie-Wuntie.

Hunter:
Aw, Colleen, don't call me that! It's insubordination. You'll demoralize the troops!

Colleen:
[taking Hunter by the face, talking in baby voice] Ooh, I won't inabulation, kissies. [kissing noises]

Hunter:
There. Now that's more like it.

Exile:
Welcome to club Comrade Sportovich! I give you big kiss! [Kisses Sport on both cheeks before moving to Blitz] I give all my comrades big kiss!

Blitz:
Stop with the kissing or I'll start with the biting!

Exile:
OK, I give you big bear hug instead!

[Exile begins Hugging/squeezing Blitz]

Blitz:
[Groans] No! Go back to the kissing! Go back to the kissing! Kiss Me! Kiss Me!

[Exile releases Blitz, who promptly collapses and faints]

Exile:
Don't be a weird boy!

Blitz:
[praying as the Turbojet Rover is going down] Oh please, oh please, oh please. If you let me live, I promise I'll go back to obedience school for a solid year. I promise.

[Turbojet Rover plunges into the ocean and converts to submarine mode]

Exile:
I love being Road Rover! Cars turn into boats, planes turn into subs... [raising fist and looking up at ceiling] ...Beat that, bad guys.

Blitz:
Okay, about that obedience school thing, okay, maybe not a whole year, maybe more like once a month?

[lights go out]

Blitz:
[groaning] Okay, okay, a whole year!

[lights go on again]

Blitz:
Sheesh, what a grump.

Blitz:
[shamelessly begging for mercy from Parvo] Listen, I'm not really a Road Rover. I was just going along for the ride, you know? Just for the fun of it? I should be spared, you know?

General Parvo:
Nice try.

[bad guys start shooting at Blitz, Blitz dashes off after the other Rovers]

Hunter:
[running along with Exile and Colleen] First we've gotta rescue Sport.

Blitz:
[catching up] That canine is a traitor. He's shameless! I can't believe anyone would ever turn on their friends and be such a wimpy baby.

Hunter:
[knowingly, to Exile] Oh, I can think of someone.

Exile:
And he's a weird boy.

Colleen:
Pardon. I abso-bloomin-lutely love the red tights, but that helmet has gotta go.

Groomer:
[angrily] What did you say?!

Hunter:
[Cruising up beside Colleen on a Sand Hovercyle] Hop on, cutie. I'll take you away from all this.

[Colleen hops on behind him]

Hunter:
Stick with me, kid, and you won't have to worry about a thing again.

Colleen:
[clearly pleased]: Peachy!

Hunter:
[to Shag and Colleen, but mostly Colleen] Up for a ride through the Everglades? I hear they're lovely this time of year.

Groomer:
I've got the Rovers in sight, General.

Parvo:
Don't bother me with details, just DO YOUR JOB!

Groomer:
[muttering]: Lighten up!

Parvo:
WHAT?!

Groomer:
Uh, nothing!

Colleen:
[to Shag] Now, let's see if we can find a way out of this place...before you kill me!

Exile:
[To Hunter after he knocks out Sarge] You sure pulled the wooly lambs over eyes of early worm and got bird in bush!

Hunter:
[Obviously confused] OK, cool.

Blitz:
It's not fair! I wanted to bite his tuchus first!

Exile:
We're here on business weird boy, not pleasure.

Blitz:
Oh. Never mind.

Hunter:
[panicking] Let me drive, Colleen, PLEASE!!!

Colleen:
Oh, pipe down, Huntie. It's my turn and you know it!

Hunter:
LOOK OUT!

[Colleen narrowly misses a truck.]

Hunter:
That was close.

Colleen:
It was not that close.

Hunter:
It was close.

Colleen:
Oh, stop it, would you? What are you looking for, a map?

Hunter:
No, my donor card.

[Colleen gets an irritated look on her face]

[Hunter fires a shot at Groomer, but wipes out a CATS billboard instead]

Colleen:
Jolly good shot!

Hunter:
Well, sometimes things just work out.

Colleen:
Where are Shag and Exile anyway?

Hunter:
Uh, they're with Blitz.

Colleen:
Who?

Hunter:
The Doberman.

Colleen:
Oh, him. Have I met him yet?

Hunter:
I think.

[Shag runs off chasing a cat]

Colleen:
Blimey. Chasing cats. That is so immature.

Exile:
But we are dogs.

Hunter:
Yeah, some habits die hard.

[Cat runs by. Hunter, Blitz, and Exile get down on all fours, start barking, and give chase]

Colleen:
(shrugging) Bloomin' mutts. Hey!

[another cat runs by and Colleen repeats the behavior of the other Rovers]

Parvo:
I'm here to see to it that all you dogs go to Heaven...or worse!

Hunter:
The old revolving wall escape trick. Bummer numero dos. I'm working on my Spanish.

Colleen:
Ay caramba.

Hunter:
[watching Muzzle attack Parvo's soldiers] Man oh man, there goes our G rating!

[After Shag writes a letter to the Professor]

Hunter:
This may not be the time to answer fan-mail, Shag; it's the past.

[Hunter has just stepped out of the transdogmifier.]

Hunter:
Whooo-hoo! I love this machine!

Colleen:
[walking past] Hello, Huntie.

Hunter:
I really love this machine.

Blitz:
I feel pretty.

Exile:
I feel queasy.

Colleen:
[after Hunter makes an exceptionally bumpy landing] Have you considered additional driver's ed?

Hunter:
We don't need additional drivers, and my name's not Ed.

Colleen:
Ha! Now there's your comedy.

Hunter:
Okay, Blitz, hand over the blaster.

Blitz:
No, it's mine!

Hunter:
Sorry, but if you can't use it correctly then you can't use it at all. Now hand it over.

Blitz:
No! Stop hounding me!

Hunter:
Then quit doggin' it!

Blitz:
Get off my tail!

Colleen:
[splitting up Hunter and Blitz] Gents, gents, calm down.

Blitz:
He started it!

Colleen:
Now, Blister...

Blitz:
Blitz.

Colleen:
Whatever. The point Hunter's trying to make is... WATCH WHO YOU'RE BLASTING!!!

Blitz:
Whooaaa! [falls into the river]

Hunter:
You have a way with words.

Colleen:
Well, it's a gift I was born with.

Blitz:
If she weren't so cute I'd bite her.

Tribal Leader:
To save our families and our forest, the monsters must be destroyed.

Blitz:
But I'm not a monster.

Tribal Leader:
Are you a six-foot-tall dog man who talks?

Blitz:
Yes.

Tribal Leader:
Close enough.

Blitz:
Everyone should listen to my owner! He's the only one making sense!

Exile:
Dah, non-sense!

Blitz:
Watch your tongue, snowball!

Exile:
You should talk, weird boy!

Colleen:
Are you sure you know how that pump works, Hunter?

Hunter:
Nope! But it's worth a try.

Colleen:
And if it doesn't work?

Hunter:
How long can you hold your breath?

Colleen:
Not long enough!

Master:
Gather round, Rovers. You have a busy day ahead of you. Here's your schedule: free the hostages, attend the peace treaty signing, and track down this unidentified alien spaceraft.

Hunter:
Sure thing, Master, but what do you want us to do after lunch?

Colleen:
Ha! Now there's your comedy.

Hunter:
Le's move out, Rovers!

Blitz:
Now hold it right there. Why is Hunter in charge all the time? What about me? How come you're always the leader?

Hunter:
Well, for one thing I'm smarter.

Blitz:
No you're not.

Hunter:
Yeah I am.

Blitz:
Prove it.

Hunter:
Okay. [points to the left] Look over there.

Blitz:
What?

Hunter:
[points to the right] Now look over there.

Blitz:
What?

Hunter:
[points left again] Look over there.

Blitz:
What?

[continues with Shag, Exile, and Colleen watching]

Colleen:
[looking at watch] This could go on forever.

Colleen:
When do I get to drive?

Hunter:
As soon as my license gets revoked.

Colleen:
Your pilot license?

Both:
[in unison] No, my dog license!

Colleen:
You know, I think we've done this joke.

Hunter:
That's true. We're recycling.

Colleen:
[in response to Hunter's order to activate the boosters] Roger!

[Colleen pushes button, sonic rover blasts into the distance]

Hunter:
Nice work, Colleen. But don't call me Roger.

Colleen:
[as the Rovers, minus Hunter, are about to be swallowed up by a flying saucer] Yet another unexpected twist.

Exile:
Bummer.

Colleen:
So, Huntie....

Huter:
Yeah?

Colleen:
There's a moon out tonight.

Hunter:
Huh. Cool.

Colleen:
So, do you want to go for a walk on the beach?

Hunter:
Do I?! You bet!

[on the beach, Colleen walking Hunter in dog form on a leash]

Colleen:
This is not exactly what I had in mind.