Keeping Up Appearances, Series 4 (1993)

Hyacinth:
(to the postman) I hope that's a first-class stamp. I object to having second-class stamps thrust through my letterbox. I should have thought postmen would be trained to recognise first-class stamp houses.

Hyacinth:
Richard! I've been offered a job at Frosticles!

Richard:
Take it, Hyacinth! Please!

Hyacinth:
I couldn't do that, dear. You'd be so bored at home without me.

Hyacinth:
Beautiful day, Elizabeth?

Elizabeth:
Yes, isn't it.

Hyacinth:
Completely conducive to contemplating cosy charismatic country cottages.

Rose:
Onslow, Father's on the roof again!

Onslow:
Ask him if he's got my bottle opener!

Richard:
What's wrong now?

Hyacinth:
You don't look like someone on business. You look like someone who's gone to fetch a Daddy from a police station.

Richard:
Bye!

Daddy:
(mischievously) His car won't start!

Hyacinth:
Now listen, horse: I'm not a person to be trifled with.

Daisy:
Why don't we have a second honeymoon?

Onslow:
I remember what happened the first time.

Daisy:
Me too. I remember what happened the first time.

Onslow:
We argued the all the time.

Daisy:
Not all the time.

Onslow:
Nearly all the time. I couldn't get over that confession of yours!

Daisy:
Well, I thought it was only proper. If we were starting married life, we shouldn't have any secrets.

Onslow:
But what a time to spring it on a bloke. On his wedding night! I barely got started on all your new underwear and then you told me.

Daisy:
I thought it was a bit much, you getting straight up and going out for a long walk.

Onslow:
I had to think about things. I had to decide if I could live with it.

Daisy:
I can't think what was so bad about it!

Onslow:
You should have come clean about it before we got married.

Daisy:
You wouldn't have married me.

Onslow:
You were lucky I didn't divorce you.

Daisy:
It's not grounds for divorce.

Onslow:
Being a Liverpool supporter!

Onslow:
You look up at the sky and you think 'That's nice.' Little do you realise it's full of black holes! They can suck you in. Compress all your matter.

Daisy:
(looking at his stomach) It could do with a bit.

Onslow:
Oh, nice!

Daisy:
Look, if it's going to upset you, you have to stop watching Open University.

Onslow:
I wish we could afford a new car.

Daisy:
I wish we could afford this one.

Richard:
I'll be up there, looking for icebergs and growing a beard.

Richard:
I believe I could get used to this; going places and not having to drive. (to himself) Not that I ever do drive. I just steer and follow instructions.

Hyacinth:
When you have to choose between Angel Gabriel Blue and Lucifer Grey, you need the spiritual advice.

Richard:
Oh, I see.

Hyacinth:
I had to have the Vicar's confirmation that this is Angel Gabriel blue.

Daisy:
A strange man in the house.

Rose:
(looks at Onslow) There's been one here for years.

Daisy:
What are we going to do?

Onslow:
Well, I know what I'm gonna do. (hits the TV and sits down)

Daisy:
Onslow, you can't just sit there watching telly when there's a strange man in Father's bed!

Onslow:
Throw him out.

Rose:
You can't! He's got a receipt!

Hyacinth:
You'll pay for this, Richard Bucket! (realises her mistake) ...Bouquet!

Hyacinth:
The Bucket residence, the lady of the house speaking! No, you cannot have a number 41 with noodles instead of rice. Do I sound like the Green Lotus? What do you mean "sounds more like the Green Dragon"? Look, I must warn you, you're speaking to a white slimline telephone within the precincts of a clergyman. And a very merry Chinese New Year to you, too!