That's So Raven, Season 4

Mrs. Valentine:
That presentizzle was off the hizzle!

Victor:
You know, I am starting to think that Cory is only in this for the money.

(Cory wheels in an ATM past Victor & Raven)

Raven:
Ya think?

Chelsea:
Donna Cabonna?! (accidentally lets go of her bowling ball and it starts rolling down the stairs) Four!

Eddie:
That's golf, Chels.

Chelsea':
No, that's my fourth ball I've lost this week.

Chelsea:
You guys, you guys, you guys! That's Nikki Logan. She's like one of my favorite actresses! She was so awesome as the vegetarian detective in "Dude Where's My Eggplant?"

Raven:
Yeah, and her house in Malibu is off the chain. I saw it on "Young, Rich, and Fabulous."

Chelsea:
Yeah, I know. I totally saw that! Yeah, her bathtub is so big, she even has her own diving board.

Raven:
Chels, that was her swimming pool

Chelsea:
That would make more sense.

Chelsea:
Man! I can't believe Nikki's not here. (reaches into her backpack) I wanted her to sign my eggplant.

Eddie:
How come you can't just get a regular autograph album like everybody else, Chels?

Chelsea:
Excuse me, do you know how long it takes to grow autograph albums?!

Raven (to Donna Cabonna):
I didn't know when you said 24/7 you meant all day all week!

Raven (to Donna):
You don't own me, you don't even pay me!!

Raven:
[just cheated on HOOK UP MY SPACE! and camera just zoomed in on Raven] Hey, America, how yall doin'?

Raven:
Corey please this is my only chance please don't make this ugly [looks at lamp] Oh my goodness what is that ugly thing?!?

Raven:
[In Pat voice] Uh, Chris? You got it on the wrong side, man.

Chelsea:
[In Chris voice] If you say so, Pat!

Eddie:
My says "Panic."

Chelsea:
Mine says "Don't."

Raven:
[crying] MINE SAYS "RAVEN, PLEASE DISTRIBUTE!"

Mrs. Valentine:
Any questions?

Buffy:
Shouldn't we be working with professionals instead of people off the street?

Eddie:
Did she just dis us?

Chelsea:
Uh, yeah, I'm feelin' a little dissed.

Raven (to Sydney):
You know what we have to do to them on the fashion competition, don't you?

Sydney:
Crush them!

Raven:
Now you getting it.

Kendra:
Kendra Blair here...awaiting the return of the great fashion photographer, Pistache. Oh, here she comes now!

[Raven walks in dressed as Pistache]

Raven:
[fake French accent] Bonjour! Ello, ello, ello, ello, ello. Frere Jacques. Where do we start with the big shooooow?!

Kendra:
Shouldn't we wait for Donna?

Raven:
NO! We do not wait for Donna. Pistache works very quickly. [snaps fingers] I have to go back into seclusion.

Raven:
Oh! The boys, the boys!

Kendra:
[slowly] How does it feel to be in A-mer-i-ca?

Raven:
NO! You do not speak to the boys. They do not speak the same English as you speak. They speak another form of the language that you do not know. Boys! Saabite, wootita zoozoo...wika wah wika fiki fiki wah tika chika wah wah!

Zack:
Tika tika wah.

Cody:
Tika tika wah wah!

Raven:
Oh la la! Pistache found the camera! Okay boys, smiley smile! Oh the pointing, the pointing. It's so rude, so rude, I love it! So nasty!

Kendra:
Eh, Pistache...have you met Pistache?

Raven:
There is no other Pis- [sees Donna also dressed as Pistache, coming towards her] Oh, snap! Okay there is a perfect explanation.

Pistache:
[walks over to Zack and Cody] This is not Yan...and Kvelt.

Donna:
Raven, you're fired.

Raven:
Yeah, I kinda figured that.

Pistache:
They are even better.

Donna:
Raven, you're re-hired.

Raven:
Sweet.

Donna:
I think this is gonna work.

Raven:
I know it is.

Pistache:
I got it. And now, we dance.

[Everyone starts dancing]

Mrs. Rothschild:
LAWRENCE, you're toast!

Loca:
Aaaah!! Where's the rest of you?!

Stanley:
Just look in my eyes, baby, just look in my eyes.

Eddie:
[repeated line] Don't get me started!

Zuckerman:
You thought you can hide from me, didn't you?

Raven:
[as Dorthy] Why are you so mean?

Victor:
[as the Wizard of Oz] Because I ain't got no body! Get it? I ain't got no body. I'm a big floating head, and - alright, get out of my sight!

Cory:
(his cell phone rings and he answers it) Hello? This is Cory's phone. Cory Baxter speaking. Oh, hey, Larry. Man! Chill, I am sure your parents didn't move without telling you. Did you check in the kitchen? There see? All that crying for nothing. You're welcome. (looking confused) I...love you too? Bye.

Raven:
Just because Eddie is not tall, dark, handsome, muscular...

Eddie:
(interrupts) Hey, you better be going somewhere with this.

Chelsea:
Rae, you want to leave during The Quiet Game?

Raven:
Chelsea, I wanted to leave during dinner!

Raven:
Mrs. Daniels, you're like a mother to me.

Chelsea:
To me too

Theatre Guard:
Young man! People are trying to watch the movie, you are going to have to leave!

Cory:
Me?!

Chelsea:
See I told him! Yeah! You heard me.

Cory:
Yes Chelsea! Everybody heard you!

Mrs Valentine:
[starts to rain] Oh dear, it looks like its raining. We will camp at Raven's.

Raven:
Say what?

Eddie:
[quietly] Hello, baby! I was expecting your call.

Raven:
Eeew!! Eddie stop talkin' like that and put Chelsea on the phone!

Raven:
You dated a rock star?! Which one?

Donna Cabonna:
That's not the point! (whispers in Raven's ear) Mick Jagger!!!

Raven:
Oh snap!!!

[To Raven]

Donna Cabonna:
Were you working for Lora behind my back?

Lora Stelladora:
Were you working for Donna in front of my behind?

Chelsea:
That study party was off the heezy. It's just bad that we are going to fail.

Eddie:
Ms. Dearborn...

Courtney:
Eddie, call me Courtney. We're all friends here.

Eddie:
Ok, Courtney. So this whole war started over a woman?

Courtney:
Well, imagine if Beyoncé got stolen by Canada. What would you do?

Eddie:
(quickly jumps up and salutes) Eddie Thomas reporting for duty, ma'am!

The Juicer:
Okay, guys, let's take a vote. All those who don't want me to be the lead singer, speak now and you'll never speak again.

Chelsea:
Isn't it weird that everytime something strange happens Raven isn't here to see it.

Eddie:
That is because she is Raven!

Dr. Stuckerman (to Courtney):
Do you know what my first name is?

Courtney:
I'm afraid not, sir.

Dr. Stuckerman:
Bingo!

Chelsea:
(to Raven) Yeah he looks like a Bingo to me.

Chelsea (about Eddie's parents):
They're so happy together, just like in your vision.

Raven:
Uh, yeah, what you see is what I saw, but what I saw is not what you see, and you see what I'm sayin'?

Chelsea:
Say that again. I might still have some money in my ear

Raven:
Chels, listen. Eddie's parents are not getting back together.

Michael:
You know, it's nice to be together as a family again.

Lynn:
It's just like old times.

Raven:
Oh, I was hoping you were gonna say something like that. Maybe, you never know, this could be the start of a new beginning.

Lynn:
What are you talking about?

Raven:
Maybe you guys can get back together.

(Eddie's parents laugh)

Raven:
What y'all laughin' at?

Lynn:
Just the thought of us actually getting back together.

Michael:
If there's one thing we agree on, it's that that's not gonna happen in a million years.

Raven:
[speaks on phone to Victor about the mayor coming to pick up the casserole] Dad, I know, I know, listen, listen. The casserole is in the oven. Yes, yes, yes! You take it out, you let it cool, you shampoo it, you rinse it, repeat it! [laughs] I'm just playing with you, Daddy! [rushed] Hold on, let me call you right back. Love you, too, bye!

Raven:
[stops cory] Excuse me! Where do you think you're going?

Cory:
[holding basketball] To the library.

Raven:
With a basketball? Dad put me in charge. I need you to respect me enough to give me a decent lie!

Cory:
Sorry, I was in a rush.

Raven:
Cory, you are not going anywhere until you finish your chores.

Cory:
[lies] I did 'em!

Raven:
[after each question, Cory lies with the answer "Yes!"] So you cleaned your room? You picked up the laundry? You picked up fresh milk?

Raven:
[gives a look] You may go.

Cory:
Thank you!

Raven:
[walks to the refrigerator, thinking to self] Yep, when it comes to little brothers, you just gotta show them who's boss!

Raven:
[pours glass of milk and old, chunky milk come out] CORY!!

Raven:
[picks up laundry] Corry. . .lazy, nonworking, good for nothing, [finds cigarette] cigarette smoking -- cigarette smoking??? Oh, no. . . CORY!!!

Raven:
OK. Who would like to learn how to make their own clothes?

Sydney:
There's a new invention, lady. It's called the store.

Chelsea:
I always wanted to win a real trophy! All we got at vegetarian camp was a half a cantaloupe filled with cottage cheese and seasonal berries.

Victor:
Raven?

Raven:
Huh?

Victor:
Were you listening to me?

Raven:
Absolutely.

Victor:
What was the last thing I said?

Raven:
Get up and get ready for school?

Raven:
A piñata? You mean like, we have to hit that with a stick & have candy flying everywhere?

Señorita Rodriguez:
Oh, everybody does candy. I took it to the next level: guacamole.

Raven:
Why? Why? Why?

Señorita Rodriguez:
Who's ready for hot fudge?

Raven:
Why it gotta be fudge?!?

Raven:
My school stuff is mixed in with my work stuff which is mixed in with my beauty stuff. I think I need a bigger room.

Chelsea:
Or...smaller stuff.

Chelsea:
Whoa, Rae! Seriously, whoa! They really hooked this space up.

Raven:
Chelsea, they haven't even started yet.

Chelsea:
Oh, good. Cause this place is a dump!

Eddie:
Can we please go to the batting cage now?

Chelsea:
Or we can go to the country.

Raven:
Uh, the country? I'd rather go to the batting cages.

Eddie:
Right, well let's put it to a vote. Who wants to go to the country?

Chelsea:
(raises hand) Where there's a great little country store.

Raven:
Huh?

Chelsea:
That sells really cute accessories.

Raven:
Uh.

Chelsea:
Uhm, and they're all on sale.

Raven:
Ahhh! Ahh I'm in, I'm in.

Chelsea:
Yeah, that's right. Everybody buckle up to the country, Edward.

Juicer:
I smell pesto...

Cory:
I have pesto!

Juicer:
And fear!

Larry:
(in a high-pitched voice) I have fear!

Raven:
That is so not true, Chels, I remember every important detail about you.

Chelsea:
Ok, really? um, ok, what's my favorite animal? Ok, what's my favorite vegetable? What's my favorite mineral?

Raven:
Mineral? what?

Chelsea:
Look at you, Rae. You're supposed to be my best friend. Come on, I bet you don't even know my middle name.

Raven:
Ah, I bet you don't even know mine.

Chelsea:
Raven Lydia Baxter! Uh, your favorite vegetable is corn, your favorite mineral is diamond and your favorite animal is stuffed.

Raven:
Lucky guess.

Donna:
Raven! What were you doing up in those vents?!

Raven:
Uh, well, I heard you needed a new design for your fall line, so I said, "Why not drop on in?"

Tiffany:
"Drop in"? More like "crash in".

Raven:
I wouldn't have to "crash in" if you weren't "hate-in".

Raven (to Donna):
Maybe I can have my name next to yours.

Donna:
No.

Raven:
In tiny little letters?

Donna:
No.

Raven:
On the washing machine tag? We'll talk about it later.

Chelsea:
Oh, oh! So, Mr. B, how's business?

Mr. Baxter:
Do you really care?

Chelsea:
(shakes her head) No.

Cory:
(to Kayla) The Juicer thinks you're cute.

Kayla:
(to Cory) Do you want to know what I think? (grabs his hand) I think you're cute (a teapot starts heating while Kayla is holding Cory's hand)