Static Shock, Season 4

Robin:
(About Batman) He learnt science from noble laureates, martial arts from kung-fu masters and manners from a crocodile.

Static:
So he's a little harsh sometimes.

Robin:
Sometimes?!

Static:
He's teaching you, making sure you would be ready for whatever. I think you're pretty lucky.

Static:
Batman's not gonna be happy when he hears how you've been treating his guest and you really don't want to see Batman unhappy.

Batman (Beyond]:
First, we don't have guests here. And, second, I'm Batman.

Static:
And I'm Beyonce.

Batman (Beyond]:
Well, whoever you are, you don't belong here.

Static:
And you're Bruce Wayne, aren't you? But you're so ...

Bruce:
Old? No big surprise, considering that you just hop-scotched forty years!

Batman (Beyond]:
Kobra has captured one of the world's greatest heroes. He's someone with the power to change the future.

Static:
How great can this guy be if he got captured by a bunch of snake people?

Bruce:
He's you, Virgil.

Static:
You've seen what I can do! You're still mad about that little go-around we had!

Batman (Beyond]:
(defensively) This has nothing to do with that!

Batman (Beyond]:
Robin's... a civilian now. The rest of the League's stationed near Alpha Centauri. Gear's on a mission halfway round the world. As for your son...

Static:
Son!? I have a son?

Static:
Sure must be nice having someone to give you leads and help figure out things.

Batman (Beyond):
It is. What was Bruce like when you knew him?

Static:
Taller.

Batman (Beyond):
It's a stasis field. That's how they're holding him.

Static:
That's me. Got a plan?

Batman (Beyond):
Go down there and fight real hard.

Static:
That's what I was thinking, and I don't even have a mentor.

Kobra Leader:
What have we here... a failed cloning attempt, a Mini-Static?

Kobra Leader:
Yep, mini alright.

Static:
Batman, you were -

Batman:
I'd rather not know.

Static:
At least you still had your hair.

Static:
(to Gear) I thought you said that couldn't happen in real life!

She-Bang:
(interrupting) If you two don't pay attention, real life's gonna be over real soon!

Shenice:
And the best part is, I don't have to pretend I'm shy anymore. I can be myself.

Richie:
(to Virgil) There's a scary thought.

Virgil:
Bad enough She-Bang keeps butting in when we're on patrol, but Shenice won't let us alone neither.

Richie:
You're telling me. She was so busy describing the new curtains for the gas station, she followed me right into the boys' restroom. (in a higher-pitched voice) She thought that could use new curtains too.

Madelyn:
Give me some space, ok?

Ebon:
Seems to me you got plenty of that between your ears.

Hot-Streak:
(has Gear cornered) Gotcha now, Poindexter.

Gear:
That's Mr. Poindexter to you.

Gear:
(activates backpack while flying) I've got Backpack scanning for any pressure changes, temperature spikes, high-frequency sounds...

Static:
(looks ahead and sees the tornado in the junkyard caused by Ebon) Or we could just use our eyes.

Gear:
Er... yes, but that would've been too easy.

Gear:
Ah, I think those guys have the right idea, I'm dangerously close to curfew.

Static:
You wouldn't have a curfew if you hadn't blown up your garage.

Gear:
Those compounds were theoretically stable.

Oseba:
You do not have it. Explain.

Onini:
The doctor has hidden it.

Mmoboro:
And Static arrived and we were forced to retreat.

Oseba:
You fear the wrong person. Static's wrath is nothing compared to my own.

Onini:
We're sorry, Oseba.

Oseba:
Do not apologise--find it.

Mmoboro:
As you say, Oseba, we have eyes everywhere.

Static:
I still can't figure out why they didn't take anything.

Anansi:
But they did; a Golden Spider with incredible powers; in fact, it is the source of my powers.

Anansi:
(narrating) ...This story belongs to Kweku Anansi, as do all stories.

Anansi:
(narrating) Once, there was a very clever spider, called Kweku Anansi, who wished to have the power of storytelling...

Anansi:
(narrating) ...The Sky King, who owned all things, made a bargain with Kweku; "Bring me three evil-doers and in return, I will grant you that power." So brave Kweku set out to bring the Sky King what he asked for....

Anansi:
(narrating) ...Kweku tricked Mmoboro, The Stinging Hornet, into a gourd...

Anansi:
(narrating) ...Kweku tricked Onini, The Bullying Python, and tied him to a stick...

Anansi:
(narrating) ...Kweku tricked Oseba, The Greedy Leopard, who fell into a pit.

Anansi:
(narrating) The Sky King was pleased. He granted the spider his request. And with the power of Storytelling came the power of Illusion.

Static:
Is the gold spider Kweku?

Anansi:
No--Kweku made the gold spider to hold his powers, (Kweku Anansi forms the gold spider in his hands as he his endowed with his new powers,) and each generation passed those powers from one hero to the next. (Scene changes to show Africa) But the original spider was lost for centuries, (Dr. Anokye's face is now shown with Africa,) until Dr. Anokye found it again in the Ashanti ruins.

Static:
What happens if Oseba gets it?

Anansi:
He could drain my powers back into the spider--but worse he would have powers equal to mine.

Gear:
(to Sharon) Oh! Don't worry, Ma'am, the boy who with you when you were attacked is just fine. I saw to that.

Gear:
Pictures don't lie, V.

Static:
Oh, no? Then, what about the one you made on your computer with a poodle's head and Sharon's body?

Gear:
Heh. That did look pretty real.

Static:
(angrily) You can do what you want to me, but NOT to my friend!

Static:
Late night robbery sweeps Dakota. (Reading from a newspaper) Police unable to catch mystery thieves. Yeah, me neither.

Static:
Uh! What!

Gear:
You fell asleep again like you did in chemistry class. Well ... at least you're not lighting a Bunsen Burner this time.

Static:
I guess I'm not cut out for these all-nighters. I don't know how Batman does it.

Gear:
Eh, in real life, he's probably some rich guy who gets to sleep all day... (Virgil looks nervous) Wait a minute, he is, isn't he?!

Static:
I'm not saying anything.

Static:
Our own headquarters? We should of gotten a big guard dog to watch it, or at least a Chihuahua with some attitude.

Gear:
Man, the city's stopped. Not even the cops can get through.

Static:
Maybe that's the idea. (Backpack beeps) Backpack got something?

Gear:
He's sensing increased abnormal transformations of base compounds on a molecular level.

Static:
In english.

Gear:
Nanites.

Static:
That's english?

Gear:
Looks like we're closing in on our 'ghost'.

Static:
What does a ghost need with an Mp3 player?

Gear:
Well, for one thing, CDs are too bulky.

Static:
That was embarrassing.

Gear:
I won't tell anybody if you won't.

Virgil:
(to Eddie) Remember me? Virgil?

Eddie:
Yes, 'the vinegar-and-baking-soda-bomber'.

Virgil:
Heh. That stuff pretty much washed out, didn't it?

Eddie:
Yeah, I'm on spring break from college. I graduated high school early 'cause, you know, I'm a genius.

Virgil:
We know, man, we were there.

Static:
(to Gear) We've got a problem.

Gear:
Don't worry, S-man. We can take this guy.

Static:
Uh huh. Why don't you put this back on? (holds up Gear's helmet)

Gear:
Ah!

Static:
(to Gear) I don't suppose you have a pair of scissors?

Gear:
(Backpack's gadgets come into view on multible robotic arms, including a fork and a comb) ...No.

Dr. McDonald:
Please! I don't know how to fly this!

Gear:
(taking hold of the controls) Not to worry. I've logged over two-hundred hours in an F-15.

Static:
You have?

Gear:
Well, on my gamestation flight simulator. (Engine suddenly explodes) But that never happens!

Gear:
I'm going to try to land on Woodward Avenue.

Static:
There are cars down there!

Gear:
I know. This thing got a horn?

Gear:
So, how'd I do?

Static:
Isn't that your Dad's car?

Static:
Heh, got ya.

Gear:
He's gone completely out of sync with our time. He's trapped in his own warp.

Static:
What do we do?

Gear:
I don't think there's anything we can do except call the cops.

Static:
Well, they won't have to hurry. By the time he gets to the end of the block, it'll be Christmas.

Hot-Streak:
Whoo-hoo! Now this is what I call a hot car!

Static:
Coincidentally, this is also what the police call a 'hot car'.

Hot-Streak:
Static, can't a guy even go for a joy ride anymore?

Static:
Sure. Drop you off at County lockup?

Hot-Streak:
This stuff's some kind of high-tech stupid somethin' or other.

Static:
Can I quote you on that, Professor?

Static:
Now you're usin' your head.

Hot-Streak:
Not really. I just like to blow stuff up.

Static:
How's your shoulder?

Hot-Streak:
Fine. How's your stupid leg?

Static:
Fine.

Hot-Streak:
When I was a kid I was in a hospital for two years. I don't do hospitals.

Static:
If we can't get that key and unlock ourselves, we're both gonna be in here a lot longer than two years.

Static:
Gear! [He zaps the straps to release him. He grabs Gear and shakes him gently.) Gear, can you hear me?!

Gear:
[groans and opens his eyes] Hey... what brings you here?

Static:
[grins widely, relieved that he's alright] I heard there was gonna be free ice cream.

Edwin Alva Sr.:
I can't thank you enough for what you've done.

Static:
I didn't do it for you Alva. I did it because it was right.

Hot-Streak:
Yeah. You should try it.

Gear:
You know, I'm pretty good at passing myself!

Gear:
Okay, no more feeding spring boy anymore metal.

Static:
Time we used Plan "B".

Gear:
Ok. What's Plan "B"?

Static:
Stop using Plan "A".

Gear:
Check us out, V! Hangin' with Dule, protecting him wherever he goes, we're his posse!

Static:
Uh, Rich, for us to be a 'posse', he'd have to know we're following him around.

Gear:
Ah, right. So, what does that make us?

Static:
Stalkers.

Richie:
Man, look at him go!

Robert:
You know, I was once pretty fast on the field myself.

Virgil:
Pops, was that back during the Jurassic age or are we talking past lives here?

Virgil:
What I lack in maturity, I make up for in immaturity.

Tarmack:
You'd better run, 'cause I'm Tarmack, a living chunk of the biggest, baddest road you'll ever drive on... and the road is hard.

Tarmack:
Your security's useless, Alva. Ya shoulda hired a bouncer.

Rubber-Band Man:
Now there's an entrance line if I ever heard one!

Static:
Looks like 'Asphalt Man's one tough road to hoe.

Tarmack:
Hey! The name's Tarmack!

Static:
What kind of a name is 'Thumb-Tack'?

Gear:
No, no, man, he said 'Knick-Knack'.

Static:
'Fat-Back'?

Gear:
I think it was 'Rat-Pack'.

Static:
Oh, 'Short-Stack'.

Static:
Look at this; it’s a review of your new CD.

Rubber-Band Man:
I don’t read my reviews.

Static:
Don’t or can’t?

Rubber-Band Man:
Look I’m dyslexic all right. They put me in a special learning program. They showed me techniques.

Static:
Like what?

Rubber-Band Man:
A lot of stuff. You change words into something you can feel instead of look at, but it takes patience. I could never sit still as a kid.

Static:
So you dropped out of the program?

Rubber-Band Man:
I felt dumb! Don’t tell anyone about this ok?

Static:
You’re not dumb! Look what you made of yourself. A hero. A famous musician. But…

Rubber-Band Man:
But I messed up.

Static:
I was gonna say ‘but you can’t give in’. You said you can read, it just takes some work. Do the work.

Specs:
The fusion engine, that you secured for us, will power our brainchild - 'The Disaster Matrix'...

Trapper:
I named it.

Specs:
...We can use it to channel enormous energies to any section of the city, reducing it to rubble.

Trapper:
Or we can de-rail trains, crack airport runways.

Specs:
We’ll hold all of Dakota for ransom.

Trapper:
We’ll make millions.

Rubber-Band Man:
(about his Dyslexia) Thanks for not saying anything.

Static:
When are you gonna say something?

Specs:
Contain 22-1 mark 7.

Specs:
Contain 17-2 mark 12.

Gear:
(impressed) ...Voice command... Awesome. Hey Back-Pack, jam anything in the room plotting co-ordinates.

Static:
(to Specs) I should blast your butt, but that's ungentlemanly. (thinks it over again) Aw, who am I kidding?

Gear:
You alright?

Static:
Ever since we took that dip in the lake, I got water in my ear! S'cuse me a second.

Static:
[smirks] Ah, that's better.

[Having been instructed to kidnap Robert Hawkins by Karen Roberts, a.k.a. Omnara, Puff and Onyx, as-per their instructions hand over to Static directions to where to go see their employer.]

Static:
If this is a trick, you won't be able to run far enough.

[Static flies off, leaving Puff not understanding what is going on.]

Puff:
(about Static) I don't get it. We snatch one guy, and he acts like it's the crime of the century.

Static:
Mr. Hawkins, I'm glad to see you're ok.

Robert:
You can drop the act, Virgil.

Static:
You know?

Robert:
Wasn't hard to figure out. Why else kidnap me to get to Static? And maybe, just maybe, in the back of my mind, I've always known.

Static:
(grabs Gear by the back of his costume) You double-crossing little WORM! I hate WORMS like you! Why don't you run a diagnostic to see what just what kinda double-dealing little WORM you are! (flys off)

Static:
Did you get my message?

Gear:
Dude, you called me a worm like three times. How could I miss it?

Robert:
Is that... Richie?

Gear:
(coughs and deepens his voice) Er, Mr. Hawkins, you have to understand the most secret part of a superhero is his secret identity and, well, uh-

Static:
Yeah, that's Richie.

Gear:
(voice cracks) Hi, Mr. H.

Sharon:
Virgil!

Virgil:
You shrieked?

Sharon:
You didn't take the garbage out last night.

Virgil:
Is that what smells? I figured you were trying a new recipe.

Sharon:
You have to help with the chores!

Virgil:
I do help with the chores!

Sharon:
No. You say you'll help. Then you disappear. 'Poof'!

Virgil:
Well, I wouldn't say 'poof'. It's more like ... zoom.

Daisy:
What is up with you two? You say you'll help. Then you disappear. Poof!

Virgil:
Have you been talking to my sister?

Frieda:
Look! It's Static add Gear.

Daisy:
And as usual, Virgil and Richie are nowhere in sight. (pause) You don't think?

Frieda:
Nah. It couldn't be.

Static:
They can't get rid of us that easily!